Disclaimer: I don't own this series. Poor me... (
Summary: I love her. He loves him. We hurt so bad because they love others. We need to heal eachother. Neji/Hina Sasu/Ita Neji/Sasu Shika/Ino Kiba/Saku Tenten/Lee and more. Incest, YAOI

"Incest is best! Incest is best!" he chants coldly. I cover her ears and kiss the top of her head, whispering to her that he's not worth it. He used to be my best friend, he was there for me when my dad died, and we had plenty of intimate times together. I glare at him. Asshole.

"Like you're one to talk, Uchiha, I seem to remember that one night…" he cuts me off with a slap to my face. I touch where he had hit me, feeling his poisonous touch on my face. That touch used to heal me.

"You are never to talk about that, you fucking little shit," he glares at me and I glare back.

"Neji-niisan, Uchiha-san. Please stop…" Hinata whispers. I am supposed to fulfill her request, but I can not. I ball my fists and punch him forcefully in the stomach.

"You used to be cool, Neji. You used to be worthy of me. But now you're just a little whore, a filthy tainted whore!" He screams at me. Tears are forming in his eyes. I know I'm the only one who recognizes them. Perhaps I did betray him, but he betrayed me as well. I don't care that he insults me. What annoys me is that he's being a hypocrite and hurting Hinata at the same time he insults me.

He swings a punch at me again. I let him hit me. Perhaps I deserve it. But he deserves being hit too. I kick him in the shin and push him to the floor, getting on top of him and twisting my elbow into his stomach. His tears are now very visible. Anyone else would think he was crying because I was hurting him. But I know. He looks up at me and says in a cold, almost hurt, voice,

"Is she worth more to you than I am?"

I can't answer. People are crowding around us. My group of friends, random passer byers. Girls and guys who have had crushes on me, crushes on Sasuke.

I raise my fist. He knows that he has asked a sensitive question and that my only answer would be a fist to his rib cage. But he is wrong. I get up and walk away, whispering just loud enough for him to hear it

"Yes."

And I know that hurt him more than any physical wound I could ever give him.

Several weeks previous
Hinata and I had all the same classes, I'm guessing from the influence of my uncle, who insists that I be with her always to make sure that she isn't hurt. He's been paranoid ever since some perverted math teacher by the name of Gashir molested her after class when she was eleven. Now she was fourteen, and I was fifteen. My favorite class was German, I liked the language and I found Rammstein a whole of a lot more interesting. When Hinata would have trouble, I'd give her one side of my head phones and we'd huddle close, listening to the music and I'd ask her what certain phrases were and I'd instruct her if she got it wrong. She seemed to like this method of learning, and I enjoyed helping her.

The high school we went to was an alternative one, with only about 260 kid's total. No one was particularly popular, but I definitely had to say that our group of friends, our clique, our posse, our crowd, was one of the cooler ones. We had a wide variety of kids in our clique, not like the Goth crowd, or the preppy people. Of course, there was my self and Hinata. Then there was Shikamaru and Ino and Chouji, whose fathers owned a furniture franchise together, Sakura who had been friends with Ino since second grade, Naruto who was an all around friendly guy, Lee who was ugly but fun to hang around and would help with anything he could. Sometimes he got on my nerves. Tenten had known Lee since they were little and it was obvious she liked him. Shino was interested in bugs and painted beautiful pictures of naked faeries that had neither and both sexes. Shino spent a lot of time with Kiba, who was this punk kid who wore a dog collar and snuck his puppy to school with him, his lip was pierced and he painted red stripes down his face and wore heavy eyeliner. He was currently dating Sakura, but Kiba liked Hinata and Sakura liked Sasuke. Sasuke and his brother Itachi are both VERY attractive people. Itachi and I had only about two things in common. We were mistaken for girls ALL the FREAKING time, and we would both do almost anything for Sasuke, because he was that important to us. After the Uchiha siblings there was Gaara and his siblings, though they only hung out with us at lunch, and took to their own company otherwise. Recently, this guy named Orochimaru has been hanging around with us just because he was friends with Itachi. Sasuke always seemed so uncomfortable around him.

I'll tell you right off, I'm bi. I've had plenty of intimate relations with guys, and I'm not shy about it. But I still like girls.

Well, a girl.

I realized it a while ago, and kept it to myself. I think she knew as well, but she didn't seem to mind. As little kids, Hinata and I spent so much time together and we'd seen each other naked during bath time and whenever we went on family trips we shared a bed. And whenever she got scared, she'd crawl into my bed and I'd hold her. I never realized that it was weird to have this kind of relationship with my cousin. I didn't realize it was weird that I was caressing her cheek as she slept, or that I would kiss her cheek and head and neck. She would kiss me too, and play with my hair and hug me tightly as we slept; her body curled so close to mine.

She never realized either. But she did know it was weird that her math teacher was unbuttoning her shirt, even though she was used to people, as in me, seeing her without one.

Hinata and I have never done "it", but what I didn't realize way back when is something I know now. I love her. But it can never be more than what it is. I realized that I loved her a few months ago, when I went on this date with some girl. She started playing with my hair and kissing my cheek, neck, forehead, and eventually my lips. I returned her kiss, but after about a minute, I moaned Hinata's name, I couldn't even begin to tell you how much I've wanted to kiss Hinata like this. However, his girl was not Hinata; she didn't even remind me of Hinata. I apologized and told her that maybe seeing her wasn't a good idea.

Anyways, there was a party that night at seven, held at the Uchiha estate. Sasuke's father was insane and convinced his mother that he would love her more if they were both dead. He shot himself, but right before hand he told her that he would wait for her. She shot herself soon afterwards. Creepy, creepy people. So, because of that, Sasuke lives in the care of his older brother. I think he's better off like that, personally, just because his parents were so… crazy.

Hinata and I left the house around five thirty, since I told Sasuke I'd get there early. She was wearing my large black sweatshirt that she'd had for over a year now and a new pair of jeans she had gotten on sale at the Bon. Underneath the sweatshirt she wore a pink tank top that showed cleavage when she bent over. Hanabi had bought for her as a birthday present. Hinata liked only wore the shirt inside unless she could cover it. The sleeves of her sweatshirt were rolled up, revealing black arm-warmers, covered by smaller pink ones that looked like gloves, and several bracelets. She wore a small amount of pink eye shadow and some flavored shiny lip gloss. I smiled and told her she looked beautiful. She smiled back, blushing, and I knew she had dressed up for someone. But I didn't know who. Or maybe I did and just didn't want to admit it to myself.

Sasuke asked if he could talk to me alone. I was reluctant to agree, seeing that only Itachi and Orochimaru would be there to keep Hinata company, but she said that it was probably important and that I should be there for my friend when he needed me.

"My brother is dating that freak out there! He's dating that fucking snake!" Sasuke told me in an urgent and whiney whisper, as if he were trying to suppress tears. I pulled him into a hug, unsure of what to say.

"Neji, Itachi and I have been through so much. Alone together, you know? We only ever needed each other... so why did he have to bring someone else into the already picture perfect picture?"

I shrugged, and comfortingly rubbed my hand up and down his back. He smiled weakly. "I just… I just… I suppose it's the narcissism in it all. I've only ever tried to be like him, so I guess I saw it coming… do you know what I mean…"

I did, because the same thing was happening to me. But he didn't need to know that, so I shook my head,

"I'm sorry Sasuke; I don't know what you're trying to say."

"You're going to think I'm so weird, and you're going to avoid me forever, but… but Neji, I'm in love with Itachi… I like it when he cares for me when I'm sick, or will call me in sick if he has a day off work so we can spend the day together. I love it when he ruffles my head and pokes me affectionately in the forehead. I like it when he makes me breakfast, or rents a video that he wouldn't even consider watching if he didn't know I wanted to see it, and I like it even better when he watches it with me… Sometimes he'll just sit there with me, rubbing my head or my back or my cheek. And this one time he came home really drunk and pulled me into bed with him and took my shirt off, and sensually touched my bare chest, and nibbled on my neck, and kissed me, and just let me sleep in there with him, my head on his bare chest."

He said this all very quickly. I tried to imagine that happening, and felt my face getting very red. Itachi had made out with me at a party; he asked all the people that wanted to see us make out to give us a dollar, I got to make out with him nine times and made 4.50 from it. I felt guilty for it now, because it was I who got to make out with the one my best friend wanted.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke." I said, cradling him in my arms and looking around his bedroom awkwardly. I didn't know what to say, even though I was having almost the same problem. I wasn't quite sure whether he wanted advice on how to deal with Orochimaru, or tell him that it was fine for him to be in love with his brother, or tell him that I had a similar problem and that eventually you'd learn to accept it and live with it.

Sasuke held me tightly, his hands gripping my back so hard that I was sure there would be marks. I stayed silent, figuring my embrace would speak louder than any words I could've said to him. He buried his head in my chest, and his body shook with sobs. I ran my fingers through his hair (with difficulty due to his unusual hair style) and rocked back and fourth.

He looked up at me, a new expression in his eyes.

"Help me…" he whispered.

I finally spoke,

"Sasuke, I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me, I'll do anything I can," I whispered in his ear.

He smiled; a beautiful seductive smile. I'd seen him use that smile before, whenever he wanted something from a girl that liked him. They would melt, literally melt, and I wasn't any different.

I needed help too, so I decided that I would let him do whatever it was he wanted to me. He began to nibble up my neck, sucking tenderly on my Adams apple. I was reluctant to swallow. He kept on nibbling, licking, and sucking on my neck as he walked me over to the bed and pushed me onto it. He moved his hands up my shirt, rubbing my back sensually and then he dug his fingernails into my flesh as he moved his head up, bored with my neck. He was sitting on top of me; I was lying down on the bed, silent, letting him use me. I could give him what Itachi couldn't; he could give me what I was too afraid to take from Hinata.

He began to lick my earlobe, and then began biting harshly and licking the inside of my ear. One of his hands moved down to my pants and he fumbled with the button and zipper and he stroked my erection. His lips were now on mine, I opened my mouth to gasp and he silenced me with his tongue. I wanted to stop, but I didn't know how to tell him. I didn't want to upset him, especially since he was obviously very horny. I licked and nibbled at his tongue, and explored every crevice and taste of his mouth. I could taste the strawberry ice cream that we had shared earlier that day during lunch. I felt bad for getting everything, since it's not like I was the one that wanted it as much as he did. I wanted Hinata. I felt my way down to his pants, not bothering with unbuttoning them because they were very baggy.

Sasuke grabbed my hand before I could get inside and twisted it, he broke himself from my lips and shook his head at me. I was about to ask why, but he covered my mouth with my hand and then started sucking on my finger. I took my finger out of his mouth and pressed my lips against his again, sucking harshly on his tongue. I closed my eyes, and began to bite down softly on his tongue, I traced his shoulder blades with my fingers tenderly and broke the kiss. He leaned into me again, trying to get me again, but I was too quick. I licked at his flesh, biting and nibbling on his muscles and nipples.

"Itach…Neji." He moaned. He was now beneath me. I got off him quickly and picked up my shirt from the ground.

"I'm sorry Neji," he whispered. I shook my head, telling him in a convincing voice that it was fine. I thought that perhaps I could get over Hinata if he could get over Itachi. But I know that neither will ever happen and I didn't want to fool myself. My time with Sasuke was over too quickly, we'd only been up in his room for ten minutes and I knew we both still wanted to keep going. I mean, logically, who cares if he's not Hinata? He's willing to give himself to me, and I should take what I can get. But I still couldn't. Going at it again would ruin whatever chance he had with Itachi. Once was fine, though, because it just an impulsive response because he was hurt and I could heal him. But kissing him again would mean we were willing to sacrifice who we loved, even though we weren't, and we couldn't lie to each other like that.

"You think Orochimaru raped my cousin yet?" I asked after a few moments (that felt like an eternity) of awkward silence, to lighten up the mood. He laughed, but it sounded forced. He wanted to kiss me again, he wanted to pretend that I was Itachi. He wanted me to tie my hair back and draw lines under my eyes with eyeliner and paint my nails and toe nails black. And I would too, if it wouldn't interfere with the destiny that had been assigned to him. His destiny is with his brother, together or not, and I didn't want to step in the way of that. Just as mine was Hinata's, whether we can love each other or not. Or whether she even loves me at all.

This was all too confusing, I could hardly describe what I was thinking about to myself, and I must vainly say that I have a way with words. I could tell that Sasuke was thinking about the whole incest thing too, but probably not in the same way I was, because he still didn't know my side.

"I should probably go check on her," I said, standing up. I pushed my bangs back with my hands and combed my hair with my fingers.

Sasuke looked over to me, so I hesitated in leaving.

"Do you eh… wanna' go again?" he asked hopefully. I feel guilty for saying no.

"Do I disgust you, Neji?" he asked.

"No! Of course not… it's just that making me into the Itachi that you can have won't help either of us… and I want this, Sasuke, but I just think it would be a bad idea. For both of us…" I didn't think I was doing a good enough job of explaining. "I have a similar problem to yours Sasuke… and I want to run away from it as well, but I can't escape my destiny and neither can you. We… we can't be together. I'm- I'm sorry."

He smiled sadly. "Let's go check on Hinata, then, shall we?"

I nodded solemnly.

We walked back down stairs to Itachi, Hinata, and Orochimaru. I sat down on the couch in between Itachi and Hinata; I began tracing the pattern (which was ping-pong paddle like shapes and flowers) that was finely stitched into the couch. Sasuke sat between Itachi and I, leaving no more room for Orochimaru who was in the bathroom or something. Itachi didn't seem to mind that his little brother was in the space that his boyfriend should have been occupying.

Hinata looked at me curiously, knowing that something had gone on, but respected Sasuke's privacy and didn't ask. I would tell her some day, not that Sasuke was in love with his brother, but what Sasuke and I did. At least that was my business, and could spread it around as I wished.

I felt bad for her because she was obviously uncomfortable. I laced my fingers around hers and started humming 'Ich Will' and she would repeat it for me in English. I glanced over at Itachi, who was affectionately running his hands through his brother's hair. Sasuke and I caught eyes. I saw how content he looked, and smiled. They were both so beautiful, and together they would be more beautiful than the world could handle.

Hinata was flushed with heat. The house was really warm. But I knew that she wouldn't take the sweatshirt off due to the tank top underneath. Frankly, I'd like to see it, and I know that she'd be more comfortable. I held her close to me and asked if she'd like to take off the sweatshirt. She shook her head, but I knew that she did want to. I pulled it up off her, and helped her get out of it. She quickly pulled up the shirt, covering any cleavage that there might have been, but thanked me. I put my arm over her breasts and told her it'd be okay because I was here to make sure that if anyone looked at her inappropriately that they would die. She laughed.

Itachi smiled at the two of us. "Oh my god, Hinata-chan, you look really good in that camisole!"

She blushed and curled up closer into me, hiding within my arms. I smiled. She was just so beautiful and cute.

"What time is it, aniki?" Sasuke asked. Itachi craned his neck to see the digital clock on the wall behind him.

"Six thirty. Annoying girls who love us for our beauty will be here any minute now,"

"You're the beautiful one, aniki, not me," Sasuke muttered. Itachi glared at him.

"You're beautiful too Sasuke, you're an Uchiha and you're related to me,"

"You are beautiful… so beautiful… like a fairy or a sunrise or my Itachi," Orochimaru said, sitting down in the small amount space left on the couch. Hinata was on my lap, still, with Sasuke next to us, next to him was Itachi (who was scratching crazy patterns into Sasuke's pale flesh with his fingernails and running his hands through Sasuke's hair) and next to him was Orochimaru, who was not at all subtly molesting Itachi. Hinata looked away, shifting uncomfortably. I wished she wouldn't, because as I mentioned, she was sitting on my lap and I was still aroused from Sasuke's and mine little thing and I doubt I could stop myself from getting a hard on when the person that I wanted had her ass shifting against my penis.

Sasuke looked away from Orochimaru as well, not wanting to see him.

Orochimaru reached across Itachi and cupped Sasuke's chin, examining his face.

"Yes, yes, very beautiful. I want to taste your beauty, Sasuke-kun. Itachi, may I taste your brother?"

Itachi shook his head. "Not until everyone is drunk enough to not understand what you're doing,"

The door opened, and Sakura, Kiba, Ino, and Shikamaru came in. Kiba was smelling Sakura's hair and neck and nibbling on her ear. His pet names for her were "Poodle" and "Puppy" and I'd heard them doing stuff at parties like this one. He called her bitch when they did 'that'. But they were still such a cute couple. Shikamaru plunked down onto a different couch right away, and Ino glared at him.

"Shika, I don't have a date tonight so if any gross people hit on me –you- need to be the one that says 'hey, I'm her boyfriend'.

"It never works, though; you always go home with them even when I do say that,"

"Hey! You tell everyone that talks to me that you're my boyfriend, not just the gross people!"

I looked over to Sasuke, Itachi just licked his neck. I looked at Hinata, who was more comfortable now that there were more people here and she could blend in better.

"Well how am I supposed to know if they're gross or not?"

Ino was so oblivious. Not in the stereotypical blond way, but she thought anyone that talked to her liked her, and she didn't even suspect Shikamaru. Other than that, she was actually pretty smart. She was great at writing poetry, and you had to love her fashion sense.

"Well then today whenever someone gross hits on you say 'Oh Hello' in that way you say it to my mother when she's P.M.S.ing, and if it's not a gross guy say 'Hi' like you say to your father when you want money," Shikamaru said.

"Yes, but given that this is an Uchiha party, I will probably be drunk and want to make out with anyone just because I hate being single when even that forehead has a boyfriend."

Hinata kept looking at the door, and I kept shifting my focus on conversations. Orochimaru is sucking on Sasuke's toes. Sasuke looks very uncomfortable. I ask Hinata is he tried to do anything weird like that with her.

"He tried, but Itachi stopped him."

"What did he try to do?" I asked angrily.

"He said he'd give me forty dollars if I gave you head and let him video tape us… he says we're beautiful and should be beautiful together…"

As much as I hated to admit it, I wished she had taken him up on that offer. But I was still angry and Oro-san, and glared at him for good measure. He noticed and grinned at me, flicking his tongue out and licking his lips, winking. I looked away, and started unconsciously caressing Hinata's thigh. I've been with her to many parties and I know this helps her relax. I kiss her cheek, too.

Sakura started moaning, making everyone stop and look her way. Kiba and her were wrestling with their tongues, both outside their mouth and on all fours like a dog. Kiba started biting. Orochimaru took out a camera and took their photo.

Sasuke twitched, making the couch shake. Orochimaru and I looked over to him, to see that Itachi had now pulled his shirt to the side, exposing his neck and left shoulder and was now biting at it.

"Ita…chi…" Sasuke squeaked, and then remembered that people were there and scrambled away from his brother, "what the hell are you doing?"

"I have to agree with Sasuke here, you should be doing stuff like that to me!"

Okay… That. Was. So. Fucking. Hot. I've decided that I really like the idea of Sasuke and Itachi together.

Naruto soon walked in through the door, and Hinata tensed up.

"HELLOOOO!" He shouted cheerily. I waved, Itachi said yo. Ino and Shikamaru both said Hi, Kiba and Sakura smiled up at him, saying hello. I know that Sasuke is pretty close with Naruto, and I was secretly hoping he would keep his secret contained only with me. Who even knew about Naruto's sexuality and if he would get farther with Sasuke than I did.

I know I shouldn't be jealous. Sasuke has the right to date whoever he wants to.

But I'm still jealous.

Hinata tensed up and waved shyly to Naruto, getting off my lap and going over to him.

"H-hello Naruto, I-I read that book you t-told me too… it was really good. I, I really liked that part when that girl went crazy because the guy she loved was in love with his own reflection, and her bones dissolved and turned into stone…"

Naruto smiled, and said he was glad she liked it. I realized now that I didn't have to be jealous of Naruto because he might do Sasuke. I was jealous of Naruto because he might do Hinata.

Sasuke scooted away from his brother, closer to me, pretending to be disgusted. More people were arriving. Loud annoying people. But I could still hear every word that Hinata and Naruto exchanged. Sasuke put his hand over mine. He could feel me clenching my fist so tightly that my nails were leaving marks in my skin. He looked at me knowingly, knowing what my tight jaw and balled fist meant.

"Her?" he asked. I nodded, tears entering my eyes. It hurt to admit it out loud. Sasuke gestured to me that he was leaving the room, and I followed. It didn't hurt this much before he knew. And now I knew how much painful this was. I needed his hands to heal me. He needed me to heal him.

As soon as we closed his bedroom door, we started to kiss furiously, he stripped my shirt off again, and I stripped off his. We were in so much pain. I wanted him to heal me. To kill me. And I knew, that tonight, destiny wouldn't be the only one fucking around with me.

TBC