Lonely Smile, Cherry Kisses

Chapter 2

When the door closed behind her, Hatsumi felt her legs shaking beneath her, and she collapsed against the door, leaning with her head tilted back against its cool surface. Had that really just happened? It took a moment to fully comprehend the idea of Azusa walking with her, speaking with her so casually.

Don't be stupid, Hatsumi, she thought to herself. He hadn't had anything better to do. After all, it wasn't like he actually cared about her. He never had. It had been made perfectly clear after that time...

She told herself to admit that Azusa hated her. Hated with all his heart. But a sliver of hope crept into her mind. Azusa told her that her father wasn't his prime target any longer, and even during class, when he had text messaged her cell phone...

He said that maybe he wouldn't have to hate her...

Maybe there was still hope for their friendship after all. Not to mention the fact that he'd invited her out for lunch. But with Azusa, there was no way of guessing his true intentions. Hatsumi was certain that it was just a casual lunch this time, but still...

Hatsumi sighed softly, turning around. Hidden under the soft cover of shadows, she peeked out of the door, wondering whether Azusa had left already. Pulling the cap down firmly, she looked around to make sure that no one was watching her, and glanced quickly towards the spot where Azusa had been when he dropped her off.

And to her incredulous shock, it was the spot where Azusa still was.

"What...is he still doing outside?" Hatsumi whispered out loud.

His expression, as always, was of a cool demeanor, though it seemed more cold than casual. His lips, which were once curved into a heartbreaking smile, had no trace of joy upon them at all. Instead, they were straightened, as was the norm now. He rarely ever smiled. Or maybe it was just around her...

The model paused in his train of thought, and suddenly glanced right at her. Her heart stopped for a brief flicker of time. Could he see her? Oh no, he was staring right at her! Hatsumi held her breath as Azusa glanced through the glass door, but let out a sigh of immense relief after he turned his gaze away. He was probably checking to see if she had made it home safely...

But Hatsumi had seen his lips move briefly, as if he were whispering something to himself as he had glanced through the door. Now, Azusa had taken something out of his pocket, cradling it gently in his palm. His expression softened. Hatsumi tried to move closer, but it was to no avail. She couldn't see what it was that he was holding. Was it some sort of toy?

He was looking up at the night sky, and for a brief moment, the world seemed to stop as the twinkling of stars sparkled across his face.

His expression...

For the first time that evening, Hatsumi could read his expression, just like back when they had been close. So close...

He looked...

Peaceful.

She'd never seen Azusa look like this before, at least not since he'd been back. There was only one way to describe his unguarded expression, and it was beautiful. That child-like innocence that she knew was hidden deep inside his heart had been released for a momentary lapse of time. Her fingers touched the glass, and she felt her heart breaking at his serenity. But the moment had long faded by then, and reality came crashing back down on her in a whirlwind of disappointment.

Hatsumi's fingers tightened around Azusa's handkerchief as he turned, glancing in her direction one last time before slipping into the dark street. She said nothing else as she trudged her way up the flight of stairs and snuck quietly into her family's apartment. Her parents' door was shut. Good. Hatsumi sighed, grateful that she hadn't been caught. Her mother had been on her case enough already.

However, as soon as her feet touched the sacred floor in her room, the door closed behind her and a small beam of light flared in front of her face. "Huh? What-?"

"Hatsumi! I knew you were sneaking out!" The glare of light moved a bit, and the flashlight's holder was revealed. It was Akane, who was smiling deviously.

Hatsumi was startled. "Akane? What are you doing up so late? You scared me!"

But Akane ignored the question, moving closer to Hatsumi for an inspection. She was amused at Hatsumi's antics, no doubt, but she plastered a false, disapproving expression onto her face. Hatsumi groaned. Not again. Akane had the habit of doing this whole routine every time she had snuck out. Which wasn't that often. This was going to take forever to straighten out...

"So, where were you? Spill it, Hatsumi!" Akane gushed excitedly.

"I...I was..." Hatsumi began, only to be interrupted.

"I'm so proud to have rubbed off on you! You snuck out to see Ryoki, didn't you?" her younger sister clasped her hands together in giddy approval. "How romantic! I wish Subaru would do something like that..."

Hatsumi glanced around. "Shh! Akane! You'll wake Okaa-san and Otou-san!"

Ceasing the dark muttering of "That boy, honestly...", Akane rolled her eyes. "You're just avoiding the question. And besides, it's obvious that you went to see Ryo- huh?"

While she had been questioning Hatsumi, she had been playing around with the flashlight, its beams flickering crazily across the walls and ceiling of their room. However, she shone the flashlight onto Hatsumi's head, her eyes widening at the sight of the foreign hat on top.

"That's not yours, is it?" Akane blinked. "I know I've seen that cap before..."

Hatsumi grew warm under Akane's curious eyes and the glare of the flashlight.

"...Wait a minute! I know where I've seen that! It's Azusa's, isn't it?" Akane suddenly shouted.

"Shh! They'll hear you!" Hatsumi dove for Akane's mouth, covering it with their hand. For a few moments, they remained perfectly still, waiting to see if the noise had awoken anyone in the house. Hikaru, who was sleeping peacefully next door, didn't seem to hear it, and with the silence from their parents' room, neither had they.

Akane's expression had changed from merriment to confusion. "Hatsumi, you were...sneaking out to see..." she was clearly at a loss for words, "...Azusa?" Hatsumi was slightly stung by Akane's shocked voice and expression.

She sighed, figuring that she owed it to her younger sister to explain. "I wasn't sneaking out to see him. I couldn't sleep...so I went for a walk and happened to bump into him. That's all..."

Akane crossed her arms, her smile tainted with a dash of evilness. "You left the house at eleven fifty. And now it's twelve thirty. You really mean to tell me that you happened to 'bump' into Azusa for forty minutes?" Her eyes widened suddenly, and Hatsumi didn't like the look behind them. "...But I thought you were with Ryoki now? You don't still like Azusa, do you? You guys broke up. Wow, Hatsumi! It's a love triangle!"

Hatsumi sighed again. Leave it to Akane the drama queen to jump to conclusions. "Akane, it's not like that. Really. I was just talking to Azusa for a little bit, and then I walked home. This has nothing to do with Ryoki..."

Akane paused, thinking carefully. "I guess you're right. Maybe I was being too hasty..." She grinned suddenly. "But wait...did Azusa walk you home, Hatsumi?"

"...No! Of course not! What makes you think that?" Hatsumi gushed, flustered by her sister's intelligence.

"Oh, nothing. I was just curious, that's all. Because if he did, that means he still likes you!" Akane smiled.

Hatsumi coughed suddenly. What? Was Akane serious? Of...of course she wasn't! She was just teasing her again. And besides, what her little sister didn't realize was that Azusa had never liked her in the first place. He had just been using her to get back at Otou-san. She clenched the handkerchief tightly, feeling the soft cloth beneath her fingers and remembering his scent, his presence. All she wanted was to regain the friendship that had faded so long ago.

She had written to him so many times. And for a long time, he had written back. But one day, the letters stopped coming. The post office had notified her of his change of address, though they hadn't bothered to tell her where he was. Too young to understand anything, it faded within her mind. She thought about him everyday for years, trying to keep the happier memories alive in her heart. But after a few years, the pain was too great, and she felt often like half of her soul had been missing. But Hatsumi moved on. For the sake of her broken heart, and for her sanity, she had to.

Besides, after Azusa had stopped writing, she grew an even closer bond to Shinogu, who had sensed her heavy hurt. He played with her everyday after school in Azusa's place. And it had been more than enough.

While she had been preoccupied with her thoughts, Akane had sleepily slipped into her bed and was now snuggled under the covers. How cute. Hatsumi grinned. It must have been exhausting for Akane to interrogate her like that. Hatsumi welcomed time away from her mind to shuffle into her own bed, worn out connecting thoughts of the past to the confusing present day.

"Well, good night, Hatsumi..." Akane mumbled beneath her covers.

"Good night," Hatsumi replied softly.

He said that he'd always wait for her...

That they'd always be friends...

Hatsumi snuggled deeper underneath the heat of the blankets, falling into a deep slumber with one last thought on her mind.

Sometimes it was better to just not think of the past...

---

It was morning, and Hatsumi yawned, having been awoken by the sound of the doorbell going off. She sighed, rubbing her eyes as she changed into a shirt and jeans. From somewhere to her left, Akane groaned and buried herself deeper under the covers. "Ha...tsumi…get the door, will you?"

Hatsumi ran her fingers through her hair quickly, making sure that it was presentable in case it was Mrs. Tachibana on a surprise visit, then rushed towards the door, opening it to stick her head out. It was Subaru. He looked slightly relieved that it had been her to open the door. Hatsumi smiled at the adorably shy otaku.

"Ohayou, Hatsumi!" Subaru smiled nervously. "I was wondering...is Akane up yet?" He blushed furiously. "I thought that maybe we could get some breakfast together or something..."

Hatsumi smiled. "Come on in, Subaru. I'll go wake Akane up." The spiky haired teenager nodded and stepped inside, seating himself on a chair.

"Akane, wake up!" Hatsumi shook her sister gently. Akane made an irritated noise and mumbled what sounded like, "Go away." Hatsumi shook her head and pulled the covers off of her stubbornly sleepy sister, ignoring the squeal of protest at it. Akane's hair covered her face, and her clothes were all wrinkled.

"Akane, Subaru's here," Hatsumi said, nudging her gently.

It was like an alarm went off. "Subaru's here?"

"Hai. He wants to get some breakfast with you."

Akane immediately bolted upright, jumping off the bed and rushing into the closet. In between flinging clothes all around the room searching for a suitable outfit to wear, she began to vent her frustrated surprise at Hatsumi. "Hatsumi, why didn't you tell me sooner? Now I have nothing to wear!"

Hatsumi smiled, despite all the commotion Akane was making. It was nice to see that her sister had finally fallen for someone in an authentic way. Hatsumi had disliked all of Akane's previous boyfriends, for they had been nothing but previous flings that Akane dumped after a week or so. Shinogu had hated all of them too. But things were different with Subaru. He was shy, kind, thoughtful- nothing like the guys that Akane had been accustomed too. But perhaps change was for the best.

"Okay! How do I look?" Akane asked, out of breath from the mad clothing search. She, of course, looked perfect in an ivory sweater that was fuzzy and warm. And the outfit had been topped off with a cute black skirt and boots that matched the shade of black that outfitted her skirt. She was clutching a scarf in between her fingers, in a rush to get outside and greet Subaru. But Hatsumi knew that she'd put it on later.

Akane tried to fix her hair, which really didn't require as much attention as she thought it did.

Hatsumi laughed. "You look great. Now hurry up, before he leaves!"

"Okay! You're the best, Hatsumi!" Akane shouted as she left the room.

"Ittekimasu!" Subaru and Akane echoed their goodbyes as they departed from the room.

"Iterashai!" Hatsumi called back. She smiled as Akane suddenly grabbed Subaru's hand as they closed the door shut. Hmm? Something caught her eye, and she shook her head as she recognized it. Akane had left her scarf draped upon the table. That girl was so forgetful sometimes, she thought to herself as she folded it neatly. And this hadn't been the first time that she had done this. Akane always came back five minutes later to retrieve the forgotten item. So Hatsumi kept it on the table waiting for her as she cleaned the living room a bit.

Azusa's cap...

She had left it on the table before heading off to bed the night before. Hatsumi stared at it for a little while, wondering what had possessed him to give it to her like that. "I'd better give it back to him the next time he comes," Hatsumi muttered aloud. As for his handkerchief, she'd already washed it for him. It was tucked away into her room.

The doorbell rang again, and Hatsumi sighed. It was about time. "I'm coming!"

As she opened the door, Hatsumi grabbed Akane's scarf off the table. "You forgot your scarf again, Akane. I can't beli-"

She stopped speaking immediately as the door opened all the way.

Instead of Akane, Azusa stood before her, wearing a shirt and jeans. This time, he was wearing a jacket, but he had left it unzipped, and Hatsumi could see the black dragon imprinted onto the white shirt he had on. That time he had come close to running away...

Hadn't he been wearing the same shirt?

He suddenly ran his fingers through his hair, and Hatsumi realized that he had brought her coat back. But...what was Azusa doing here so early? It wasn't even ten a.m. yet! She stole a glance at her parents' room. Luckily, they were still fast asleep. She was pretty sure she could hear her father snoring in the background. If her parents saw her with him...

"I came for our little date."

Hatsumi blushed. "...Um..." Date? He was just teasing her, Hatsumi thought, forcing herself to keep that in mind. She had to remember that he had played with her emotions once before. And besides, she had Ryoki...well, sort of, anyway…

Oh no! Ryoki! He would kill her if he found out that they were eating together! How could she forget about Ryoki? Her face fell and paled. Oh no, oh no, oh no! She was so dead!

The model paused for a moment, lifting a brow. "Did I come at a bad time?" Azusa asked.

"N...no! It's just, I thought you were Akane!" Hatsumi said, surprised that he could read her so easily. After all, it was just her eating with a...person that she knew. Hatsumi wasn't sure if she could call Azusa a "friend". Not after...

Well, anyways, maybe Ryoki wouldn't mind...

Yeah. And maybe pigs could fly...

Azusa blinked. "Akane? I've had a lot of people compare me to different models, but I've never heard that one."

At his teasing comment, Hatsumi tried to get herself to calm down a little. But she couldn't help it. He had really startled her, just showing up like that.

"No, what I meant was...Akane just forgot her scarf here. And I wasn't expecting you so early, so when you came, I thought..." she tried to explain.

"...That I was your kid sister," Azusa finished for her, smirking a bit. "Nice."

"But...what are you doing here so early?" Hatsumi asked.

"I couldn't stay away from you." His voice was husky and deep, and as he spoke, he gazed deep into her eyes. Hatsumi swallowed nervously, feeling her cheeks burn with embarrassment. Why say that? Why did he always have to tease her like that?

After a few moments, Azusa smiled at her unease. "Kidding. I was bored, so I came over to see if you wanted to grab a bite to eat." His eyes swept over the scarf clutched in her hands. "...But if you're busy..."

"No, it's okay! I'll...just go get changed," Hatsumi stammered, disoriented by the comment that had caught her off guard. Before she could duck into her room, Azusa grabbed her by the wrist.

His eyes flickered softly as he gazed at her intensely. "You look fine. I promise. Let's go."

His grip tightened on her, and she felt a familiar discomfort at the touch. It was twice now, that he had done this. His touch brought back many memories, a lingering kiss of childhood laced with dark pain. She felt herself shying away from him, looking for an excuse to escape the overbearingly painful sensation of being that close to him. It made no sense to her at all, this odd feeling of discomfort. After all, she had hugged him last night, hadn't she?

She wondered why she had done it. Hatsumi hadn't meant for it to happen, truthfully. It had been a sort of impulse, for him leaving her father alone for the time being. And hadn't she been the one clinging to his arm? Hatsumi groaned mentally. What had she been thinking? After she had done all that, he hadn't said a single word about it. And now here she was, feeling the need to escape his touch. It made no sense at all...

But she was still searching for an excuse to make him let go of her.

The handkerchief!

At trying to move towards her room, Azusa refused to let up on his hold, keeping her a captive. Blushing even worse than before, Hatsumi paused. "...I...need to get something from my room first..." She broke away from him in a hasty move towards her room, feeling his curiously amused gaze on her back. His handkerchief was lying atop her dresser. Hatsumi grabbed it, and as she headed back outside, she picked up his hat.

"Here, Azusa. This is for you." Hatsumi handed them out for him to take, but he didn't move.

"I told you, those are yours." Azusa held out her coat. "I brought this back for you. Kept it all clean, too." He draped it around her shoulders. "It's cold outside, so you'd better wear it."

Hatsumi was startled at the swift way he could change the subject. He knew how to avoid things so easily, she thought silently. But it didn't matter, Hatsumi protested against keeping his cap and handkerchief. "But...Azusa, these are yours! This...this cloth is very expensive!"

But he wouldn't hear of it. He brought his hand up. "I've got lots of them lying around in my apartment. I don't need anymore of them. Just take it. It's not a big deal. And as for the cap," he said, taking it and plopping it onto her head, "It looks cute on you. So keep it."

"But..."

"You'll break my heart if you don't." Azusa was giving her that teasing smile, but his eyes seemed cold again. Sighing, Hatsumi finally gave in to defeat. It seemed wrong somehow, but she didn't want to make too much of a big deal out of nothing. It was almost like they were friends again...

"Let's go eat now. I'm starving," Azusa remarked.

She nodded. "Okay."

---

It had been five minutes since Hatsumi had closed the door behind them with a gentle pull of her hand. She had been trailing after Azusa shyly, not knowing what to say. Yet, without warning, Azusa turned back to face her, looking curious. Hatsumi, who had her head bowed slightly, stopped quickly, nearly bumping into him.

"What are you doing all the way back there?" Azusa asked, looking a tad amused.

"...Huh? Well...I..." Hatsumi stuttered. What did he mean by that question? It was just a habit of hers. Well, at least, that was the way that she walked with Ryoki. She'd never really paid attention to it before. "It...it's just the way I walk..."

Azusa crossed his arms. "Because of Tachibana."

"No, that's...not why!" Hatsumi retorted, feeling embarrassed. It was because she was feeling too nervous, wasn't it? She couldn't look Azusa in the eye, let alone walk next to him! The silence would be too awkward. It wasn't because of Ryoki at all...

"Hey." And suddenly Hatsumi felt Azusa tilting her chin with his fingers, staring her straight in the eye. "Look at me."

He looked dead serious as he stared her down. Hatsumi felt her cheeks growing warm underneath the force of his gaze. Azusa had been completely serious ever since he had arrived, but she had never seen him look like this. It frightened her a little.

Warmth seeped from Azusa's fingers as he subconsciously placed his left hand on her shoulder, closing the gap between them. "Hatsumi. I never want you to walk behind me. That shows submission. You're not a dog. You have as much power as I do, maybe even more."

Then his expression softened a bit. "I don't want you to follow me. I want you to be with me at my side. We'll walk together." There it was again, the deepening nature of his voice as he spoke those words. Hatsumi blushed even more. Why was it that Azusa always said things like this around her? He knew how twist words around so that they made her uneasy.

He continued, looking very solemn indeed about the matter at hand. "Got that, Hatsumi? I want you to walk with confidence. Give all the other girls another reason to envy you. And not just with me. Walk like that with Tachibana, too. I never want to see you trailing after him like you normally do. If he's got a problem with it, he'll have to deal with me." Azusa finished speaking, abruptly ending with the faintest flicker of a smile.

"...Okay..." Hatsumi managed to say faintly.

Yet, while he had removed his fingers from her face, his hand was still on her shoulder. And he was still gazing deeply at her. Hatsumi flushed a little, nodding softly. Azusa finally released her, taking a couple of steps forward, his head turned to face her as he waited patiently.

Taking a deep breath, Hatsumi moved towards him. And counting the footsteps silently in her mind, she finally reached his side. It felt strange, but overwhelming nice at the same time. Azusa peered down at her, though a great deal taller than she was, and met her eyes.

"Come on, then." He grabbed her hand suddenly, and Hatsumi felt a smile slip onto her face. It was like they were children all over again, having a friendly race. But there seemed to be more at stake this time, and with a determined expression, Hatsumi struggled to keep up with Azusa. Together, they moved quickly down the hallway, reaching the elevator in a matter of seconds. All the while, with trying to catch up to Azusa without making too much noise in the halls, Hatsumi hadn't been able to lead, but at least she managed to stay next to him all the while.

As they waited for the elevator, Hatsumi stole a glance at Azusa as she caught her breath. He looked like he was thinking about something...

Her cheeks brightened as she realized that he was still holding her hand. Hatsumi hadn't been comfortable with him touching her wrist, but this was even worse! She thought it had been rather clear the last time Azusa had done it. Holding hands was something special, a sacred motion to be cherished. Yet, his touch felt so cold, and Hatsumi was saddened by the thought of Azusa's loneliness. But she couldn't let him hold her hand like this...

It hurt...

Gently, she pulled his hand away, and at the movement, Azusa snapped out of his thoughts, flickering his gaze onto her. Hatsumi, abashed, tried not to pay attention to the intensity of his stare, racking her brain for something to say.

Ding! It was hard for Hatsumi not to let out a huge sigh of relief. The elevator opened, and she practically dove into it. Azusa followed her to the elevator doors and suddenly paused before entering. He gazed at her thoughtfully. Hatsumi, puzzled, kept her finger on the "Door Open" button for him.

Azusa was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "You can keep up with me, after all."

Then, without a further word, he swept into the elevator in a single, fluid motion. It was a small, cramped elevator that didn't allow much of a crowd. Azusa stood at the other end of the elevator, allowing Hatsumi a little bit of room to breathe. Hatsumi stared at him quietly as he shut his eyes and tilted his head back against the wall. She smiled.

And as the elevator doors closed before them, Hatsumi couldn't help but think that maybe her childhood friend wasn't so far away after all...

---

(A.N. I hope that you guys have enjoyed the second chapter! I just realized that the asterik symbol I used to divide the first chapter up into 3 sections will not show up in the chapter. Does not let you use that symbol? Sorry if you guys got confused...it's supposed to be divided up according to the start of major scenes. But anyways, I just wanted to take this time to tell you that the next update will probably be in two weeks, as I am leaving soon for vacation. I promise an update when I get back, as soon as possible. The next chapter is close to being finished, so if I can finish it by tomorrow, I will update. If you enjoy my story, please review, because I love to hear from the readers. Plus, there aren't that many readers/stories in this section, and it'd be much appreciated to know that despite the limited amount of people who read the HG fics, I still have someone who likes mine, even if just a little. My deepest gratitude and love goes out to all who reviewed the last chapter. Thanks for your time! Feel free to e-mail me with comments/questions! Much love!)