AN: Written for the Naruto 500 challenge, "Secret." I love Kisame, he's one of my favorite characters for sure XD (:gasp: but where is the update for trouble sleeping! It's hiding on my computer and in the back of my head because I have too much school work too write more than drabbles right now :( )
Thanks to Nissie-chan for Beta-ing for me, she's the coolest :D Go check out her stuff.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue. Please, for the love of God don't sue me.
Kisame had a secret. A deep, dark, dirty atomic bomb of a secret that would no doubt get him murdered if he ever decided to share it with the rest of the world. Or just Itachi. Especially Itachi. Indeed, he most definitely could never, ever, ever let it slip to Itachi. Oh the horrors that would cause, the pain, the agony, the complete obliteration of his pride.
Because Kisame was not like other Akatsuki members; no sir or madam, he was not. He was special. Obviously. He looked like a damned fish for God's sake. But for other reasons, too. Other unmentionable reasons that would strike horror into the hearts of his partners in crime, send jolts of disgust to even their perverted minds. And oh, how painfully Itachi would kill him; he would rip him apart limb from limb, tear off his head, let his blood splatter on the pristine tiles of the freshly washed kitchen, staining them the crimson red that is filthy dirty nasty vile blood.
Oh damn it, and he had been trying so hard not to let his secret slip. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Really, he had. It wasn't his fault he was clean. It wasn't his fault he preferred the fresh scent of slightly toxic lemons to the stench of sweat and dirt. No, by God, it was Not. His. Fault. that he enjoyed cleaning.
Surely clean shouldn't even be a fault. After all, cleanliness was next to godliness, was it not? And Itachi had taken care of the godliness factor, what with the way those girls all fell at his feet and worshipped him as if he ruled the earth and the sky and could part the sea. Just because he was pretty. And evil. They seemed to like the evil.
Well, Kisame couldn't be pretty, but he sure-as-Hell-was-hot could be clean. And he honestly felt it was his duty to be clean, since Itachi felt it was his duty to play God so often. It was. It was his duty. It was. There was no reason to prosecute him for picking up after someone else. No, that was a reason to praise him. Yes! He deserved thanks and gratitude for his sacrifices, he deserved medals and plaques and trophies of honor for staying neat and tidy in such a filthy profession as his. He deserved to live by God!
THUD. The sound of a door, the echo of footsteps in the corridor (the newly swept and freshly mopped corridor), and then a pause. A shadow fell across the face of the blue-skinned missing nin. A sponge dropped from his frigid grasp, he gulped. Oh God, Itachi was going to kill him.
"Kisame... what are you doing?" It was muttered so low he barely even heard the words.
Oh God, he was going to die. And he hadn't even finished the bathrooms yet.
AN: Review? Pretty please:(