Yo-Yo

Chapter 1: Never knows best

By: ChaoticSpecter

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon.

A/N: This fic contains Shonen Ai. If you are uncomfortable with male/male relationships, please hit the back button on your browser. Those of you that remain, enjoy.

Three months. Hardly a significant amount of time in the grand scheme of things, barely a second when compared to the vastness of time, the blink of an eye--And yet so much can happen in this tiny sliver of a window in time. Three months and one of my friendships has been irreversibly altered. One of my best friends has gone from merely being a friend to being more, something more than a friend and yet not really a lover. Something ultimately more complicated and thus guaranteed to fuck with my mind for the entire duration of this little…arrangement. Especially since I don't know what the fuck my friend is thinking. I couldn't tell you why this happened or when it started, all I could tell you is that this development has left me more confused than anything I have ever felt up until this point in my life.

The night everything changed, things seemed innocent, well they did at the time, but as they say hindsight is 20/20. Yamato approached me in his usual manner, all suave and sophisticated, as always, only things were a little different. And if only I had been paying more attention none of this would have happened. I mean, it was only obvious, the way he stood closer to me than necessary, the way he kept touching me, caressing every inch of skin he could reach. He was all smiles, and not his standard suave smile; this one was mysterious, sensual.

Hell, he was flirting with me and I didn't even realize it. Now I understand why everyone is always saying I'm blind to the interest people have in me, that I'm always ignoring appreciative stares and all that other shit. Anyway, I was oblivious to his flirting, just thinking that Yamato was feeling friendlier than usual, and he was… just not in the way I was thinking. Long story short, I ended up in bed with Yamato that night, I still don't know how that happened. I slept with my best friend that night and I don't know how to feel about that, I also don't know how to feel about the fact that we have been sleeping together almost every time an opportunity presents itself since then either.

I remember asking Yamato why he slept with me shortly after all of this began and he just said, "Because I felt like it"--That is so fucking typical of Yamato. But none of that is what I consider to be the worst of it. The worst and most confusing part of all of this is that he always acts as if nothing has happened, and yet as soon as someone's back is turned he's dragging me off somewhere. No one knows that this is going on, Yamato has yet to say anything to anyone and I don't think that he intends to--if he wanted them to know he would have said something by now. And I haven't told anyone because I don't know what to think about any of this.

Sometimes I'm angry or sad, but most of the time I'm just confused. I mean, how are you supposed to feel when your best friend continually uses and discards you? But more confusing than that is the fact that I am letting him. I don't even know why I let any of this happen. It should be so easy to say 'no', but I can't. I can't deny Yamato and this fact alone has caused me to lose sleep on more than one occasion. All Yamato has to do is tell me what he wants and I do it, no questions asked. I'm his fucking lap dog. Takeru has said so on more than one occasion, he was joking when he said it, but it's true. For some reason I'm a slave to Yamato's every whim and I can't keep myself from obeying. Maybe that's how we got into this situation in the first place, if only I had said no, then again Yamato really didn't give me any choice in the matter.

xxxxxx

"Tai-chan." Yamato whispered into my ear while his fingers tickled me into consciousness. "Tai-chan, wake up."

"What do you want, Yamato?" I asked blearily.

"We have school in a couple of hours," he said while slowly brushing his lips against my own.

"Then why are you waking me up now?" We had a whole hour left to sleep and I didn't intend to waste it.

"Because this is the last time I'll be seeing you," he said placing a chaste kiss upon my lips and smiling.

"What?"

"I'm going to be out of town, I'll be back next week remember?" I nodded. "I want to spend some time with you before I go." He kissed me again and started dragging his fingers through my hair. Yamato held me until it was time for us to get ready for school. It was times like this that made me want to wonder what it would be like if things between Yama and me were real. But I knew such thoughts were dangerous--Yamato would always do something to hurt me, it was better not to wish for more.

With Yamato gone, I had a lot of time on my hands. I no longer had to worry about rushing through my homework before Yamato could distract me or rush off after practice so that I could meet Yamato somewhere. It wasn't until he was gone that I realized just how much Yamato's role in my life had grown. I was used to waking up in his arms and going to sleep in them at night most days of the week. So many intimate things I had grown used to. God, I miss him so much and he's only been gone two days. I'm in way over my head. I don't know what to do.

"Taichi," Sora's voice broke into my thoughts and I turned away from the window I had been staring out of.

"Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," I answered wondering what prompted the question.

"I know you miss him," she said staring at me intently.

"What?" I asked, shocked. Could she know about me and Yamato? Did Yama tell her?

"I know you miss, Yamato, but you should cheer up. He'll be back in a few days and you can hang out with your best friend again. But for now, you're just going to have to put up with the rest of us by yourself," she then grabbed my sleeve and dragged me toward the rest of the group.

I spent the rest of the week being smothered by everyone during daylight hours and being horribly depressed in my room by myself under the cover of night. The night Yamato came back in town I was so exhausted that I didn't even bother to go see him, which was funny because at the beginning of the week all I wanted was to have him back. I pretty much stayed in my room after school that day doing homework and staring at the walls in yet another attempt to think things through. I learned a few things in the time Yamato was gone. The first being that I actually liked my literature class now that I was doing the work and I wasn't half bad in all my other classes either, I just needed to stop spacing out. My teachers were all surprised at my attentiveness this past week. Another thing is that I do get quite a number of appreciative stares, not all coming from females either. God, the things you find out when you pay attention. And the last thing I learned this week is that my friends find my paying attention to anything for more than five minutes extremely unsettling. This piece of information could be used to my advantage at a future date.

Despite all the progress I've made in other areas, I'm still at a loss as to what to do about Yamato. However, I have figured out that I have been attracted to Yama for a while now. So, not only do I not pay attention to the people attracted to me, I don't pay attention when I'm attracted to other people. An endearing personality trait I'm sure. I really need to start paying better attention to my surroundings. I was startled out of my reverie by the knocking on my room door. I opened it and came face to face with none other than Yamato.

"I suppose you thought I'd be amused when you didn't show up with the others when they came to see me," he started conversationally. "Or that I'd find it funny when you didn't answer any of my phone calls," he paused for a second before continuing. "Do you see me laughing, Taichi?" he deadpanned. I shook my head 'no'. "Then I suppose it is safe to assume that I. Am. Not. Amused." He then pushed me into my room and locked the door behind us.

"Who let you in?" was the only thing I could think to ask in my shocked state. Damn it. I wasn't ready to see him yet. He held up the spare key I had given him in answer. I regret ever having given him the damn thing.

"Tell me, Tai-chan," he said while slowly advancing upon me, "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you," I said while backing away from him in an attempt to keep some space between us.

"Then why did I have to track you down in order to see you?" he asked closing the space between us.

"I was tired, Yamato. I wanted to sleep."

"So you say," he said looking completely unconvinced. "Everyone's been telling me that you have been acting very out of character as of late. Why is that, baby?" he asked bringing a hand up to cup my cheek, his eyes peering intently into my own.

I slowly backed away from him before moving to sit on my bed. "I'm not acting any differently than I normally do," I said staring at the floor in an attempt to ignore the feeling of his eyes on me.

"Is that so?" he asked walking up to me and pushing me flat on the bed and straddling me. My breath hitched in my throat and he smiled. "I don't believe you."

I had to swallow several times before I could speak. "But that doesn't make it any less true."

He leaned closer, his lips hovering over mine and smirked. "You always were a horrible liar, Taichi," he whispered before capturing my lips with his own.

Yamato had returned and started the whole confusing cycle all over again. Before I held out hope that everything would go back to normal when he came back, that he would be tired of being with me in that way. But Yamato made it very clear to me that he had no intention of going back to the way things were. I don't know what to do.

To be continued……

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