I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! And I am awear that there is another story that uses the same basic idea, and that's okay, as long as they don't fully take my ideas, but I wish they would change the title… Anyway this one took a long time, didn't it? Oh well, enjoy!

"Know your stars…" A voice said, "Know yours stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"Huh?" Yugi looked around, "Who said that? Do you want to duel?"

"Yugi Mutou," It came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, "His hair is responsible for 97 of Ozone layer pollution. While Marik and Malik are only responsible for 2."

"Yugi needs more hairspray!" Someone yelled from backstage, a can flies and hits Yugi directly in the head. He gets knocked off the chair and falls to the ground. When he gets up he has two black eyes, but his hair is perfectly untouched.

"Ouch…" He said as he got back up in the chair.

"Do you know how much damage that can did to the environment?"

"Not as much as it did to him!" Malik laughed from backstage.

"Getting back on subject… Yugi Mutou," The voice sounded amused, "He thinks the Millennium Puzzle makes Yami look sexy."

"What!" Yugi asked, "Why would you even say that? That is a horrible lie!" Yami backs up and places his hand on the emergency exit door. "Yami!" Yugi called, "You have to believe me, it's a lie!"

"Save it for the judge." The voice said, "Yugi Mutou, he locked himself in his room for three weeks because he lost a game of 'Go Fish.'"

"I never lose a game!" Yugi shouted, "And even if I had, I wouldn't lock myself in my room for three weeks! I would have died of dehydration in two weeks!"

"Not if you ate your grandpa."

"What possible reason would I have for cannibalism!" Yugi asked wildly, 'I would never eat my grandpa, even if I was starving!"

"…Right." The voice agreed, "Just stay far away from my house you little tie-dyed flesh eating munchkin."

"I can't help it if my hair is three colors!" Yugi protested.

"Yugi Mutou," The voice responded, "He was kissing Mai backstage."

"Yugi?" Joey struggled against Tristin and Ryou to rush the stage, "I'll kill you! You pretended to be my friend! I'll kill you!"

"No I wasn't Joey I swear! Who is telling these horrible lies?" Yugi screamed, nobody had seen Yugi flip out before, "Who? I demand a name! Who is the voice?"

"I just read the cards dude."

"Then who is responsible for these lies?" Yugi screamed, "Who?" Before anyone could answer, Joey bit Tristin and he let go of him. Joey rushed the stage and both him and Yugi flew into the audience.

"Just like a mutt…" Seto mumbled.

"Now you know Yugi Mutou…"

"No they don't!" Yugi called from the stretcher, "They don't know anything about me!"

"Yes they know everything…" Bakura turned his head all the way around.

"Hey Seto…" Evil Yami gave him puppy dog eyes, "Would you like to star?"

"No."

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because your show lies." He responded coldly. Her eyes turned deep red.

"Fear the truth!" She shouted, five body builders grabbed Seto, one held a cloth to his mouth and he passed out. "Welcome to the show."

Now you know Yugi. Can you even blindly guess who we put on next? Yeah… well anyway, look for the next one soon.