Author's notes: ' ' indicates Jake and Selmak speaking to each other; italics indicate Selmak is speaking aloud to Janet
Jake barely made it to Janet's house on time. Of course, Jake had to promise Jack he would turn in his report tomorrow as Jake was running out of the Gate Room. There had been barely enough time for a shower but he did it anyway making up for time by speeding on the streets. Luckily for him, because of the spring weather, the roads were now snow free. He was even luckier that he didn't get pulled over by the police because in his haste he left his wallet in his locker.
Ever since Sarah came into his life, Jake has made the effort to keep all his promises, especially the promise to never be late. He knew he hadn't been the greatest father in the world when raising Mark and Sam, but he was endeavoring to improve himself for Sarah's sake. It was much easier this time around with Selmak there to always remind him, to keep him steady, and to constantly harass him when he's being an idiot.
And Selmak was there, surreptitiously planting her little seeds of romance in his mind about Janet too. Only Jake was onto his symbiote and never let those seeds blossom into an intimate relationship with Janet. He couldn't allow them to bloom if he was to remain in control of his feelings for Janet.
Plus, Jake wasn't blind to what Janet was doing either! The woman was BOLD! Whenever he was over, she made sure he stayed for dinner. Practically dragging him to the dining room table if she had too! Every so often, on such nights, Jake didn't make it back to the base until midnight or later because he and Janet were talking. And no matter how much Selmak whined, pleaded or begged, Jake fought her and himself to remain in control when with Janet, never allowing their conversations to progress into something more.
It's not that he didn't want something to happen. Jake greatly enjoyed Janet's presence and found her to be a more beautiful person each time he was with her. Though, each time with Janet was a struggle, a battle to keep his emotions for her in check. And each battle was getting harder to win and Jake knew his mind was losing the war against his heart.
Deep within Jake's heart, he loved Janet and would do anything for her, for Cassie, and for Sarah. And he would openly admit he loved Janet but only to Selmak. But what Jake couldn't tell Selmak, what was the driving force behind the doubts in his mind, was that he strongly believed that Janet had never let go of her own reality.
How could Janet ever see Jake for the man he was if she hadn't mourned Jacob properly?
True, Janet shed her tears for her husband and her friends but there was never a funeral. Having experienced the loss of his wife and many friends, Jake felt that a funeral provided some closure that enabled one to move on. This was something Selmak truly didn't understand and which was why she no longer shared his doubts. The life of a Tok'ra didn't really leave much time for funerals. It was pure survival, moving from one host to the next, moving from one planet to the next.
When he first blended with Selmak there wasn't even time to mourn Saroosh, Selmak's last host! Jake had been shocked and had mentioned it to Selmak. Her reply, "It's our way of life. A life I have lived for nearly two thousand years." Selmak wasn't being mean or cold hearted and had actually seemed rather melancholy when she told him; Jake even had felt her enduring love for Saroosh and how she had deeply mourned the nice lady in her own way. Selmak had simply stated a matter of fact to make him understand. Only Jake never got used to that part of the Tok'ra way of living. So he did what he had to do whenever they lost some of their friends. He was the reason why they performed a type of funeral ceremony on the Alpha site a couple of years ago.
At the time, Selmak was too busy bitching about having to heal his leg that she didn't have any objections to the funeral arrangements. Then later Selmak admitted that he did a beautiful thing. But Selmak was just as, if not more, stubborn than Jake in holding to ones beliefs; while she appreciated what he had done it didn't change her view. And Jake truly believed Janet need to move on before he could express his love to her or her love to him.
Holding that love inside wasn't at all easy and Jake was to a point where he desperately wanted…no needed, Janet to let go. Until Janet did so, Jake would scrap and struggle his way through each tormenting battle. He had to. No matter how strong his feelings for her were and for however long he had too, he had to keep up the fight.
In the meantime, all was not a loss, Jake was getting to know Janet very well and he was around often enough to be a true father to Sarah and not one of those weekend dads. The little baby was still smaller than the average baby her age but Sarah didn't know that. She was a little bundle of energy, always on the go now that she could crawl.
She was a handful for Janet alone who was so grateful for every second Jake could be there to help. Only problem was that Sarah absolutely adored Jake and grew even more rambunctious whenever he was around. Her shrieks grew louder and her giggle fits lasted longer whenever Jake was playing with her. He was thankful Selmak was there to help give him the energy to keep up with Sarah.
Today was no different. Jake arrived in the late morning to take care of Sarah while Janet and Cassie went shopping for the day. Throughout the day he and Selmak watched Sarah sleep, feed her, repeatedly changed her diaper like a pro, and played with her as she sat with her toys or crawled around her room. It was a rewarding and an exhausting day. Rewarding because Jake and Sarah's bond only grew that much stronger. Exhausting, mainling because Jake or Selmak hadn't rested in almost three days. They had come directly to Janet's house after a two day mission.
Jake had only taken a few catnaps during the mission while Selmak remained awake the whole time. The need to rest had finally become too much when, thankfully, Sarah had wound down for her afternoon nap. Jake fell asleep on the couch holding her on his chest, comfortably knowing that Selmak would wake him or take care of the baby if necessary.
"Jake…"
His eyes opened suddenly and he sat up with a start.
"Sarah!" he exclaimed seeing that she wasn't with him anymore.
"She's fine," Janet smiled, resting her hands on his shoulders to calm him. "Cassie's giving her a bath. Don't worry, Selmak was taking care of Sarah when we arrived. She told me that you hadn't slept for the past few days. Why didn't you tell me? Cassie and I wouldn't have been gone for so long."
"I couldn't back out on my agreement. You and Cassie had been looking forward to this day for some time."
Janet smiled, getting to her feet and Jake caught a whiff of her sweet perfume. He instantly heard a giggle from Selmak!
'Don't say a thing!' he warned Selmak who was being extremely quiet and calculating since he woke up..
She merely continued giggling softly in his mind. Jake could tell she was scheming something because he couldn't access all her memories during the time he had been sleeping. The only memories he could access were of Selmak making Sarah giggle hysterically by making fart noises on the baby's belly and her attempting to spoon feed Sarah some baby food!
No wonder Sarah needed a bath! From the memory, Jake could see Selmak was unsuccessful at getting the food in Sarah's mouth! Of course Sarah was being a wiggling, giggling target! Most of the food ended up on her face and in her hair! And no wonder his shirt felt damp and smelled of baby food too! Sarah managed to fling the food back at Selmak, laughing when she did it too!
'Selmak, pretend the spoon is a jet! That always works,' Jake advised her before turning his attention to Janet.
'Oh yeah! No wonder Samantha's a pilot!' Selmak snorted.
'Selmak, quiet, Janet's talking!'
"Well, I can't allow you to leave until you've eaten a good dinner," Janet grinned. "I hope you like Chinese food. I brought home enough to feed a squadron."
"I'm starving…I haven't eaten since yesterday," he said getting to his feet.
He immediately received disapproving looks from Janet as she stood there with her hands on her hips.
"What!" he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Selmak regulates my metabolism, I can either eat as much as or as little as I want."
"You still need to eat regularly for both of you!"
"Thank you, Janet! Nice to know someone cares about me!" Selmak quickly commented.
"Selmak!" Jake complained out loud. "I do care about you!"
Janet just laughed at him.
"I do care about her!" he smiled to Janet, making her laugh even harder. "God only knows why!"
While Janet was laughing, Jake was readying himself for a good whack on the brainstem from Selmak. He had no doubt that she was a little irked by his last comment. Only to his surprise there was no whacking. Ok, she was really up to something!
'No scheming Jake, I just didn't want to disturb the playful mood you're in,' Selmak said to him as Janet was composing herself.
"Why don't you both go clean up, I'm going to see how Cassie's doing," Janet ordered with a smile.
"Yes, Ma'am!" he jokingly saluted, making her laugh so hard tears were rolling down her cheeks. "What? You happen to be the only one at Cheyenne Mountain whose orders I listen too!"
"You don't have to salute me!"
"Why not? You won't ever see us saluting Jack!"
"Just go clean up!" Janet laughed pointing towards the bathroom.
Jake merely smiled as he walked by, following her orders.
'Jake, were you flirting? I do believe you were flirting with her!' Selmak teased, making Jake roll his eyes.
'Selmak, you have that wrong, Janet's the flirt!'
'Yes…too bad you don't do something about that.'
'Selmak, don't start!'
'I didn't start anything. You're the one who's always thinking about Janet. I'm simply the co-pilot waiting for my captain to DO SOMETHING!'
Jake sighed closing the bathroom door. Selmak continued her rant. He pretended to listen but his thoughts were elsewhere. Selmak wanted him to do something. Janet wanted him to do something. Hell, even he wanted to do something! But until he was sure what Janet really wanted he did nothing and would continue to do…nothing.
He would remain a visitor in her home. Ok, a regular visitor who was there four, almost five days a week for the past few months. But still a visitor because he always left Janet's home and slept alone in his own bed in his quarters at the SGC.
Only tonight, during dinner and after, while sitting there listening to Janet and Cassie talk, Jake never felt so much like the outsider before. He knew he didn't really belong but Janet always made him feel like he belonged. Still, even though he was Sarah's father, he wasn't really a part of Janet's family. In his heart he wanted to be a permanent part of Janet's family.
"Excuse me ladies, I'm going to check on Sarah," he smiled politely, getting up from his chair.
"What's wrong Jake, too much girl talk for you?" Cassie teased.
"Something like that," he smiled.
Jake quickly darted his eyes in the other direction when he noticed Janet's questioning looks. And he made his exit before she could ask him the question.
When he was going up the stairs, Selmak asked, 'Why did you leave if you really wanted to be with them?'
'Selmak…it's not what I want that matters…I'm not really a part of her family, I'm just…a visitor.'
'Jake, if Janet didn't want you to be a part of her family, she wouldn't have asked you to stay for dinner on so many occasions.'
Jake sighed looking down at Sarah sleeping. Normally, he found it very relaxing when watching any of his babies sleeping peacefully. Their stillness often helped him to see things clearly. However, babies normally don't show up from alternate realities and turn one's life upside-down! Ever since Sarah and Janet arrived, Jake had never been so confused in his entire life and he doubted that he ever would see anything clearly again!
'Jake, what's really troubling you?' Selmak asked when he didn't respond to her.
"Jake?" a soft voiced called from the doorway of Sarah's room, interrupting his conversation with Selmak.
Turning, Jake saw Janet standing there in the doorway but he couldn't look at her. She was too beautiful. She was only wearing blue jeans and a blouse. But the way her long hair was down and flowed freely over her shoulders made her even lovelier. Too lovely to resist; which is why he had to turn away.
"I'm sorry. I didn't feel…comfortable sitting there while you two women were talking," he said, reaching down and adjusting Sarah's blanket even though it was fine.
"Jake, we need to talk. Come down stairs, please," Janet requested.
He forced himself to look at her then nodded.
'Jake, you need to relax!' Selmak said as Jake followed Janet down the stairs. 'Try drinking some more wine.'
'What's the point when you keep it from affecting me!' he growled at his alcohol inhibiting symbiote.
'I won't this time, promise!' Selmak crooned.
Jake contemplated for a moment then decided one…no two glasses of wine should do it!
"Janet, I'm going to get a glass of wine, do you want one?" he asked when she sat down on the couch.
"I'm a step ahead of you," Janet smiled reaching for the bottle that he didn't notice on the coffee table. "Come, sit down."
Jake sighed then moved to sit on the couch, purposely sitting at the far end away from Janet.
"Are you still tired?" she asked handing him his glass.
"A little," he sighed, and then took a long drink. "Where's Cassie?"
"She's gone to bed. She wants to get up early to study for an exam."
"What did you want to talk about?" he asked taking another drink.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Janet set her glass down as she moved to sit right next to him. Jake quickly gulped down the rest of the wine, as he was suddenly nervous by her closeness. Being the responsible hostess, Janet refilled his glass as she started to talk to him.
"I want to talk about you possibly getting a place in town. A home where you can take Sarah on your days off."
"I haven't had time to look for an apartment. If I'm not working, I'm here with Sarah…" he said then weakly added. "And you."
Jake felt like such a fool! Janet's beauty had a way of making him feel like an inexperienced kid who had no clue what to say to such a lovely woman! Even if it was to just make idle chatter.
'Selmak, the wine's not helping me relax,' he complained to his symbiote as Janet was going on about some apartments for rent nearby.
'That's because you are so tense and nervous that it's affecting me! Jake, you need to quit fighting your damn feelings!'
Janet continued talking as Jake drained his glass again. This time, Janet took the glass from him and set it on the table.
"Jake, I need you to understand something…"
Jake was obediently listening but he wasn't hearing her words. All he could hear was the sound of her voice. Though he wasn't intentionally ignoring her words! The sound of her voice was just so…hypnotic, as was the way her lips moved when she spoke. The way her face lit up when she smiled was pleasing and touched him deep inside when she looked at him. Her eyes seemed to have a sparkle in them when the soft light reflected on them. The way her wavy hair rested on her shoulders was extremely tempting to just run his fingers through.
Jake found her to be more intoxicating than the wine. Her beauty was too much for him making it difficult for him to even breathe. The past several months he had spent fighting his own feelings he had for Janet. Tonight, in this single moment, he wanted to give in to them…just once.
Without saying a word, he leaned in, tentatively pressing his lips against hers, not knowing if she would accept him or not. Just one kiss was all he wanted. He wasn't a greedy man. Just one exquisite, tender kiss to satiate his appetite.
Only he couldn't stop himself. He loved her. It was too hard for him to be with her and yet not be with her. Just being in her presence wasn't enough for him anymore. It was double hard because Selmak shared that love for Janet. The feelings Jake had were intense because of the symbiote's presence and because Selmak was always trying to push Jake into doing something with Janet other than just being friends.
Maybe that's why he couldn't stop himself. Maybe it finally was the wine he consumed. Or maybe it was Selmak playing with the chemical levels in his body. He didn't care and only grew bolder when Janet didn't resist him kissing her, daring to let his hand slip beneath her blouse onto the small of her back.
His kissing grew more passionate at the softness of her skin against his fingertips. The sensation was too exhilarating when combined with the sweet taste of the wine on her lips. The luscious fragrance of her perfume was too enticing as his lips slowly wandered down her neck. The tiny freckle she had on her chest several inches below her neck was just too irresistible not to kiss…
"Jake…" Janet whispered as her hands gently pushed against his chest.
"Janet, I'm sorry…I'm sorry!" he stammered breathlessly. "Please, forgive me…I shouldn't have…"
'Selmak, why didn't you stop me?' he cursed at his symbiote even while he was cursing himself for giving into temptation!
'Jake, you didn't want to stop!' Selmak laughed.
'Selmak!' he pleaded while desperately trying not to think about how close Janet was to him.
'Ok Jake, I'll admit there was this tiny voice, barely a whisper, deep within your mind murmuring no while every bit of the rest of you was practically SHOUTING HELL YES! I was simply going with the majority's decision!'
"Jake…" Janet smiled touching his face.
"Janet, please forgive me. I had no right to kiss you like that or any other way."
"Jake, it's ok," she sighed, cupping his face with her hands.
"Janet, please…" he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to fight his own body or fight what Selmak was making his body do. He was in such a euphoric haze he couldn't tell.
'Selmak, will you stop it!' he weakly barked at his symbiote.
Yes, he weakly begged Selmak to stop it because the truth was that he didn't want to stop! But he didn't want to offend Janet either!
'Jake, I told you, it's not me!' Selmak laughed at him even harder than before. 'And I'm not going to do a thing to stop you…loverboy!'
Janet's warm moist lips pressed against his, startling Jake. Confused, he opened his eyes to see she was smiling at him again.
"Jake, honey, I didn't stop you for the reasons that you're thinking," Janet purred.
"I don't understand," he admitted.
"Cassie has a tendency to get up in the middle of the night for a snack or something to drink. I would prefer if we went upstairs," Janet whispered into his ear, before she playfully tugged on his earlobe with her lips.
Jake blinked in surprised, and he could feel how overjoyed Selmak was. Hell, she was giggling and clapping like a schoolgirl! Although, he seriously doubted that Selmak was ever as innocent as a schoolgirl!
"Make sure you turn the lights off and lock the front door," Janet smiled, kissing him affectionately on the lips again.
Sitting there, with his mouth somewhat a gape, Jake watched Janet leave. Then he slowly did as he was told, turning the lights off in the living room and the kitchen, locking the front door.
Just before he was about to ascend the stairs, Jake suddenly heard soft purring. Looking around he didn't see a cat; he could have sworn Janet didn't even own a cat.
'Selmak?'
'Sorry, I was getting excited!' she giggled and Jake had a feeling she was blushing!
'Is that what a symbiote does during sex?'
'No, but it's what you imagined that I would do!'
Jake smiled. That was true. He had been thinking about it a lot lately, wondering what Selmak would do. Soft purring always seemed to come to mind.
'I promise to keep the purring as soft as a little kitten's purr. I don't want you to be distracted.'
'Yeah, I bet you don't!' he retorted, realizing that Selmak would NEVER blush!
'Jake, it's been decades!' she playfully whined. 'I can't help it if I'm a little anxious!'
'Alright! One question…are there any specific areas I should be paying attention too, other than the ones I already know about.'
'Actually, for a man, you are quite knowledgeable of a woman's physiology. But I do have a suggestion…never keep a lady waiting.'
'I do hope you're talking about Janet,' he said as he began climbing the stairs.
Selmak just giggled and purred. Her sounds were accompanied by a warm tingly sensation at the back of his neck that flowed down his spine. If she was this excited now, Jake was wondering how she was going to be later!
After a quick glance at Sarah sleeping in her crib, Jake finally made it to Janet's room. She was conveniently already under the covers and appeared to be waiting anxiously for him. He didn't need any goading from Selmak for him to do anything. He knew what to do after he closed the bedroom door.
There were still those lingering doubts in his mind. But it was his body he was listening to at the moment. Jake couldn't believe it, he felt like he was twenty years old again. He didn't realize how beneficial having a symbiote could actually be until he was with Janet!
And he was quite surprised when Janet's own insatiable appetite matched his own during their lovemaking. Each kiss, each caress, each stroke, all equally as passionate and intense. And yet each touch was never rushed or hurried, always slow, deliberate, affectionate and pleasurable. Each intended to make the moment last as long as possible.
Then, when Jake didn't think his ecstasy could reach a higher plateau, it did. All Janet did was call out his name during one of her many peaks in their passion. His name, Jake, not her husband's name, Jacob. In that moment, any doubts about her seeing him only as her late husband were extinguished and the flood gates of his emotions were flung wide open.
Each touch and kiss of Janet's was like fuel to his desire to love her even more. To tell her he loved her with his entire heart and soul. Jake didn't even care that Selmak was purring so loudly in his head that it was almost as deafening as a 747 roaring by. After all, host and symbiote are as one; his pleasure was her pleasure. And together they expressed their love for Janet.
At first it was a strange feeling. He would be kissing Janet but his hands weren't under his control. Then when he was controlling his hands, Selmak was kissing Janet. It took quite a few minutes to get the hang of it. The two of them weren't always on the same page and had to learn to work as a team. Janet even laughed at them a couple of times. Thankfully she understood what they were doing and allowed both Jake and Selmak to fumble around a bit until they began working in unison.
This time it was the three of them working together towards one common pleasurable goal. Only once it was achieved did their passion finally die down. With Selmak snoring softly in his head, Jake fell into an exhausted sleep pressing his chest against Janet's back with his arm around her.
Sam and her team sat quietly at the briefing table. She noticed how General O'Neill kept glancing at his watch every ten seconds and was waiting from him to ask the question on everyone's mind.
The briefing was supposed to start at 0800. It was now 0815 and her father still hadn't shown up. That was so unlike him. He was always on time to the second for briefings and debriefings.
"Carter…"
"I haven't seen him, Sir," Sam answered before he asked the question about where her father was. "And he wasn't in his quarters when I arrived on base this morning."
"I'm sure Jake as an explanation for being late," Daniel suggested. "He would never purposely be late."
"But Jake always calls first," O'Neill sighed getting to his feet.
"You think something might have happened to him?" Daniel asked.
"I doubt it, Daniel. The NID have done enough of their own research on symbiotes, I don't think they would want Selmak," Sam said confidently.
"And if Jake was in an accident, we would have been notified by now," O'Neill said. "I'm going to make a phone call…for Jake's sake, he better have had an accident!"
"Would it not be prudent to call Dr. Fraiser?" Teal'c asked.
"I think that's what Jack's about to do," Daniel smiled.
"He was babysitting Sarah yesterday so Janet could take Cassie shopping, despite the fact that he was tired and hadn't had a chance to rest," Sam said.
"The symbiote could sustain him," Teal'c said.
"That may be true Teal'c, but a symbiote does need to rest too. Especially the Tok'ra symbiotes because they don't use a sarcophagus," Sam countered, as Jack was returning from his office. "Sir?"
"I just talked with Cassie. She said Jake's not feeling well and is using one of his sick days," Jack explained with a look of amusement on his face. "I believe you owe me, Daniel."
Sam saw Daniel pull his wallet out and hand the General a hundred dollar bill.
"You're not doing so good Daniel," O'Neill smiled taking the bill. "Two bets in a row you lost, better quit gambling."
"I can't believe you guys bet on my father getting together with Janet!"
"Carter, it was all in good fun," Jack smiled.
"No…I'm upset you didn't even include me!"
A phone ringing in the distance woke her but seemed to stop after one or two rings. Janet couldn't tell. As her senses slowly awakened she could hear Jake's gentle snoring near her ear. She missed that sound and she missed the warmth of a man's body cuddled against hers. She missed the feeling of a strong arm wrapped around her or the hand she held close to her chest.
When she lost her husband her bed was so empty and lonely, she longed to hold him one last time. Then, when she nearly lost Jake, she was filled with a different longing, a desire that finally came to pass and hopefully would endure.
Janet yawned and slowly stretched. Then she gently turned over beneath his arm, being extra careful to not wake him. Looking at him, she could see he was in an extremely deep sleep. She smiled letting her fingertips move slowly through his chest hairs. She saw more closely the physical differences he had from the Jacob in her reality. For instance, there were scars on Jake's chest. Jacob didn't have any of those. And being a medical doctor, Janet recognized them as scars from bullet wounds Jake acquired long ago. He had told her once that he was in Black Ops for a portion of his career. Jacob was only a pilot.
Her fingertips even gently touched the scar on his forehead. It was something she always did with Jacob and now would do with Jake. Once she looked beyond the similarities, she was able to see the man Jake really was and fell in love with him.
And since this was a different reality and a different man, Janet had restrained from going after him. She flirted with him on occasion but just enough to send him little messages. Ok, so she flirted with him a lot! She didn't want him to receive any mixed messages. And she did so knowing what kind of man he was. She knew he had to come to her on his own terms because of his doubts but she didn't see anything wrong with trying to erase those doubts.
Janet tried to do everything she could to make sure Jake would have no doubts in his mind that she saw him for who he was. And she had thought he no longer had any doubts when he finally kissed her and came to her bed last night. But it wasn't until during their lovemaking that his doubts were finally snuffed out.
All Janet did was involuntarily call out his name into his ear during an intensely pleasurable moment. Then immediately after, Jake began speaking to her between his kisses, telling her how much he loved her. How he loved everything about her, her voice, her hair, her beauty for the person she was, even how soft her skin felt when pressed against his. And Selmak, he never forgot to mention how much the symbiote loved her too. Together they poured all of their love into her and she in turn showed them both how much she loved them.
Janet was pleasantly surprised at how passionate the pair was. Not that her husband and symbiote weren't passionate. They both loved life and lived it to the fullest. But Jake's passion was different from Jacob's. Jacob had never experienced some of the pain that Jake did. Jacob lost his wife but a year before he was implanted with a symbiote. Jake only had his wife for fifteen short years, less than half the time Jacob had his, and Jake hadn't loved a woman since then. Plus, Janet's Jacob and Selmak were never tortured, not even Selmak when she was in previous hosts. Janet was sure being tortured made one look at life a little differently, especially when you came out of it grateful to be alive.
The differences resulted in Jake and Selmak's passion being much more intense. Their kiss was longer and deeper. Their touch was more affectionate and lingering. Nothing was ever rushed or hurried. Everything orchestrated to communicate how deeply they loved her without ever speaking the words.
Looking at them now, she knew she loved them both and loved them as deeply as she did their counterparts.
"I do love you," she whispered, moving her hand around his neck, gently stroking where Selmak was located at the back of his neck. "Both of you."
The sensation didn't wake them. Neither did her soft kiss against their lips. Janet doubted that anything would wake them at the moment. Both mentioned that they were so exhausted that they could sleep for a week. Not wanting to disturb their much needed slumber, Janet slowly slipped out from beneath their arm and from under the covers.
While Janet was putting her robe on Sarah's cries sounded on the baby monitor. Janet was beginning to wonder when Sarah was going to wake up. It was well past eight in the morning and past her feeding time.
When Janet arrived in the nursery, she was mildly surprised that Cassie was already there.
"Sorry, Mom," Cassie smiled. "I was trying to get to her before she woke you up."
"It's alright," Janet smiled taking Sarah into her arms. "How's my baby girl? Wet diaper I see. Mommy will fix it then you can eat."
Cassie handed Janet some fresh clothes and a diaper after Janet set Sarah down on the changing table. Sarah, as usual, kicked about making things as difficult as possible for her mommy. Of course, giggling and gurgling the entire time!
"Mom, Jack called asking for Jake. Apparently, Jake had a briefing this morning."
"Why didn't you wake us?"
"I didn't want to wake you guys," Cassie smirked. "So, I told Jack that Jake wasn't feeling well."
"What?" Janet laughed, as she made sure Sarah's fresh diaper was snuggly on.
"Yeah, Jack thought it was funny, a man with a symbiote in his head calling in sick! He said to tell Jake not to worry, the mission would be rescheduled."
"Thanks honey, I'll be sure to give Jake the message," Janet smiled, as she buttoned up Sarah's one-piece pajamas.
Sarah was through having her fun. Her bottom lip puckered up, big tears formed in her eyes, and her mouth opened to let out a wail telling her mommy she was hungry.
"Shh, in a moment baby," Janet cooed, holding Sarah close with one arm while grabbing a blanket from the crib with her other hand.
"Mom, I'm glad you and Jake finally got together. Now you can both be happy," Cassie said, hugging her Mom. "You should have him move in, so you can be together all the time. I think he would like that. I know Sarah would."
"What about you, honey?" Janet asked, rocking Sarah in an attempt to quiet her down.
"I like Jake. He's a good guy. And…the sooner you two get together, the sooner you'll get married…and the sooner Sam and I become sisters!"
"Cassie!"
"What? Jake loves you! I see it in his eyes when he watches you and thinks no one's watching him. Besides, I'm starting College in a couple of months. It will be nice to know you won't be alone in this house."
"Just remember, it's your house too and you're welcome home any time."
Cassie smiled, "Thanks Mom. I won't forget."
"Are you still going to your friend's house to study?" Janet asked as they walked out of the nursery.
"Yeah, I'll be home in time for dinner."
"Call if you need a ride, honey."
Janet hugged and kissed Cassie goodbye then head back to her bedroom. Sarah hadn't stopped crying but the volume of her cries diminished because she realized that at any second she was about to get what she wanted. Her cries didn't even wake Jake either. He was still exactly how Janet left him. He was even still snoring. And Janet didn't want to wake him, so she sat in the rocking chair maneuvering Sarah into feeding position. From there, Janet could continue watching Jake sleep while feeding Sarah.
"There you go," Janet cooed to Sarah who suckled eagerly on her mother's breast. "Try not to…ow…Sarah! That hurt!"
Sarah continued feeding, unaware that her eagerness caused mommy some discomfort. Compared to all that Janet had been through, she didn't mind a little bit of discomfort. Besides, with Sarah's teeth coming in, Janet was going to start bottle feeding Sarah more often now and get her on some baby food. So, the only biting Janet would soon have to worry about would be from Jake. The man loved to nibble!
Speak of the devil, Janet saw that Jake finally moved. He looked like he was trying to snuggle against a body that wasn't there. When he didn't find her, he opened his eyes. When those dark brown eyes of his locked onto hers her stomach quivered. Janet had been waiting so long to see that look in his eyes. He loved her; she could see it in his eyes. A long sigh escaped from him as a smile grew on his face. Yes, there was no misunderstanding that look of pure affection he had towards her.
Janet didn't want to disappoint him, so she got up and was careful to not disturb Sarah's eating as she moved to sit beside him on the bed.
"What a wonderful sight…my two lovely angels," he grinned, sitting up beside her. "Good morning."
"Good morning," she said as he kissed her lips.
"How are you doing?" he asked, in between him kissing her cheek and neck.
"A little tired, but I'm fine," Janet sighed. "What about the two of you?"
"Selmak's still sleeping but we're both fine," he whispered, kissing her ear.
Janet was only mildly disappointed when he stopped kissing her. But she felt his arm wrap around her and she willingly let him snuggle against her. Nothing but joy filled her heart as she listened to Jake talking softly to Sarah, telling the little darling how much he loved her too. Sarah was intent on getting her fill but she did look in Jake's direction and gave him a quick little smile.
"I think, Sarah and I could get used to you being here like this on a regular basis," Janet said.
"Subtle, aren't you?"
"Jake, I've waited long enough for you to come around. I have no intention of letting you and Selmak out of my life. You're place is here…with me, Cassie, and Sarah."
"Janet, moving in with you girls is a big step…"
"But after last night I thought…"
"I do love you! Last night was beyond wonderful! Selmak and I both hope there will be more nights like it."
"Then why not move in?" Janet asked, closing her robe and maneuvering Sarah into the burping position. "If you love me and I love you. You're not having doubts again, are you?"
"No, those doubts are gone now."
"Then why?"
"Janet, do you even know what my doubts were? And why I've had them for so long?" he countered.
"I assume you thought I only saw you as my late husband. But I don't! Not anymore! You and Selmak are different from the Jacob and Selmak in the reality I came from and I love you both just as much as I loved them! For taking so long, I just assumed you were being stubborn."
"I was being stubborn and when I was first making love to you, I still had my doubts. But you never did anything to totally relieve me of my doubts."
"What?" Janet shot back at him in disbelief, cradling Sarah in her arms now.
"I'm sorry! That came out wrong," he quickly explained.
Janet was really confused and was beginning to get a little upset. She thought she had done everything short of dragging him into her bedroom to convey her feelings towards him and Selmak. She always invited him for dinner in the hopes that something like last night would happen. In the beginning he would accept then be on his way after dinner. Then as the months passed, he slowly opened up to her. Some of those evenings they spent talking late into the night. But he always left!
"Janet, don't think I haven't noticed all the things you've done for Selmak and me over the past few months," Jake continued, moving so he could look into her eyes. "We definitely noticed. On several occasions it was very difficult to leave you. Last night…I finally gave into temptation!"
He paused taking her face in his hands.
"But Janet…there's one thing you never did. This one thing was part of the reason why I still had my doubts. I don't blame you. Many in your position probably would have done the same thing, me included."
"Jake, I don't understand," Janet said shakily.
"Janet, my love, my sweet angel," he replied hugging her and Sarah closely. "You never let go! I know you loved him and I know you loved your friends. But you never let them go. Like I said before, I don't blame you. Why let them go when they were all here? Right?"
Janet wept. He was right. She never let them go. She never properly mourned her husband or her friends. It was difficult in the beginning but then Janet found that it so much easier to go from one reality to the other that it made some of the pain easier to bear.
"Shh, don't cry," he cooed, kissing her on each eyelid before kissing her lips. "I do love you. And I do know that you love me."
"And Selmak!"
"And Selmak," he smiled, wiping her tears away. "But I do believe that before we start a new life together as a family, you should bring closure to your old one. I think Jacob, Selmak, and your friends from your reality deserve a proper farewell."
Janet only wept even harder. Even Sarah started to cry at her mommy's distress. Jake didn't say anything but merely held them both against his chest when he lay back down. His hands felt soothing as they rubbed her back but they didn't sooth her feelings.
Her feelings of guilt were overwhelming. Guilt for not even giving her husband or her friends the funeral they deserved. Guilt for making Jake and Selmak have to suffer for so long.
"Do you think Jack can arrange something?" she sobbed.
"Yes, I'm sure he can," Jake said slowly, then quickly but gently moved her to the side before jumping out of bed. "Shit! Janet, I'm so sorry, but I have to go!"
"Jake…" Janet started to laugh as he frantically gathered up his clothes off the floor.
"Janet, this isn't funny! I'm late…really late for a briefing! I've never been late for a briefing during my entire military career!"
"Jake, it's alright! Jack called. Cassie said you were sick. The mission's been rescheduled."
"What? Cassie…said I was sick?" he asked in disbelief.
"Jake, your jacket and car keys were still on the chair by the door. It wasn't hard for her to figure out you spent the night. She was covering for you. And, Jack…well of course he totally understood!"
Jake shook his head, smiling. Then he quickly climbed back under the covers pulling Janet and Sarah into his arms again.
"Besides, you moving in was Cassie's idea," Janet explained. "She and everyone else at the SGC have been waiting for us to get together! So you see…I'm not letting you go so easily."
"Ok, I'll stay," he sighed. "Do you want me to talk with Jack about the arrangements?"
"No, I'll do them. It's my responsibility. But…"
"What is it?" he asked after a long moment of silence.
"Will you be there with me and Sarah?"
"Whenever you, Sarah…or Cassie need me or Selmak, we'll be there…always…we promise."
They were true to their word. When Janet needed them most they were there for her. She didn't realize how much Jake was right until she was standing there with Sarah in her arms at the funeral ceremony. Janet thought she had cried all her tears. But she couldn't stop crying during the funeral. Jake had handed Janet a tissue but she took his whole arm instead. He didn't complain one bit and let her soak his jacket.
Nor did he complain about her weeping on his shoulder after he asked her to marry him! WOW, what a romantic night that was! Jake had arranged for Sam and Jack to baby-sit Sarah so that he and Janet could go out to dinner. Janet was so surprised when Jake suddenly got down on his knee and proposed. Janet burst into tears of happiness when he asked. And of course, she accepted his proposal without hesitation.
Jake had been so thrilled about her answer he could barely contain his excitement. Hell, Janet couldn't contain hers either. Selmak, being the voice of romantic reason, quietly whispered in Janet's ear that Jake had just gotten a credit increase on his Gold Card and that there was a FOUR star hotel a block down the street where she had already made a reservation! Both Janet and Jake were surprised but were eager to take advantage of the situation!
Even though it's been several weeks since that night, Janet still smiled whenever she thought about that evening.
"Selmak's wondering if you're day dreaming again," Jake teased pulling Janet away from clearing the dishes off the kitchen table and into his arms.
Janet didn't have a chance to answer because he kissed her, long and deep.
"Shouldn't you two be saving that for the honeymoon or something?" Sam said.
Their lips reluctantly parted but Jake didn't let Janet out of his embrace.
"That's three of us and we're practicing for the wedding!" Jake smiled.
"Really, Dad, every time I walk in a room, when you three are alone, you're always practicing!" Sam laughed.
"Oh, what were you and Jack doing in the living room while we were cutting Sarah's Birthday cake?" Jake countered making Sam blush.
"Well at least we weren't putting a show on for Sarah!" Sam shot right back at him.
"Sarah doesn't mind when we kiss in front of her, see?" Jake said and they all looked to Sarah who was sitting in her high chair.
Sarah wasn't even paying attention to them! She was too busy having fun with a piece of her chocolate Birthday cake by smashing what was left of it on her tray. She already had frosting speared on her cheeks and cake crumbs in her hair. Janet seriously doubted that Sarah even ate much of her cake and decided that it was probably for the best. She didn't want Sarah too spoiled! Bad enough Selmak gave the baby sweets behind Janet's back!
"Sarah, you're supposed to eat the cake, not wear it!" Janet chuckled.
Sarah looked up and gave them all a huge chocolate smile.
"I'll clean her up," Jake smiled, giving Janet a quick kiss before pulling Sarah out of her high chair. "I see you enjoyed your cake little girl!"
"Uh oh!" Sarah said when cake crumbs fell all over the floor.
"Uh oh is right! Janet, we need to consider getting a dog! Saves Selmak and me from cleaning up some of the messes Sarah makes on the floor!" Jake grinned.
"Just go, Jake. I'll clean up the mess," Janet smiled, gently pushing him towards the door. "You don't want to miss the second half of the football game."
"Come on Sarah, let's go watch some football! I think I'll put you in one of your new pretty dresses after I clean you up! Would you like that?"
Jake was making Sarah giggle uncontrollably as they left the room which made Janet laugh and shake her head as she started clean up the cake crumbs off the floor.
"Janet, I don't know if I've ever thanked you," Sam said, helping Janet clean.
"For what?" she asked, throwing away the napkins.
"For making my father happy," Sam explained. "It's been so long since I've seen him this happy…I just wanted to say thank you."
"You're welcome but its Jake and Selmak who have made me very happy. A year ago today my world ended. When I first came into this reality, I never thought I would find that kind of love again or find a father for Sarah. But I found them both…just like Jacob and Selmak wanted me to."
Sam smiled and sat down at the table. Janet noticed Sam had this far away look in her eyes. It made Janet smile as she quickly cut them both some cake.
"How are you feeling Sam?" Janet asked, handing Sam a piece of cake and sitting across from her friend. "I haven't seen you eat much today."
"I'm fine," Sam sighed.
But Janet knew better and gave Sam a long stare.
"Janet, I'm fine. Really!"
To prove her point, Sam put a big bite of cake in her mouth. Janet merely smiled and patiently waited for Sam to swallow her food.
"So when are you going to tell Jack about the baby?" Janet asked, deciding it was better to be blunt about the subject…like always.
Sam's bottom jaw just dropped. If it hadn't been connected to the rest of her head it would have hit the table.
"Sam, I'm a Doctor and a mother! I know all the signs," Janet laughed. "And I know you! You are your father's daughter!"
Sam blushed in excitement that someone else knew her secret.
"I only just found out yesterday," Sam smiled blissfully. "I haven't figured out how to tell him yet."
"Best to come right out with it when you both are alone! Just like I did!" Janet smirked.
It took a moment but Sam caught on.
"You too!"
"Yes, you should have seen Jake's face! I had to laugh at him! That poor man! Selmak decided that since we were already getting married, that there wouldn't be any problem in me getting pregnant before hand. She could care less if Jake was old fashioned or not!"
"She!"
"Oh Crap! Sam, please, don't tell Jake! I promised him I would never tell anyone about Selmak!"
"Don't worry Janet, I won't tell," Sam laughed uncontrollably. "Somehow, I think I've always known Selmak was female. There were too many times my Dad was…more cuddly than he normal self."
"So, how far along are you?"
"Six weeks."
"Four weeks for me," Janet smiled rubbing her belly.
"Four weeks? That means…"
"Yeah, right after Jake and Selmak's last off world mission, the one where you and them almost didn't come home alive. I guess that's why Selmak didn't see any harm in letting me get pregnant."
"Janet, you know the risk every time we go off world."
"I know Sam…but I was so grateful Jake and Selmak decided to not take those chances anymore! Do you know what a relief that was to me? Especially now that I'm pregnant! I no longer have to worry about them. I love them too much. Plus, I no longer had to worry about Sarah growing up without a father."
Janet paused, quickly drying her tears. She didn't want Jake or Selmak to suddenly waltz in and see her crying. Her tears always upset them both so much.
"I just wish Selmak had discussed it with both Jake and me first before letting me get pregnant!" Janet laughed making Sam smile. Then Janet seriously said, "Your baby will make you realized that some things are worth sacrificing. I know Jack wishes you would stop going on off world missions. Your father does too."
Sam reached across the table and took hold of Janet's hand.
"I've put in for a transfer already," Sam smiled. "Jack's retiring and we're moving next week when you and Dad…and Selmak are on your honeymoon."
"Where will you be going?" Janet sadly asked.
"Area 51," Sam smiled, squeezing Janet's hand gently. "I understand there's a new three star General in charge there!"
Now it was Janet's turn to be surprised.
"Jake received the phone call from George last night! He takes over a few days after we get home from the honeymoon!"
"I know! General Hammond called to tell me. He suggested I go there to keep an eye on my father and to keep the family together."
"The family," Janet said sadly. "Too bad Jake can't share his happiness with his own son. It tears Jake apart each time he visits Mark and the grandkids. He wishes so much that he could tell his own son about Sarah and me."
Sam smiled, "Some wishes come true."
Before Janet could question what Sam meant, Sam's cell phone rang and she quickly answered it.
"Carter…Yes, we're all here. Thank you, Sir…That sounds like an excellent idea. Ok…Bye."
Sam's smile grew even bigger.
"What?" Janet asked as the front doorbell rang.
"Come on, Janet…you don't want to miss this!" Sam said grabbing Janet's hand and dragged her out of the kitchen.
She and Sam arrived just as Jake was opening the front door. Sarah, Jake's shadow, was standing right beside her daddy holding onto his pant leg, cleaned and wearing a pretty pink dress. Janet couldn't see who was outside but Jake's mouth fell open and he had this look of confusion like he didn't know what to do or what to say. He did manage to quickly pick up Sarah.
"Oh, my God, Dad…she's so adorable!" Mark said excitedly, stepping through the doorway. "I got to hold her! Can I hold my baby sister?"
Jake just stood there, still speechless but handed Sarah, who suddenly had a worried look on her face, over to Mark. While Mark was admiring his little sister Janet quickly joined Jake at his side, wrapping her arm around his waist. The contact seemed to snap Jake out of his stupor.
"Mark, what…how…?"
"Perhaps, I can answer that question."
"George?" Jake asked.
"It was my wedding present to you, Jake," George smiled. "The only one I could think of that you really wanted. So, I got permission from the President to give security clearance to your son and his wife."
"Yeah, George told me all about what you've been doing the past several years," Mark explained. "He even told me about the Quantum Mirror and about you, Janet. I know everything. I'm so happy for you Dad. And…I'm proud of all you've been doing. I know I don't say stuff like that…I'm not really that good at it when I'm talking to you."
"Sounds familiar," Sam said.
Janet turned to see her and Jack standing close by, hand in hand.
"George also said, you would explain to me about Selmak," Mark added. "Apparently, he's someone very important to the family?"
Sam let a giggle slip and Janet gave her a quick glare. Luckily Sarah started crying, reaching for Jake, and distracted everyone from Sam's outburst. Sarah even wailed 'daddy' as loud as she could for emphasis. Mark smiled, immediately placing Sarah back in Jake's arms where she instantly quieted down but clung onto her daddy tightly. Janet wasn't surprised at all by Sarah's crying. She wasn't accustomed to strangers holding her yet.
"Are you going to say anything, Dad?" Mark asked.
Jake didn't hesitate and pulled his son close with one arm.
"I'm so glad you're here, son," Jake said and Janet saw there were tears in his eyes. "What about Melissa, does she know?"
"Yes, George told us both the whole story at the same time," Mark smiled moving out of his father's embrace. "She and the kids will be up next weekend for the wedding, we all will be. I must say we were both…shocked and amazed by what you and Sam have been doing. We were even happy when George told us about Janet being back. I thought she was a nice lady…I mean she is a nice lady!"
"Don't worry, Mark. I used to be confused too!" Jack commented making everyone laugh.
"Where are my manners?" Janet asked. "Come in! Sit down! George, you too!"
"Janet…I have to apologize," Mark said as she ushered him and Jake into the living room. "Melissa and I…well we only met you…the other you a couple of times and the kids never met the other you so we didn't tell them that Janet had died. We didn't attend the funeral so we saw no need to tell them. So, telling them about you and dad was easy but…"
"What did you actually tell them?" Jake asked when Mark hesitated.
"Well, they know their grandpa's getting married to her…and…well…they're already calling her granny Janet," Mark smiled nervously.
Jake smiled and looked like he wanted to laugh hysterically. Sarah, on the other hand was a lot like her mother and never held back, suddenly burst into a good laugh making everyone in the room laugh, Janet included.
"You had better not laugh, Jake Carter," Janet warned with her bright smile. "Otherwise, there will be no more practicing!"
"Practicing what?" Mark asked.
"This," Jake said, then quickly planted a kiss on Janet's lips.
Only Janet didn't let him go. Hell, he didn't want her too! Besides, she was too happy to let the moment end, happy to be deeply in love with this man and his symbiote, happy for the new life ahead of her. And especially happy for the new life she carried within her.
"Mark, George, why don't we go into the kitchen," Janet heard Jack say after he cleared his throat. "We have cake and ice cream. Sam maybe you could…"
Janet felt Sarah being lifted from Jake's arms and Sam was cooing to her baby sister as she carried her away. Then Jake's arms wrapped around her but Janet could tell it was Selmak's touch while Jake was kissing her.
"Selmak…not below the deck when we have company!" Janet warned, while still kissing them.
"It wasn't me!" Selmak exclaimed, moving back, flashing this oh so innocent smile. Only Janet knew better!
"There's no fooling me, even when you try to imitate the way Jake grabs my behind!"
"But I…"
"Selmak…shut up!" Janet ordered then went back to kissing them.
After a very long moment, Jake managed to separate his lips from hers.
"Janet…I need to catch my breath!" Jake gasped.
"Sorry, I just got caught up in the moment," Janet smiled, snuggling against his chest.
"Don't be sorry…Selmak and I enjoyed it…very much!"
"I'm glad you both did."
"So, how do we tell Mark about me?" Selmak asked, stroking the back of Janet's head.
"We tell him the truth, that you're a symbiote who saved Jake from dying of cancer. And that the two of you have been gallivanting about the galaxy ever since!"
"And about Selmak being female?" Jake asked.
"That will be our little secret," Janet grinned, caressing Jake's face.
"Good, the less people who know the better!" Selmak sighed in relief. "I just hope Sam can keep it from Jack!"
Janet shot Selmak a look of mock surprise.
"That little giggle of hers, told me you two girls were up to more than just baby talk in that kitchen!"
"It just slipped out when I was tell Sam about the baby…I'm sorry," Janet laughed. "It's your entire fault! You were the one that let me get pregnant!"
"Well, neither you nor Jake were complaining at the time!"
"That's because we had no idea what you were up to!"
Selmak just gave her a devilish grin.
"Still, I hope Sam can keep it quiet. Both Jake and I couldn't live through such humiliation from Jack!"
"Both of you?
"Yes, Jake would hear it from Jack and I would have to hear it from Jake! I hate it when Jake complains…gives me a headache!"
"But in the end, it's always my head that hurts!" Jake whined making Janet laugh uncontrollably.
Jake just started longingly at her for a moment until she stopped laughing. He didn't say anything as his fingers caressed her cheek. A warm, loving smiled shined on his face when he exhaled slowly.
"What?" Janet asked.
"Have we said how much we love you today?"
"You say it every time you look at me," she smiled, caressing his face. "I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it in your touch. I love both of you, too."