Hello! To you who are about to read this fic, be warned! This fic is spawned from some sort of side effect that I had from taking Sudafed (it supposed to clear up a stuffy nose and stuff like that). I was up all night for some reason (I checked the box andsleeplessness is one of the side-effects) and this just sort of popped into my head. It's fairly random, and I hope it will make you smile! This fic takes place between the 3rd and 4th Episodes.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any of its affiliated characters, space crafts, or other fancy doo-dads (is that a word?). I also don't own a pair of purple pants...
Star Wars: What Isn't Mentioned
Chapter 1:
Of Stars and Sith
Darth Vader strutted down one of the many corridors of the Star Destroyer he was currently making his residence on. As he walked he hummed a little tune to himself (A/N: his theme music from the movies). This of course drew odd looks from many of the Clone Troopers he was passing. As he walked past a group of admirals he thought he heard one of them snickering.
"Who is snickering at me," he said as he turned on the group.
"It was him Lord Vader," said one of the admirals pointing at one of his comrades.
"And just what, may I ask, do you find so funny," he asked the now terrified man.
"I…uh…that is to say…Lord Vader…I found your little ditty fairly amusing," replied the admiral.
"I see," said Vader. As he walked away, the group let out a collective sigh of relief. Lord Vader's temper was legendary and they did not want to find themselves on his bad side. As Lord Vader turned the corner, the accused admiral began to squawk and wave his arms around. The others watched in fear as he was picked up into the air and bashed repeatedly into the ceiling.
Meanwhile, Darth Vader continued down the corridors. He was headed for the Emperor's Office. He had been summoned at last. He figured he finally going to be granted his own Star Destroyer and possibly even his own group of lackeys. As he entered the Office he stopped when he noticed that the Emperor was not giving him one ofhis "you're making me so proud Lord Vader" looks.
"Please sit down, Lord Vader," commanded the Emperor, using the Force to pull up a chair for him.
"What is this about Master," questioned Vader. A look of almost frustration passed over the Emperor's face, but it was hard to tell because of all the wrinkles and scars.
The Emperor looked at him and said, "I'm not happy Lord Vader, ask me why I'm not happy."
"Why aren't you happy Master," said Vader following the command.
"Listen, I'm all for killing the innocent and everything. You know that I'm sure, but you've been on a bit of a spree lately and it needs to stop," answered the Emperor, "we're beginning to have trouble replacing everyone you seem to be killing off. Good help is not easy to come by these days, and we need all the help we can get. I mean look at the Death Star!"
Lord Vader looked out the large window of his mentor's office to see the half completed Death Star. "I see what you mean Master," he commented, "but all the more reason to punishpeopleI believe."
"That may be so," said the Emperor crossing his arms, "but we've already been through about 6 general contractors this month!" At this Vader laughed an evil laugh. The Emperor looked at him with a glare that would have cut him to pieces if it had had the chance. "Lord Vader, did you just do what I think you did," he said angrily.
"Yes my Master, I've been working on my evil laugh," replied Vader.
"Do you remember our rule," growled the Emperor.
"What, you mean the one about not wearing purple pants on Wednesdays," suggested Vader.
"No, of course not; although, I must say Lord Vader I am disappointed that you forgot," replied the Emperor motioning to the purple bellbottoms Vader had on, "but I must admit those pants are quite slimming on you. Anyway, I was referring to the rule that states that nobody, other than myself and my mother when she visiting, is allowed to laugh evilly except on Thursdays. Now tell me Lord Vader, is today Thursday?"
"No, I am sorry Master, it is not Thursday," answered Vader bowing to show his humbleness.
"Right, so never ever let me catch you laughing evilly again, unless it's Thursday," scolded the Emperor.
"Unless it's Thursday," repeated Vader turning to leave.
"And remember Lord Vader," reminded Sidious, "don't kill anybody unless you absolutely have to. Right, now where did I put my blasted medications?"
The next day (it being Thursday) Darth Vader awoke and double-checked his calendar to be extra sure of the date. He then left his quarters and laughed evilly as he began his daily routine.
So, how was it? Please review. I really don't like flames, but I'll take them if that's all you can say. I was thinking of doing a chapter for Yoda, and one for Obi-Wan. Please tell me if you want me to continue!