A/N: One Shot about Luke and Lorelai. Lorelai gets into a car accident and there are some problems. Please, review! I like getting reviews.
Disclaimer: Don't own it!
PS I just want to say, if I ever annoy anybody, I am really sorry. I mean, I got this review for Victory is Lovely and the person was rather rude, but had a good point. I'm sorry if I ever ask for reviews or anything like that or if I'm too demanding. I strive to be liked. I'm sorry to LittleMarySunshine for being selfish.
PPS Life's a Wild Ride will be updated soon!
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Start
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She hopped around in her seat a bit, squeezing the steering wheel just a little harder. It was hard to focus on the road and to not go into a dreamy haze. She wondered how Luke would react to her news.
Happy? Sad? Excited? Angry? Disbelieving? Optimistic?
She wanted him to be glad that she was what she just found out she was. She smiled to herself. She was happy. Incredibly happy.
This would solidify their relationship. Because of her condition he would want to marry her. And she desperately wanted to marry him. Not because of this specific reason, but because she had wanted to marry him for quite some time.
She sighed.
She hadn't even told him she loved him yet. She was stupid sometimes.
But this, this would change everything. She knew they would be together for the rest of their lives no matter what, from now on. They had to be.
She had known Luke wanted to tell her he loved her, that he wanted to marry her or move in with her or something to further their relationship. But he had been afraid he would frighten her off. That his complete commitment and total loyalty to her would make her want to escape.
But no. She felt the opposite. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
It was her fault he hadn't said anything to her. But everything would be okay. They would be happy together.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
And then, it happened. It happened so quickly she almost didn't catch what was going on.
Behind her lids she saw a bright yellow glow, like someone had shined headlights right into her face. When she opened her eyes, all she could see was yellow light. She knew she opened her mouth at some point in surprise.
She thought she had screamed, too, but all of the events were happening so quickly and her brain was very jumbled.
She turned the steering wheel quickly, her jeep careening to the right to avoid hitting what she was heading straight for. Or what was heading straight for her. There was a loud blaring noise like someone was pressing their hand against the car horn and could not for the life of them stop pushing it.
She knew her screams were mixing with the horn and the high pitched squealing of tires. She knew she went flying forward. She was glad she always wore her seatbelt. Something hit her car on the side where she was sitting. There were more horns and more screeching. She could have sworn she heard loud music, too...
Her air bag didn't deploy until the jeep started to roll and rock and tilt, and then Lorelai's face was being pressed into the white material. The car must have rolled at least four times until it finally hit the wall lining the freeway. When she couldn't open her eyes and the pain overwhelmed her, she succumbed to the darkness that was unconsciousness.
Her last coherent thought was:
The baby...
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She woke up in the hospital, hooked up to an IV through her arm. She was in a bed, on her back. At first she thought she couldn't move her legs and she panicked a little, but relaxed when she realized they were asleep.
The room was dank and cold and very informal. She wondered vaguely how long she had been lying in that bed, in that room, unaware of her surroundings and whereabouts.
At least she was warm.
She was staring at the ceiling and counting the tiles there, when a nurse came in. The young girl smiled at Lorelai, her teeth showing.
"You're awake! I'm glad. We weren't too worried that you wouldn't wake up, but I'm just glad you have." She walked to Lorelai's bed and started to help her sit up.
"How long have I been here?" Lorelai asked.
"Oh, I'd say about a couple hours. You're fine, don't worry."
"What happened?"
"Well, you got into a car accident—" she started to explain, but the door to the room burst open and Luke practically sprinted in.
Upon sight of him, Lorelai grinned. She wanted to see him so badly.
The nurse, on the other hand, didn't. She walked straight up to him and even though she was over a foot shorter than him, she said sternly, "I'm sorry, sir, but I need to do an examination. You can wait outside until I'm done."
"But I—"
"Sir, please, I told you two hours ago that you couldn't go in until I examined her and that fact has not changed."
"I've been waiting forever—"
She pressed a hand against his chest and pushed him out into the hall.
"I will come and get you when you can see her. In the mean time, go get something to eat."
When the girl bustled back in, she smiled comfortingly. "I'm guessing he's your boyfriend? He's been waiting out there ever since we got a hold of him. Won't leave or even eat. I tell you, men just don't listen to me."
Lorelai smiled and then winced. There was a sharp pain in her abdomen. She looked at the nurse in alarm, who watched her carefully.
"Stomach pain?"
Lorelai nodded.
"Well, it's expected. I'll get you more pain killers. In the mean time---"
"Why?" Lorelai interrupted. "Why is it expected? What happened to me?"
The nurse gave her an odd look and then said softly, "You don't remember?"
Lorelai stared at her.
"No, I guess you were so distressed that you wouldn't." She walked slowly to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Ms. Gilmore, when we brought you in, you had been in a severe car accident. Your car was totaled and some of the pieces had somewhat impaled you. We...we tried to extricate them and when you were in the operating room, we discovered that all of the trauma from the accident made you... You had...I..."
The nurse looked away, and she seemed to be tearing up. That was not a good thing.
"I'm not good at giving bad news."
"Bad news?" Lorelai whispered. She was terrified to know what had happened to her. She felt the pain again, but tried to ignore it.
"I...Miss Gilmore, you had a miscarriage during your accident. You aren't pregnant anymore. And, during the operation we had to operate on your lower abdomen...including your uterus. We still haven't got back the test results telling us if you'll still be able to have children. I...We told you all of this before you fell unconscious again, but I'm guessing you didn't understand. I...I'm so sorry."
Lorelai stopped listening when the nurse had said they didn't know whether she could have more kids. She felt the pit of her stomach drop and her heart tighten painfully. Had life ever felt this hopeless?
Luke would hate her. She had killed his child. And he might not get a family because of her. He would have been such a wonderful father. How could she take that opportunity from him?
And she had killed it. Instead of watching the road, she had daydreamed about his reaction. Her wandering mind had ended the life of their unborn child.
The nurse had stopped speaking the minute Lorelai looked away. The girl stared at her for a long moment, measuring her reaction.
Lorelai felt tears prick her eyes and a burning sensation in the corners of her eyelids.
She was a horrible mother and a horrible person. How could she do this?
"I...I'll leave you alone for a few minutes and then I'll have to examine you, alright?" When Lorelai didn't answer, she stood and left the room. Luke almost jumped her.
"Can I go in?"
The nurse tried to hide her own tears of pity.
"No, not yet. You can go in, in ten minutes."
And then she walked away, leaving a puzzled Luke in her wake.
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Lorelai turned and buried her face in the pillow. That's when she let her tears come. She cried her heart out, until her eyes were swollen and red and itchy. She sobbed and hiccupped and heaved long cries. She moaned sadly into the cushion and clutched the blankets with all her energy. She gasped into her arm, letting the tears flow freely.
How could she do this? How could she do this to a child?
Luke would hate her. And she merited his hate.
After ten minutes of crying her eyes out, there was a knock on the door. Lorelai didn't respond, so Luke came in.
"Lorelai?"
He almost thought she was asleep, for she was holding her breath to make it seem that way, but she let out a sniffle and a hiccup. He stepped quickly to the bed and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Lorelai, are you okay? Why are you crying?"
He tried to turn her to him but she shook him off.
"Don't touch me, Luke."
He watched her in surprise. "Lorelai?"
"I don't deserve it. Find someone who deserves your love."
"What are you talking about?"
Without looking up, she continued. "I'm a horrible person. You should hate me."
"I have no reason to hate you. God, Lorelai, I almost died when I heard you got into an accident."
"It's my fault."
"What is?"
"The accident. It's my fault---" She was going to say that it was her fault his son or daughter was dead, but he cut her off.
"What are you talking about? The accident wasn't your fault. The stupid bastard was drunk off his ass. He didn't even stop to see if you were okay. He just drove off and left you on the freeway."
She turned then, her eyes wide and questioning. "What?" she breathed.
"You got hit by a drunk driver, Lorelai. If you hadn't been wearing your seatbelt, you might be dead." He leaned forward and cupped her face in his hands. He brought her head close to his and kissed her. "I'm glad you're intelligent, Lorelai. You don't know how worried about you I was."
"So it wasn't my fault?"
"No."
"I didn't kill it?"
"What?" He pulled further away. "You didn't kill what?"
"Luke...?" The doctors hadn't told him...? Of course they didn't. They didn't know that she and Luke were a couple. She grasped his hand and pulled him to her. She leaned as close to him as she could, making him sit on the bed so she could be in his arms. She leaned he mouth to his ear and let a strangled and subdued sob. "Luke, I was pregnant." He tried to pull away again, but she clung. She needed him. More than anything.
"You were pregnant...?" he asked hesitantly.
Lorelai felt everything inside her die at that moment. "Yes. I had a miscarriage during the accident because of the trauma. They...they had to operate on my uterus and they don't know if I'll be ever be able to have kids again."
She buried her nose in his shoulder then, afraid that he would hate her and throw her away from him in disgust.
But instead, he hugged her tighter, pressing himself against her body and sniffing her hair to comfort himself.
"God, Lorelai, I am so sorry."
Lorelai was surprised. Why was Luke sorry? He had done nothing.
"Why are you apologizing?"
"I'm sorry that you had to suffer through all of this. God, I'm so, so sorry."
She let out another sniffle and pressed her lips to his cheek and then his earlobe. "God damn, Luke, I love you."
He retracted himself from her and looked into her eyes.
"You love me?"
She closed her eyes and sighed, leaning her forehead against his. "So much more than you'll ever know and more than I could ever express with words."
He kissed her again, passionately, and said against her mouth, "I love you, too, Lorelai. I've waited so long to say it."
"I know."
She went silent and then said, "Luke, I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant. I just kept thinking, 'a child with Luke? Who could ask for anything more?'... I kept daydreaming on the way home from the doctor's. I thought I hadn't been paying attention when I got into the crash so I thought it was all my fault."
He pressed his lips to hers in a gesture of understanding.
"Lorelai, we'll just keep trying."
She let out a small breath of air that was almost a gasp. "You want to have a kid with me?"
"I couldn't want anything more."
"But what if I can't get pregnant?"
Ignoring her, he said boldly, "Marry me."
"What?"
"Marry me."
"Are you out of your mind?"
"Yes, especially since I'm in love with you. Marry me," he commanded again.
"I want us to have a family."
"Rory will be our family if you can't have children."
"Yes." She said suddenly. She loved to confuse him.
"Yes what?" he asked in puzzlement.
"I want to marry you. I want to get married."
He kissed her again. "I love you."
"We're irrational."
"Yes, but if we weren't, we wouldn't be us, would we?"
"I guess not."
At that moment, a male doctor came in. He cleared his throat to get the couples attention. He smiled when he saw them both grinning like fools.
"Miss Gilmore, I have some very good news for you."
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End
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So you like? I was watching this show about pregnancies and miscarriages and stuff and was inspired. Please review. This is a one shot.