Warcraft World
by Agent Smith
Vincent von Daggar screamed as he was severed from the control of the Lich King by the power of the Forsaken. As he awoke in a strange crypt, he noticed a necromancer standing above him.
"Greetings, Vincent. I have freed you from the Lich King", the necromancer said.
"Awww, shucks, why did you have to go do that? I was perfectly content being one of the Lich King's slaves." Vincent replied.
"SHUT UP! Anyways, you must choose a class. I recommend you choose something unique and-"
"OH! I KNOW! I'LL BE AN UNDEAD ROGUE! I BET THERE AREN'T TOO MANY OF THOSE!"
The Necromancer slapped his forehead and sighed, then walked out of the crypt to go kill himself. He liked killing himself because he never really died, but the durability loss sometimes gets annoying.
Meanwhile, Vincent von Dagger levelled up on some of the pathetic monsters that were scattered around the glades. Upon reaching level 10, he noticed he could put points into talents.
"Hmm, let's see here... The talent trees..." Vincent pondered.
"Attack Enemy While They Are Fighting Someone Else Tree... oooh, that one sounds good. Or, how about Attack Enemy While They Are Low On Health Fighting Someone Else Tree... Even better!" Vincent exclaimed, then levelled up a few dozen more times to head to Duskwood to kill graybies.
Meanwhile, in Darnassus...
"Hah! I have designed a Night Elf character so original and unique, all from using mental images of Legolas in my head! I even named him... Legilas!" Legilas said, surrounded by thirteen other Night Elves who looked exactly the same. They were also all either Druids or Hunters.
Suddenly, a circus caravan rolled into town. A tent was set up, and a sign outside read...
'Lord of the Rings Look A-Like Contest'
"Wow, finally something that will bring more people to us, causing more lag than Ironforge Auction house at the peak of the populated high server with over fifty epic armors in the Auction House being sold for 3 gold a piece!" Legilas said, as him and the other Legolas look alikes joined the Gimli and Aragorn look alikes marching into the Darnassus square to lag everyone who doesn't have a cray supercomputer.
Meanwhile, at LAGonforge...
Hector the level 60 Mage was busy teleporting around the Common Area of Ironforge. He wasn't even blinking, the sheer lag was causing him to port around... until he fell to his death in the Great Forge. Elsewhere, another three million people were gathered in the Commons, either sitting around doing nothing, or jumping around on their mounts, or using the spyglass trick to reach the vents where the Gryphons fly through.
"Wow, this place sucks." said Guywithoutagoodcomp.
"Agreed." said Girlwithoutagoodcomp.
"Let's group and head to Strangevale."
They grouped, headed to Strangevale where they got zerged trying to leave Booty Bay.
At Nessingway's Expedition, Vincent and his buddies were sitting around slaughtering any mortal who dare come within a five mile radius of any of the vital quest givers.
"Ahhh, this is fun... getting no honor points nor contribution points, and completely wasting my time, mana, poisons, and 15 bucks a month doing nothing but temporarily delaying Alliance characters from turning in their quests. This is the life." Vincent said, his buddies... of course being either Undead Rogues or Tauren Shaman, immediately turned their heads to see a level 30 Human mage coming towards them, praying to God she could at least sheep one long enough so that she could run for her life now that she had been spotted.
"GRAYBIE! AFTER HER!" Vincent said, and activated his sprint. Within seconds, the victorious Horde finished killing and raping the mage's corpse.
A level 35 Dwarf Warrior approached.
"Uh oh, this guy is turning up green on my level monitor... should we run?" a Tauren Shaman said.
"It's a warrior, no worries." Vincent said, before stunning the Warrior while he was fighting a monster, and then he and his friends threw all sorts of spells, debuffs, zerglings, and hydralisks at the Warrior, leaving his corpse a smoldering pile of char in seconds.
Things were no better for the Horde at Tarren Mill, which was now called Hiroshima Mill since the roughly five million level 60 alliance had finished blowing it to hell after the 3rd raid in the past 5 minutes.
A Troll Priest immediately entered the fray, hoping the Death Guards would distract the army of Alliance zerglings long enough for him to kill one monster. Troll Priest managed to get a nearby wolf down to half health before he was spotted and executed by the Alliance.
Ammy the Human Priest and Jeffrey the Human Paladin entered what they believed to be some sort of ghost town. There was nobody there, yet the ghoulist yells of 'LFG Stockades' sometimes echoed through the barren alleys of Stormwind.
"Hello? Anyone here?" Ammy yelled.
After some crickets chirped and tumble weeds rolled by, they finally found another pair of adventurers... who were looking for a group for the Stockades.
"LFG Stockades" Gol said.
"LFM Stockades" Maia added.
"Tank looking for stockade" Master Chief yelled.
"INVITE HIM GOL!" Maia yelled. Finally, a group of five was formed. Five was usually more than the entire population of Stormwind anyways. They entered the stockade.
"Ammy Heal Me!" Gol said as he aggroed about 30000 prisoners with his AOE spell and ran around in a frenzy.
Ammy started healing him, and after healing one hit point, all the prisoners immediately focused their attention on her.
"Oh crap" Ammy said. Jeffrey tried desperately to save his priest friend while Master Chief ran around aggroing more prisoners and a few bosses.
"PRIEST IS NOOB!" Maia yelled as the group was finally put out of it's misery and wiped.
Too be continued...