The rain poured down upon me as I lay huddled behind a cold stone building. It's solid and harsh texture felt painful on my back but it was a good shield to the torrential rain. This situation seemed only fitting to me. I deserve nothing better, or so I told myself. If I were to die no one would miss me and in my opinion being loved was the only thing worth living for. So if I die here, so be it! Lighting flared as thunder shook the ground violently. The downfall began to intensify as tears grew in my eyes. I cursed under my breath. I had to not feel sorry for myself…If I did, I feared I would seek a better way of living and what I might have to do to get to that position scared me to the point of agony. I was helpless…a broken sort of creature…awaiting her demise.

I knew in my heart that I was too young to give up on life, but it was all I could think to do in my distress. The thoughts and memories of my warm, cozy home and my parents seeped back into my memory. I tried to prevent them and the torture they brought with them, but I failed miserably. Their smiling faces across from the dinner table as we entertained possible suitors and their families, their loving embrace, us all huddled around the fireplace all bled into my mind. The tears that fell down my cheeks cascaded into long withheld sobs. Oh how I missed them!

Damnable! Ignorant! Disgraceful! How dare I think of them in such a way? Their fate was sealed by my hand! How could I even be so selfish as to miss them when I caused their death? Me and my stupid love…!

A man passed, silently looking at me with eager eyes. I cast my gaze to the ground. As much as I despised the rain, it kept me safe from wondering lonely men. On a sunny day, I might not have been so lucky as to have been left alone. But as soon as that thought had entered my mind, I took it back as a man approached me slowly. I kept my eyes slightly downcast but raised my gaze toward his face. He was eyeing me hungrily and without mercy.

He spoke softly. "Are you soliciting?"

"NO! Please…leave me be…" My voice betrayed me by sounding so desperately weak. He was on me in a flash. I screamed out but the cry died in my throat as he picked me up and carried me around the corner of the building and down a corridor. We were suddenly surrounded by horses in their stables which I hadn't even known existed. I had no time to ponder what building I had been taking advantage of because he was already beginning to undress me. I screamed and was startled by the sound of my own voice. He quickly covered my mouth with a bone crushing grip. It was not necessary for him to use that much force, but I knew that the gesture was also meant to show me that he was in control and there would be no escaping. I began to cry once again, this time my tears were shed in shame. I had brought this upon myself as well.

He had just finished unlatching my corset when he was thrown from me with tremendous force. My bearings returned quickly and I re-latched my corset and pulled my chemise back over my head with great speed. When I returned my attention to my assaulter, the man was huddled in the opposite corner of the stable staring at me. He stood hastily and kept his eyes on me as he backed toward the entrance corridor. I was confused beyond all reason. I thought for a moment that he was merely tricking me and waited in silence for his return. But he didn't come back. I sighed with relief. But HOW had that happened? I thought for a moment that the angels of my parents had saved me, but then quickly cursed myself for even entertaining such an idea.

It was then that I felt a presence behind me. I turned and searched the shadows, my heart beginning to race. I was just about to dismiss my anxiety as craziness when a figure emerged into the small light that was produced by a group of lowly lit lanterns I had recently realized were there. I withheld a cry as his silhouette became a real man. I felt my world darken and my knees give out from underneath me. The only image that remained in my mind as the darkness of unconsciousness consumed me was the ivory white mask that covered the right half of his face.