Upload Date: April 9, 2005
Disclaimer: Nope, nope, don't own anything! Tenchu never will belong to me sadly. If I did, Rikimaru and Ayame would be together and happy and…well, I won't go into detail…cough
Author's Note: Haha hope you like this guys. Some minor spoilers etc. Hope it's funny…it's my first attempt at something leaning towards humor. The characters may be acting a bit weird, but that just adds to the whole humor thing. Oh yeah and this is a one shot only, and it's pretty short. Enjoy! Rated for language and other crap like that. Forgive any errors that I might have had…I was tired when I finished writing this.
Crammed like sardines in the large game room of Tenrai's basement were Tenrai, Ayame, Rikimaru, Tatsumaru, Onikage, Kagura, Dr. Kimaira, Tesshu, Ganda, Tajima, Lord Gohda, Princess Kiku, and Counsel Sekiya. It was their first game night in a quite a long time, and they were all crowded around the big screen TV, mesmerized by their 3D models on the screen.
"Oh there I am, there I am!" Princess Kiku squealed, her eyes locked onto the screen. "Isn't that kimono I'm wearing beautiful? Thank heavens the designers got the little designs on it right!"
"Yes it's beautiful Kiku," Ayame said distractedly, trying to lean away from Tenrai and company who were trying to snatch the controller away from her. "Get AWAY before I rin-pyo-tou-sha-kai-jin-retsu-zai-zen your sorry asses!" she growled as Dr. Kimaira was using Maihime to lean over and use its mechanical arms to swipe the controller away from her. Ayame almost toppled off the couch she was sitting on with Kiku.
"Allow me," Tatsumaru said, suddenly walking over and snatching it away from Ayame. She screeched and attempted to get it back, then calmed down, knowing her efforts would just be futile. She sat on the couch and just tried to shove everyone else off of her.
"HEY that's ME you're killing right there!" Onikage said, watching as his ass was basically being handed over to him by Ayame on the screen with Tatsumaru pressing the square button repeatedly. He gave a triumphant "hmph" as he watched that he was resurrected again. "Take that you Azuma!"
"Relax Onikage, it's just a game-WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?" Kagura screeched as she saw that Tatsumaru started to go bomb-happy on the Kagura onscreen. "That's my best outfit, you can't do that!"
"That's your ONLY outfit stupid," Ayame said, holding the controller up in the air triumphantly. She gave a malicious grin as she used an exploding arrow, sending Kagura through the air in the game. Kagura grabbed a pillow on her couch and threw it towards Ayame, giving another squeal as she watched Ayame dodge it, unfazed.
"Violence is NOT the answer!" Tenrai said, his voice booming against the basement walls. It was quiet for a moment as everyone stared at him. Then, the whole room started vibrating with their insane laughter.
"I don't think I've heard anything more hypocritical!" Lord Gohda said.
"SUREEE it isn't…but in the game it is so just shut up!"
"That is SUCH a joke…"
"Man, I gotta go pee, where's the bathroom here Tenrai?"
"Up the stairs and to the left, and DON'T forget to flush damn it!" Tenrai told Tajima.
The controller found it's way across the room and into Onikage's hands.
"Haha, FINALLY I have killed the great Rikimaru!" he announced gleefully, looking at the game over screen. He had just made Rikimaru run right into a pit to where there was no return.
"Yeah…by tossing me in a pit! That's something to be SO proud of isn't it?" Rikimaru retorted, looking around for the controller with which to bean Onikage with.
"Hey I can't hear guys! I want to see the ending!" Princess Kiku said, shushing everyone.
"Oh please, not now, not the mushy ending crap. MORE VIOLENCE!" Dr. Kimaira hissed.
"More violence!" rang through the basement. Counsel Sekiya rolled his eyes.
"Actually, hurry up and get it to the end. That's where I am!" Tatsumaru said, sitting forward in his recliner.
"No! Take it to Amagai Castle!"
"Limestone Caverns!"
"Buddha Temple!" Ganda chimed in, shaking his mighty fist in the air.
"Bamboo Forest!" Tajima said upon entering the basement.
"How about you turn it off and put it back to the main screen, then select my missions?" Tesshu yelled over the noise.
"Ronin village! You know you want to!"
"Gohda Castle has some nice scenery…not to mention the gardens are quite well arranged."
Kiku got up and snatched the controller right from Onikage's hands. "You guys have already had too much violence for one night!" and she proceeded to battle her way through Tenrai fortress. That managed to make everyone else quiet, staring at the screen.
"Ah of course…it always has to be ME who does the honorable thing and gets killed off huh?" Tatsumaru said as he watched his 3D model on the screen getting killed. Tenrai fought to keep quiet as he watched himself get killed by the Azuma. They watched in silence as the ending started for Ayame.
"Aww how sweet! Ayame why didn't you take Rikimaru's hand? You know you wanted to…" Kiku said tauntingly at Ayame.
"Don't look at me, the developers wanted me to act like that!" Ayame protested. Rikimaru came over and sat by her, placing his arm around her shoulders.
"Would you have taken my hand though, given the choice?" he asked her, hugging her close.
"Maybe…" she said provocatively, leaning her body into him.
"Oh please…save the rated X stuff when you're alone, for all our sakes!" Kagura said, disgusted. But it was too late; the two were already caught up in an intense lip lock.
"So THAT'S what you two have been doing when you're offscreen huh? Thank heavens they don't put this in the game!" Onikage said, averting his gaze. Rikimaru and Ayame were still busy with each other, not caring that everyone had started to fidget uncomfortably in their couches and recliners.
Kiku squealed. "How cute…!"
"How disgusting…" everyone else chorused.
"I'm glad I'm not your Lords in real life!" Lord Gohda said, shaking his head though there was a smile on his face, "I don't know what I would have done!"
"And to think she used to like me…" Tatsumaru said, studying the couple. Ayame broke away briefly and looked over at him.
"That was just a crush stupid! And don't you dare bring that up-" Rikimaru silenced her and they continued their business.
Everyone just sighed and ignored the two and instead turned their attention back to the screen, where Kiku was busy working towards the ending for Rikimaru.
"Can't I at least be the winner for this round?" Tenrai said, watching the final fight.
"Nope. That's the downside of being a villain, if you haven't noticed yet." Kimaira said, doing some quick repairs on Maihime while waiting for his turn with the controller. "When you're done, let me have it!"
"No way! It's my turn, I haven't played yet!" Tesshu said angrily.
"Well neither have I!" Kagura hissed.
"You guys are such a bunch of babies!" Kiku said, tossing aside the controller, watching the credits roll. "There, fight for it!" and immediately there was a pile where the controller used to be. Lord Gohda, Counsel Sekiya stood up.
"Come on Kiku, it's time to go," he said, gesturing for his daughter to come to him. "Great…uhh…party Tenrai…" Lord Gohda said to him as they passed on their way out the door.
Rikimaru and Ayame stood as well. "Yeah, we better get going too. Don't want to be late in getting home," Rikimaru said, "Semimaru might be having a fit."
"Yeah, great game night Tenrai!" Ayame said, discreetly trying to fix her shirt.
"You mean, you don't want to be late to bed?" Tenrai called to the embarrassed couple, stressing the word "bed". They quickly made their way out the door.
"I've gotta go as well, Kagami's waiting for me. Sorry she couldn't come, what with the house and all." Tatsumaru called out as he walked out the door.
"Well, I guess it's just us then," Tenrai called out.
"Actually, I've got to go as well," Ganda said, briefly thanking Tenrai before ducking out the door due to his massive size. One by one they filed out, giving their thanks and leaving quickly before Tenrai had a chance to call them back and ask them to help him clean up. Tenrai sighed and made his way back to the main couch, brushing popcorn off the cushions. He picked up the controller and chose Tenrai fortress.
"Well, there's nothing else to do so I guess I'll just have my 5 minutes of fame by killing each of the Azumas…muahahahaha!" Tenrai said to himself, making his voice as menacing as possible. "This game is the greatest!"
Author's Note (April 9, 2005):
Lol I've been working on this for a while now, but school and my other stories kept delaying me from finishing it. I finally had a chance to sit and do it though so YAY for me! Hope this was funny at least for some of you…I enjoyed writing it at least! Hope the ending wasn't too corny or anything…I finished writing this late at night so it kinda seems weird. Sayonara for now!