A/N: Read lookup before reviewing! Thanks! Also, this isn't suppose to be offensive to anyone, and I hope it's not. This is just a joke between me and one of my friends. - EJ
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"I love you!" Said Remus, kissing his puppet self. He then detached himself from the puppet, and said in a high, puppet voice, "I love you too my little Remmykins!"
Sirius had stared for a long time the first time he caught Remus dating well...himself. Sirius had - at first - asked Remus if he was drunk, or if he was on drugs. Remus merely chuckled that time, and replied 'of course not!'. But now, Sirius simply played along. It was hard to talk to someone who had a romance with a puppet version of their self, but he had to deal with it. He didn't want to break Remus's heart, telling him that his puppet didn't really love him. This had to stop one day...right? 'It's just a phase,' Sirius thought. 'Remain cool.'
But since this started, all the other Order Of The Phoenix members besides Sirius had avoided Remus, and his social life was becoming more and more...different. People seemed to scream and run away from him when they saw him snogging a puppet on the sidewalk, and life just wasn't the same. Sirius had finally decided what he was going to do to put this to an end.
"Remus, I have some bad news for you," Sirius said, choking back tears.
"...What?" Remus asked, looking scared of what Sirius may say. He snuggled his puppet to make him feel better.
"I think...that Lupin may be cheating on you." Sirius pointed to the puppet, still trying to make this as dramatic as possible, even though he was faking it. "With Granger." Sirius pulled out a horribly made Hermione puppet, slipping it on his hand.
He cleared his throat. This was extremely hard, but he would be able to do it.
"I love you Lupin!" Sirius said in a very high puppet voice, ramming the puppet's face into the other's, to make it look as if they were kissing.
Remus began to cry. Sirius was still choking back fake tears, as he frowned. This was very wrong, but it felt so right. Plus it was amusing to see Remus cry over a well...puppet.
"I'm sorry I have to tell you this," Sirius said, in a fake, low depressed voice.
"It's alright." Remus said, choking back his real tears.
Sirius frowned, and put the Hermione puppet in Remus's lap.
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After that, everything was pretty normal. Sirius - of course - now had nightmares about puppets snogging, puppets attacking him with brute force, and other such things. But Remus was back to his normal self, not being insane and odd, and he was no longer dating a puppet. After that the puppet was of no use, so he gave it to a pair of rabid fangirls, who attacked it and teared it up within an hour. Sirius burned the Hermione puppet. He had it by his bed at first, but then it kept...well...to put it plainly, freaking him out. But, yes, everything was back to normal, besides the fact that Sirius now got bad images whenever he saw a puppet.