Disclaimer: I do not own Super GALS! and I'm just writing this out of pure boredom and futile self-entertainment. Did I mention that when it comes to brooding, I have a serious talent in that sort of activity/

Seriously, my month couldn't have been more erkish (it's a word I created because it seems to be erk-y or something…) as of this late. Which is the reason why this chapter is sort of delayed and all. You wouldn't feel it anyways, because by the time you're reading this, I'd have downloaded all and that means…ALL of the chapters. (But…knowing the person I am…it would have mean I hadn't downloaded all of it…which brings me back to square one…)

For starters, my Yuuya muse has been continuously fighting the evil forces of the Pokemon muses (No, I wasn't doing a Pokemon fanfiction…I was playing Pokemon Ruby on a GBA emulator ROM…). Then Yugi/Yami and Jouonichi had to come along, and THEN Tasuki and Nakago followed. Good gracious, my storyline was left shattered on the dark streets of my life.

And do I have to mention that school has taken toll on me as well? I started writing this fiction last summer, but that was just when I was totally free to watch Super GALS for so long as I like. But now, with classes up…I could just look out of my classroom window and despair what was happening in Shibuya already.

Then, I had to take the time to examine my life and found out that I desperately need to get someone to love me and to love back. Sadly, I think I left my emotions in my past life or in some alternate dimension.

Oh, my life couldn't just get any better…(drools with venom and sarcasm)

-

Chapter 18

"I…don't have anyone…"

Those words, horrible in their idea, ran endlessly inside Yuuya's mind. There was the indelible truth in it, but it wasn't ideal.

At least for him.

He suddenly saw himself, amidst a faceless crowd.

Only shadows, and evil grins.

His one light, Rei, was slowly walking away from him.

Not that he couldn't catch up towards him…

…but he chose not to.

Would he risk being blinded by the light he thought would guide him?

Would he want to see himself the way that light would show him?

A conflict of ideals waged war inside Yuuya Asou.

Here was a child that was still scared of people around him, not because of them but rather their capability.

To see, to feel, to love so intensely…and yet to hurt so badly…

He sheltered himself in his own cocoon of darkness that he weaved to protect against those emotions. Because he knew that his heart was weak and too vulnerable.

Too naive to accept love in its rawest form…and too delicate to realize pain and sorrow…

The darkness did well to care for his heart; it did not allow any of it to seep through. Love…sorrow…hatred…sadness…

It only used fear as a necessity, a blanket that gave vital protection to that ethereal cocoon. And it was fear that helped Yuuya manage against people that he thought would seek him out for their advantage.

And then…

There was this boy that had outgrown that cocoon and split it open, revealing a spirited youth, wishing to see and experience the world as the sun's light would show it.

For Rei was his light.

So eager to feel emotions deprived by separation from it. Like a child would feel when divested of his favorite treat for a long time.

…too reckless to understand the danger of being happy, the risk of falling in love, and of enjoying life it claims is good.

…too inexperienced to understand the pain brought by sadness, of tears, of death and immersion from sensations only felt for so long.

Only to realize and miss the motherly embrace the darkness had always given him.

When pain would finally replace smiles, and rejection would replace love, can only one only appreciate the need to be protected and the need to be taken away from the real world.

Hope usually calms the troubled soul, and asks it to offer life a second chance and a third…and a fourth…until it finds happiness once more.

Yuuya was not so, for his heart rejected hope even before it made its plea. He had risked enough to try emotions and to leave the sanctity his shell had given. And he had found his expectations cruelly smashed on the ground.

People with glass hearts cannot survive for so long in this world.

But people adapt, and a heart so cruelly beaten up and hurt grows stronger and tougher. It gives time to allow wounds to heal yet keeps its scars as a token of its injury.

Yuuya's heart was battle-scarred, and hurt so badly. It seeks its home once more, when there was a time emotions were still…trivial.

But a shattered cocoon would serve its inhabitant no more. No…not as a house, but a reminder of his foolishness of breaking out.

Only then would one realize that he is alone.

Alone…

One has to change, to grow strong; to eliminate weaknesses and gentility if one wishes to survive.

Even if it means sacrificing the person you were once.

The person other people you thought, had loved you.

Necessity of survival exceeds emotion above all.

Yuuya knew what he had to do that night.

-

Rei was still horror-struck (at least in his terms) over what happened. He never thought…never in his wildest dreams that…

Akai would have the nerve to do this.

He threw a very, very dirty stare at Akai, who seemed to have felt it, yet disregarded it solely. His attention was focused on the teacher, who seemed to be blabbing about something. A frown was set in his face, to which Rei could not account.

Rei placed his attention back on the boy at his side. Not that he couldn't help it, but there was one thing different.

Yuuya wasn't crying so bad.

No…there wasn't the look of acceptance or defeat.

Yuuya had a dark look within his features, his eyes hidden in the shades of his fringe. His lips were now tugged in a grimace of disgust over something.

And Yuuya looked up to the teacher.

Rei saw it. His eyes…

It spoke of hidden resolution, of something he was going to do.

-

All of a sudden, Rei thought Yuuya had matured more than he did.

Yuuya had lost his boyish charms, his bouncy attitude, his playful nature. Everything that Rei had found endearing and annoying.

When Yuuya was happy, he smiled so innocently, his eyes spoke of playful amusement.

When he was sad, he was desolate and only hinted of mild regret and remorse, yet the feeling almost passed away.

When he was angry, he would show his emotions all at once, releasing it and almost forgetting why.

He really was a baby, if Yuuya wasn't too keen on being called that.

But now, seeing Yuuya angry and disgusted over something, it was different.

He had self-control, the capacity to keep disdain within himself. Those eyes that did not know how to hurt were ready to assault anyone who dared look at him with impunity.

Like he was protecting his last piece of dignity.

-

Even when in the afternoon, after school, Yuuya chose to walk alone and by himself.

His attitude was starting to unnerve even Rei.

"Yuuya…I'm sorry I can't help you…comfort you…" Rei whispered, staring at the blonde's retreating figure.

A tear slid on his cheek.

-

Yuuya arrived home, in the silence of the afternoon. He slid noiselessly towards his room, his feet padding on the wooden floor.

Only when he arrived in his room and threw his bag at the side of his bed did he do the unthinkable…

"RAAARGH! AAAAAGH!" Yuuya shouted to no one at the top of his voice, his eyes flowing with tears held back. He tore his uniform off, throwing it at a corner, as he continued shouting in rage and grief.

"I…can't go on…being like this…" He spoke to himself, his gaze reflected on the mirror on his room. Standing up, he stalked towards the mirror and gazed at himself wretchedly.

Minutes passed as he continued staring at himself, the only development was a sneer forming on the lips of his reflection. How he was starting to hate himself…

"You're so weak, Yuuya…shame on you…" His reflection scoffed at him.

"I know…I can't help it…" Yuuya replied not too confidently.

"You're living life too miserably. Such a waste." It said as if taunting him.

Yuuya looked up, wanting to hear what it wanted to say.

"You're being hurt, by others and yourself. Would you allow that? Would you allow yourself to be the ending point for all the pain?" The reflection did not speak so harsh this time. There was seriousness in its tone.

Yuuya did not reply, but his gaze was set on him, as if he was holding all the answers to his problems.

The reflection snorted, before smiling as it sat down to level his gaze on Yuuya's own.

"Would you trust a product of your mind's overactive imagination?"

-

Rei arrived a bit earlier that evening, finding the house a bit quieter than its usual standards.

There was no Yuuya bounding towards him if he bought home the evening groceries…or the usual hug-from-the-back that came from the sunshine blonde.

It was just…quiet.

He knew that Yuuya would be up in his room…brooding. But somehow, instead of usually prodding the boy to haul his arse up and get on with life as usual, Rei found it hard to do so.

He felt the boy needed the time to be alone.

So, for the whole night of being alone in the kitchen (he was starting to wonder when his parents would actually arrive…), he was starting to miss that one little help…that one little annoyance…that one little distraction that made his evenings a bit more…exciting.

Rei ate his food alone, setting a bowl of rice for the boy in case he came down (Rei hoped he would be…). The rice seemed a bit too grainy, the soup a bit cold, and his tea a bit scalding than usual…

The little annoyances of life seemed more evident without Yuuya's company.

Rei was starting to miss Yuuya's presence a lot.

At least now he knew what "being near yet so far" felt this time.

So near…and yet…faraway…

-

Igsk! Next upload in a few days. If my muse ever gets to eat a review. Ja ne…