Chapter Five: Hidden Meanings

It was perhaps three days later, when they had finally left the campsite. Sesshoumaru was annoyed at their delay, due to Izayoi falling ill. Finally though, she had announced that she was well enough to travel once again, and had wrapped Inuyasha tightly in the blanket and held him close to her overheated body.

Sesshoumaru stared at her and smelt the fever emanating off her in waves, but he refused to comment, nor care about her current condition. If she insisted she was well enough to travel, then so be it. Turning and walking away, the youkai led the way through the forest silently.

It was maybe half way through the day when the woman started stumbling through the snow, and he had barely turned his head to scrutinize her. Were all humans so noisy? Izayoi was making such a loud racket that every youkai in the vicinity would hear her.

Finally after pondering what he was going to do, he heard the woman finally collapse into the snow, and Inuyasha began to cry at the sudden movement. Sesshoumaru turned and stared at the human for a long moment, before he walked back to her slowly, trying to discern if she was perhaps faking her sudden ailment. Tilting his head at her stillness, he heard her heart clearly enough, but it was beating far too loudly, and quickly.

Frowning, he bent over and rolled her onto her side and gently took the hanyou from her limp arms, and stared at her once again. Inuyasha's cries stilled instantly, and the pup cooed. Izayoi's face was so pale that Sesshoumaru actually felt alarm growing inside him.

If this woman died, who was to care for the hanyou? Certainly not him. He wouldn't hear of it. Snarling softly, Sesshoumaru picked the woman up in his free arm, and began searching for somewhere to make another camp. Damn humans and their weaknesses.

It didn't take him long to find a clearing that was large enough to house a human, a hanyou, and a full-bred youkai. Placing Izayoi down the snow covered ground; he shrugged out of his fur and wrapped it around her tightly. Wrinkling his nose, he grunted. He still was unsure as to why he was caring for a human. Why did he care if she was ill? It didn't benefit him any. Looking down in his other arm, he stared at Inuyasha before placing him next to his mother.

Walking away to the edge of the small camp, Sesshoumaru began gathering small sticks so he could start a fire. Once again his thoughts traveled to his last moments with his father. He knew his father had gone to fight Ryuukotsusei for him. The youkai had stumbled across him while he had been distracted and before he could react or even register the powerful youkai that had descended on him, Sesshoumaru had been tossed into a tree forcefully, breaking several of his ribs.

The next coherent thought had been waking up in the human's chambers, with his father leaning over him anxiously. After a weeks healing, with his father's aid, and the human's aid, even though he had never set eyes on her during that time, Sesshoumaru had heard his father's side of the story on how he had come to be at the location. Ryuukotsusei had managed to injure him seriously, and follow the scent that he, Sesshoumaru carried, and located his father in the human village.

His father had fought the dragon, protecting not only him, but the pathetic humans as well, and that left a small jealous feeling linger in his chest. He was no longer the only one his father looked out for, and protected. These humans were also on the forefront of his father's mind, and he felt inadequate.

After his father had returned from the battle with the dragon, Sesshoumaru at first had feared that his father would die before his very eyes. The massive wound, and blood had caused Sesshoumaru to reel back in surprise. The Inu Taisho stood staring at the ocean calmly. He seemed to know that his time was short, and therefore stood there silently, not even greeting his son when he arrived.

Sesshoumaru had stared at his father's back for a long time before his father spoke.

"I trust everything is well?"

Sesshoumaru scowled. He remembered his father's parting words to him the day he had left to fight the dragon. 'You are to remain here and watch over this village.' His father had requested.

He had agreed of course. Sesshoumaru didn't despise them at first. No, he had met the human woman before, but it had been so long ago that Sesshoumaru believed that she had not remembered, or her body was still in shock over the death of his father, and over the childbirth.

At their first meeting, Sesshoumaru had been injured as well. He remembered that Hyoga and his son Menomaru had attacked him, when he had gone searching for his long time inuyoukai friend. Seriously injured, and unable to fight off both powerful youkai himself, Sesshoumaru had gone in search of his father. The battle had been an easy one, with Menomaru, however when the jyaki intensified in the air, when Sesshoumaru was about to deliver the final blow to the moth youth, he had jumped back surprised and slightly afraid.

Hyoga had sensed his son's demise and had come to investigate. It was then that Sesshoumaru knew he was out of his league. The father of the young youkai, Menomaru, was far more powerful then himself, and he had been backed into a corner. They had attacked him. Even though Menomaru was already injured, his father's presence had given him new power therefore successfully driving the young inuyoukai back.

Sesshoumaru had followed his father's scent to a human village. He knew that his father had sensed him, as he approached a river near the village. The Inu Taisho had stood with the human woman watching and waiting for his arrival. His father's words had been filled with worry, but they had been calm.

"You have sought me out." His father had said simply.

Sesshoumaru had jumped across the river, wincing in pain at all the injuries he had sustained in his battle with the moth youkai. Once he was on the same bank as his father and the human woman, his father spoke again.

"Why have you sought me out?"

Sesshoumaru had taken a deep breath and locked his gaze onto his father's. Understanding flashed in the Inu Taisho's eyes, but Sesshoumaru spoke his words for the humans benefit. "For guidance."

"You are injured."

The pain was almost unbearable, and Sesshoumaru had lifted his hand to try and staunch the blood flow, that fell freely from his side.

He had simply nodded, unable to form words on his mouth.

His father understood, he always did. "It has been a few years, Sesshoumaru." Then his father had smiled.

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That had been Izayoi's and his first meeting, and he was somewhat surprised that she didn't remember him. He had been in shock also, after his father's demise, that her face had blended into the other mortal's faces, and thus he had not remembered her either. Now he did, as he thought back on those prior days before his father had died. Once again his memory flared to life, they were back on the banks, him staring at his father's back, and his father staring at the full moon overlooking the ocean.

Oh yes, his father had asked him to watch over the human village, which he did without question. The hatred for the human kind had come when Sesshoumaru discovered the malicious intent from Izayoi's personal guard, Takemaru. Sesshoumaru had witnessed on several occasions his attempts at winning the human woman's heart, but she had always refused. Izayoi was a bright woman, weak, but brilliant. Sesshoumaru remembered tutoring her on youkai ceremony, and ruling.

The human woman had learned quickly, and had followed every one of his instructions without question. But it had been Takemaru who had begun to be a problem. Sesshoumaru remembered sitting in a tree, outside the woman's room, and he had heard the guard's conversation with another member of his war party.

"Satsuna Takemaru, but you can't force her into marriage." The young guard had protested.

"I can do as I wish. She will be mine whether she wishes it or not. I will have her as my wife, and she will bear my children before the month ends. If I have to take her forcefully, then so be it. This ridiculous fascination with a demon will end." Takemaru had seethed.

Sesshoumaru had snorted, and left it as it was, an empty threat. But he couldn't believe that humans were so despicable as to attempt such a thing. The human men were far different then youkai males. The way they treated human woman filled him with anger. That had been the beginning of his hatred. It had only intensified as the weeks pressed on.

Finally Sesshoumaru had had enough, and had left the village, and began wandering. It was maybe a week later when he caught his father's scent, and he had practically raced to his father's side. However it had not been the reunion that Sesshoumaru had been hoping for.

They were back on the banks of the ocean, and Sesshoumaru felt his heart tighten in anguish. Even though outside his face remained smoothed over in indifference, inside his body was in torment.

"Why are not in the village, Sesshoumaru?" His father had asked, his words laced with pain.

"I have had enough of those mortals." Sesshoumaru had ground out between clenched teeth.

"Oh? Did something happen?"

Sesshoumaru watched the blood drip from his father's left hand, onto the white snow. "Hai. You could say that." Sesshoumaru wrinkled his nose in remembrance. "That human guard that watches over your mate is despicable."

His father had nodded. "I knew that."

"Were you also aware of his attempts to take her as his own?"

"Hai, Sesshoumaru. He will not succeed. The man value's his life, he will not attempt such a thing."

"You are wrong father. Something has caused this man's heart to blacken."

His father had stiffened at the cold words from his son's mouth. "I see. Your heart has also hardened. It is no longer filled with mild curiosity, but filled with hatred for their kind."

"I have had enough of them. I find their way of life pathetic and useless. If they can plot demise against their own kind, I wish to have nothing to do with them. They are malicious, and evil."

"Not all are evil, Sesshoumaru."

They stood on the banks remaining silent for well over an hour, and finally Sesshoumaru had asked the question he had been holding in. "You are going father?"

"Are you going to stop me, Sesshoumaru?" The hidden words behind their conversation were still fresh in his mind.

All Sesshoumaru wanted was his father to leave the swords behind. He knew that if his father took all three of his swords, then the battle would be one of hatred and greed, and death.

"I will not try and stop you father, however before that, I would like the fangs, Sou'unga and Tessaiga to be handed to me." Oh he wanted the swords for himself, that much was true, but the real meaning behind it was a simple one to him. His father knew what he had meant. 'If you go there with the power swords, your death will be a sure thing. Leave the swords with me, retrieve the mortal woman and return.'

His father had known what Sesshoumaru had meant. What his son didn't know was that he was already dying. "If I say I won't give them to you…will you kill me? Your own father?" In truth, his father had meant that it was useless to stop him for his death was already fated. "Do you desire power that much? His father had asked. "Why do you seek power, my son?" Those words reverberated in his head even now. His father's true meaning behind the words were more meaningful then any he had deciphered before. 'Power is not as important as love. Our time is short, and I must go. Live Sesshoumaru. Find your path in life, you are young.'

Sesshoumaru remembered flinching, but quickly masking it. A youkai conversation was more intense then a human one, always hidden meanings and guidance behind it. Most humans used words for the sake of speaking, but youkai used them only for purpose.

"I must travel the path of conquest. Power is necessary in order to walk that path." Sesshoumaru felt his eyes close. The words were painful to remember, as much as they had been to hear. 'I want to grow powerful like you. I need you to be here to train me. I cannot do this on my own, father.' His true words had fallen onto his father's ears. They had been heard. There was no doubt in his mind, even now.

"Conquest? Huh." His father had uttered. 'You and I both know my time is short. I am dying, and therefore your path is your own to follow now.'

Sesshoumaru didn't want to believe it. If his father rested, healed himself, instead of fought, he would live. Why did he insist on fighting more? Did he love this human woman so much? Her and his unborn child?

"Sesshoumaru, is there something you want something to protect?" His father's words had cut through him, like a freshly sharpened katana. 'Do not let your heart be taken over by blackness. Protect her; I will not live to see this child. This is the last thing I ask of you.'

The inner turmoil that Sesshoumaru was battling had been the hardest fight he had dealt with. "I have no need…to pursue such an endeavor." He had flicked his right hand out, allowing his poison to seep to the tips. 'Please father, do not go. Let me instead. Let me fight in your place. I'll bring her to you.'

His father had transformed his body then howling at the moon. Leaving Sesshoumaru feeling slightly inadequate once again. 'Live! Do not follow my path. I do not wish for you to witness this! My time on this earth is over, live for me! Teach the child what I have taught you, protect the child.' His father had run off, leaving him feeling empty.

"Ridiculous." Sesshoumaru muttered as he turned away. He meant those words. It was ridiculous.

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Sesshoumaru stared at the fire long and hard, remembering everything about his father. Looking over his shoulder, he stared at the human woman and infant wrapped in his fur. His father had requested him to watch over them, and he would. Even if it was from a distance. Once he dropped them off in a human village, Sesshoumaru would remain hidden, until the child was of an age to fend for himself. Inuyasha. That was what his father had named the child, before he had died. Dog forest spirit. There were several meanings the child had to his name. However Dog forest spirit was the only one that made sense. It was the only logical one. The other meaning was female dog demon. Surely his father had known that Inuyasha was a male, so that one was out of the question.

His father had seen the child then, before his death. Sesshoumaru sighed. The anger he felt towards the human kind was even more potent then before. Takemaru was dead, so to exact his revenge on him was out of the question. Instead, Sesshoumaru now was left without a father, and no one to vent his anger out on. He was alone. He was too young to be alone, without his father's guidance. What was he going to do?

He was now, Sesshoumaru Lord of the Western lands, and he had no idea how to go about being a lord. Would he make his father proud? Could he, when his father was now in his grave? If his father had only left his swords with him, then this wouldn't have happened, would it? Even if his father had been near death, had he just left the swords, instead of preparing to fight, he would have been able to heal his injuries, wouldn't he? Why had his father not used Tessaiga to douse the flames of the house? Sesshoumaru had seen it done before, so why hadn't he done it now?

Had his father given up on life? On him? Frowning, Sesshoumaru sighed again. Was he such a disappointment to his father? He cocked his head to the side when he heard the baby begin to fuss, and he stood slowly. His father had died, giving this woman life, and allowing the child to live. Leaning over and scooping the hanyou into his arms, he sat back down by the fire.

Inuyasha. He looked so much like their father. Could this child be something more? He housed the very blood he despised, but perhaps with the proper training, Sesshoumaru could teach him to live the life of a youkai, rather then that of a human. Inuyasha wouldn't be corrupted by the human maliciousness, he refused to allow it. Narrowing his eyes, he stared at the bright golden orbs of the baby. Inuyasha cooed and caught a strand of his hair.

The eyes glimmered with intelligence. Perhaps there was hope yet for the boy. Smiling softly, Sesshoumaru allowed a growl to rumble through his chest. He would do everything in his power to help the child grow up strong and confident. Nothing would stop him. However, he wondered if the child was smart enough to see through the constant attacks and battles, to understand his real reason for the fight. Years would make that known. If the child housed youkai blood then perhaps the child would understand youkai words, and youkai meanings. Or if the child were an idiot, then he would never understand the real reason.

Staring at the hanyou intently, Sesshoumaru watched as the small fisted hand swung his silver hair back and forth. Rolling his eyes, he wondered if his father's hair had fascinated him so, and if he had done the same thing. "I do have something to protect, father." He whispered. "I will protect this child, and teach him what I can. I will live."