Fallen Comrade, Finding Hope, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

Spur of the moment. I apologize for the crappyness and fluffies. Hehe. Forgive me. Lol

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters or anything. So yea.

A shadowy figure, sitting on a bed, held onto a sharp gleaming blade. Roy Mustang, the famous Flame Alchemist, wanted to die. It was an early Sunday morning, two years ago today, when he had received the call that would change him for the rest of his life.

"Maes…"

His best friend, Comrade, and… love… for so long, was now gone… forever. And there was nothing he could ever do to change it. His life had been a fuddled mess since then and he regretted almost every minute of it. He had finally had enough. He took a deep breath and fought back the tears fighting to be let free. His heart was smashed into a million pieces, and he felt like his body was too.

He gripped the shining blade in his hand and prayed to whatever higher power there may be. He asked… that if he were to end it all… if he were to end his suffering, would he see Maes again? Would Maes love him?

He stared at his dark room and was reminded of all the times he and Hughes had spent time there. He stared at the clock and remembered how many times he held onto Hughes, begging him not to leave him.

"Gracia is waiting…"

He'd say and Roy would be reminded that his lover was now someone else's.

"You know I have to go to her…"

He'd say and Roy would be reminded that Hughes didn't care about him.

Roy crumbled and finally let the tears go forward in a few giant sobs, feeling a bit relieved to feel something warm. He was afraid he had gone numb, terribly numb and stiff and cold. But no, he could feel the tears he could feel the fire inside him that was begging to be put out.

He shivered and gripped the knife even tighter. The only thing he was afraid of, other than loosing Maes, was death.

Suddenly, the phone rang. He growled at the awful sound that went through his ears.

Ring…

He fought with himself whether he should pick it up or not. He finally decided he would ignore it, and the ringing stopped. He sighed and shivered as the tears fell down his face. He then knelt on the ground by his window, to stare at the glowing moon. The moon that he knew Maes could see, from where ever he was right then.

He slowly pulled the blade up to his chin and pointed it toward his chest. He would make it quick and clean. He would slice out his heart. He would destroy the source of his pain.

He then heard a very familiar voice calling out to him, screaming at him to open his door.

"You stupid Useless jerk! Open this door right now or I'll kick the damn thing in…"

Roy completely ignored the yelling and pulled the blade up a bit higher. He closed his eyes and thought of Maes. As he was about to thrust it into his chest he felt something grab his hand and hit him in the face. Everything went blank.

When he awoke, a familiar smell assaulted his nostrils. Oil and flowers. He slowly opened his eyes to see two angry golden ones staring right back at him. He then felt a sharp pain in his mouth and winced.

"I'm sorry; I had to hit you…" Ed explained.

Roy then attempted to sit up, but Ed pushed him back down.

"You keep your ass in that bed and tell me what the hell you were thinking!"

Roy remained silent.

Ed grabbed Roy by the shirt collar and pulled him up to his face.

"Answer me when I'm talking to you!" Ed yelled.

Roy closed his eyes.

"Go away, I don't feel like talking…" Roy mumbled.

Ed, filled with anger, pulled his hand back to hit him again, but he stopped half-way and sighed.

"You're a true idiot…"

Ed let Roy go and sighed.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

Roy rolled over and pulled the blanket over his head. He smelled the clean sheets and was relieved that he was home and not on some distant battle field. Especially not in Ishbal.

"Did you hear me?" Ed asked.

Roy ignored him.

"I SAID DID YOU HEAR ME?" Ed repeated, angrily.

"Yes, I heard you, Full Metal…" Roy said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Then answer my question…" Ed growled.

Roy sighed and whispered,

"Maes…"

Ed scratched his head as the millions of possibilities flowed into it.

"Look, I know you and Hughes were close, but…" He paused.

"Do you think he would want you to do this?"

No answer.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, I'm listening." Roy replied, sleepily and sadly.

Ed flipped Roy over and pulled him up to his face once more.

"Why would you do such a thing?"

No answer.

Ed, being terribly frustrated, repeated his question and shook the Colonel.

Roy looked away.

"I was…" He whispered.

"In love with him…"

Ed gasped.

"But he was married… and he had Alicia… and… and…"

"This goes back before the two of them." Roy said with a hint of annoyance.

Ed smacked his head and let Roy lay back down.

Ed's eyes went large and he felt a stinging pain burn right through him.

"In love?" Ed repeated as if he didn't believe it. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it.

"Yes…" Roy answered back.

"I just…" He began.

"I thought… that if I went where they couldn't follow…"

Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes and he shivered.

"I thought he might love me again…"

Ed felt tears well in his eyes as well, but he fought them back.

"Well," Ed began, trying to pretend to be strong.

"He was completely devoted to his wife and his daughter. And killing yourself isn't going to change that…"

Roy sighed and wiped away his tears.

"I guess…"

He paused.

"I guess I always somehow knew that…"

Ed sighed.

"Then… why?"

Roy rolled over and hid his head once more.

"I just…"

He paused.

"I don't think I could ever live with being…"

He stopped and started laughing nervously.

"Why am I telling you this? You probably don't want to hear it…"

Ed lightly punched him in the stomach and said with a smile,

"Tell me anything and everything. I'm here for you."

Roy laughed.

"This certainly doesn't sound like you…"

Ed growled.

"Bite me."

Roy took a minute to stare at his "rescuer" and was surprised to find he was shaking.

"How did you know?" Roy finally asked after a while.

Ed growled,

"When you wouldn't pick up your stupid phone… even when it wakes you up, you still answer it…I knew something must have been up…"

Roy laughed.

"You've been watching me and worrying about me for a while…"

"Well, you're not exactly the most stable of persons…" Ed explained.

"And why are you concerned with the life of your stupid "Colonel Useless?" Roy asked, with a grin.

"Hey!" Ed growled.

"You're not the one who's supposed to be asking the questions here, I am."

Roy laughed.

"Whatever you say…"

Ed pouted.

"So why the hell would you consider that if you knew it wouldn't change anything?"

Roy sighed.

"I was…"

He paused.

"It may surprise you… but I was…" He bit his lip.

"I was… afraid."

Ed sighed and stared at the Colonel with understanding eyes.

"Afraid of what?" Ed asked.

Roy sighed and pulled the covers up below his eyes and said,

"Of being alone."

Ed smiled.

"Well, then."

He smirked and rubbed his chin as he said,

"I can help you there…"

Roy stared at Ed and raised an eyebrow.

"No you can't…"

Ed laughed.

"Of course I can…"

He then took off his shoes and laid down on the bed next to Roy. He smiled, stared at the perplexed Colonel and declared,

"You don't have to be afraid of being alone."

He paused.

"Cause I'm here, now!"

Silence.

"Unless of course…" Ed paused.

"You don't want that..."

Roy smiled. He felt a bit, relieved. He was still sad about loosing Maes, but this new development had him intrigued.

Roy smiled and said,

"Thank you."

Ed grinned happily and whispered,

"You're welcome Colonel Useless."

Roy laughed.

"At least I'm not a bean…"

Aww.. so cute.. fluffly.. fluffly.. REVIEW, REVIEW!