Title: Un Amor Tan Grande

Author: Rebecca

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, they're actually bigger odds than she expected.

Author's Note: The next chapter.

xxx

Chapter 21: Running in Circles

xxx

"I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry,

But it always comes out wrong.

I think a part of you still loves me,

Even though we're moving on.

Always, all ways I wanted us to be,

Always, all ways you and me."

'Always, All Ways (Apologies, Glances and Messed Up Chances)' – LostProphets

xxx

"Let me spend the rest of my life making this up to you, Mac. Can't we try and move past this? Please?"

"What's the point, Harm?"

"We can work through this, Sarah. I've been an idiot, and a jerk, and an asshole…I don't want to be that anymore. I want to be the kind of man that deserves a beautiful woman like you. Now that you're right here, near me…I will not let you go again. Not without the fight of my life. I love you too much. You are the love of my life Sarah MacKenzie. Can you just, think about it? Please? Meet me at the diner tomorrow. We can talk through all of this pain and come out on the other side. Let me make this up to you. Please."

Mac sighed as she swiped at her tears with the back of her hands. Her heart was torn in two, the pieces pulling her in opposite directions. One half was telling her that their relationship had been tortured beyond belief, and that it's time to let go. And the other half was pleading with her to give their relationship another go. She's carrying his child and she owed it to her baby to try and work out her relationship with its father.

Mac swallowed hard and whispered her answer. "Okay."

xxx

Mac's thoughts zoomed in and out of her head throughout the walk home. As soon as she turned her attention to one thought, another ten would zoom in and try and take its place. She tried to find a solution, a way to mend the bridge between Harm and herself. But nothing seemed like it would work. She just wasn't sure that giving it another go would be the right thing to do.

Try as she might, Mac couldn't convince herself to have another shot at a relationship with Harm. But she also could not convince herself to let him go. She was stuck. She had no idea what she was going to do. Time seemed to be going too fast, and before she knew it she was home, had had a shower, and was in bed. Her thoughts never ceased.

Round and round and round and round again.

'Give him another go. He'll only hurt you again. You're having his child. This baby would be better off with one stable parent than with two parents who will never be able to make it work. Do you really think that? Yes. Really?'

Mac groaned loudly and buried her face in her pillow. She still couldn't believe it. She had spent every waking moment praying and hoping that she would see Harm again. Slowly, she had managed to build herself back up, and while she's only half of who she used to be, she was finally ready to take on life. Just her and her child. Without Harm. And that's when fate decides to deliver him to her. That bitch.

xxx

He itched. He itched to run to her and make her see how terribly wrong it would be to not given them one final go. But he knew that if he scratched that itch, he would lose any chance he had to win her back. And that was unacceptable.

He had looked right into her eyes. He saw the pain. The pain he had inflicted. The pain made his heart ache in regret. Walking out had been the most screwed up thing he had ever done in his life, which is saying a lot considering his life was one major screw up after another. He knew that he didn't deserve another chance with her. Even a saint would have a hard time putting their faith in him after all he had done. But he had had a taste of what life was without her, and he didn't want to go back to that again.

He was ready to do anything she asked. He would transfer out to San Diego, even if that meant a demotion. Hell, screw the demotion, he's give up the Navy if need be. All she had to do was say the word. Giving Mac so much power scared him. But he knew that it was the only way that she would forgive him.

He wanted it all with her. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to live in a beautiful house with the white picket fence. He wanted children with her. IVF. Surrogacy. Adoption. He wanted to parent with her, by any means possible. He wanted to be able to go to bed at night, with her wrapped in his arms, his face in her hair, his nose smelling her sweet scent. Everything.

He spent the night tossing and turning, thinking of ways that he could convince her that he would do his upmost to never hurt her again, only falling asleep once he could not hold his exhaustion at bay. In his dreams he saw himself cuddling with Mac on a cold winters day, watching a little girl with his looks and Sarah's brains playing on the floor.

xxx

Another chapter down. Review me baby. Let me know if there's anything you would like them to discuss in their final conversation :) .