Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

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Surely he was mishearing things. Right? Right?

How did--? How in the world--? In the name of all things holy, why--? He couldn't answer these partial questions. The best he could do was remain locked in a perpetual state of shock.

It started innocently enough. "Want to play a game, Kyo?" was Tohru's question.

"Sure," he answered.

"Okay, all we need is that," she said.

"That?"

"Yeah, and you put it in here."

"Okay, gotcha. But, uh..."

"Don't tell me you're scared! You want to be pleasured, right?"

"Well, yeah, but… What if I hate it? Can I trust you on this?"

"You won't. It's gonna be fun, I promise!"

"Okay." Rustling. A giggle.

"You won't be disappointed. It's a new experience, but, I know you can do it."

A pause, and then the most frightening sound Yuki had ever heard.

"Hey…That wasn't…OOH! Oh, Tohru, you're good!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh! How's it for you, Tohru?"

"Yes! Kyo! Oh Kyo! It's so good!"

"I swear you've outdone yourself!"

"We have to share with Yuki! He'd love this game!"

"No way! I'm keeping you to myself!"

He walked in, prepared to beg both of them to stop. Instead, he was silent as he saw a plate of riceballs between them.

Tohru smiled. "Want to play Mystery Riceball Flavors, Yuki?"