Cover the mirror, hide in your dreams

Forget what they told you, forget what it means

A picture worth a thousand lies, the memory and the mirror

Nothing but what came before, nothing but a closing door

A picture worth a thousand lies, a thousand words, a thousand eyes

Cover the madness, cover the fear

No one will ever know you were here

A figure in the hallway light, returning like a ghost

Something that was left behind, something in a child's mind

A picture worth a thousand lies, a thousand words, a thousand eyes

A shadow from another time is waiting in the night

Something happened long ago, something that will not let go

Bury my lovely, hide in your room

Bury my lovely, forget me soon, forget me

Forget me now, forget me now

("Bury my lovely" by October Project)

Author's note:

I liked the fifth period best. Not because of the Star Lights appearing. Not because of Haruka and Michiru returning. But because of Hotaru being Sailor Saturn again. The most powerful senshi of them all. Even more powerful than Sailor Uranus. And the most frightening one. She's able to destroy the whole world with her scythe. One wink is enough and the whole universe stops to exists.

Nice power. Scary power. Welcomed power?

That was the question that simply didn't leave me in peace. Whenever I saw Sailor Saturn fighting with her huge powers and everyone tries to hinder her, that everyone is frightened of her, I thought of smiling Hotaru playing with her cards with Chibiusa. And I asked myself if Hotaru really wanted this power. If she wanted the eternal power to kill them all. If she was happy to be that senshi.

Or if she wanted to ran away badly.

I got the answer while listening to the song "Bury my lovely" by October Project. So I write it down. Maybe I write more about Hotaru in this story, but for all Haruka and Michiru fans, don't worry, they're still her loving parents.

Disclaimer: All senshi belong to Takeuchi Naoko, however the story is mine. This story is for people at the age of 14 and older. Some scenes in chapter five are more for people around 16 and older. (rolls her eyes: This is NOT a lemon).

If you want to ask me some questions or if you have any comments about this story: Feel free to write to aprileaglefreenet.de . I'll answer every letter. I promise.

This story is for my Adri-chan and my Laura-chan who waited long enough for it. Enjoy it -.

And the Sejya in this story is for you, Orion -.

Guess my most favourite character is indeed Hotaru. If I had been her, I would have covered all those mirrors, too.

Don't ya know

(by April Eagle)

Prologue: A mirror's reflection

It was dark in the room.

Black curtains covered the windows, excluded the warm sunshine. Only some little lamps tried to bright up the small room, the little life. But they weren't powerful enough.

It was cold in the room.

She laid under her thin blanket and froze. Her little body shivered. So little. So fragile. So ill. She coughed and tried to stand up. To leave this bed she hated so much. To leave this room. To escape this life she didn't want to live any longer. Not after she had seen the fear in her friend's eyes. Now there were no friends left. She hurt them all. She, the witch.

It was silent in the room.

Nothing could be heard. The window pointed out to a big garden. The street was at the other side of the house. Not even the cars could disturb her sleep. A sleep she simply couldn't find any longer. Partly because of the pain that raged in her little body. It got worse and worse with every day. The attacks got more and more frequently and not even the medicine her father gave her could alleviate them any longer. But she could bare it. She always had bare it. Her whole life. She couldn't remember another time. A happier time. She could bare it. Not like the pain raging in her heart.

Please...

She wanted to cry it out loud. But there was no one around. She knew it. Her father was at work and that bloody woman... she didn't care about her. She wasn't her daughter, not even a relative. She was nothing. No one would realize when she would die. No one would mourn. No one would remember...

Please...

She felt as if she was already dead. As if she was buried in this house. For all times. Until her weak heart would finally give up. At last. After endless suffering. Senseless suffering.

Please...

It took her all her powers to turn her head and to stare at the picture that stood next to her bed on a small table. It showed her together with another girl. Her best friend. Her only friend. She lost her, too. Because of her stupid body. Of her bloody illness. Of her cursed soul.

Please...

On that picture she had laughed. It was the only moment she could remember that she had been happy. In those soft but the same time so strong arms. For hours she could have listened to that always happy voice. For days she could have watched into deep always shinning eyes. For eternity she could have stayed this way. In her embracement. Feeling for only a tiny moment in her life that she was loved.

Please...

She heard how the bell rang. Then the door was opened and two voices shouted at each other. They argued and her dark eyes grew wide as she recognized the higher voice. Her voice.

It can't be...

She wanted to shook her head but groaned slightly as that motion hurt more than she could bare. Her father already gave her some pain killers. But they didn't work any longer. They couldn't bring her any health any longer. All they could give her was a silent death. One day. Hopefully soon.

Please...

"Hotaru?" The door was opened and a girl entered the dark room. She smiled surprised. Not only a girl, but her girl. Her eyes sparkled happily and she felt how the young girl knelt down next to her on the hard mattress of her narrow bed and took her icy hand.

Her hand is so soft. So warm. So lively.

"Are you okay? Hotaru!" There were tears in those big eyes she loved so much. Tears she wanted to wipe away. But she didn't even have the power any more to raise her hand and to stroke calming over redden cheeks.

Little darling...

She didn't even have the power any longer to speak.

I love you...

"Hotaru! Say a word..." Now those wonderful tears were wetting that beautiful face. The little girl started terribly to sob and she wondered why she cried. She was dying, she knew it. But that was good. Finally it all would be over. Finally she would have her peace, her freedom. Finally she wouldn't be bound to that weak body any longer. And she knew, she would never really leave that beautiful girl. Not as long as she could be her guardian angel.

"Taru..."

At that moment the red haired bitch entered the room. She wanted to scream that she shouldn't take away the girl from her. That her little darling should stay by her side, that she didn't want to die all alone. That she wanted to die in those soft arms, but she had no powers. All she could do was to stare helpless how her father's assistant took the now screaming girl in her arms and pulled her rudely out of the room.

"TARU!"

The scream was full of despair and sadness. It hurt more than every injection, than every attack. Than every bone that broke in her body when she was a small child. When her mother died. When her father decided to let her live - although she was already dead. Deep inside...

Please...

She felt tears in her eyes as well. Felt how it got more and more complicate to breath. Felt how her whole body refused to move any longer. How her heart stopped to beat.

Please, don't leave me alone, little darling.

She got more and more tired. Still hearing the other girl's screams. Until they silenced.

Please, love me, little darling.

The last thing she saw was a closing door. Then she gave up and welcomed the darkness that surrounded her.

Happily she held the toy bunny in the air and laughed loudly as a tender hand stroke through her fluffy dark hairs.

"Do you really think that it was such a good idea?"

She heard the low voice and turned her head. And spread her arms towards the tall woman standing on the other side of her cradle.

"Of course. She loves you, don't you see it?" laughed another voice teasing and the little girl felt loved and satisfied.

"Sure, because she doesn't know me yet." Declared the tall woman and balanced the hot bottle in her hands. It was filled with milk and she knew that it tasted the small girl in the cradle. Her father was in Kyoto the next week and he asked them to take care for her. She groaned and came very, very slowly nearer.

And of course Michi agreed!

"Ruka!" Michiru rose and walked over to the kitchen to look after their supper. Her lover was old enough to heat the baby's bottle up, but she was surely not old enough to take care for a whole dinner.

She would burn it.

Michiru giggled and knelt down before the oven to look at their Lasagne.

"Are you hungry?" asked Haruka and looked helpless over to the kitchen. But Michiru cared for their food and it didn't look as if she would return soon. The little girl in her cradle stretched her arms even wider and looked greedy at the bottle in her hands. "Sure you are." She looked again over to the kitchen but she knew that she couldn't await any help from her lover.

That's typical Michiru! She offers her help and then I have to do everything!

Haruka sighed deeply and put the bottle down on the table. Then she knelt down before the cradle and looked for some seconds thoughtful at the little girl. Then she reached into the cradle and wondered why her hands shook so suddenly.

Hopefully she doesn't start to cry yet! Please, don't start to cry! I can't see little children cry!

She took a deep breath before she took the baby in her arms. But nothing happened. The little girl didn't start to scream. Not even to whimper. Instead she grabbed for blonde strands and started again to laugh happily. Haruka looked down into the shinning face for some seconds and gulped. And gulped again. And automatically rocked the little baby.

"Himme-chan..."

It wasn't more than a shaky whisper. She knew who this baby was. The future senshi of death. An outer senshi. A part of the Sailor family. And doctor Tomoe's daughter. But somehow... somehow she had been afraid to touch her. The past six months she avoided it to get closer with the little baby who always looked at her with her big, purple eyes. After Hotaru died and became Mistress nine and Sailor Saturn all in one Haruka didn't know what to do. She had been confused with her feelings and her thoughts. She wanted to destroy that evil enemy who wanted to destroy the whole world. But the same time she wanted to protect the youngest senshi. And she wanted to rescue the girl behind the mighty scythe. That confusion got worse and worse after Sailor Moon was able to save Hotaru and to gave her a second chance, a second life. Slowly the confusion turned into anger and then into fear. A fear Haruka would have never admitted to herself.

"Little princess..."

The fear of losing her again. Michiru and she had lived in Mugen Gakkuen, the school Hotaru's father founded, and there they got to know the little, always ill child. And they got to love her.

Haruka gulped again and closed her eyes to enjoy the warm baby in her arms. To hear her fast breaths. To feel her tiny heart beat next to her own slower one. As she opened her eyes again she saw Michiru standing next to her. She smiled tenderly and messed her blonde hairs.

"Don't you think the great daddy should feed the cute, little daughter?" she teased and frowned as she saw suddenly tears sparkling in dark green eyes. Tears she had hardly ever seen in her lover's eyes.

Daddy?

Daughter?

"Hey, we're just 19. We're too young to have a daughter." Answered Haruka in her typical low voice and went over to the couch and sat down. The next minutes they spent watching little Hotaru drinking her milk. Then she did her burp and yawned tiredly.

"Do you really think so?" smiled Michiru and leaned against her girlfriend's shoulder.

"Nani?"

Haruka knew that she had to lay the little girl back into her cradle. Hotaru was tired and she would sleep the rest of the night - or at least the next five hours if they were happy. But somehow she couldn't. Somehow she wanted to hold her tight that way. Not only for the next five minutes. Not only for the following week. But for the rest of her life.

"I mean, are we really too young for a daughter?"

Dark green eyes grew wide and Haruka held Hotaru tighter in her strong arms while she watched her girlfriend for some seconds in silence.

"Do you want to have a baby?" she asked silently. And a little bit sad. Because she knew that she would never be the father of Michiru's child. She was a woman, too. And still medicine wasn't ready to graduate them their greatest dream.

"Maybe." Giggled Michiru and leaned forward to kiss her lover. She giggled even more as tiny hands grabbed her sea green hairs and held them determinedly tight. "At least for the next week."

With those words Michiru jumped from the couch and took again care for their supper. Haruka only shrugged her shoulders and took Michiru's mirror in her hands. Her girlfriend liked it a lot and it laid always on the living room's table. Without thinking she put it into Hotaru's stretched arms. The little girl liked it how the setting's sunshine was reflected in the sparkling glass. She babbled some sounds and turned the mirror around and around.

"Maybe not parents..." Haruka sighed slightly and stroke thoughtful over dark hairs. Not wanting to admit that the little girl felt fantastic in her arms. That it felt right to hold her that way. "But maybe loving aunts... what do ya think, little princess?"

The sunshine broke and the mirror was suddenly filled with shadows. Little Hotaru frowned and her laughter died away. The smile faded from her tiny face and suddenly tears sparkled in her eyes. She touched the glass with her hands and at the next moment her dark eyes grew wide. Loudly she started to cry and threw the mirror away. It cracked as it hit the ground.

Nani?

Haruka frowned as the little girl suddenly started to cry in her arms. She saw big tears running down redden cheeks and tried to comfort her. But little Hotaru didn't want any comfort. She simply cried on and on and didn't stop again.

"Michi?" Haruka rose from the couch while rocking the little girl who clenched her fists and got redder and redder in her face. As if she was going to asphyxiate. "Michiru!"

The next moment her girlfriend was by her side. She looked as concerned down at the screaming baby as Haruka and not even her funny faces which mostly made Hotaru laugh couldn't cheer the baby up.

"What have you done, Ruka?" asked Michiru and took the crying girl in her arms. But little Hotaru simply kept crying and not even the calm young woman could comfort her. "She looks so terrified - has anything happened?"

"No..."

For some seconds startled green eyes looked into asking blue ones.

"Maybe she gets her first teeth." Suspected Michiru and walked through the whole living room with the little girl in her arms. But Hotaru kept crying and clenching her fists.

"Maybe..."

At that moment the telephone rang. Haruka and Michiru exchanged again glances and the tall blonde went over to the kitchen to answer the phone. The sea goddess started to hum a sweet melody as her lover returned two minutes later. Michiru knew at the moment that something bad happened. Haruka was very pale and there was a look in dark green eyes Michiru never wanted to see again. Not after the battle in the St. Marien's cathedral. Not after the final battle against Mistress nine.

"Ruka?" she asked, still rocking the little girl in her arms. Her girlfriend didn't seem to hear her. She stepped nearer and stroke calming over Hotaru's wet cheeks. Michiru gulped as she saw how much her lover's hands trembled.

"Ruka?"

"Guess now you'll have your chance to be a good mother, Michi..." whispered Haruka after a long moment of silence and wiped away more tears streaming down Hotaru's cheeks. The baby screamed and cried and didn't want to stop again.

"Ruka?" asked Michiru and felt the panic growing inside her body. Inside her chest. Inside her stomach. Suddenly she felt very, very sick.

"It was the hospital who called us up. A Dr. Tawaga." Haruka swallowed hard and simply embraced her Michi with the little girl in her arms. "Dr. Tomoe had a deadly accident."

"Mommy! I JUMP!"

The little girl laughed out loud as she jumped from the basin rim right into her mother's wide opened arms. Michiru giggled and held her Hotaru tight for some moments. Before she let her go again and the little girl swam into the nice water like a fish. She was now almost five years old and she loved the wet element. Just like her mommy. Every evening they took a long bath in the house's swimming pool. Normally Haruka joined them. But today was the last race of this year's grand prix of Japan. She didn't have to win it. She already got enough points so that no one would reach her. But she said that it would be unfair to hang lazy around while the other racers did their very best. They all earned a fair and good opponent.

Hope you'll win.

It was in the middle of August. Normally Michiru took Hotaru and they both watched Haruka race. And win. And laugh. And be splashed with all that champagne. And to embrace her family afterwards. But Hotaru had been ill the past week and she didn't want her flu to return. It hadn't been dangerous but Michiru could be very frightened if anything happened to her daughter. Just like Haruka.

Hope you're awake today. After you was awake almost every night the past week.

Haruka didn't want to sleep as long as Hotaru had high fever. The whole nights she sat there at the tiny bed and held a sweaty hand in her strong ones. To tell with her low voice silent fairy tales. To cheer Hotaru up. To cool her hot forehead. To be simply be there whenever the little girl needed her.

Michiru smiled up to the sunset and threw the ball carefully back her daughter discovered in the even water.

Hope you'll beat them all, honey.

"Catch!" Hotaru laughed happily as she threw the big water ball again. It was purple. Her most favourite colour. It splashed as it returned and dark hairs pasted wet to her forehead. Hotaru grinned as she took it again in her hands and held it over her head. Again she wanted to throw it as she saw the shadow. Beneath her. In the water. Under the surface.

A birdie?

She lowered her head and frowned as she saw the shadow. Standing next to her. Embracing another shadow. Another person. A person she knew. She loved. With all her little heart.

Daddy...

The ball fell out of her hands and suddenly she started to tremble.

Daddy?

She swallowed hard and tears streamed suddenly over her cheeks. She didn't see her mommy's shocked face. Nor did she hear the concerned voice. All she realized was the shadow in the water's reflection threatening the ones she loved.

"Daddy!"

She didn't hear her own voice screaming any longer. Hotaru only turned around and jumped out of the water and raced through the whole house. Leaving wet puddles on the soft carpets. Her shaking hands grabbed the phone and although she was a little girl she knew the number by heart. She had often dealt it. When she had been too small to go to the race track.

"Can I talk to my daddy?" she commanded and sobbed even harder. "Please, Shinji! Please, I wanna talk to my daddy..." she cried even louder and didn't even hear the confusion in the male voice at the other side of the phone. A concerned voice who asked if anything happened to her or to her mommy.

"Shinji... please... daddy..." she stammered. Not being aware that Michiru just entered the house and stared at her with big blue eyes. How she went next to her on her knees and wrapped a soft towel around her shaking body before she took her trembling daughter into her warm arms.

Himme-chan, what's wrong?

She could hear her lover's excited voice in the phone the next moment. Someone yelled in the background that they had only five minutes left until the race would begin. Shortly Haruka snapped back that she already had the title and that she wanted to talk to her daughter. And that she would start - later. Even if she was on the last position.

Hey, little princess, everything okay with you and your mommy?

Hotaru only sobbed loudly and nodded although her daddy couldn't see it.

"Hai..." she cried and held the phone tighter in her hands. "Please, daddy, don't you ever leave me. Please!" she cried and trembled even more. Michiru automatically held her tighter and tears sparkled in her blue eyes.

I will never leave you, Himme-chan. answered Haruka and snapped again back to someone in the background who wanted to force her back to her car. Michiru was too concerned to be angry that her lover used naughty words in the presence of their daughter.

"Promise, daddy?"

I promise, little princess. Michiru could almost hear the tender smile on her girlfriend's face. Can I talk to your mommy?

"Love ya, daddy."

Love ya, too, Himme-chan.

There was the sound of a tender kiss and then the phone was handled to Michiru. She wanted to say something as she heard the loud crash on the other side of the phone. People were suddenly yelling and running around and she heard how her lover shouted at some guys and walked through the room. Splinters were crunching under her feet. Splinters of broken glass.

"Ruka?" Michiru held the phone again to her ear and looked into purple eyes. She could see her own pale face into the tear's reflection. Could see how frightened her daughter was. The little girl trembled even more and suddenly embraced her mommy with all her powers.

"Ruka?"

Hey, honey, what's up?

Michiru closed for some seconds her eyes and took a deep breath as she heard her lover's teasing voice.

"Are you alright?"

Of course, Michi. I am fine. There was something in Haruka's voice that made Michiru shiver. It sounded like a silent sob the young car racer couldn't hold back any longer. And I guess I'll be a little bit earlier home this evening, Michi. 'Cause I don't think that I'll take part in that last race any longer.

Michiru opened her eyes again and saw directly into her daughter's face. Saw the hopeful smile between all those tears. Like the sun shinning again after a heavy thunderstorm. The little girl heard her daddy's voice through the phone and knew that her daddy was right. That was all she needed to know. Hotaru smiled happily and crept deeper into her mommy's warm embrace. Felt how she started to stroke through her black hairs. Knew that everything was fine. That her family was safe. That she was loved.

"What happened, Ruka?"

I have no idea, if you still have the receipt of that delicious ice cream. I kinda wanna eat some of it this evening... Michiru could hear the gulp in Haruka's voice and there were many excited voices in the background. And the noise of the fire brigade. I wanna eat it with you and our Himme-chan...

"Ruka? What happened?" asked Michiru again and decided to call a taxi the next minutes. To get to the arena as fast as possible. To be there for her lover. And to take her home.

I... I have no idea... again Haruka gulped at the other side of the phone and more people yelled in the background. The siren of the fire brigade was now very near and Michiru almost missed Haruka's next words. Very silent words. Almost like a whisper.

My car exploded, Michi...

She opened the fridge and stroke some strands of her shoulder long hairs behind her ears. Shortly she looked at the content and smiled satisfied. No one had touched her chocolate cake she made the last evening. Not even her daddy who looked very greedy while her auntie helped her to make it.

It's her most favourite cake.

Although it was normal that she invited her best friend she was a little bit excited. Of course they would spend the half evening playing with the dolls her best friend would bring with her and the rest of the evening they would sneak under her bed's blanket and watch a horror video. Hoping that her parents wouldn't find out. They weren't children any longer. They were already nine and eight years old and loved every scary movie – until they had to go into the cellar to get some tins for supper.

Only one hour.

Hotaru looked down at her watch and giggled as the voices raised near. She closed the fridge and corrected the sheet of paper showing one sentence in big letters: Eat this and you'll regret it. Still no one touched it. Still. But Hotaru knew that her daddy would look at her with her big green eyes and plead silently for a piece. Just like her best friend always did.

"I won't let Michi play again on such a big stage!" yelled a very angry voice and Hotaru sighed deeply.

"And why not? She's a violinist, Haruka! She needs her music and the show. And still she's not..." The other voice was the same angry and the same low. Hotaru shrugged her shoulders and went over to the living room. She was used to those arguments. The two persons standing near to the opened window and staring at each other with sparkling eyes never liked each other. As Hotaru grew up she got to know that. She loved her daddy and she liked uncle Sejya a lot. But together – that was a deadly combination.

"I won't let my pregnant wife play any longer on those stages. Not until our child is born!" Haruka clenched her fists and made her point clear.

"You're only jealous of her talent!" Sejya clenched his fists, too and wind played with his long dark hairs he had bound together on his back, as always.

Hotaru sighed deeply and leaned against the wall to watch them. With a laughing and a crying face as her best friend always called it when her own mommy and the priestess of Crystal Tokyo argued.

"I am only concerned about her health and our child!"

"YOUR child? Don't you tell me that you..."

"Our child!"

"But you're two women... how..."

"Medicine improved a lot during the past years, Sejya."

"Nani?"

Hotaru rolled her eyes again as she saw how they both got more and more excited. There used to be only little, only harmless fights between them the past years. But since the past autumn Sejya got more and more irritated. The slightest problem grew to a world war for him and Haruka simply had a too hot temper than to overhear his exaggerated reactions. He shouted with mostly no reason and of course the tall blonde had to shout back. It seemed to be their nature to be angry with each other. Although Hotaru never understood it. She liked them both a lot.

Maybe it's because his family went away...

Hotaru frowned as they both grabbed after each other's collars to beat each other – again. As they did a lot during the past five months. Since princess Kakyuu decided to go back to her home planet and to try to rebuild it again Sejya was often very depressed and in a very bad mood. That mood didn't change when Tahiki and Yaten decided to go with their princess. The whole Sailor Team had been shocked when Setsuna declared that she would go with her Yaten and return whenever they needed her. That right now no enemy was threatening Crystal Tokyo and the earth and that she only wanted to be happy with her Yaten. Usagi agreed and so they left, too. Only Sejya stayed. He didn't say a reason why he didn't go with them. Why he didn't want to return to his home planet. Hotaru once had heard how her mommy and her daddy talked over him. How her mommy said that he only stayed because of the queen and that he somehow still hoped to be loved by her. Her daddy only shrugged her shoulders and responded that he was a real baka. Although Hotaru didn't understand. She knew the queen. She was a very, very nice person and she loved all persons in her kingdom. Of course she loved uncle Sejya, too. Once she told that the queen and Usagi had looked very sad for some seconds. Then she had hugged her best friend's daughter and declared her that she was a cute child and that she would understand later. When she was older.

"You baka!"

"You idiot!"

"You jerk!"

"You asshole!"

They looked like two animals. Like two tigers ready for the final jump.

At that moment the lion stepped between them and looked very critically at them – as if they were two little children behaving wrongly.

"Haruka! Sejya!" Ami looked at them in anger. She was still holding a thick folder in her hands and sighed deeply. "Can't you just once shut up? I want to learn! Is that so hard? It's the last exam and I want to pass it."

At that point her daddy started to grin and Hotaru had to giggle, too as auntie Ami blushed deeply.

"You mean, you want to be the best. No one doubts, that you'll pass, Ami."

The water senshi coughed and held her folder tighter in her hands. "I am not that sure. Not since May-chan makes our nights to days." She yawned and turned around to go back into the garden where she hoped to get a little bit peace to learn. And not to fall asleep.

Mayumi.

Hotaru grinned as she remembered her niece. And her best friend. Right after the princess of Crystal Tokyo. A cute little girl with blue hairs. She was auntie Ami's daughter and she was now two years old. Her parents had been shocked when the medicine student told them that she was pregnant. She didn't tell them who the father was nor how she managed to get pregnant. But all the other aunts helped her and they were very crazy about the little girl with the intelligent eyes – and the wild temper. Auntie Mina often complaint that it was all Haruka's fault. That she was for too long the baby sitter and that every girl in her near automatically got very wild. Hotaru could remember how loud her daddy had laughed and only declared that she, Minako, wasn't any better. At that point the famous singer who started a solo career some years ago blushed deeply and whispered some words while she tried to catch her best friend's daughter.

Hotaru still leaned against the wall and watched how the blue haired woman walked outside the garden and looked into her folder. She wanted to finish her studies the last year, but then her daughter was born and she simply needed one year of peace and rest. That year she spent mostly here to relax. Mostly auntie Minako was around when she wasn't on tour and teased the medicine student around. Just like the little girl who loved the crazy singer soon almost as much as her real mother. Since that year Hotaru wanted to have a little sister. Just like her parents suddenly wanted to have a baby, too. They often walked to the hospital and now her mommy was pregnant. Still Hotaru didn't understand what happened and how it all worked, but she knew that she would get a little sister and that was all that counted. Her best friend was jealous but mostly she was as happy as she was.

Haruka just turned around and looked again at Sejya.

"No. And that's my last word!" she growled and then went over to her daughter. "When shall we fetch up Chibiusa?" she asked and stroke loving over messed dark hairs almost touching shaking shoulders. Because her daughter had to giggle. Her cheeks were redden and she looked simply happy.

"Little darling surely needs another half an hour." Giggled Hotaru and looked again at her watch. "Can we go in about ten minutes?" she smiled happily and couldn't await to show her best friend her new card game. To play it with her. And to tease her around whenever she lost.

"Of course. Get your jacket and your shoes." Said Haruka and went over to the kitchen. To make herself a coffee to calm down her nerves. She almost did it again. She almost hit Sejya again – although she promised her wife not to lose control again.

Sejya clenched his fist again and looked again out of the window. Hotaru was wise enough not to disturb him. Instead she run out to the corridor to get her jacket. It was in the middle of summer and it was very hot but the wind could be dangerous and she didn't want to get a flu.

Little darling...

She grinned and turned shortly towards the mirror to comb her messed hairs again. No matter what she did she always looked like a tomboy. Just like her mommy always said. With a little pride in her voice.

Hope she won't eat my chocolate...

Hotaru froze in motion as she saw the sunlight being reflected in the mirror. Just like her own person. Being suddenly very pale. Then she saw what she had felt during the past seconds. What made her shiver. What made her whole body tremble, her whole head ache. The shadow crept slowly nearer. She couldn't see the face. She had never been able to see the face, nor the eyes. But she knew the appearance. The shadow who was a little bit taller than her. And who was threatening. Whenever it appeared something evil was happening.

Please...

She held her breath and the next moment she shook her head in disbelieve as she saw the other person right behind her. Being embraced by the shadow. Being almost covered by its darkness.

No...

Hotaru hang her jacket over the mirror and turned around. She jumped upstairs, taking two steps at once.

"Mommy!" her scream filled the whole house by the sea just like tears filled her purple eyes.

No, not her!

She crashed the door to her parent's sleeping room and crossed it while she stumbled over different clothes laying on the ground. Her mother obviously wanted to take a shower.

"Mommy!" again she screamed and wanted to open the door to her parent's bathroom. But it was locked. She shook it and tried to open it, but she wasn't strong enough. "Mommy!" now she cried and kicked against the door. But no one answered. Not even the slightest sound could be heard.

No, please, don't take her away from me. I need her. We all need her.

Hotaru sobbed even harder and felt suddenly strong arms taken her carefully away from the door. She raised her head and looked shortly into concerned green eyes. Her daddy was the same pale she was.

"Michi?" Haruka frowned and knocked against the door. No one answered. "Darling? Are you alright?" Another knock. Again no response.

Nani?

"Michiru!" Now Haruka raised her voice and gulped. Shortly she looked around and saw directly in Hotaru's terrified eyes. Knowing that something terrible just happened. Somehow. She couldn't define that feeling but it was like death fear. A fear she didn't feel during the past years. Not since they defeated Galactica.

"Darling? I am coming in!" shouted Haruka and carefully pushed her daughter out of the way. She didn't notice how Ami and Sejya entered the room, too. She only took all her powers and kicked the door. The lock broke immediately and the door cracked with a loud noise against the tiles.

"Michi?" Haruka didn't see the blood that covered the soft carpet next to a filled tube. She didn't hear Hotaru's sobs nor the other's shocked gasps. She only saw her angel. Kneeling right in the middle of that red sea. Holding her stomach and making a painful face. Tears were streaming over her shrunken cheeks and as Haruka embraced her carefully she felt how much her wife trembled.

"Michi?"

Haruka swallowed hard while Ami bit hard on her lower lip and took a crying Hotaru in her arms. She knew what happened. She had seen that a lot during her education and she knew that she couldn't help the life that just extinguished. Without ever having the chance of existing. All they could do was to take care for Michiru the best they could. To comfort her and to make her sure that it wasn't her fault.

Sejya gasped again for breath. Then he turned around and Ami could hear him running downstairs. Surely to call the ambulance.

"Michi?" Haruka rocked her wife tenderly and kissed those wet cheeks. Kneeling next to her in the blood. Feeling how tears ran down her cheeks as well.

"Gomen, Ruka..." sobbed Michiru and tried to creep deeper into her wife's arms. "I lost our little one."

She sat down behind the steering wheel and took automatically the sunglasses on. A smile bloomed on her face as she reached for the seat belt and put it over her grown belly. For some seconds she touched it and whispered some soft words to the unborn child in her womb.

"Is it really okay? I know that the palace is on the other end of the city. I can take the bike and..."

Haruka looked up and shook her head.

"No problem, princess. Just get in. We'll be at the palace in less than ten minutes." She smiled and automatically Hotaru grinned back, taking her own sunglasses on. She jumped into the car and put her back bag on the back seat. Then she winked to her mommy who stood on the balcony and held a violin in her arms. The past year had been very hard for all of them. But her mommy found comfort in her daddy and in her music. And since the past December they all were happy again. Since a wonder happened.

Hotaru took her own seat belt and saw how her daddy searched for nice music in the CD player. Christmas was now five months ago and now they all could see under the light clothes her daddy wore that the fast car racer awaited a little child. A little girl as they got to know just two weeks ago. Since that day the sun seemed to be brighter, the green seemed to be greener and the whole world seemed to be greater.

My sis.

Hotaru grinned as her daddy speeded up. Of course Michiru tried to hinder Haruka to drive the silver Ferrari any longer but still the doctor allowed her to drive and Haruka used every chance she got. Just like this time. Soon they reached the speed limit and crossed it. Hotaru sighed happily as the wind played with her hairs and enjoyed every second of that drive. Soon crazy punk music filled the air. Since the pregnancy her daddy changed her music style a little bit. She stopped listening to calm classic music and preferred rock, especially wild punk music. Michiru always teased her around that this child would be born a punk rocker but Haruka only laughed and said that it would be at least better than every song someone from a boy group could ever sing. After that statement Sejya got very angry and they argued again.

"When shall I fetch you up again, Himme-chan?" asked Haruka while she observed the road if there was any police around. She didn't mind the tickets. She had enough money to pay them. But Michiru's sad look each time when she found out that her pregnant wife raced again her Ferrari, she didn't want to upset her love.

"Oh, just take your time at hospital, daddy." Laughed Hotaru who knew that her daddy hated those hospitals as much as she. "The king will take me home if..." Hotaru turned around and pulled her sunglasses into her shoulder long hairs. She looked at her daddy with that pleading expression in her eyes that always made strong Haruka weak. Just like ice in the sunshine.

"Daddy... today is Friday and tomorrow there's no school. And little darling got this cute guinea pig and we want to play with it and... please, can't I stay with her till tomorrow? Pleeeeasseee, daaaaddy." Hotaru blinked once, twice and got her daddy where she wanted her to be. Haruka sighed deeply and looked shortly over to her daughter who was only ten years old. Very young. Too young. But she knew that Chibiusa was her best friend and that the queen and the king would take care for Hotaru the same they did for Chibiusa. She knew that the little girl was safe there and that nothing would happen to her.

"Did you ask your mother?"

"Well..." said Hotaru who had feared that question and blinked again with her big purple eyes. Haruka giggled and shook her head amused. "Okay, little princess. But no thrillers and you'll go to bed at eight in the evening. And you'll be nice to the king and the queen –and to that poor guinea piggy."

Hotaru grinned happily and leaned satisfied back in her seat.

"Okay, daddy. I promise." She grinned even wider and put her sunglasses again over her eyes. "Arigato, daddy."

Haruka only nodded and concentrated again on the traffic. They were now nearer Crystal Tokyo and there were more cars here than along the beach.

For the next traffic lights they listened to wild music. The tall blonde and her daughter thinking of how they wanted to create their evenings. Haruka had suddenly the desire to go out with her Michi-chan. Into an expensive restaurant and to dance the whole night – as long as she wasn't a complete walrus yet and was still able to dance or even to move. Hotaru dreamed of the guinea pig and of her best friend creeping closer under the blanket to her whenever the murderer found a new victim in those thrillers while she ate one candy after another.

Hotaru turned her head and looked into the rear view mirror. There was no car behind them. Only a biker they overtook some bents ago. It was very hot outside and the asphalt seemed to sparkle. The dark asphalt...

They stopped again at a red traffic light and Hotaru simply couldn't look away from the mirror while her daddy cursed about all those red lights. The street beneath was indeed dark. And it seemed to move. First very, very slowly. But as they speeded up again she could see how the darkness followed her. How the shadow rose from it and came nearer and nearer. Again there was another person in that mirror. Sad eyes looked directly at Hotaru who gasped hard for breath as she recognized that person.

No...

The shadow with no face, with no name, with no voice, embraced that person and tried to cover it. To take it away with it. To take it away from her. Forever.

"NO!" Hotaru screamed out loud and the Ferrari slipped over the whole road while Haruka broke hard. She kicked the radio out and turned towards her daughter. Being very pale in her face. With one hand she held her grown belly, with the other one she shook her daughter's shoulder. But Hotaru only sat on her seat. Automatically she brought her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. Tears streamed over her face and she looked shocked. And deeply hurt.

"What's wrong, princess?" asked Haruka alarmed. She didn't know what was going on but she knew that her daughter would never behave that silly. Hotaru was old enough to make a difference between a bad joke and reality. And how her body trembled, it felt damn real.

What the hell...?

"Himme-chan?" Haruka shivered as her daughter took away the sunglasses and her tear filled eyes grew wide. They looked as if the little girl had seen a ghost.

"Himme-chan?"

"Where lives uncle Sejya?" asked Hotaru and looked searching around. She couldn't recognize that area of Crystal Tokyo and panic grew inside her belly, made her feeling sick and tired. And very sad. "Where's uncle Sejya?"

Nani?

Haruka looked directly into her daughter's eyes and nodded slowly.

"You are concerned about Sejya, aren't you, Himme-chan?"

Hotaru only nodded and more tears streamed over her face.

"Do you want to see him?"

Haruka gulped as Hotaru only nodded again and buried her face in her arms to cry even more.

Hell, why is she so terrified?

The tall blonde turned her car around and drove as fast as she could through the inner city of Crystal Tokyo. She didn't know why she did that. She hated Sejya. But she loved her daughter. And she would have done everything just to take away Hotaru's fears. Whatever frightened her that much.

The radio kept off and ten minutes later they arrived at the skyscraper Sejya lived in since princess Kakyuu and the others left the earth to return to their home planet. It was a small apartment Haruka only knew from some photos. But she knew that she would get to know it today. She parked the car and looked shortly at her still crying daughter.

What if this all isn't just a girl's fantasy?

Haruka gulped hard and stroke calming over dark hairs.

"I am right back, Himme-chan. Don't move. I am just fetching uncle Sejya and then you'll see that everything is alright, okay?"

"Okay." Whispered Hotaru and sobbed quietly. She heard how her daddy left the car. How she went over to the lift and cursed because it took too long. She heard how her daddy decided for the staircase instead and chased the steps with her long legs.

"Okay..."

Please, let it all be just a bad nightmares. Please, let him be healthy. Please...

She sobbed even harder and remembered all those times the young man with that always so sad look in his blue eyes had been so friendly to her. How he played with her and her card game. She knew him since she could remember and her mommy sometimes told her the story that happened during her second year. That the Three Lights came to earth to fight with them against Galactica. Hotaru had been too tiny. She spent almost all of that time with her granny. With her daddy's mommy she loved very much.

Please, let it all be just a bad illusion of the sunlight.

Please...

That moment she heard the shot. It was near. Only one or two floors above. Just where her uncle lived...

Hotaru raised her head and still were tears streaming over her cheeks. But she couldn't hear anything. Not a second shot, not even a scream. Nothing.

I hate that silence.

She gulped hard and slowly left the car. She didn't dare to lock it. All she cared about were the ones she loved. Slowly she walked into the lift and pushed the bottoms her auntie Usagi once showed her. When she and Chibiusa had visit uncle Sejya shortly before auntie Kakyuu went away.

"You baka!" the silence was interrupted by her daddy's low voice. A suddenly very shaky voice. It wasn't as angry as it always was when Haruka argued with Sejya. This time it was more silent. And softer.

"What the hell did you think you're doing? Can you explain that to me, you total jerk!"

Hotaru stepped out of the lift and went over to the apartment. The door was opened and she could see her daddy walking excited through the room behind. Sejya was there, too. Hotaru almost screamed out loud as she saw that he was alive. That he breathed. That he didn't go with the shadow of her nightmares. As she just had feared. He sat on the living room couch and looked with empty eyes at the wall opposite. A gun laid on the ground. It steamed. There was a whole in that wall, too. Right next to a picture of the Three Lights.

"Did you think that would solve ANY of your problems?" Haruka's eyes sparkled and she came again nearer to the couch and grabbed his collar. To force him to look straight into her pale face. "Did you think of shooting yourself you would make it any better?"

Sejya blinked and gulped. And blinked again.

"Then it all would be over." He whispered with such a silent voice Hotaru had never heard from him. "Then I wouldn't be so damn alone any longer."

Haruka made an angry face and slapped him right into the face. Before she grabbed his collar again and looked right into his tired eyes.

"Don't you dare to say such a nonsense. Usagi needs you. Just like the rest of the team. Just like Kakyuu! Don't you think your brothers would be very sad if they'd return and find you dead?"

"They won't return..." Suddenly tears filled Sejya's eyes and he shook his head. "They simply went away and left me here all alone. I have no one left. So why shall I go on living?" Soon those tears wetted pale cheeks and Sejya started helpless to sob. Haruka glanced at him for some seconds and took a deep breath.

"Are you really so stupid not to see that you still have us? Your friends?" she snapped but her look was suddenly very soft. Hotaru had seen that look before. When once Ami broke down sobbing. She had been almost as big as her daddy was right now with her sis and the water senshi started to tremble and to sob. There had been that look on Haruka's face, too. As Michiru simply rose from the couch and embraced Ami and comforted her the whole evening.

"Friends? Usagi has her family just like Ami and the others. And you hate me, too."

Haruka chewed on her lower lip and saw more and more tears running down pale cheeks. The young man trembled and sobbed quietly.

"Of course I hate you." She answered and sighed again deeply. "But that's no reason for you being such a baka!" Haruka mumbled and let go of his collar. Instead she sat down on the couch next to him and watched him in silence. "And Kakyuu will return one day. Don't worry, she loves you, baka. She won't forget you." Her words were very silent. But for Sejya they seemed to be loud enough to understand. Because he cried even harder and suddenly he embraced Haruka and searched for comfort and a little bit hope. Haruka hesitated for some seconds and remembered again how she kicked the door open and could take the gun away in the last second. Sejya had been really determined to kill himself and only because of her fast reaction he shot into the old wall and not into his stubborn head.

"Baka." She sighed again and embraced him in return. To gave him the comfort he needed right now. And the knowledge that he wasn't alone. His loud sobs filled the air and it seemed as if his heart would break. She had never seen him this way and somehow she knew that they had to use their powers to call for Kakyuu. And to ask her if she really wanted to stay on that far away home planet. This planet, the earth, could get her home, too. If she wanted. "Baka!"

Haruka rocked Sejya and raised her head as she heard a noise from the door. Shortly she exchanged glances with her daughter. Then Hotaru nodded and started to smile.

"I am faster!"

Hotaru heard the laughter in her best friend's voice and saw how pink hairs overtook her. She giggled as Chibiusa kicked her mountain bike harder and was able to take the leadership.

"I'll be the winner."

It was early summer and they decided to make a tour along the beach. Of course there was again a competition and of course the loser had to pay the next ice cream in Crystal Tokyo. Of course Chibiusa always wasted her pocket money. And of course she wanted to win.

"Taru is lazy, lazy, lazy..." laughed the pink haired girl and the plaid she braid her hairs together jumped on her back while she tortured her mountain bike more and more.

They raced along the road. A bending road they both knew and they both loved. Because they were always on the main road and didn't have to take care for other cars.

Maybe we'll make a picnic afterwards on the beach.

Hotaru who knew that she would be the one paying for the ice creams turned her head and looked over to the beach. The sun stood high in a cloudless sky and she smiled as she smelled and tasted the salty sea water. Her mommy had prepared something to eat for them and now Hotaru carried it in her back bag.

Hope they'll have a nice day, too.

Normally Haruka would have had a race to drive but she simply cancelled it. Since her daughter was born the past year she wanted to be at home. She wanted to be together with her family. And so she only took part in some races if she wanted to. They had enough money, she didn't depend on that job. Just time by time she had to get wild again. Just to return afterwards and to take care for her family.

Miyuki...

Hotaru grinned and love sparkled in her dark eyes as she remembered her little sister. She wasn't a year old yet and she was so tiny. With blonde hairs and blue eyes. One day she would be a real daredevil and she had the same talent her bigger sister had: One look was enough and her parents would have done everything for her.

I love you, Yuki-chan.

Hotaru turned away from the water and smiled as she saw how Chibiusa fought hard with her bike as they climbed up a small hill. Hotaru got slower, too and her grin grew wider as she heart the princess's not so nice words about the landscape. Until the hill was done and they simply could roll down to the small valley – until they had to climb another hill.

"Yeah! That's great!" Chibiusa spread her arms and her shirt flew around her body like wings. She let go of the handlebars and laughed happily.

I love you, too, little darling.

Hotaru sighed slightly and leaned a little bit back. She knew that she was faster then her best friend but she didn't want to disappoint her. It was a lot more fun to see Chibiusa happy because she won than to win oneself. Hotaru only once won and it wasn't nearly as fun as watching Chibiusa jumping around the whole beach screaming out loud that she was unbeatable.

"Chibiusa, look out, there's a crossroad." She shouted against the wind and hated the strange feeling that grew inside her belly. A well known feeling. A feeling that was mostly wrong.. but only mostly.

"That's the main road. They all have to wait for us." Laughed Chibiusa back. "After all, you only want to win, Taru."

Taru.

She loved that nickname. But nevertheless she got more and more concerned. Hotaru gulped hard and reached inside her pocket. To get the little mirror out she always carried with her. She hated it the most in her life but the same time she knew that she had no chance than having it always with her. Just in case. She didn't know how it worked, but more than once it saved the life of the people being around her.

Is it a blessing or a curse?

Still she couldn't define. Still she couldn't count. Really count. As long as no one died or was dangerously injured. As long as it still could be the nightmares of a little girl.

One look into the mirror let her froze on her bike. She almost missed the bent and it took her some seconds to realize that she still sat on a moving vehicle.

"Little darling!" she screamed and put the hated mirror away again. She had seen what she needed to see: A well known shadow embracing another person who meant a lot in her young life. Taking that person away. Away from her. Destroying the person's life – and her own one as well.

"Little darling!"

Chibiusa only laughed and speeded even more.

"Hey, I wanna win. " she giggled and drove towards the empty crossroad. "And you won't hinder me, Taru."

"Chibiusa!" yelled Hotaru and speeded now again up. Regretting that she left her best friend so much space. It would take her a long time to reach her – especially when they were driving toward the small valley between the hills. Towards the crossroad beneath.

"Chibiusa!" suddenly tears streamed over her face and she started to tremble. But nevertheless she gave all her body had and reached Chibiusa who didn't understand what was happening. She only saw the ice cream in her mind and wanted to win.

"Little...!" Hotaru didn't think any longer and simply jumped. Ten yards before the crossroad. She only jumped and grabbed for her best friend. Chibiusa screamed out loud as they both landed on the hot and very hard asphalt. Chibiusa's bike fell down with them while Hotaru's continued its way towards the crossroad. Chibiusa blushed and wanted to scream something as she heard the loud honk. The next moment a big truck crossed the street, the main street. Hotaru's bike was buried under his big wheels and the driver didn't even seem to notice it. He took the right of way and disappeared into nowhere.

"Nani?" panted Chibiusa. Too shocked to feel how much her right knee hurt. Too shocked to feel the blood pouring down her left arm. Too shocked to feel her own tears streaming down her cheeks.

"That could have been... "she didn't dare to say it aloud. She only turned her head and looked at Hotaru who laid next to her. Holding her tight into her arms. Burying her face into her shoulder and crying desperately.

Hating herself for the shadow she always saw in the mirror.

She stood in her room.

It wasn't dark. Bright sunlight shone through the opened windows and light wind played with her shoulder long hairs.

It wasn't cold. She sweat under her light shirt she wore over her cut jeans. It was the hottest summer Japan ever experienced and she wished herself a big ice tea.

It wasn't silent. She could hear her sister laughing outside the house. In the garden near the beach. Surely she was haunted again by her daddy while her mommy swam in the big swimming pool and splashed them both with water.

She stood in her room. Right before the big mirror she mostly covered with a dark towel. But today she simply had to look into it. The pain started about an hour again and first she didn't wasted many thoughts of it. But it got stronger and it got harder and harder for her to breath.

The room was very bright. There were hardly any shadows. But nevertheless she knew that she wasn't alone. She felt again the cold breeze going over her skin. Over her goose flesh. Her dark eyes were very serious as she watched how the shadow rose and came nearer. For the first time she could see the strange uniform. The smile on a pale face. But still she saw no eyes. Still she couldn't define if that shadow was male or female. But she knew that it was evil. And that she was evil, too. Because she could see it.

Who is it today?

She wanted to scream it out loud but she didn't have the power any longer. She groaned and crossed her arms before her hurting chest.

Whom do I have to save today?

She whimpered as the whole world started to spin around herself.

Whom might I lose this time?

Hotaru's eyes grew wide as she saw how the shadow embraced her and held her tight. Covered her with its darkness.

Me?

She wanted to laugh. Hysterically. But she was too tired. So tired... She held her aching chest harder and whimpered even louder. Then she felt those cold arms being wrapped around her body. Felt the icy fist being clenched around her heart.

Why me?

She stumbled and the mirror crashed the floor. It cracked and splinters covered her carpet. Hotaru only went on her knees and started silently to sob.

Why me?

Then her whole world got black. The last thing she realized was an opening door. And an excited voice calling her name. A so soft, a so tender voice she suddenly believed not to deserve. Not any longer.

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