Whoa, I'm surprised that everyone liked part one! And here I thought I would get a couple of flames from Roy fan girls!
To anyone who was wondering why Al got involved with Mustang's insaneness my only explanation is that I made Roy kind of sensitive of the word 'girly man' -gasp- (looks around), you know, kind of like Ed being way to sensitive of being short, so now he hates anyone who calls him or laughs at the word 'girly man'.
Part two only took me a few days to finish and I was supposed to update ages ago but alas, I was on vacation and my laptop's wireless connection doesn't work on a different state. But it did gave me time to add and fix a few things!
So now, enjoy!
Nearly forgot
disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
Words Will Hurt Me
Part two:
After the cat-nip-in-Al's-armor incident, Everyone was expecting was expecting Ed to be trampled by a stampede of dogs. When they finally found the 'remains' of the two victims; Havoc was severely slashed and scratched, while Al was filled with catnip remains, fur-ball, and other disgusting stuff.
On a side note!
A day later; poor Havoc was under his desk, in a fetal position, shaking uncontrollably, muttering something about homicidal, demonized cats. While Alphonse, on the other hand, was still having trouble trying to clean fur-balls off of his armor. Edward was fuming.
"Putting catnip on Al's armor, what a cheap trick!" Edward raged the following day.
"Brother, I think I still have fur-balls on my foot . . . " said Al trying to ignore Ed's wrath, while cleaning his armor up.
"Let me help you out . . . " said Ed, completely switching moods. He sat down and started checking out Al's metal feet. He felt something weird in one foot . . . he grimaced.
"Al, that's not fur-ball."
"Ew . . . "
It's been a week now since Mustang vowed to take revenge on Edward, and so far there's not one scratched on the young alchemist. Everyone's starting to doubt that Mustang would attack Ed.
"Say, Ed." Said Al one afternoon. "Aren't you worried?"
"Eh? About what?"
"You know the Colonel taking revenge on you for calling him a –you know . . . "
"Hell, no! I am not afraid of what that girly–"
"Hey, Ed!"
"DON'T HURT ME!" Edward yelled, covering himself with his arms from the wrath of . . . Hughes?
"Whoa there!" said Hughes calming the terrified alchemist down. "It's just me!"
"Do not scare me like that!" yelled Edward.
"Sorry . . . "
"Good afternoon, Lieutenant Colonel!" said Al, bowing politely at Hughes.
"Good afternoon to you too, Al, Ed." Hughes greeted back, then changing the subject. "So, are the rumors true?"
"What rumors?" the two brothers said.
"That Ed is going to be blown to bits by a bomb Roy planted on Ed's body?"
The Elrics just gave him a what-the-f--k looks.
"Not true, huh?" Hughes smiled and placed his hands inside his pockets. "Knowing Roy, he wouldn't waste time with a bomb, he would have blown you up on plain sight, for calling him a -that-."
Even Hughes couldn't say it. He had personally witnessed what happened to Roy's 'victims' when they call him that name.
flash back-
"Roy Mustang's girly!" (Six years old)
BONK!
"Roy! Stop throwing things at people!" Yelled Maes. (Eight years old)
"They started it!" whined Roy.
Another one:
"Drop the gun!" Roy ordered to the robber, while also holding up his own gun. (Roy's somewhere around 20)
"No, I won't!"
"I said drop the gun! NOW!"
"Go to hell, you girly-"
BANG!
end of flash back-
It was way too horrible to describe the rest . . .
"So, Hughes," said Ed waking Hughes out of his thoughts. "Any idea on what the Colonel's gonna do?"
"Not a clue! Sorry." apologized Hughes, "But, I do have some advice: Watch your back, Ed. And if by any chance you're alone, let it not be in a rest room."
"How come?"
"Trust me. You don't want to know." Said Hughes, remembering one of Roy's victims take a 'trip' down the toilet, a very, very dirty toilet.
"On a side note! Have you guys seen my new pictures of Elicia? She's so cute isn't she?"
Well let's leave it at that . . .
For the following days everything was normal. Normal, as in people mourning for Ed even though he still walks with the living, funeral flowers pouring out of the Elrics' dormitory, and people walking up to Alphonse giving him their 'condolences'; which was the last straw that broke the camel's back, or in other terms broke the alchemist's back.
"Brother," said Al getting really scared of his brother now, "you shouldn't have done that."
"And why the hell shouldn't I?" raged Edward, "I'm not dead, Al!"
"But burying them underground is a bad idea!"
"Serves them right for thinking I'm dead. And besides I left their heads in the surface."
"You buried them in the middle of the road!"
Somewhere in a busy street:
"Somebody help us!"
"Please!"
BEEP!
"Aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh!"
Poor unfortunate slouls...
"A couple of screaming heads can easily catch attention, Al" said Ed, shrugging off his problem. "Don't worry!"
"But . . . "
"No 'buts'" Ed interfered "I don't want to talk about it anymore. If anyone's looking for me tell them, I'm at the library."
"...okay brother . . . " Al gave up.
Edward remained in the library for the rest of the day, surrounding himself with the safety of books. His reasons: one, he was behind his studies, and two, Mustang wouldn't dare use his flame in the library. Ed smiled to himself.
He continued on reading ignoring the fact that he was locked in for the night again, all alone until dawn. Ed was halfway through his third book when he finally decided to call it a night. He marked his book and settled down on the floor using his crimson coat as a pillow.
Unbeknownst to anyone, especially Ed, Roy also locked himself in the library. Somewhere around midnight he emerged from inside a broom closet, walking cautiously; he started looking for Ed, finally finding him sleeping soundly right next to a pile of books, he smirked.
"Well, well, looks like I can finally have my revenge, Fullmetal."
Poor Ed was sleeping like a log that he was seriously unaware that Mustang was just above him with a very maniacal smile, coming down on him initiating his 'revenge'.
Authors' notes:
Just for fun.
I'm giving you a few moments to imagine what Roy is doing to Ed, and I mean anything. It can be as dirty, or as weird, or as serious as you like. Just think of something. And see if it fits well with the conclusion.
Once you're done, go ahead and continue reading.
I'm giving you a few moments . . .
ooooooo
ooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooLah dee dah!oooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo
ooooooooo
oooo
Done already? Okay continue on!
Roy was finished, he stood up and admired his handy work, putting his hands on his hips he stared down at the oblivious boy, so quiet, so innocent, so angelic... Roy prepared to leave.
"Thanks for the fun, Ed."
ooo
Ed woke up the next day feeling rather refreshed. Apparently he had no clue to what Roy did to him last night. He was surprised to see that all the books were all placed back in the shelves, saving him time and energy. He stood up and stretched around for a few seconds and headed off to the mess hall to eat. He couldn't help but feel a bit odd. . . he shrugged it off.
An enormous scream erupted inside headquarters, louder than Al's a few weeks earlier. Roy Mustang chuckled, he immediately deduced that the noise came from Edward.
"I guess Fullmetal discovered my little gift for him." Said more to himself than to the person with him.
"Sir?" said Hawkeye. "What did you do?"
"You'll find out soon lieutenant–" Roy paused hearing pounding footsteps from the hallway. "In fact you'll find out right . . . "
"YOU BASTARD!"
Edward erupted from the office doors; slamming them open nearly breaking it off the hinges. Anger radiated strongly from the kid–erm teen that flames were practically burning in the background.
"Now . . . " finished Roy trying to hold down a laugh. Hawkeye's eyes widened.
"You (insert streams of very violent and dirty curse words here)! Is this your way of taking revenge on a person? You're SICK!"
Poor Hawkeye couldn't take it anymore. She excused herself from the office and locked herself up in the restroom laughing her heart out.
"Fullmetal, I'm hurt." said Roy, rather hurt yet still containing his mirth "I had fun playing with you last night."
"But I am not a–"
"Now, now Fullmetal why do you deny your kind?" sneered Mustang looking at the poor alchemist. "I worked hard fitting you in those striped brown shirt and white jumper, it took me hours just to paint your skin orange, but I seriously enjoyed dyeing your hair green."
Roy couldn't hold it anymore, he started laughing out loud, banging his fists on his desk, falling of is chair literally on the floor squirming from laughter. Poor Edward wasn't amused. In fact he was pissed.
"I AM NOT AN OOMPA LOOMPA YOU JERK!"
Anyone seen the old version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Remember those creepy singing midgets? How about the Oompa Loompa from the Nerds candy?
Yeah, I got the idea from that... Edward Elric please don't kill me.
Tell me what you think and huge thankies to the people who read my fic!