Rating: T

Description: This is a Havoc/Hawkeye paring. It's quite angsty, or so I MEANT it to be….;;;; So…please read! Even though I know hardly ANYONE reads these commentary anyways…I mean, why would you? There is the whole story below, that IS why you would click on the link right? DUH! Anyways…here's the story as it goes!

Forgive Me

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she held him tightly. His blood covered her hands, legs, arms, and face. She buried her face into the crook of his perfect neck. It still held remnants of his spicy cologne mixed with blood and smoke. WHY! Her mind screamed at her. Her body shook with pain filled sobs.

Havoc shut his eyes and turned his face away. Tears fell silently from his own eyes. Their colonel, their leader, their friend even, had just died. Havoc's body felt heavy and weak. Even though Mustang was a close friend, the scene of Hawkeye's despair was enough to turn his stomach. He could feel the pain emanating from the broken woman. He knew, better than anyone, her feelings for the colonel. He had helped to keep her secret. Her confidence in him one night after his last advance on her meant a lot to Havoc. It told him that she trusted him after all. But this? Here today? It broke him. It tore him limb from limb painfully though his limbs were still attached.

"WHY!" The woman cried out purely broken. She held tightly to the man who she had dedicated her whole life to. The man that she, above all, loved with her whole heart. She threw her head back and sobbed. She felt a few small drops of rain fall on her tear stained face before the sky opened up and let loose a torrent of water droplets.

She hung her head in disgust. "You always hated the rain…" She muttered to the body lying in her arms. She turned her face to the sky. "IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE? HE HATED THE RAIN! AND YET YOU DUMP IT ON HIM AFTER HIS DEATH! WHAT KIND OF A SICK, MESSED UP GOD ARE YOU!"

As though in response, the sky lit up with a lightening bolt that spread over the whole sky like a spider web. Loud thunder proceeded and the rain fell even harder yet. She scoffed. "You do this to spite me don't you…?" She laughed bitterly. Pulling out her gun and aimed it upwards towards the sky and let loose two rounds. "I DON'T CARE IF THIS GETS YOU OR NOT! IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!"

Havoc turned away from the woman. He couldn't STAND to see her this way. He leaned against the nearest building for support. Hawkeye… ran through his mind over and over again. He wanted nothing more than to go wrap his arms around her in a tight embrace and rock her back and forth until her tears subsided. But, he knew that right now…was not the time. She was too hurt, too broken that he could never even attempt to 'fix' her. He looked back at his shocked and pained colleagues as well. They all stood still in awe at Hawkeye's actions and yet they sympathized with her. It was written all over their faces. They hurt just as much as he did looking at her.

She dragged Mustang up into her lap. She laid her head on top of his. "I love you, Roy…" She whispered to him, "I always have…" Fresh tears made their way back down her cheeks. She leaned over and kissed him lightly on his cold lips. She stared at his closed eyes. She could have sworn the bastard was smirking.

Ed sat on the train. He sighed. He was called back to central again. No one told him WHY, but he was called back…AGAIN. He rolled his eyes and stared out the window in boredom. Al sat across from him and Winry beside him. Winry was busy twiddling around with some mechanical device. Ed didn't know what it was or really bothered to give a damn. Al seemed to have something on his mind. Ed was about to question it when the train came to port. He sighed and stared out the window and was about to stand when he could have sworn he saw a blast of fire and a smirking Mustang standing on the platform. But just like that, he was gone. Ed paled.

"Brother…?" Al asked silently, causing Winry to look at Ed.

"What's wrong Ed?" Winry asked cocking her head to the side.

Ed stood up and grabbed his bag and rushes of the train. As soon as he stepped off the train he was greeted with two dismal faces. Fury barely managed a smile at Ed. Ed's feet felt like they were lead. He walked over to Fury and Farmon. Soon they were in the car on their way to central headquarters building. Ed didn't say a word fearing the worst. He remembered the feeling of seeing Hughes wave goodbye three years ago, all too well.

The trip to the building took five minutes at most, but felt like hours. Ed walked up into the Colonel's office where Hawkeye stood in uniform with a black sash across her chest. She stood in front of the colonel's desk. On either side of the room stood Armstrong, Havoc, Breda, and all other officers. Hawkeye offered a salute to Ed as they walked in. Fury and Farmon hurried to their places along the walls.

"Edward Elric! Stand at attention!" Hawkeye said mechanically. Ed knew better than to disobey. He stood with a salute.

"Yes, Ma'am!" He said. Hawkeye relaxed her position.

"At ease…" She said. Ed relaxed as well.

"Would you mind tellin' me what all this is about?" Ed asked getting annoyed.

Ed noticed the look that crossed Hawkeye's features as she cast her gaze downwards at the floor. She swallowed hard. Clearing her throat, she looked up at Ed again. This time, tears filled her eyes.

"On behalf of the State Alchemist division, we…we would like for you to be initiated as colonel." She said less than easily. Clearing her throat, she went on. "You were written down by Colo-"she paused trying to contain herself. "Colonel Mustang himself, in the event of his death, to take his position as Colonel."

Ed's eye widened. He felt the hot stinging of tears in his eyes. As much as he let on that he hated the colonel, he actually had admired him. Annoying as he may have been, he was the closest damn thing to an older brother any man could have ever wanted alongside Hughes. Ed fought back the lump in his throat. He heard Al shift uncomfortably behind him.

"What…what exactly does that…mean?" Winry's voice broke as she asked.

"It means…that…Colonel Roy N. Mustang is dead." Hawkeye said composing herself. Ed saw it; he saw it in her eyes. All of his suspicions were not in vain. She did love Mustang. Ed felt angry. Ed was angry at Mustang for leaving her, for not protecting himself better, and most of all…for promoting him to be colonel.

"How did he die?" Ed inquired, "And when? How long ago? Is this anything like when Hughes died? Not telling until weeks, months…I don't know how long it was, after the fact!" Ed couldn't help but get angry. Hawkeye understood his anger.

"No. It isn't like Hughes' death." Hawkeye sighed, "He died…two nights ago. We contacted you immediately and had you come here. I made sure to postpone the burial until a little while after you got here, sir."

"I see…" Ed said and looked at the uniform laying on the desk for him. It even had that infamous black sash.

Hawkeye nodded to the others, they all saluted. "SIR!" Rang out in unison from all of the officers. Ed looked up and around seeing all of their faces. Ed sighed and raised his hand.

"At ease…I'm not colonel just yet…" Ed nodded.

All the officers started filing out; the last one to the door was Hawkeye. Ed watched the others leave. He watched until Hawkeye was right in the doorway. He then turned around and looked out the window.

"Hawkeye…" Ed called.

"Yes, sir?" Hawkeye responded out of habit.

"I'm sorry…." Ed silently said.

"For what, sir?" Hawkeye asked.

"For your loss." Ed replied.

Hawkeye stiffened at the soft spoken words. She knew they were just small words, but…right now they meant so much to her. She nodded and stepped out of the office heading to her quarters as quickly as she could. She was ready to rest and Hayate was probably pretty hungry by now.

Winry looked at Ed. She walked over to him silently and put her hand on his shoulder. Al looked at his brother sadly. Al looked around the room. He saw a picture of Mustang standing with Hughes with an arm draped over on another's shoulders. Both men were leaning against each other. Al couldn't help but think; now they can always lean on one another for strength…

"Edward…are you going to be ok?" Winry asked Ed, who's eyes were hidden behind his bang. His shoulder shook slightly.

"He's gone, Win…he's really gone…" Ed's voice cracked. He leaned on his arms against the smooth wooden texture of Mustang's desk. Ed cried silently. "And I wasn't there…like with Hughes, I wasn't there….again…I let them down…"

"Ed…" Winry's heart broke to see her childhood friend in such a broken state. She also felt terrible for Riza. She knew that Riza had held feelings for Mustang. Winry couldn't imagine losing Ed like that, and never getting to tell him her true feelings. Then it hit Winry, This…this COULD be me…