The Greatest Show Ever 10
A/N: Sorry about this long update but first my muse needed some time off and when I finally wrote something ff wouldn't let me update grrr… And I know that I left some episodes but they didn't inspire me so I fast forwarded to this one. I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter but give it a try anyway…
Again thank you very much for your feedback… More please?
Disclaimer: It's my tenth… I'm getting tired of explaining that GG NOT MINE…
(Opening. Stage looks like a dinning room at the Gilmore's residence. Emily Gilmore is sitting at the table.)
Enter Lorelai and Luke. Lorelai, noticing Emily, tries to sneak out discretely.
Emily (to Lorelai): Lorelai, don't be ridiculous. I saw you coming in.
Lorelai mutters something and sighs in resignation.
They both sit at the table. Emily greets Luke rather coldly.
Awkward silence.
Enters Rory.
Rory (to Emily, surprised and anxious): Grandma… Hi… I didn't know you were coming… I… Erm… That's a surprise… I have to go get Jess… I'll be right back (she leaves quickly).
Lorelai (to Luke): 5 bucks he'll take off?
Emily: Lorelai, really!
Luke: He won't. Not if Rory asks.
Lorelai (to Luke): Ok then 10 that he'll be his extra charming self?
Luke: No… I don't want to lose 10 bucks.
Enters Rory. Jess follows discretely.
Jess (to Emily): Hello Mrs. Gilmore.
Emily looks at him coldly and nods.
Lorelai (to Rory, surprised): What did you do? He didn't run off and… he's polite! That's not normal!
Rory: Mom… Please…
Lorelai looks suspiciously at Jess for a minute or two. Jess avoids any eye contact.
Lorelai (realizing something): Oh my God! Rory! He's…
Rory (almost shouting): Mom! No! Just please no!
Lorelai shakes her head. Luke looks closely at Jess and sighs.
Emily: I'm not even asking you what was that all about. I'll find out eventually. (shouts suddenly) Maria! The dinner!
Lorelai: You brought your maid here? And what did you do with our narrator? Is she with all of your other employees? (beat) Do you keep them locked in a basement or something?
Emily: Lorelai, honestly, your jokes are getting worse every day.
Lorelai (mockingly): And I still leave the best for you mom!
Emily (ignoring): I told this narrator there was no need for her to stay with us tonight. I took care of everything.
Lorelai: So basically it's a regular Friday dinner we're having?
Emily: Of course not. We're here to talk about… (looking pointedly at Jess) the memorable Friday night dinner. (they all sigh) What is she doing? (she leaves shouting Maria repeatedly)
Lorelai (to Rory): Ok now you tell me why is your boyfriend wearing a make up?
Rory: He had a little accident and I don't want grandma to see it…
Luke (to Jess, mockingly): Got attacked by another wild animal?
Lorelai and Rory (confused): What?
Jess: Ha ha… Very funny Luke…
Emily (out of nowhere, to Rory): Actually I'd like to know why you are trying to cover his black eye. (to Jess) Coming from you it's nothing new.
Everybody looks surprised at Emily.
Lorelai (to Rory, whispering): Time to find a good excuse kid…
Rory (panicked): He… We… Just…
Jess (annoyed): We were showering this morning and I slipped, ok?
Lorelai (shaking her head): Not a good excuse…
Jess: It's not an excuse. It's the truth.
Emily looks shocked.
Lorelai (to Luke, whispering): I bet she'll say it's all my fault…
Emily: We? What do you mean by we, young man? (to Lorelai) What do you have to say Lorelai? Is that how you raised Rory?
Lorelai (to Luke): See? Every time… (to Emily) Mom, she's not 16 anymore…
Jess (interrupting): It's not like I forced her. (looking suggestively at Rory) She likes it…
Rory blushes.
Lorelai (to Jess): For your own good Jess… (beat) God I can't believe I'm saying something for Jess' good… Anyway… Jess – don't say another word!
Rory (suddenly): Stop! All of you! I'm not a kid anymore and if I want to I can shower with whoever I want! No… I mean… Not whoever… Just Jess… But you know what I mean…
Jess: Basically she's saying it's none of your business.
Rory: Right. Only in a much more complicated way…
Long awkward silence.
Lorelai (suddenly): I shower with Luke all the time!
Luke shifts uncomfortably.
Rory: Oh.My.God.
Jess: That's a detail I really didn't need to know…
Emily: Lorelai! That's so inappropriate!
Lorelai (to Rory): Be grateful. I'm trying to help here!
Rory: Please don't…
Lorelai (to Emily): It's environment friendly. We don't waste the precious water.
Rory: Mom…
Lorelai (to Rory): You know it's actually your fault. All this talk tonight.
Rory: And exactly how is this my fault?
Lorelai: You're the one that few years ago went to get my Chinese and instead got back with the whole I-want-to-have-sex-with-Jess idea.
Rory: You said you wanted to know!
Lorelai: Of course I wanted to know! I didn't want to end up like my mother!
Emily: What is that suppose to mean, Lorelai?
Lorelai: Nothing… I just… You know… (looking expectantly at Luke) Luke will explain!
No reaction.
Lorelai: Luke! Say something!
Luke: Sorry, I stopped listening when someone said Rory, Jess and sex in the same sentence…
Jess (to Rory): You told your mother you were thinking about sleeping with me?
Lorelai (simultaneously): So as you all can see, the whole shower thing is no biggie.
Rory: God… Can we not talk about shower anymore?
Jess: I can't believe you were discussing our sex life…
Rory: What sex life? Back then we didn't even have one!
Jess (muttering): Not by my choice…
Rory (angrily): Why we keep talking about this? Can we change the subject?
Long uncomfortable silence.
Emily: Well. I must admit I didn't expect all of this. I was invited to discuss the Friday night dinner I had with Rory and… that hoodlum of boyfriend she had. It's still quite surprising he didn't end up in jail.
Jess (sarcastically): I'm waiting for Alcatraz to reopen.
Emily: Honestly Lorelai why did you let your daughter date… (pointing accusingly) him? You knew he was no good. (pause) Even your husband is more civilized than him!
Luke: Excuse me?
Lorelai (angrily): Mom! What do you mean by that? And it's not my choice who Rory's dating! And Jess is not that bad!
Jess (mockingly): Lorelai please… You don't have to defend me…
Lorelai: Shut up you little jerk, corrupting my sweet innocent daughter…
Jess: Sweet what?
Rory (shouting): That's it! I'm leaving if you don't stop!
Emily (ignoring): I can't even call it a Friday night dinner since he showed up late, mumbled five words and just left! But I guess that's what he's doing the best, right? Leaving…
Luke (warningly): Emily, this is going too far!
Rory: He was late because of the traffic and he never talks much and he left because I jumped to the conclusions and…
Jess (interrupting): Don't. You don't have to justify my decisions. I left because your lack of trust hurt me and I didn't know how to react…
Emily (to Jess): Did you find yourself equally good excuse when you disappeared for 6 months?
Rory looks sadly at Jess who stays very quiet.
Lorelai (coldly): Mom, I think you should leave… I know you don't like Jess but you keep upsetting Rory and I won't let you.
Luke: Also I don't think it's our business. This is between the two of them.
Emily: Well… (to Rory) You'll probably regret this but it's your choice… (she leaves)
They stay silent for a long moment.
Lorelai (out of blue): Cheer up Brian! You know what they say!
Luke: Oh no! Not again!
Rory (to Luke): I told you – no Monty Python's marathon or she'll keep quoting them for days!
Lorelai (continuing): Some things in life are bad…
Luke (desperately): Lorelai stop or you won't hear the story of Jess and his friend the swan!
Lorelai stops immediately intrigued.
Jess suddenly pales.
Rory (to Jess): What swan? I don't think I know this story…
Luke (mockingly): He didn't tell you? It's such an amusing anecdote!
Jess: I… don't know what you're talking about…
Luke: Oh I can refresh your memory…
Jess: No! (takes deep breath) I… and it came out of nowhere… and… (to Luke) You find it amusing?
Luke: Hilarious. Continue. I don't think they understood the whole story.
Lorelai: What story? I didn't get a thing!
Jess (mumbling): Black eye… Some swan attacked me…
Lorelai starts laughing hysterically.
Rory: Did you just say…
Jess: That bird was vicious! He was just waiting for his new victim!
Rory: But you said you were playing football with a friend!
Luke (to Rory): Jess playing football?
Lorelai (still laughing, to Rory): Jess having a friend?
Rory starts to laugh.
Jess: I was embarrassed! Stop mocking me!
They keep laughing.
Jess: Ha ha… I'm out of here… (gets up)
Lorelai (shouting after Jess): Don't go all alone! What if this swan is still after you!
Rory: This is funnier than Trekkie-Luke!
Lorelai (to Rory): How about teasing him some more?
Rory: Oh yeah!
They leave calling Jess.
Luke chuckles, shakes his head and follows.
A/N: Ok we all know that the end is near… I think the next chapter will be the last one. I have an idea on how I want to deal with Jess leaving and everything that followed but I'm open to your propositions, so if you have any suggestions or ideas please tell me.