"Do you really want to be that guy?"

Did he really want to be that guy? That guy. What guy, the one who got to touch her hair and her face after sex without her flinching away? The one who could give her coffee without her thinking it a favor or an imbursement? The guy she could tell about her family, her friends as often as she tells about her surgeries?

She made it sound like a curse.

Was it so bad that he just wants a little time, just a night maybe, with her, away from the smell of sterility? A dinner, a dance; he couldn't care less. Just somewhere where he could see her, really see her. She couldn't wear her scrubs everywhere, could she?

And was it so bad he had imagined something more? Nothing crazy, he just thought… you know, staying in, renting a movie (fighting over which movie), falling asleep together. Or he could cook dinner for her (macaroni and cheese counts as dinner, right?) Was it too much to ask that he be able to give him a part of himself and perhaps, for the same in return?

Preston Burke had never been as unsteady as Cristina Yang made him feel right then.

He looked at Cristina, looking at him with lazy eyes from the cot. Would she leave right now if he had said all that? The moment felt so fragile, so breakable. He opened his mouth to speak.

When did getting yourself a girlfriend get this complicated? He didn't want to her to move. He didn't want her to leave. He wished he didn't have to say whatever it is he had to say next.

For probably the first time in his adult life, he was afraid. Above all, he just did not want to lose her before he had a chance to get her. He knew then that dancing and movie rentals and macaroni and cheese would have to wait. Preston had never lost anything in his life, and he wasn't about to start now.

If holding onto her meant lying to himself (and to her) for a little while, then so be it. This wouldn't be the end of it. He will convince her that there ought to be dancing and movie rentals and macaroni and cheeses. He will make her believe that he can be that guy.

"Lock the door."

Even if he had to wait for now.