N/A: Ahhhhhh! Ok! Ok! I know I haven't updated in like forever but that's still not a reason on go and try to kill me! JK…I've had like writer's block and I just couldn't think of anything else…

Gai

Gai's answering machine message #1:

Ok…almost got it….How the heck do you work this thing…maybe if I pressed this…beep…beep…click…then it's this button to record a message…(ahem)…Hello you have reached Maito Gai's answering machine! If you would like to leave a message…(incoherent mumbling)…I got to do it over…beep…click…click…beep….

Gai's answering machine message #2:

Oh no…how do I record over what I just did…maybe if I…click…beep…click…(more mumbling)…how does this contraption work!...maybe I should press this…Hello you have reached Maito Gai's answering machine! If you would like to leave a message…no that was playback button…. Hello you have reached Maito Gai's answering machine! If you would like to leave a message…(desperate yells) no no no… Hello you have reached Maito Gai's answering machine! If you would like to leave a message…

Gai's answering machine message #3:

Click…beep…beep…Ok Gai you can do this it's just a stupid machine…(Low beaming voice) Who are you calling a stupid machine?...(Gai's Girly Scream) Eeeekkk! M-my answering machine it-it…(Same low beaming voice)…Talked to you after you so seemly insulted it?

Gai's answering machine message #4:

(Gai)This button must turn it off…no this one…beep…click…(Low Voice) You idiot that's the replay button!...(noisy rewind)….(Low Voice)You idiot that's the replay button!...Click…Click…(Gai)How do you turn this thing off! Aaaachoooo! (Gai's answering machine) Bless you… (Gai) Thank You…

Gai's answering machine message #5:

Beep…(Gai screaming wildly) The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! (Gai's answering machine) Hey! Hey! Watch where the heck you throw that Holy water!

Gai's answering machine message #6:

(Gai's answering machine)You know we could talk about this rationally…(Gai) Yes, it's very rational that I'm talking to my answering machine! (answering machine) I think you have some issues with trusting. Tell me when this started? Usually this kind of emotional damage starts in the early stage of childhood…

Gai's answering machine message #7:

(Weeping Gai)…and then he stole my pet rock Mildred! I couldn't eat! I couldn't sleep! It crushed my poor little heart! (Gai's answering machine) very (Gai) Then there was this other time that a boy named Kyoro wouldn't invite me to his tea party because he said I wasn't cool enough! I wanted so bad to join them and have some tea with those little pink heart shaped cakes! Little pink-heart shaped cakes!

Gai's answering machine message #8:

(Answering machine) There, there here have some Gin…it could do you some good. (Loud slurping sound) Thank you…where was I? Oh yeah then I told Lee, Lee we must be like bamboo hard and straight in times of trouble yet soft and flexible when it comes to our emotions and others. Then we cried and walked into the beautiful sunset…

Gai's answering machine message #9:

(Drunken Gai) Thanks for all this…you know help hic….I never had a friend before…hic if I was ever to have a friend; hic I'm glad that it's you. burp (Gai's sarcastic answering machine) Yes, I feel so happy to know that an thick-eye browed teacher that's still a bachelor has accepted me as a friend…oh joy…I think I should celebrate…(Gai) You should here have some Gin…(Loud splashing sound)…(answering machine)What in blazes! (more gurgling)…

Gai's answering machine message #10:

(Drunken Gai and drunken answering machine) I love you…you love me hic…we're a happy drunken jounin teacher and malfunctioning answering machine…hic with great big hug….and a kiss from me to you hic hic…won't you say you love me…hic…too….

Note: I'm very sorry to say that after Neji, Tenten, and Lee found their drunken teacher singing to an answering machine they brought him to a mental institution…