Author's Notes: Okay, this is gonna seem crazy (then again, I love minor characters) but this will be a collection of stories chronicling the life and times of Gozu and Mezu.
Now for those having trouble remembering who Gozu and Mezu are- they're the guardians of the gateway introduced in episode 145. Yes, the two big stone guys guarding the gateway- that's them :)
Anyways, Gozu is the one with his hair pulled up in a bun and Mezu is the one with the ponytail if you want to get more specific about who's who.
These are all written as part of the livejournal community iy(underscore)no(underscore)kakera, which is a 100 theme drabble/ficlet community.
Anyways, here we go:
Title: Gozu, Mezu and the Banquet of Gods
Theme: Set #1, Theme #1- Beginning
Summary: The world began in the strangest of ways…
Author's Notes for this chapter: This is all based on information I found out about the 12 Deva Guardians of Esoteric Buddhism, in which- Gozu and Mezu are part of one of the classes of demons according to mythology. Suijin in this is the same as the water goddess from episode 27.
Back in the beginning, when the world formed and the heavens were laid into the skies- the great Bonten- deva of the heavens, threw a banquet for all the gods.
Since he was the one who created things, he decided to give the other gods jobs depending on how well they impressed him.
First came Bonten's close friend, Taishakuten, who showed off with his amazing strength, social skills and pet elephant and got himself the job of governing the other gods. So for all his ego, he now had to deal with keeping the other gods' egos in check.
Then came the four kings.
Bishamonten of the north came in carrying a pagoda on his back. Seeing this amazing feat, he was given the job of protecting the treasure inside it and distributing it to those he felt was worthy. Needless to say, he was offered more sexual favors than the rest of them.
Jikokuten of the east came in with an army of musicians and vampire demons. On seeing how well Jikokuten managed to keep those two strange types of minions in line (it was simple really, the vampire demons really loved classical music) he was given the position Guardian of the Nations. Although when it all came down to it, it was one of those useless titles that means you get to go golfing all the time when you're supposed to be at meetings.
Koumokuten of the west came in with a brush and scroll. His wide-eye nature only enhanced by his geeky glasses thick with prescription. After laughing at the pocket-protector on his armor, he was assigned the job of discerning and punishing evil and to give people aspirations for enlightenment. Those wondering why the Asian people come up with so many creative technical ideas can blame Koumokuten for wanting to have the first computer.
Zouchoten of the south was the last of the kings. The buffet table braced itself for his companions, the hungry ghosts and the spirit-sucking demons, but the most Zouchoten had going for him was a bad pick-up line, "Hey baby, did you know my name means one who expands and enlarges?" This gave him the job of increasing wisdom (to prevent such stupidity) and moderation (remember kiddies, the gods wear condoms too!)
After the kings came the elements.
Katen, the fire deva, was given the job of carrying messages to the gods. He took the job only after having permission slips signed saying no one would sue him for carbon monoxide poisoning.
Futen, the wind deva, was so full of hot air that no one was all that impressed. Hoping to appease him, they gave him a scepter of the wind and told him to hold it up. He's still standing there holding it to today.
Jiten, the earth deva, was Bonten's earth-bound twin brother. So of course, due to bitter sibling rivals, they merely bickered leaving Jiten without much of a job.
Nitten and Gatten, sun and moon deva, were also twins. Nitten managed to catch Bonten's eye and got the job of Sun King and protector. Gatten, on the other hand, picked door number three instead of one, and got stuck with nothing more than a goose and a rabbit.
Suijin, the water deva, was a beautiful young woman who found herself at the attention of all the male gods. Due to this, she was always getting phone numbers and new titles slipped into her hand.
"Hey babe, you can be lord of the Sun gods if you have coffee with me tomorrow night."
"Did heaven lose a tennyo, because you sure look like one! Anyways, you can take over my job of being god of rivers and lakes if you'll go out with me."
She used her looks to reel in every offer. Well, most of them…
"Suijin, sweetheart- did you know my name means…."
"Zouchoten. We know."
Last came Enma, which such an entourage demons that he easily won over the title of Lord of the Underworld.
It was amongst that entourage that many strange demons, yaksha and rasetsu came to the party.
There were the ten cannibal demon women, the raksa who ate the flesh of the dead, and the beasts of hell.
They read like a freak show lineup, and each group was given guardianship titles over villages, forests and towns.
That is all except for the two beasts of hell.
The party had started almost two hours before the two showed up. (They'd gotten lost, and refused to ask for directions. Typical stone-men).
Their names were Gozu Rasetsu and Mezu Rasetsu (no relation) and they were as stubborn as the cow and horse head masks they wore.
"Are you certain that this was a costume party?" Mezu questioned again, pushing his ponytail out of his face.
"Eh, we can always ditch the masks if its not."
"Are you sure we should still go? It started hours ago."
"Hey, there still might be some titles left for us," Gozu said cheerfully as he adjusted the strap of the mask behind his bun.
"Like what? Guardians of the Toilet?"
"Come on Mezu, they won't give us something that bad!"
Mezu frowned, he had a sinking feeling that this wasn't such a good idea.
The next day, Gozu and Mezu arrived at their new guardianship home.
"Great. Just great. I told you that we'd get a shitty job!"
Gozu sighed, he really couldn't argue with Mezu anymore.
"Okay okay, I get your point. We should have just stayed home."
"Yes, but because of you and your great idea we are now stuck as the Guardians to the gates of hell! Like anyone in their right mind will come here!"
Looking about the drab cave and the pedestals they were soon to be standing on, Gozu rubbed at his forehead.
"I don't think anything good came of going to that party. All I did was get a hangover and get stuck guarding the one place no one ever visits and lives to tell about."
"Well…I guess it wasn't all that bad…" Mezu remarked as he hung a "Cave Sweet Cave" sign from a stalactite.
"What do you mean it isn't that bad?" Gozu shot back.
Mezu smirked and held up a piece of paper.
"I got Suijin's phone number."