A/N: All right. This is set before Twilight, before Haunted too probably. Anyway, I had a random burst of incentive to write something other than Reunion, (which I am working on) so here it is. I hope you like it. Its got some Shakespeare stuff in it, but it's hopefully not that hard to translate.

Disclaimer: Thanks to the wonderful Meg Cabot, Jesse and Suze are characters. However, I do not own them. They, as well as all the mediator stuff, are hers. William Shakespeare owns the shakespeare bitts.

Romeo and Juliet, Mediator Style

How, I thought as I plopped down on my bed holding a copy of Romeo and Juliet, is anyone supposed to understand this? I mean, can anyone understand Shakespeare? Or am I just malfunctioning?

I groaned and attempted to translate the next few lines. To Shakespeare, I am sure this made sense. To me, it means: blah blah blah, blah blah blah.

I kid you not.

I squinted at the page as if it would bring extreme clarity.

Nope. Nothing happened.

I reached across the bed and picked up the phone. I quickly dialed Cee's number and listened anxiously for her voice.

"Hey this is Cee Cee."

"Do you get any of this?"

She sighed. "Suze, I tried to explain it to you. Remember? I spent half of English trying to explain it to you. And how can you not get it? Romeo and Juliet has to be one of the greatest romantic tragedies ever written."

Obviously, whoever came up with that little thesis hasn't heard of my life. And my lack of relationship with Jesse. That is a true tragedy.

She was still talking, "so just, I dunno, try again, okay? I've got to go, but I'll see you tomorrow."

And she hung up.

Great. Even one of my best friends has given up on me.

Even Dock gave up on me. What that happens, you know things are bad.

I stared at the page. Even though it was tecnically English, it seemed like a forign language.

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss," saying it out loud doesn't help either. I should know, I've tried many times.

But hey, try try again, right?

"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much," and that was all I got to say because the very tragedy who I wished would play Romeo to my Juliet (the dying part I could do without however…oh wait, he's dead anyway, hmm…what do you think of that Willy Shakespeare?) showed up and looked rather shocked.

"Susannah…are you reading…Shakespeare?" now he looked kind of excited. This was so, so sad.

"Unfortunately," I laid out on my bed, waving the hated copy up in the air.

He walked over and sat next to me, "how can you say that? He's one of the best authors…ever."

I sat up and stared. I blinked once. Twice.

"Please tell me, that you are joking."

He looked annoyed, "Querida, I am not joking. This is, how would you say it? Oh, yes, 'good stuff'."

"Maybe the version with Leonardo De Caprio."

He looked confused and I was like, oh, yah. He doesn't know who that is. Because he died a hundred and fifty years ago. I have to keep reminding myself of this little fact. Otherwise, well, I'd already fallen in love. What else could go wrong?

"Never mind. The point is, I can't even understand this. Here," I thrust the copy at him, "you try."

He sighed, "This, I believe is what you were reading," and he began, "If I profane with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss," suddenly, I could see what Juliet saw in Romeo. I had no idea what any of that meant, but in Jesse's voice, it didn't matter. Although I doubt Romeo was this good looking. I could get used to this…

"Here, you read the next part," he handed me back the book.

"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much," his brown eyes locked on mine, it was getting a little harder to concentrate, "which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."

I still had no idea what it meant, but Jesse seemed to know.

He took the book, "Have not saints lips and holy palmers too?" Oh. Wait, they were talking about lips? That must mean kissing. I know what's going on! Romeo loves Juliet! Go me!

He gave me the copy. I was kinda getting into this.

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer." He took the copy and I was actually starting to get the hang of this. Juliet was kind of in love with Romeo too. What was so tragic about this?

Oh. The death part.

This was kind of like us. Me and Jesse, I mean. Only I didn't kind of love him. I was completely head over heals in love with him. He just didn't love me back.

"Oh then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do! They pray. Grant thou, lest faith turn to despair," his brown eyes were impossible to read. Does he love me? I wish.

Hey, Romeo was tying to pull moves on Juliet. Does she accept? I hope so…

I read, "Saints do not move, though grant for prayer's sake," this could be a good thing. Romeo wants to kiss Juliet. Can we act that out too?

He read, in a whisper, "Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged."

And he kissed me.

You know what? Shakespeare's not so bad after all.

A/N: So, what'd you think? I know, much on the Shakespeare part. But I thought it made a cute one shot. Anyway, press the pretty purple button and review!