First and foremost, this is the last installment in the 'Problems' series. Never fear though, I will more than likely write more humourous pieces like this when the fancy strikes, but they won't be a part of this series. All good things must come to an end, eh?
I would like to thank every one of my loyal reviewers. I never thought this one would become so popular. I would like to personall thank those who sent me their ideas and suggestions for chapters. They are: lord of the potters, Sutoriitoenzeru-Street Angel, mernpip4ever, AmorLunaris, Azu Luna, Miriam Mrirund, brionyjae, Lani-David, Jazzed Up, Megalicious Moony, CelticHeiressFiona, OfficialCheeseTaster, SexOnLegs, dyingonthursday, Isidoria, lunasoleil, N.C. PsyChick, Emmasj, volleyballblonde, Jack or Jill, From The Dark I will Rise, LanisFanFiction, creepy clown doll, beserkergoddess andloonyluna9.(If I forgot anyone I am deeply sorry.) Without you guys this wouldn't have been nearly as long. You guys truly are my inspiration.
So, without further ado, I present:
Perfect Problems
"Well?"
"Well what? Honestly Potter, have you suffered a stroke?"
"No. I meant, do you have something to tell me?"
"Last night I accidentally used your toothbrush. I'm deeply sorry. It will never happen again."
"No, you prat. Today is an important say and you seem to have completely forgotten you have anything to say."
"Wouldn't I be the first to know if I had something to say?"
"You have forgotten! I can't believe you!"
"I was unaware of the fact that I was supposed to remember something. I hardly remember your name the majority of the time."
"You don't have any trouble remembering my last name. We've had this conversation before. You constantly forget to call me Harry, but that's beside the point."
"What is your point, exactly? I've got food to cook and I can't be wasting precious marinating time trying to guess which made-up holiday I forgot about this time."
"It isn't made up! Believe me, you're going to feel really bad when you realize what I'm talking about."
"I'll be blown away, more like. I hardly ever know what you're talking about. You speak in some foreign code."
"Whatever you say, love."
"I'm glad you finally grasp that concept. Now, I made a list of things I need from the grocer's. Be a dear and fetch them for me."
"Since when am I your errand boy?"
"Since last night. You owe me big time."
"Fine. Now where did you hide my wallet?"
"I didn't touch your…oh wait, it's behind the sink in the loo."
"Should I even ask why?"
"No. Probably not."
"Alright, I'll be back in a bit. Don't burn the flat down while I'm away.
"No promises."
"Draco, come in here and help me put away the groceries."
"Just leave the groceries and come here. I've got a surprise."
"Unless it involves a magical house elf-like robot to put up the groceries I'm not interested."
"It's not, but I know you'll be interested. Please?"
"Don't even start with me Draco. I had to search for hours for those stupid crisps you wanted. So you know, they don't make them anymore. They had to dig around in the back of the bloody store to find a bag and it's a little smashed so you had better not bitch."
"What's with the hostility? Here I am with a lovely surprise for you and you're snapping at me because they happen to not make the type of crisps I put on the list? Why didn't you just get a different kind?"
"Because you didn't bloody write down an alternate flavour. Why didn't you just kill me before I left and get it over with?"
"Touché. I'll promise to help you put up the groceries after you come in here. If you come right now I promise there will be a hell of a lot of sex involved. Like…more sex than you've ever seen in your life."
"Does it have to be with you?"
"You're pushing it."
"If you couldn't tell by my hostility, I'm not that pleased with you at the moment."
"Please? I'll love you forever."
"You're already going to love me forever. You promised you would when you married me."
"I knew that would come back to haunt me."
"And I'm pushing it?"
"Harry…you have two choices. One you come in here and there will be sex, or you don't come and I hurt you."
"Now I really want to come. Are you truly insane?"
"No. Harry…"
"Fine, I'm coming. Happy?"
"I…"
"Happy Anniversary, lover."
"But…"
"I didn't forget. You just were fooled by my brilliant acting skills."
"Draco…"
"We've been together for seventeen years today. Aren't I the best husband ever?"
"You're the best one I've had."
"Now, I tried to make some sort of chicken contraption, but I had some problems and…"
"No, it's perfect. You're perfect."
"Thank you. You're not too bad yourself."
"I love you."
"I love me too."
"Draco…"
"I love you too, pet."
End
And that, my dear readers, is the end! Thanks for your support and encouragement.