Author's Note: I'm taking some time from my FFIX fic to write this. For some reason the Kain/Rydia pairing works for me, especially since I think Edge is a juvenile moron with the IQ of a soap-dish. So, I'm going to stop talking and start writing. Even though my talking is writing… you know what I mean.
Duty
Part One of Three
"Hey. Cecil says that breakfast is almost ready."
Rydia waited for a few seconds for Kain's response. "Whatever. I just thought you should know."
She turned to go back into the protecting blue glow of the sanctuary when she heard a rush of air and a screech of pain. She whirled back around whip in hand, to see Kain standing over a VampLady's corpse, pulling his spear from the center of her chest.
"You should never turn your back on a foreign area without thoroughly determining whether or not you are safe to do so. Fortunately for you, I have already done so."
"One of these days, you won't be so smug and self-righteous. I only hope I'm there to see you fall on your over-confident face."
She disappeared into the safety of their camp spot.
"You were not. Only the darkness saw that, and I am forever grateful."
"Where is he?"
"With any luck, he pulled too hard on his spear and knocked himself unconscious." Cecil frowned at the young girl's remark. He opened his mouth to chide her, but before he could say anything Rydia shot a glare in his direction. "Just save it. I'm going to go meditate."
Cecil Harvey, the Paladin of lengends, prophecies, and Dwarven drinking songs, looked out at the blue haze his oldest friend refused to enter. Before he considered checking up on him, Rosa came out from the tent they shared.
"I saved some breakfast for you. For a Ninja, Edge can put away a lot of bacon. What's wrong?"
"It's Kain. He's been out there all night."
"He still needs some time. If you knew half of the things Golbez has done to him… made him do…"
"I know. But still…"
"Just… let him be. He has good left in him. He just needs time for it to shine through."
"Here. Eat it. Or don't. I don't care one way or the other."
"If you do not care, why bother bringing it out here at all?"
"Cecil told me to."
"That does not surprise me."
"He also says we're leaving in an hour. Not that you care; you're already out here."
He almost let her go before he could ask what he had wanted to for some time now.
"You hate me for the death of your mother, correct?"
"Yes. I do."
"And for the destruction of Mist, correct?"
"Yes. Why are you-" He cut her off, getting to his point.
"Then why do you not hate him for those things. It was his mission after all; I was simply accompanying him. He fought that dragon as well; landing two blows for every one of mine."
"Because you took your time to deliver the most powerful blows you could."
"My point is that he is responsible for what happened as much as I am. Yet when you look at him, it is with subtle longing; when you look at me it is with unbridled contempt."
"I do not look at him with 'longing'. I see him as the noble friend who helped me even though we were stranded in the middle of a desert with no one to help us. Who apologized for his actions. Who has goodness in him, so much that he gave up his dark ways to become a Paladin.
"And you mocked him for that. You gave into the evil inside you. You kidnapped and tortured the woman he loves because you have no soul."
"Have you ever thought of what might have happened had you and I been separated from Cecil, instead of the way it actually happened? I have. I ask myself if I could have accomplished what he did.
"Because Cecil is the perfect one, the golden boy. He always has been. Even when we were children, he was always stronger, always more skilled with a sword. And though I could beat him in speed, agility, and intelligence, my achievements always paled before his. I resorted to the only thing I could: silence and excellence.
"You despise me for doing my duty. But that is the only thing I can truly claim that I have ever done. No matter what happens, when the day of judgment comes, I will be able to claim that I always did my duty."
"You're worse that I thought. You haven't lost your soul. You never had one. You're not even a person. You're a sick imitation with only jealousy and blind loyalty as your traits. I don't hate you. I pity you. You can't even see yourself for what you truly are."
"What's going on?"
Kain... You belong to me, Kain. Bring me the Crystal.
"Golbez! Kain!"
"Get a hold of yourself!"
"I'm...alright. I'm no longer under his control!"
Suddenly, Kain delivered one of the Dragon Knights' specialty knockout moves, a spin followed with the flat of the spearhead to the opponent's temple. The crystal flew out of Cecil's hands, with Kain catching it before completing his maneuver.
"Ugh!"
"You wretch!"
"Kain!"
Now I can restore the Tower of Bab-il. At last, I shall reach the moon!
"Kain! Wake up!" He was silent.
"Please, Kain!" His cold blue eyes, once piercing and sharp as an eagle's, stared woodenly at Cecil and Rosa.
"With all the Crystals in hand, the way to the moon will open." He turned his head towards Rydia; his eyes seemed frozen, incapable of moving on their own. "It seems you were right." He leapt across the bridge and out of sight.
"You weren't at the wedding." Kain Highwind, former Dragoon of Baron and current pilgrim to Mount Ordeals whirled around, his spear pointing at the voice who had sought him out. Rydia gazed at the man, still striking even though his once regulation clean-shaven face had faded beneath a light coat of facial hair, and his unarmored body showed several recent scars and wounds.
"I was wrong. When I said you weren't human. The truth is… you're the most human person I know. Cecil, Rosa, Tellah, they're legends. Edge, well, he's Edge. Edward's close, but his reaction to loss was still selfish. Palom and Porom are just kids. Cid's never had to go through anything harder than worrying about his airships. FuSoYa's Lunarian. The only other person I can think of who even comes close to you is Yang, but even then, he had a wife to go to in the end.
"Why didn't you ever tell anyone how you felt about Rosa?"
"I thought that it was obvious."
"Not that. I mean how much you hate her." Kain stood there implacably.
"What makes you think that?"
"When you were talking about Cecil besting you during childhood when we were in the Sealed Cave; you weren't speaking with contempt. You love him. I don't think that you're in love with him, but I could be mistaken.
"You hate Rosa because she came between you and Cecil. But you also have love for her. You couldn't understand it at the time, so you twisted all of your hate for her and love for him into one dark emotion. You turned it into quietly doing whatever you were told, focusing single-mindedly on your duty and honor, trying to fade into the shadows where no one would compare you to him, and where you wouldn't have to realize that the one person you cared about the most held someone up higher in their feelings than you."
"This is all very interesting, but I have not eaten today. Goodbye." Kain turned to leap from the mountain ledge, but Rydia's words stopped him.
"I think that self-inflicted hatred and confusion is why it was so easy for Golbez to manipulate you. Why it was so easy for you to betray your closest friend and kidnap the woman you said you loved, who you did and do love. But in those moments that Golbez lost control, you understood that you could both hate and love Rosa. You hate her because you love her, and because he does too.
"But you still had to do your duty, and that was to follow the will of Baron. With the King dead, the leader of the Dark Knights would have been his successor. So you followed him. And in the Sealed Cave all of Golbez's twisting and manipulation started again. Rosa once told me that he forced you to accept him as your master above all others. So when he called you, you did your duty. You obeyed your master."
"If my duty is to Baron, then why am I here, instead of serving the new King in his city?"
"Because you accepted that it was you who did all of those horrible things, not Golbez's mind-twisting. You can't be there because it causes you physical pain to be in the presence of those that you have such strong love/hate for. So you come to the shrine of KluYa everyday, hoping that he will help you the way he helped his son. But he doesn't, because what you need he can't provide. You have to let go."
"Do you think that I have not tried?" His piercing blue eagle-eyes drilled into her soul with their torment. "I can give up the hate, and the unnatural love you spoke of, but I can't give up my burning desire for her, and the pain it causes knowing that the revelation of such feelings would destroy a friendship that I've needed to exist for so long. I can't hurt him, but I can't stop burning for her, either."
"Kain."
"What?"
"I forgive you." He continued to stare at her. "I forgive you for the death of my mother, and for the destruction of Mist. I know that had you known what would happen that you would have turned back."
"No. I would have done my duty."
"What is the Dragoon Code?"
"'To protect those unable to help themselves, to defend the weak and the poor, to do the duty required for the service of all in need of aid.'"
"Your duty isn't to Cecil, or any of the leaders of Baron. It's to the people. Which is why I know you would have done the right thing. Because there is goodness in you too. That's why you're here; to do your duty as a friend. You're protecting him from something you know would hurt him…
"You've never been forgiven before, have you? Not even from Cecil?"
"I know he holds no resentment towards me. He is not capable of doing so."
"So wouldn't he do likewise if you told him the way you feel about his wife?"
Kain stayed silent. Around them, the clear azure sky was marred by white, puffy clouds, the kind that tell of the warmer seasons, even when the cool mountain air is sharp against you.
"I want to let go. To make a leap of faith. Irony strikes; a Dragoon not being able to jump."
"Let me help you."
"Why," he asked while gazing into her soft green eyes, "Pity?"
"No. I don't know what it is, but it's there. Let me help you."
"How?"
"First, by getting off this mountain."
"Why did you bring me here?"
"To do your duty."
"I'm not going to have to recite the Code again am I?"
"Hey, you used a contraction! And without any mind control, either!"
"Unfortunately, you seem to be rubbing off on me a little." She hit him playfully. She didn't know why she was doing it, but Queen Asura told her that it was natural, so she mentally shrugged and went on.
The Village of Mist was returning to its former quiet prosperity, but the new ridge of small mountains running through what was once the center of the town made progress difficult. Rydia had requested the use of the Falcon from Eblan, but there had been no word from Edge when she set out to Mount Ordeals. When she got back, however, an entire crew of Eblan ninja warriors were rushing around, cutting down trees, building houses, and doing many other tasks.
"Well, I guess I wasn't needed after all." Kain thought that he should have known that he wasn't her first choice, and scolded himself for thinking that he was.
"All I asked for was the giant drill on his airship. Not all of this." She strode over to the nearest Ninja. "Hey, where's Edge?"
"Master Edge is waiting for you aboard the Falcon, Lady Rydia."
"Well. That's just great. Probably has a heart-shaped bed and a glass of brandy on board for just this occasion." She said it as a joke, but Kain didn't laugh. "Well… the woodsmen could always use some help if you want to keep busy while I'm getting ogled by the King of Eblan." She wandered off in the general direction of the Eblan workers, and Kain went into the forest.
Surrounded, the former Dragoon leapt into the air, spinning the lance in his left hand around his body. Six fell around him. When he reached the apex of his leap, he threw his spear, piercing another foe. He aimed at the spear, kicking its unusual new resting place, making it fall back slowly. He shot off low at another, slicing it with the spearhead.
"Why do you dishonor your weapon so?" Kain snapped into a reflexive combat stance, scanning the newly fallen trees for the voice. It was a ninja of Eblan, whose stare was focused and unreadable.
"It isn't a dishonor when a weapon is used to help the needy and innocent."
"We are taught that our blade is an extension of the souls of ourselves and our ancestors, only to be drawn to slay our bitterest enemies."
"I was taught that a weapon is an extension of a Dragoon's body and skill, and when I am helping others, I want to use the best of my abilities. After all, isn't honor achieved through doing the right thing? Even if it seems wrong to others?"
"Your words… they make sense, even if they border on blasphemy of the Eblan way. You… you are very skilled. How did you learn to leap such great heights?"
"I was conditioned by my father almost from birth. When I was five, he gave me over to the Dragonhead academy and training grounds. There I learned everything I needed to know."
"We Ninja are also trained from a young age. We focus more on stealth and agility, however; feats of strength are not a priority."
"My jumps are not as much a feat of strength as they are a feat of will. The strongest Dark Knight, or Paladin, of Baron could not match me. As for agility, well, you have seen me in the air."
"You are as quick as any of the Eblan Ninja."
"Now, stealth is an area I know I am weak in. A Dragon Knight fights in full armor, and is still capable of jumping as high as they are unarmored, but when stealth is required, our version is using our leaps to surprise an enemy."
"Is it true that you are capable of leaping in the air?"
"Yes, but it takes tremendous effort, and is an ability only used when absolutely necessary."
"I see."
Kain turned to dispatch the next cluster of forest.
"Before you go, I have one final question."
"Yes?"
"Is… is it possible to learn your ways of battle?"
Kain looked at the young man. Fully trained as an Eblan ninja, yet seeking the expertise of a disgraced Dragoon.
"I suppose… it could be done. With time."
Rydia was right, he thought to himself. He did find his duty, after all.