Disclaimer: Akira Toriyama, rights to DBZ incoming at 6 'o clock!

.-----Frieza: Powerless Incompetence!-----.

Frieza cautiously walked up to the front door of Capsule Corp, he had been stripped of his powers so he was being as careful as possible, who knew what creatures lurked behind these doors? For all he knew it could of been an army of evil squid pirates, or some horrible sixteen headed EA employee. Frieza didn't know what EA was, he just liked making horrendously outdated jokes about gaming companies he never knew existed. Frieza was weird like that, that's why he lost against Trunks, the silly guy was making too many wise cracks about Square-Enix to see Trunks' sword slice him in half. But enough rambling, Freiza slowly tapped his knuckles on the door.

"This is stupid." Freiza sighed. "I was the most powerful being in the Universe, and here I am scared to knock on a door."

"Oh hello!" Trunks smiled as he opened the door. "Are you here to see my father?"

"Holy crap!" Freiza jumped six feet in the air. "He has come back to settle the score!.. Despite being.. really.. small? You! Why are you so small?"

"Uh.. because all children are?"

"I see, so this Trunks is just a child. Phew, no Super Saiyans are going to kill me today!"

"Oh, you wanna see me turn Super Saiyan!" Trunks clapped his hands as he suddenly transformed.

"Ahh!"

"Yeah, cool isn't it?" Trunks laughed. "Wanna see me do it again?"

"No!"

"Okay then." Trunks transformed once more. "Is something wrong, Mister?"

"Oh.. just.. my heart." Frieza clutched onto his chest and ran away.

"What did I do wrong?" Trunks asked as he saw the frightened alien run into the street screaming like an idiot.

"Trunks!" Bulma slapped the boy across the back of the head. "How many times have I told you not to turn Super Saiyan in front of guests!"

"Never, you never told me not to do such a thing."

"Oh right." Bulma slapped her forehead. "Well don't do it anymore!"

.-.

Meanwhile, at the Son house, Goten was busy running around the nearby mountains.

"Stupid Gohan, calling me clumsy!" Goten huffed as he stomped up the trail. "Oops! Sorry Mister Birdy, hope that wasn't all your eggs.. Oh sorry again, guess that was the rest of them, huh?... Aah! I'm so sorry about knocking over your priceless crystal statue of Majin Buu, a villain that hasn't actually appeared yet."

"Oh don't mention it." The bird replied while puffing away on his gentleman pipe.

"Wait, how did you get a priceless crystal statue up here?"

"I didn't. You fell off the mountain and crushed it, and me!" The bird sighed. "Clumsy child!"

"I'm not clumsy!" Goten yelled as he spun around and slammed right into a pole. "Ooooh! That does it, I'm going to get the Dragonballs and wish for myself to be not clumsy anymore! Aha! There's one."

"That's my skull..." The bird muttered. "And why was there a pole in the middle of a mountainous region?"

.-.

Zarbon paced around the Bloody Pond in frustration, ever since Frieza had been sent into the mortal realm he had been put in charge of Hell's entertainment productions. Janemba has been put in charge of the poetry department, but his work was so awful that Yemma had formed him to be sealed away into the evil containment machine. Speaking of the poetry, Nappa and Raditz were forced to seal it away forever.

"Seriously, though." Raditz stared down at the paper. "How bad could it be?"

"Well I heard that Brolly read the first sentence and went ever more insane!" Nappa commented.

"That bad, huh?" Raditz smiled. "I'm going to go read it!"

"Fine, nice knowing you..."

"Oh please, it can't be that bad." Raditz scoffed. "He did transform half way through writing it, maybe this holds the key for me finally being able to turn Super Saiyan."

"Well it wouldshut up all those people who keep asking what your hair would be like."

"Indeed! So here goes nothing." Raditz said as he went to read the paper.

----

Janemba! Janemba!

Janemba! Janemba! Janemba! Janemba!

Jan-em-BA! Janemba! Janembababa!

Janem--HEHEHEHEHEHEHAAAHEHEHE

HE HAAAAHAHAHA! HEEHHEHEE!
KEKEKE!

----

"Oh god! My brain is bleeding!" Raditz clutched his head in pain. "Gwooooo!"

"'Gwoooo!' isn't a word used to describe pain." Nappa pointed out.

"Jan?" Raditz blurted out before covering his mouth.

"What did you just say?" Nappa looked at the other Saiyan oddly. "Raditz, are you okay?"

"Janemba!" Raditz said. "Janemba! Janemba!"

"Oh crap!" Nappa looked down at the paper. "This thing must be an evil curse to turn people into Janemba!"

"Jan! Janemba!" Raditz nodded before screaming and running away for no obvious reason.

.-.

Zarbon was still pacing around the pond when an idea suddenly struck him. No, wait, it was a Ki Blast. "Turles! Don't make me come over there!"

"Oh blow it out your arse!" Turles glared at Zarbon before running off. He never did like Zarbon for some reason, I'm sure it'll be some massively tragic back-story that I'll force you all to read later on... except this isn't an J-RPG, so never mind.

"Aha!" Zarbon yelled as an idea popped into his brain, wait my bad again, it was an alien that popped into his brain. "AHHHHH!"

.-.

Vegeta pounded his fist against his bedroom door, despite his Super Saiyan powers he was unable to break it down. It had been three days since he found out that he couldn't leave his room, not the mention the fact that he had been having nightmares about Kakarot melting through the walls of his bedroom, it all sounded like some kind of horrible fanfiction to him. Vegeta was just about to give up for the day when a loud crash occurred in the area of his bathroom.

"What the hell?" Vegeta commented, for some reason that was only thing he had been able to say for the past few days. The Saiyan walked into the bathroom and noticed a gaping hole in the wall, deciding that his chances on the other side of the hole were a lot better than being stuck in his shitty room, he crawled in...

.-.

Zarbon was lying on the ground with an alien baby half way out his ear when an idea finally came to him. "I've got it! I'll make a sitcom!"

.-.

"Cell!" Nappa barged into the disgustingly coloured palace. "Raditz has been taken over by Janemba's horrible poetry!"

"Show us this poetry!" Cell demanded as Nappa handed him the paper. "You know, Nappa. This looks photocopied, did you make this so Raditz would find it?"

"Why would I do that?" Nappa asked. "And as for the photocopy thing, Brolly was the only one who.."

Cell cut Nappa's sentence short as he ran outside and looked at the opened door leading out of hell. "Oh damn it, Brolly. Not again!"