Hey you! I'm back!

Fortunately for y'all it is SUMMER pour moi, so updating will be more frequent and abundant. Unless I'm not out partying with the homies. You know how that goes.

Okay, sooooooo… I'm very excited for my second fic! And I wanna just thank the best hunk of solidified mold I know, for being so amusing and leaving the best reviews. And thanks for all the reviews that YOU WILL BE LEAVING this time. I know you will be.

Hee hee! Okay. So. This is another What in the World If? fic. Including, of course, Lorelai and Luke, the greatest couple since PB and J. Not that I'm that into PB and J. I can only tolerate it occasionally. Bad example. How about… ketchup and, um, the burger? Sounds weird. Well, just take it from me, they're a pretty damn good couple.

So the new question this time comes from the episode A Tale of Poes and Fire, 3-17. What if things went a little DIFFERENTLY? Just guess. Come on, guess.

Disclaimer: Okay, so, I own Gilmore Girls! Yep, my name is Amy Sherman-Palladino and I write and own Gilmore Girls. And since it's the summer, and I was bored, what with the show not running currently, I just thought, why don't I go to Fanfiction DOT net and write some fan fic under the penname of Muffin Is Injured? And with logic like that, how could you not believe me?

Thank the Cavemen

Chapter One: Packing Light is For Girls

Lorelai flashed a nervous smile at the startled Mrs. Slutsky. "My- my inn caught fire."

The older woman stared.

'Hurry, Luke," mumbled Lorelai, tapping her feet irritably.

Lorelai let out a breath as she heard the jingle of keys and saw the dark outline of Luke's body through the window, followed shortly by his appearance.

"Luke, thank God." Lorelai grabbed her stuff off the floor and entered hurriedly through the diner door.

"So, what's the deal?" questioned Luke as he easily grabbed her bag and pillow.

"Thanks. Well, it's crazy, my amazing entrepreneurial skills finally backfired in my face. The Hattlestats just had to come back and take my room, the last room, away from me, leaving me a homeless wandering vagrant. Sorry to put you out like this, it's a little weird. But I swear it's the last time I come here for an impromptu sleepover."

"It's not a problem," assure Luke as he heaved the bags up the stairs. 'Jesus, what did you put in here? It's just a night."

"Packing light is for girls," informed Lorelai wisely. "And I thought you were, like, Superman when it comes to…lifting stuff."

"It's not that heavy, it's just bigger than I expected."

"Don't be such a wimp. Think big, muscley men thoughts," said Lorelai as she breezed past him and skipped up the stairs.

"I think you've confused me with you there."

Luke unlocked the door and they made their way inside the apartment. "So, where should I dump your stuff?"

"Hmm… I don't know. Either the bed or the couch. Whichever I'm sleeping on."

"Well, which one do you want?"

Lorelai ignored his question and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge and stroking the covers with her finger. Luke's heart stopped and jumped into his throat for just a second at the irony of that simple movement but then returned to normal. "You've got a nice bed. Really, it's so…soft. Looks so comfortable."

"It is."

"I bet you just fall asleep every night like that-" she snapped- "when sleeping in it."

"I do fall asleep pretty fast," acknowledged Luke, raising his eyebrows.

"Seems pretty cozy, too. I bet you never get nightmares sleeping in this bed," grinned Lorelai, smoothing the covers with her hand.

"Can't remember the last time I've had a nightmare in that bed, true."

"And I also bet-" Luke interrupted her ranting abruptly.

'Lorelai, would you like to take the bed?" he asked patiently.

"Oh!- Why, Luke, thank you, that's a very gracious offer," said Lorelai, smiling in surprise.

"Yeah, well, that's me, I think of everything," said Luke dryly.

Luke had just gone into the bathroom and Lorelai took the opportunity to change into her pajamas.

She slipped off her pants and pulled on some sweatpants. Pulling off her cardigan and blouse, she had just taken off her bra when she heard the click of the opening bathroom door,

Luke opened the door just in time to see a shirtless Lorelai whirling around rapidly. "Oh my God!"

"I'm sorry… I should have knocked or something…" Luke was frazzled at the quick glimpse of Lorelai he had gotten. It was brief but emblazoned into his head, and he felt very, very warm all over.

"No, you're not supposed to knock when you leave the bathroom- you knock when you go in one- otherwise it's just weird- I should have… gone faster or…" Lorelai was wincing, her bare back to Luke and her arms wrapped around herself. "Wow, this is awkward, huh?"

"I'll just… go back in…" Luke backed up and closed the bathroom door hurriedly behind him.

Luke leaned against the door and let out a deep breath. He was expected to sleep with THAT 10 feet away from him? He was only a man, he had so much willpower.

Stop that, he reprimanded himself. You can't think about Lorelai like that. Not just for the obvious reasons- you've got a girlfriend. But his efforts to banish the flash of Lorelai he had seen from his restless mind were futile. Breathe, breathe. Nicole. Remember her. Girlfriend.

Lorelai's… STOP! Think about something else, anything else. Puppies. Think about them. Don't like puppies. All slobbery, biting up everything they see. Annoying little rodents. Think about…pool. Yeah, that's good. Pool. It's… got a green table. With all these poles and balls and stuff. And you rack up scores, right? Rack… Luke mentally slapped himself. You little pervert.

Lorelai paused for a second after the door close and then exhaled. That was very weird. If Luke had seen anything… that would be embarrassing. She wondered what he was doing in the bathroom right then. She slipped on a long sleeved shirt, and then a guitar shirt. She wasn't taking any chances.

Luke was still breathing heavily and had moved on the thinking about pirates and their golden chests when he heard a yell from the adjacent room. "Uhm, you can come out if you want now. I'm fully clothed."

That's too bad. Luke pushed open the door and gave her a lopsided smile. "Sorry about before."

"Oh, it's perfectly fine."

"Okay, good." He cleared his throat, trying force the sound of his previous arousal from it. "Do you want some tea or something?"

"How 'bout some coffee?"

"It's way too late for coffee," commanded Luke.

"Luke, my inn just caught fire. I had to organize places for people to stay and breakfast and Michel and then I was kicked out of my own home, I wandered the streets for a little, and then I accidentally flashed you. I think I deserve coffee for all that."

Luke sighed. "One cup and that's it. But this is a special occasion and don't count on it happening ever again."

"Aye aye, Capt'n," said Lorelai, saluting solemnly.

Stopping there now because I am tired. I know, you thought I was superhuman and I could stay up as late as I wanted and whatnot. Sorry to dash your dreams this way. I need beauty sleep to keep me as gorgeous and irresistible as I am.

Sorry that was a kind of weird chapter. I'm feeling the 'second fic pressure,' you know, with people reading this who haven't read my first fic and being all 'eugh' or like not appreciating my past and everything. --COUGH COUGH READ MY FIRST ONE COUGH COUGH-- Sorry, terrible cold going around.

So. I just want to tell you NOT TO REVIEW! Because what writer wants feedback? Seriously.

For all the less quick, I'm joking, so please review. Yeah, I'm very funny that way, I know.