Disclaimer:………………………….. What was this for again?
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Regaining What Was Missing
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AN: Another of my random insanity pieces that I just had to write. Like Beautiful Day, this story is NOT meant to be taken seriously, so please do not send me review asking if this is my view on the characters involved. This is meant merely to make people laugh, and perhaps get a few "HUH?'s". Story time.
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"Well this is… odd." Tsunade muttered, rubbing her chin thoughtfully as she gazed at the x-ray print that hung pinned up in front of her. She shifted her glance behind her towards her patient, then back towards the x-ray, then back to her patient, trying to understand the situation.
"I have never seen this kind of thing before…" She muttered absently, trailing off as she pondered the situation.
"A-ano… what is wrong with me Hokage-sama?" The patient asked softly, twiddling her fingers together nervously. Frankly when you have a checkup, it could never be considered a good thing to hear you doctor refer to an 'odd situation'. Hinata began to sweat slightly.
Tsunade turned around to regard the young girl sitting on the bed before her. What she had to say could very well shake this girl's world. Hell she was still trying to wrap her mind around it herself.
"Well… hmmm, how should I explain this? I guess just coming out and saying it might be best, though I should probably get a second professional opinion on the situation first…" Tsunade muttered to herself. Sticking her head out the door she shouted down the hall at the top of her lungs "SHIZUNE!"
A crash could be heard down the hall, followed by a shriek of pain. A feminine voice answered a short while later "What is it Hokage-sama! Oh geeze Yakamura-san I really did not mean to stick the needle there…"
A few minutes later a young, rather attractive young woman ran into the room, looking rather disheveled and somewhat mortified.
"W-what is it Hokage-sama!" She panted.
Completely unfazed by the whole situation, Tsunade gestured to the x-ray on the wall "What do you make of this?"
Glancing at the x-ray curiously, Shizune seemed to be at a loss for a moment as to exactly what she was supposed to be looking for. Then, eyes widening, she blanched and backed away. This reaction served only to fuel the young girl's unease even more, and her already pale complexion went almost stark white.
"Man, I have never seen anything like this before. Are you sure it isn't a misprint?" Shizune asked.
Tsunade shook her head, "No, this is accurate. But… wow."
"A-a-a-a-ano, w-what exactly is wrong with me?" Hinata asked. The nervous twitch of her fingers increased in speed.
Shizune looked back at her with an expression of sheer morbid fascination. Tsunade was still gazing thoughtfully at the print out.
"Well Hinata, after careful analysis and numerous tests, we have concluded something rather extraordinary. Frankly I simply cannot explain it…"
"Although it does explain an awful lot of other things." Shizune chimed in.
"That's true. Anyways, we have concluded from numerous tests…"
Hinata clasped her hands nervously.
Tsunade took a deep breath "That you have no spine."
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"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-WHAT!" Hinata shrieked. Or rather 'eeped'. Her face, which was currently a sickly off white from worry, went completely pasty as the last of her color drained from her face. She sat utterly catatonic on the examination bed.
Tsunade pointed a finger at the x-ray on the wall "See, there in the middle of your body? There is nothing there, just a blank spot. You literally have no spine."
"Ummm, Hokage-sama, I don't think she really wants such a clinical explanation…" Shizune deadpanned.
"Oh, ok." Tsunade then turned back to Hinata, walked over to her and put her hands on her shoulders in a comforting manner "Hinata, your going to be just fine!" Tsunade stated brightly, giving her a large reassuring smile." Hinata looked completely mortified.
Noticing her expression, Tsunade hurriedly added "I might also be able to perform a spinal implant procedure. It is risky, but I can honestly say that it is no more risky than having walked around your entire life without a spine. I mean how in the hell did that happen, how the hell could it happen, what on earth could have…" She babbled on.
"Hokage-sama!" Shizune yelled, trying to get Tsunade focused again.
"Oh right. Anyway, the procedure will take a few hours, and I suggest that we start immediately. Shizune." Tsunade finished with an expectant glance towards her apprentice.
Shizune was way ahead of her, already having finished emptying a bottle of… something… into a small rag. Slipping behind Hinata quickly, she placed the rag over her mouth, holding it in place as the young girl struggled briefly before passing out.
"Let the operation begin."
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"Oi! Another bowl here!"
Naruto was currently sitting at his favorite location in Konoha; The Ramen Stand. A pile of bowls sat next to him, followed by another as the blond gennin placed his newly finished bowl at the top of the growing mountain.
Suddenly a strange shiver went down his spine.
Looking around warily, he eventually shook off the feeling when the next steaming bowl of ramen was placed before him.
--
Hours later:
"Well" Tsunade started, wiping sweat off her brow, "the operation seems to have been a success."
Shizune nodded, "Yeah, but I just wonder how this will affect things?"
Tsunade shrugged her shoulders.
A groan from the bed drew their attention as Hinata sat up. Her posture seemed better than usual, a little straighter, a little more pride. She glanced at the two medics.
"How do you feel Hinata?" Tsunade asked.
Hinata looked over herself, "… Better. Thanks a lot oba-chan."
Shizune looked nervously between the two, "I just knew there would be changes" she muttered to herself.
"OBA-CHAN!" Tsunade screamed.
Hinata shrugged, "Don't get all worked up over it. Well… am I done here? Later." Hinata stated. She leapt out of bed and strode out the door, a confidant strut in her step.
Tsunade and Shizune looked at each other.
"What have we done?" They asked in unison.
--
Hinata strode coolly down the streets of Konoha towards the large Hyuuga clan manor, her strid confidant and assured. This, of course, earned her countless stares from the general populace, who had never seen the normally shy Hyuuga walk with such assurance before. Hinata didn't seem to notice, too caught up she was in her newfound confidence. She felt like she could, for the first time, control her own destiny and that feeling sent such a rush through her that she almost felt like she was flying.
She walked confidently into the Hyuuga household, brushing past the guards at the gate who were almost thrust aside by her brash entrance. Walking into the main courtyard she saw her cousin Neji cooling down after a long days practice, sipping at a small cup of tea. He noted her arrival with a degree of surprise, mostly the extra energy in her step. Her father and younger sister Hanabi were here as well, obviously still in the middle of training.
Hyuuga Hiashi, noticing the arrival of his 'lesser daughter' cast her a cold look.
"So, back from your examination I assume?" He asked politely, more of a conditioned response than anything else.
Hinata ignored him as she stepped up onto the deck and into the main house, kicking off her sandals carelessly as she entered.
This did not sit well with the Hyuuga patriarch, "Do NOT ignore me Hinata!" He growled. He walked menacingly towards his daughter, ignoring the small warning signals in his mind.
Neji looked on, a curious expression on his face as he viewed the drama playing out before him.
Hinata spun on her heel towards her father, her eyes firm, without a hint of hesitation. Her stance was strong and solid, not at all timid like she had been before. She locked eyes with her father defiantly.
And gave him the finger.
"Swivel on it bitch." She stated evenly.
CRASH
Neji's tea glass fell to the floor and shattered, his jaw quickly following it. He stood staring at his cousin in utter shock and amazement.
Hanabi fared no better. She stood gawking at her timid older sister in complete horror, casting a nervous glance towards her father.
Hyuuga Hiashi… looked as though he had been struck dead on the spot. He stared stupidly at his daughter as if she had grown an extra head. He stuttered a few syllables, but seemed completely incapable of forming anything closely related to a completely sentence.
Smirking with satisfaction, Hinata walked back into the house. With this new found confidence of hers, there was one major thing she had to do. But these old clothes of hers would simply not do.
--
"AHHHHHHHHH! That was good." Naruto sighed contentedly. Behind him Iruka stood at the ramen stand, crying as he literally emptied his wallet on the table, shaking it a few times just to make sure (Yes he really was eating ramen this whole time. Remember I am insane, so I think this all makes sense : )
"Oi dobe."
His satisfaction forgotten at that irritatingly familiar voice, Naruto turned around to see Sasuke walk down the street in his direction, his hands casually stuck in his pockets. His eye twitched slightly.
'Just great, I have to deal with Sasuke-bastard and right after a good ramen meal.' Naruto thought dejectedly.
"Ramen as usual Naruto?" Sakura asked, trailing along slightly behind Sasuke.
As usual.
"OH NARUTO-KUN!"
The three members of team 7 looked around, completely bewildered.
"What the hell was that?" Asked Sakura.
"Hell I would know… gack." Naruto started to say, before he was cut off as someone jumped him from behind, throwing their arms around his neck. Naruto began to choke.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"H-Hinata?" Sakura asked hesitantly. To be honest only the white eyes gave her away at all. The girl was dressed to kill, a long, skimpy Chinese dress with slits up the sides adorning her surprisingly pleasing figure. Sakura looked down self consciously at her own figure, noting with a good degree of jealousy that the Hyuuga girl was considerably better stacked than she gave her credit for. Those baggy clothes concealed a lot more than she imagined.
Naruto was turning blue at this point.
Releasing her hold on him slightly, Hinata made her way around Naruto slowly, demurely running her hand over his side as she made her way around. Naruto, still trying to catch his breath, failed to notice.
His two teammates did however. Sakura seemed oddly irritated at the display, and Sasuke was attempting to maintain his 'cool' composure, tilting his head up and away from the scene even as a blush made its way into his cheeks.
"So Naruto-kun, what do you think?"
"Cough Gasp"
Sasuke decided to speak up, "Well, I guess even a dumbass like Naruto can get at least one fan girl of his own, though why the hell anyone would bother is beyond… OMPH!" Sasuke was unable to finish the rest of his sentence as he dropped groaning in agony to his knees.
Removing her foot from his groin, Hinata looked menacingly down on the Uchiha "What was that." She asked softly.
"S-scary…" Sakura muttered, too shocked by the scene to even come to Sasuke's defense.
"S-stupid… dobe… stupid…" He managed to grunt. He was rewarded as Hinata sent another sharp kick to his privates. His eyes rolled up in his head and he keeled over sideways. Various bystanders, mostly male, held their own groins in sympathy.
"Thought so. Common Naruto-kun." She chirped happily, dragging the now recovered blond down the street. Naruto looked back over his shoulder towards Sakura, hoping for a little help.
Sakura simply watched him go. She had no intention of risking life an limb given what she had just seen. Remembering Sasuke, she knelt by the unconscious boy, trying desperately to rouse him.
--
Naruto had absolutely no idea what he should do. He barely knew Hinata, and what he did know, well this certainly was not the shy dark girl that he had known during the exams.
This Hinata was scary.
They were currently walking down the street, arm in arm, Hinata smiling over at him every so often. This would not be so bad except for the fact that she had an uncomfortably tight grip. And every time he balked, her grip would tighten alarmingly.
"Isn't this fun Naruto-kun?" She asked happily.
What fun, all they had been doing was walking down the street while she slowly squeezed the life from his right arm.
While certainly not one of the most sensitive or observant people in the world, Naruto none-the-less had a keen survival sense, and his survival instincts were kicking into overdrive.
- Disagreeing with Hinata Pain, terrible pain. Refer to Sasuke for example.
"O-oh, yeah, fun…" Naruto stuttered, giving her a nervous grin.
Suddenly two shapes materialized before them, and Naruto gave an inner shout of joy.
"Oba-chan, Shizune-san!"
Hinata fixed them with a death glare.
"Don't worry Naruto, well correct the mistake that we made." Tsunade said. Shizune nodded.
"What mistake?"
"We discovered that Hinata, mysteriously enough, was born with no spine. Attempting to correct this, we put her through a spinal implant surgery. However, it seems that the effects are more dangerous than we originally believed."
"Huh?"
"She had no spine, literally. For some reason her lack self-confidence was based upon the fact that she did not have a spine. When we performed the surgery, her new spine provided her with confidence, a dangerous level of confidance."
"We must correct this situation. For some ungodly reason, Hinata was born without a spine. The natural order of things must be corrected. Her spine must be removed."
"Umm, won't that kill her." Naruto asked off handedly.
"It didn't seem to bother her before." Tsunaded stated with a shrug.
"Huh?" Naruto muttered. Hinata grasped his arm even more tightly.
"Naruto-kun please. I finally have confidance. I finally have the power to stand up for myself and what I want. You won't let them take that away will you?" She pleaded with him.
Naruto looked at her, fighting an internal battle within himself. He could understand her position, finally having the confidence to stand up for one self. He could not help but feel a twinge of compassion for her…
Her grip on his arm was painfully tight though…
"WILL YOU?" She asked, this time with considerably more venom. She twisted his arm painfully.
"Ok Oba-chan, do what ya gotta do." Naruto shouted, pushing Hinata away from him.
Tsunade nodded "Shizune, Chloroform."
"Got it." Shizune answered. She quickly made her way behind Hinata, once again placing the rag over her face.
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"Ok that should just about do it." A voice said.
Hinata opened her eyes slowly to see Tsunade, Shizune, and Naruto all standing over her expectantly.
"A-ano, what happened?" She asked in her usual timid tone.
"Oh nothing…" Tsunade said, refusing to make eye contact. The other two shifted about uncomfortably.
"You just fell asleep on the operating table."
"Operating table?" Hinata asked nervously.
"I mean… examination table." Tsunade corrected herself.
"Oh…"
"Well you're all healthy, absolutely nothing wrong with you" Tsunade chuckled nervously "Naruto, could you please take her home?"
Naruto nodded, a little wary. Hinata blushed a brilliant scarlet. Seeing her reaction, Naruto loosened up considerably. They left the examination room.
The two medics watched them leave. After they were gone, Shizune turned to Tsunade "I still don't get how that girl can walk around without a spine. Isn't that, I don't know, impossible?"
"Hey, if we can deal with super powerful fox demons, giant toads, super perverts who shall remain nameless, and a body switching madman with a tongue that could land him in porno movies, than something like this really isn't all that odd."
"I guess that's true. Want to go get some ice cream?"
Tsunade considered this for about… 1.2 seconds.
"Sure!"
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AN: Yay, my second piece of random weirdness. I was going over the manga again, and I could not help but be inspired for this wired piece of chaos when I considered Hinata's character. Giving her a spinal implant seemed logical (Bear in mind that logical for me is still well on the crazy side of psychotic).
Also, I am planning something for pretty much every character in between chapters of my more serious works, so there is plenty more insanity on the way.
Also, please don't send reviews telling me how character were acting out of character.
I already figure that out.