Intervention

Summary: The Zelda gang is tired of Link's mute ways. They are planning to have an intervention with the Hero of Time to try and turn him away from being mute all the time.
Will they be successful or will all the girls get in a big fight before hand?

Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda!

Zelda paced back and forth in front of her bed. Ruto, Malon, Mido, Darunia and Saria sat on the king sized bed watching the princess pace back and forth. Zelda would say the odd murmur to herself but no one could tell what she was thinking. Everyone was puzzled to why Zelda called them to the castle and why she was in a big rush. They all had one thing in common, they were all Link's closest friends or knew him well enough. The message was sent out five days after Link returned to Hyrule from adventuring, which led them to wonder.

Zelda finally stopped pacing and turned to face everyone. "I called you all here for a simple reason. I've grown tired of Link never talking. Am I the only one who realizes he hasn't said one word to me.. During the battle he never said a word, only nodded to me. Even when he got back he only waved hello, nothing else. I'm just getting worried at the fact he never speaks, is he a mute?"

Malon stood up. "I don't believe Link is a mute. Only really shy, besides I've heard him scream in pain.. Does that count? He's never said a word to me either.. So don't take it personally. In order to find out his name he wrote it with branches on the ground."

"Hahaha! He probably never learned how to speak! That might be the case, maybe just needs someone to teach him that's all.." Darunia suggested.

"This may sound a bit odd, but he's my best friend. He's actually never said a word to me either. After raising him for ten years he never said one thing to me.. I think it might be best if we do something. Like you suggest Princess Zelda." Saria said playing with a strand of green hair.

"That's funny! Saria is best friends with a speechless dork! Good thing he never talked! Or he might have made our ears bleed with his voice! But man, a person who doesn't say anything is a D-O-R-K times ten!" Mido said, everyone gave him a evil glare.

"Mido, that is mean calling poor Link a dork! And so what he's my best friend! I like him just the way he is! I bet you're just jealous!" Saria smirked.

Mido stood up in front of the small Sage of the Forest. "You hang with him, that makes you a dork and him a bigger dork! He's a stupid dork!" Mido looked to his right to see Malon giving him a evil stare while holding a fairly pointy pitch fork in her hands. To his right Zelda had a magic blue ball ready to be thrown at him.

"What did you call Link?" Malon asked holding the pitch fork at Mido's throat.

"You will say you're sorry right? Say sorry for calling Link something bad!" Zelda commanded.

"Damn that dork! How come he has so many fan girls! He never says anything, but I do and I have none! So what? He's hot, dreamy, sexy and all out Hunk! Oh... That's why..."

Darunia sighed, "did anyone here my suggestion? Anyone?" The three girl's were too busy backing poor little Mido into the back corner. "Just throw him out the window and let the crocks have fun with him.." Still no one was paying attention to Darunia.

Ruto was day dreaming on the bed about how 'romantic' Link was. "Oh how romantic! He's so shy! Maybe once our wedding is done he'll finally say he loves me!" Ruto squealed. "Oh what a sensitive and sweet guy Link is! He's so mysterious which makes him even more dreamy.. Sigh, Mrs. Link Ruto.. I like that name!" The Zora said to herself.

"Have mercy on me please! I take it back! I take it back! Don't do that! Ouch that hurts!" Malon was poking his flesh with the pitch fork. Darunia sat amused and annoyed at the same time. He was amused at how the girls were slowly killing Mido, nice and slowly. And how everyone was ignoring him..

"AHHH!"

Outside the Castle..

"Yo Rachel! I heard you get a new promotion today! And how's the family doing?" Lee the guard asked.

"By family you mean wife and kids right? Because I kinda.."

"Umm ya.. .What's wrong? Anything wrong?"

"Lee, I'm girl. I only dress up like a guy because to be here, with you... And I love you!" Rachel cried out.

"Oh my goddesses.. Wonder if some random event were just to kill me right now.." Lee looked up to see a battered corpse of Mido falling from the top tower window.

The corpse came down at high speeds. It fell right on top of Rachel. He went crashing to the ground, and pain struck him a split second later. "Lee! Help me! I can't feel my legs! I think my back is broken! Help me please!" Rachel coughed up some blood.

"Um.. Close enough.. I'll just move more to the right.." A pitch fork came falling down right on top of Lee. Splitting the guard in half, cleanly too!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rachel called out before dieing.

In the room...

"Zelda that was a great suggestion! Just throw the corpse out of the window and we won't be questioned! You are truly the wise one!" Malon praised the princess.

"And that was my suggestion!" Darunia muttered to himself.

"Ok! So we'll have an intervention for Link! Tomorrow at high noon in the field! We'll get him to talk one way or the other!" Zelda slammed her fist into her open palm. "Remember everyone!"

"Aye Aye!" Malon called out. Everyone left single file out of the room of the Princess.

Zelda looked around to make sure no one was looking as she made her way to her closet. She opened it, a drawing of Link smelling like flowers fell out. "Oh silly me! It fell out of place.." Zelda neatly put the picture a way with the rest of the pictures. Zelda's deepest secret was she loved Link and had a small shrine in his honour. Zelda lit one of the twenty candles that were around the pictures. "Link will say he loves me tomorrow! For once he will say something to me! And we'll live happily ever after!"

In the field...

Link sat on the fence looking dumbly side to side. He read over the letter Zelda sent him.

Dear Link,

Please come to the fence in the field. We have to 'talk'. Everyone you know minus Mido is coming. We are just concern with you. Don't think this as a trap or an intervention. Why would we torture you until you talk to us, that's just silly!. We're just going to tell you how much we care about you and welcome you home.. Again!

Love,

Zelda

"Link!" Called all four girls at once as they towards him. Link flinched and ended up on the other side of the fence. He got up and brushed himself off. He shrugged his shoulders and put his hands up, palms facing up. Meaning, 'what?'.

"Zelda, he did come after all!" Malon said, a bit shocked that he fell for the letter...

"He's so sensitive and cute! I can just eat him all up!" Ruto was day dreaming about Link again. All the other girls sighed.

Darunia came by and had a seat on the far side of the fence. He was curious to see how these girls were to pull a successful intervention off. "Link, you know why we called you here?" Saria said gently to him. Link shook his head. "Were here at an intervention for you. We are going to try and get you to talk for once." Link started to show signs of panic. It was too late for him to react. Zelda and Malon tied a rope around him. They secured it to the tree, making sure Link wouldn't get away.

"Does anyone know how to do a intervention?" Malon asked.

"I don't know.. Maybe Darunia knows.. I guess he wouldn't.." Saria said.

"Maybe we tell Link how special it would be to us if he talked." Zelda said while stroking her arm.

"Like sappy impact statements from the accused in trials so they get off right?"

"Correct Malon! It might work! Malon you go first.." Malon slowly made her way to the tied up Link.

"Link, I'd love to hear your voice for once. Please fairy boy, just tell me you're name without using branches. I always wondered how you're voice sounds like.. For all these years I wondered what that beautiful voice sounds like. Do it for me? Please!" Malon gave huge puppy eyes at the Hero. He closed his and opened his mouth. Malon's heart started to move quicker.

Burp-

Malon was red in the face, she brought her hand over and smacked Link hard on the cheek. Link held his hands up in front of him and waved them in circles. His way of saying 'sorry'. Malon sighed, "I shouldn't be mad at you.. It's natural.. to a... Burp.. Maybe you'll have better luck Saria." Malon went to join Zelda a few meters a way.

Saria went up to her friend. "Link if you don't want to talk, that's fine with me." Saria put a comforting hand on his shoulder and walked back to Zelda and Malon.

"Saria, being like that won't ever get him to talk..." Malon said dryly. "Zelda you're our last hope, unless fish can do it.." Ruto was still day dreaming about Link.

Zelda went up to Link and sat down beside him on the fence. "Link why don't you ever talk?" She asked. Link shrugged his shoulders. "Are you scared of us?" He shook his head. "Too shy?" Link shook his head. "Please Link for the people of Hyrule and us! Please Link I beg of you speak! For once speak!" Link blinked and tilted his head at Zelda. "So that's it.. We will never make you talk." Zelda had tears forming in her eyes. Link nodded, Zelda ran back to everyone else.

Ruto waddled her way up to Link. "Link! I know how romantic you are! I know of your un confessing love for me my future husband! You love me! And words can't tell how much you love me! As you remain silent! I know you always love me!" Ruto wrapped her arms around Link.

"No..." Link said, wrestling himself out of Ruto's grip. "Get away from me you crazy people! Is it that bad I don't talk all the time! Geesh just leave me alone! AHHHHHHHHHH!" Link charged off in the other direction pulling his hair.

"Wow, he broke the rope.. He was in that much of a rush to get away from us... Ruto thanks for scaring Linkie off! He'll never say he loves me!" Malon had tears streaming down her face. Her and Zelda were hugging while they cried.

"Link doesn't love me either!" Zelda went into more tears.

Ruto was in her own world... "It's all just a dream. Of course Zelda and Malon don't love him! Only I love him! Wah! He loves me! He loves me! Since he's so romantic!"

Saria tilted her head in confusion as she saw all her friends crying. She shrugged, "time for an intervention for all of them..."

Link was sitting next to Darunia, observing the crying girls. "Finally one realizes I'm alive." Darunia said dryly. "So brother, why don't you ever talk?"

Link sighed, "because of one simple reason. Chicks dig the hot guy who's shy, mysterious and sensitive." Link smirked.

"That explains all the fan girls.."

"Yep! Well it was nice talking but I'm going back to the old ways." Link waved his hand at Darunia.

"The only person in Hyrule who listens to me and talks to me.. Is the only person that won't talk in Hyrule.. Just my luck!"

Hoped you enjoyed my first one shot..