(A/N) Now, this fic will be full of short-time pairings, reason; there is a Harry charahcter named 'Lust'.
If you don't know anything about the seven deadly sins, you might have some problem in understanding this fic.
Anyway, it's humor, all the way to the end, then it'll be a Harry x Luna fluff in the last chap.
The seven sins of Harry
Harry Potter was walking silently along the corridors of Hogwarts. It was past curfew, but he didn't really care. Ron and Hermione had been up to another one of their bickering sessions in the common room and Harry got tired of them and left, neither of them had seemed to notice though.
He came to a stop as he was about to pass a strange-looking statue etched into the wall; he stared at it curiously. It was seven people standing on top and around some kind of hill; at the bottom there was a fat man eating what seemed to be a pile of food, next to him sat a man wearing a sly smile as his hands were clutching a treasure-chest filled with gold. An inch or two away from them stood an angry looking man; he gritted his teeth as he held an axe high in the air, ready to strike. In front of him lay a man who looked extremely bored, he looked as if he didn't care if the man behind him would strike at him or not. Higher up on the rock lay a naked woman, smiling seductively. Another woman was standing a bit above her; she was glaring enviously at a man standing on the top with his hands on his hips, and a triumphant smile on his face.
"Harry Potter sir?"
Harry quickly tore his eyes away from the statue and looked around for the source of the voice. He looked down; Dobby the house-elf was standing next to him, looking at Harry curiously. Harry smiled slightly.
"Hello Dobby." He said.
Dobby smiled. "Isn't Harry Potter supposed to be in Gryffindor tower by now?" He asked. "Isn't it past curfew?"
Harry looked a little guilty, but then he chuckled. "Well, with Ron and Hermione bickering like there was no tomorrow, it's not really enjoyable being around them, that's all."
Dobby nodded. "Dobby saw Mr. Filch a moment ago," He said. "Dobby doesn't think he is headed this way, but Harry Potter should be careful."
Harry smiled. "I don't think I'll have to worry about Filch," He pulled out an old parchment from his pocket. "With this I can find out where he is and what he's doing."
Dobby looked at the parchment curiously, then he looked at Harry hesitantly. "May Dobby ask how?"
Harry grinned. "Sure you can." He unrolled the parchment and tapped it with his wand saying "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Suddenly ink started spreading from where Harry had tapped the parchment and started painting the parchment with the corridors of Hogwarts; the Marauders' map.
Harry crouched down and showed Dobby the map. "See these little dots?" Dobby nodded. "They represent all the people who are currently inside Hogwarts. You can see that Filch is in his office." He pointed at the place of the map the two of them where currently in. "And these two dots are us."
Dobby nodded, but suddenly he squinted his eyes and looked at the map. "Harry Potter has a bubble above his spot."
Harry looked at the map curiously. Sure enough, the dot with his name on it had a bubble above it. He looked closer and saw the word 'arasiloc' written in it.
"Arasiloc?" He read curiously.
Suddenly the statue he had inspected earlier gave a lurch and began moving further into the wall, as if something was pushing it into it.
Harry stood up quickly, wand ready. Dobby startled at the sound of the moving statue.
When it stopped moving, Harry and Dobby saw a small circular aisle pushing itself upwards from a hole in the floor where the statue had stood; a small orb lay peacefully on it, giving away a faint glow of blue.
"What is that?" Dobby asked cautiously, glancing up at Harry who lowered his wand.
"I don't know." He walked slowly towards the small altar; his eyes locked at the small blue sphere. Without thinking, he reached out and took the orb in his hand. It suddenly started to glow brighter. Startled, he tried to let go of it, but his hands were glued to it.
Dobby yelped as the blue light engulfed Harry, giving of a ringing sound. He closed his eyes in fear and put his hands over them. When the ringing stopped he opened his eyes cautiously, and what he saw made his tennis-ball eyes grow wide as quaffles. In front of him stood not only an unharmed Harry Potter, but seven unharmed Harry Potters.
"Well…" Said one of them as he examined his hands. "That's interesting."
Another one of them suddenly looked furious; he clenched his teeth and balled up his hands into fists. "Who the hell put that orb thing there?" He shouted. "Oh I bet it was Malfoy!" He hit his fist against the wall. "That bastard is up for some serious hurt; oh he's seen it coming at him for years!"
"I doubt it was Malfoy," Said another Harry as he stared at the statue that now moved back into its original position; a bored expression on his face. "But I don't care, go ahead Wrath, beat him up."
"Let's not get too hasty," Said another Harry with a glint in his eyes and a sly smile on his face. He put his hand on Wrath's shoulder. "We have to put up with a plan, think about what we can do with his possessions!"
"As long as I get to beat up some Slytherins!" Wrath said, his eyes gave of a glow of fire.
"Oh, and Wrath, take this." Said another Harry as he quickly scribbled down a bunch of names on a note and handed it toWrath who stared at it before exclaiming "Who the –beep- are these, Lust?"
Lust grinned. "The boyfriends of the most beautiful chicks at Hogwarts of course, could you 'take care' of them for me?"
Wrath rolled his eyes and stuffed the note into his pocket. "Whatever!"
"Why can't I beat someone up?" Asked another one and turned to Lust. "Why is it always Wrath who gets to beat someone up?"
Another Harry put an arm around him and sighed. "Envy, you simply need to learn how to decide things for yourself," He smiled. "Like me."
"I'm hungry." Said another.
"You're always hungry, Gluttony!" Wrath exclaimed.
"Pride, do you have any food?" Gluttony asked.
The Harry who had told Envy to be more like him stood straight, a pompous smile on his face. "No, but naturally I know where you could get some."
Gluttony looked very excited. "Where?"
Pride rolled his eyes. "The kitchen of course!"
Gluttony mouthed an 'oh' before hurrying off towards the kitchen.
Lust snorted. "Gluttony definitely need to get out more, wouldn't you agree Sloth?"
The one who had eyed the statue earlier slowly looked up, looking extremely bored. "Does it look like I care?" He asked.
Lust raised his eyebrows, but then he shrugged and turned towards Wrath and the last unnamed Harry. "Hey, Greed!" He said. "If any of the Slytherins Wrath beats up have any condoms; please, do let me know."
Greed grinned slyly. "Well, you'll have to pay for the information," He said. "And you'll have to pay if you want any condoms."
Lust rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll just do it without rubber." He said. "It's much more comfortable anyway."
Greed quickly said "I'll give you a big discount!"
"Whatever," Lust chuckled. "I'm just gonna go check the common room, maybe Lavender's still up." He mused and walked away.
"Now, let's go beat up Malfoy!" Wrath urged.
"Patience, my friend." Greed said. "How do you expect us to get into his common room huh? Let's sleep on matters; we can make up plans in the Room of Requirement."
Wrath scowled. "Fine! But tomorrow…!"
"Tomorrow." Greed nodded as he led Wrath in the direction of the Room of Requirement.
Envy muttered something about life being 'so unfair' before walking off in the opposite direction.
Pride sighed. "It's not easy not being me." He said before following Envy.
Sloth stared at Pride before shaking his head muttering "Whatever." He conjured a pillow and sat down and leaned his head on the pillow against the wall.
Dobby stared helplessly as all the Harrys except Sloth walked off in different directions. He spotted the orb lying on the floor, it was now faint black. Dobby hesitated before carefully picking up the black sphere, he sighed in relief when nothing happened. He looked over at the now slightly snoring Sloth Harry as he lay there lazily.
Dobby let his head drop. "Whatever should Dobby do?" He asked himself.
Ron awoke grumpily on Sunday morning; the row with Hermione the previous night hadn't gone too much awry, thanks to Ginny who stepped in, making both Ron and Hermione look pretty ashamed. Apparently Harry had stormed off sometime during the argument, which Ginny reprimanded the two prefects about, making them feel even more guilty.
Ron sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. He glanced over at Harry's bed and noticed it was untouched.
Ron frowned, but then shrugged as he began to get dressed.
He left the boys' dormitory a couple of minutes later, he spotted Ginny and Hermione coming down the stairs from the girls' dormitory.
"Hey," He said as they met halfway through the deserted common room. "Have you guys seen Harry?"
Hermione shook her head and Ginny said "No, we just woke up."
"His bed's untouched." Ron said with furrowed eyebrows." Seems like he didn't sleep there last night."
"Maybe he slept on a couch down here." Hermione suggested. They all looked around at the couches, and found that one was occupied by a sleeping student, only it wasn't Harry.
Lavender Brown lay sleeping peacefully on the couch, covered mostly by a blanket; apparently she had slept in her clothes.
"Just Lavender." Hermione sighed.
Ginny shrugged. "Maybe she knows where Harry is." She said as she made her way over to Lavender.
Hermione rolled her eyes, why would Lavender know where Harry was? If he had been sleeping in the common room and she knew about it, he probably hadn't told her when he left since she was still asleep.
"Lavender?" Ginny called as she gently shook the sleeping girl. Her eyes fluttered open.
"Oh, hi Ginny." She stretched and looked around. "Where's Harry?"
Hermione raised her eyebrows. "We where about to ask you the same thing."
Ron shrugged. "Seems like he didn't sleep here either."
"Oh, but he did." Lavender stated, she smiled slightly. "Well, he didn't really get that much sleep but…" She cut herself off and blushed as Ron, Hermione and Ginny all stared at her.
"I'm gonna go take a shower," She said as she got up from the couch and straightened her skirt. "Tell Harry 'hi' for me when you see him."
The others nodded as Lavender made her way towards the staircase, she stopped in mid-tracks however, and walked back to the couch and picked up some kind of white cloth from the floor, she blushed and quickly made her way towards the girls' dormitory.
Ginny's mouth hung open; she turned towards her brother and Hermione and held up a finger as she asked "Did she just pick up her knickers from the floor?"
Ron and Hermione nodded dumbly.
"And…" Ginny went on. "She said Harry slept here last night."
The two nodded again.
"And she also said he didn't really 'sleep' last night?"
Another nod.
"So, if you put two and two together…" Ginny said, but stopped and looked at her two friends expectantly.
There was a short silence before Hermione spoke up. "I think we should go find Harry."
"Yeah." Ron and Ginny said at once.
They figured Harry might be down in the great hall for breakfast. However, they spotted Luna Lovegood turning a corner and walking towards them, staring dreamily into space.
"Hi Luna!" Ginny said as Luna looked up at them, seemingly surprised to see them.
"Hello." She said casually.
"Er…have you seen Harry?" Ron asked.
"Why, yes," Luna nodded. "I've seen him quite often this month actually."
"He means recently." Hermione said with a roll on her eyes.
"Oh yes, he's down in the kitchen," Luna said. "The house elves said he's been there all night."
"Thanks Luna!" Ginny said, but before they could head down to the kitchen, Luna continued speaking.
"He's also in the broomcupboard over there," She pointed towards a door some feet behind Hermione. "shagging Marietta Edgecombe."
The others stared quizzically from the broomcupboard to Luna who continued "I believe I also saw him down the corridor around the corner here," She said and looked around the corner she just rounded. "He was beating up Vincent Crabbe and George Goyle. He's also-"
Hermione cut her off. "Will you make up your mind?" She almost yelled.
"He can't be at all those places and doing all those things at the same time!" Ron said.
Luna nodded. "Yes he can." She stated matter of factly. "If there's seven of him that is."
Silence.
"What did you say?" Ginny asked, but quickly glanced towards the cupboard; she thought she heard some weird sound coming from it.
"That there are seven Harry Potters." Luna said with raised eyebrows.
Hermione was about to open her mouth and say something, but was cut off by the sound of an explosion. Seconds later Crabbe came flying from around the corner straight into the wall. Not long after that, a very angry looking Harry Potter rounded the corner, he was holding a whimpering Goyle by the neck and suddenly flung him with incredible force along the corridor, making him land about ten feet away from Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Luna.
Harry noticed his four friends standing there, watching him with wide eyes, and open mouths (excluding Luna).
"WHAT?" He retorted. Ron, Hermione and Ginny stumbled backwards at the tone of his voice.
"Hello Wrath." Luna greeted, smiling.
Wrath glared at her and muttered "Hi Luna."
Luna's face turned serious. "You really should control your temper."
"Mind your own –beep-ing business!" Wrath spat.
"You shouldn't be rude either." Luna said in that annoying 'matter of fact' voice of hers. "And you shouldn't swear."
Wrath growled and stepped up to her, hands outstretched as if to strangle her. Although he stopped and just glared at her, his hands itching to hurt her. He gritted his teeth before turning away from her, growling.
"DAMMIT!" He exclaimed. "God damn! Why does it have to be you? I can't –beep-ing hurt you!" He began kicking Crabbe who lay unconscious by the wall. "God dammit! Mother-beep-ing son of a –beep-! Get up so I can kick you down!" He scowled and turned towards the group and called at something behind them. "OI! Lust! Take care of her for me will ya?" He motioned towards Luna.
"I'm a little busy here!" Came a familiar voice from the broom cupboard. The voice sounded as if the owner was running a ten mile marathon. Everybody turned and stared at the door.
"God dammit!" Wrath began tearing his messy hair. "Who is it this time?"
"Uh…I'm not really sure…" Lust panted. "What was you're name again? Oh yeah…Marietta Edgecombe!" He shouted.
Wrath's eyes widened. "WHAT!" He shouted in disbelief. "You'd prefer the 'sneak' instead of Luna Lovegood?"
Lust chuckled. "Well, since I already did Lavender, Parvati,Susan and…DID YOU SAY LUNA LOVEGOOD?" They began to hear loud moaning coming from Marietta, as Lust apparently quickened his pace. "Hold on!" He shouted. "I'm almost done, I'll be right out!"
Ginny turned towards Wrath, an angry look on her face. "What do you mean by 'take care of her'?" She asked. "Are you gonna sell Luna out to some bloody playboy?"
Wrath was too busy kicking Crabbe's unconscious body to notice her.
"Harry, are you listening?" Ginny exclaimed.
Wrath turned towards her with an angry look on his face. "Call me Wrath, okay?" Then he resumed his kicking.
"Wrath?" Ron frowned. "What the-"
Suddenly they heard an all to familiar voice from around the corner.
"Yep, that basilisk was a piece o' cake…" Said the voice, there were a lot of exciting murmuring around it. "I got a nasty bite in the arm though, but I easily healed it with some phoenix tears…." Suddenly the source of the voice showed up around the corner.
Hermione, Ron and Ginny all gawked as Harry Potter (a.k.a Pride) rounded the corner along with a group of excitingly whispering first years.
Pride stopped as he noticed Wrath standing there, kicking the still unconscious Crabbe.
He smiled brightly. "Ah, Wrath! Having fun I see?"
Wrath turned around and glared at Pride. The first years' eyes all widened as they saw his face. They looked from Wrath to Pride and back before turning around and quickly running away from them.
Pride scowled. "Now look what you've done!" He said exasperatedly. "You scared away my audience!"
Wrath rolled his eyes and kept kicking Crabbe, who of course, was still unconscious.
"Hello Pride." Said Luna.
Pride looked at Luna and smiled. "Hey, Luna!" He greeted. "Here to listen to the stories about my greatest deeds, I presume?"
"I'm sorry, but no." Luna shook her head.
Suddenly the door to the broom cupboard opened and Ron, Hermione and Ginny's eyes went if possible even wider as the Harry known as Lust stumbled out, very out of breath. He adjusted his tie and grinned suggestively.
"Wrath you bugger." He said; his eyestraveling from Hermione to Ginny to Luna. "You only mentioned one beauty out here, but I see three."
Wrath snorted as he kept kicking the obviously unconscious Crabbe.
Suddenly Marietta Edgecombe stumbled out of the closet, her eyes grew wide (really, there's a lot of wide eyes here, don't ya think?) as she noticed there were three Harry Potter standing in front of her. She looked at the ceiling before falling to the floor with a thud, fainted.
"I'm gonna escort her to the hospital wing," Pride said as he walked over to her and hoisted her up in his arms. "Aren't I gallant?" He smiled before walking around the corner.
"Very." Lust nodded before turning his attention towards his friends.
"Ginny, Hermione, Luna," He nodded toward each girl in turn, not even acknowledging Ron. "You three look absolutely astonishing today!" Hermione and Ginny both looked down, blushing deeply. Luna just smiled.
"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Yelled a voice.
Everybody turned around to see Draco Malfoy coming towards them. He looked with his mouth agape at the unconscious Goyle in front of him. His eyes grew wide as they fell on Wrath who now stopped kicking at the (you'll never guess!) unconscious Crabbe.
Wrath grinned wickedly as he saw Malfoy. "I've been looking for you." He said as he cracked his knuckles, neck, back and arms.
Malfoy's face paled as Wrath began to quickly walk towards him. He turned on his heels, running as quickly as he could with Wrath at his tail, screaming "Get back here you –beep-ing son of a –beep-!"
Suddenly another Harry (known as Greed) came around the corner, he was panting heavily. "Oi, Wrath!" He shouted. "Wait up!" He made to run after Wrath and Malfoy, but stopped in mid tracks and ran up to Crabbe. He checked his pockets and pulled out some money.
"Only ten sickles!" He exclaimed and punched the (ta-da!) unconscious Crabbe. "Cheap bastard." He muttered before running over to Goyle and checking his pockets too.
"NO MONEY AT ALL?" He shouted in disbelief. "Why you-" He stood up and kicked Goyle a couple of times before running off in the direction Wrath and Malfoy took off into.
Greed left a pretty awkward silence in his wake, which Ron broke by throwing his arms in the air and scream "WHAT IN MERLIN'S BLOODY NAME IS GOING ON?"
Lust smiled and looked at Ron. "Hey Ron, I didn't see you over there." Which was weird, because Lust was standing right next to him. Lust turned to Luna and gently took her hand in his.
"Luna," He whispered softly. "I would be very delighted if you would give me the pleasure to go out with you."
Luna smiled shyly and looked up at him." I would love too," She said and tilted her head. "Friday?"
Before Lust could reply, Hermione spoke up. "We have to talk to professor Dumbledore about this!"
"Yes, something is seriously wrong here!" Ginny exclaimed.
Lust frowned. "I can't see anything that's wrong."
Ginny whirled around and stared at him. "So you're saying that the fact that there are four of you isn't a bad thing?"
Lust grinned. "You're cute when you're mad." Ginny was about to shout something about that comment. Fortunately, Lust was quick to get back on subject. "I wouldn't say that four is that bad," He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Seven is more likely to be bad." He shrugged.
"Seven!" Ron exclaimed.
Luna nodded. "Yes, I told you, didn't I?"
"Of course you did." Lust grinned as he stroked Luna's cheek, making her blush slightly, although smiling all the same.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Alright, let's go already!"
They all began walking quickly towards Dumbledore's office, except Luna, who stayed behind with Lust.
"Luna!" Ginny said, trying to make her hurry up.
"I'd rather stay here with Lust, if it's not a problem." Luna said and glanced at Ginny.
Lust grinned. "Call me Harry. "He said. "We can save 'lust' for later."
Luna smiled. "Alright, 'Harry'."
Ginny rolled her eyes in a very Hermione-ish way and grabbed Luna's arm and began pulling her away.
"You coming?" Ron called to Lust.
"Oh, I can't." He shook his head. "I have a detention with professor Tonks soon."
"Since when did she give you detention?" Ron frowned.
"Oh, she didn't," Lust grinned. "I just thought she might be in need of a little spanking, so I'll go to her office for 'detention'."
"Ah." Ron nodded in understanding as he turned to follow the rest of the group. It took him a couple of seconds however to understand what Harry said, although when he did, his eyes grew wide as quaffles.
"WHAT?" He yelled as he spun around. Lust however, was gone.
(A/N) First chapter done! I know, I made Tonks the new DADA teacher, I thought It'd be fun!
I understand if people gets confused about all the Harrys, but please, try to see the humor in it!
Make me happy! Review!