No offense to anyone. Sorry about this . . .
(I know it's been done before, but hey. ^_^)

***

"Standard Tokyo time right now is 3:45 PM, June 3rd,
2027. This is your station HERZ at FM 56.8. Remember,
no matter what happens, Jesus always loves ya'."

~o/Hokkaido Evangelical Reform Zociety at FM 56.8/o~

"Now presenting, Two Minutes with Jacob's Ladder . . .
Here's the Reverend Ikari Shinji, from right here in
Sapporo!"

*sounds of clapping *

"Thank you, thank you. Good evening, folks. You know
who I am, and you know what I'm here for. In you didn't,
I'm Ikari Shinji, and I'm here to spread the word of God."

"Let's begin today from the very basics of our
relationship with the Lord. In Genesis we're told that
mankind is created in the image of God. Not a perfect
image, but a copy, and unlike God, we *are* fallible. We
are, simply put, *inferior* to God and His host of
Angels."

"That might sound awfully bad, but don't fret. You
always hafta remember, God loves each and every one of
us, even if we are inferior."

"While it's a horrible line of thought to think, I can see
where some of us might question God's love for us. After
all, everybody encounters the challenges He sends us
once in a while. Sometimes we're in pain, and sometimes
we wonder why God does these things."

"Mystery? I don't think so. God sends us these
challenges because He loves us, and He wants us to
grow. His challenges can be extremely hard and
depressing, but we can eventually prevail."

"Here's the thing some of you might be thinking, though:
What if we fail? What if we're forced to submit to the
challenges? Will we suffer if we do? What'll happen to
us?"

*pause*

"The answer is, folks, that God will love us, even if we
do run away. It's no shame to do so when God sends us
Angels to wrestle with. We can't beat them, and it's not a
good thing if we do, so why try? People might say this is
cowardly, but as Jesus said, we must love all men.
Running away is a good thing to do. I certainly did, back
in 2015."

*sound of chuckles*

"Say it with me once: Hallelu-ah to the Lord! Amen!"

*music starts up*

"That's all for today's Two Minutes with Jacob's Ladder.
Ikari Shinji, signing off. Seeya."

"Standard Tokyo time right now is 3:47 PM, June 3rd,
2027. This is your station HERZ at FM 56.8. Remember,
no matter what happens, Jesus always loves ya'."

~o/Hokkaido Evangelical Reform Zociety at FM 56.8/o~

"Next up: Jesus licks my Love Pump . . ."

***

Neon Genesis Televangelion
by SeventhOne
Not to be continued . . .