Limericks for the Fellowship
by Llinos

Frodo Baggins
Said Frodo "that little sod Sméagol
Nicked my Ring, which I'm sure is illegal,
But a hobbit who lingers
Might run out of fingers
So I'm catching the very next eagle."

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Samwise Gamgee
Samwise said, "Well you see,
If vacations were left up to me
You shouldn't be countin'
On climbing a mountain,
I'll get hot and you know I can't ski."

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Meriadoc Brandybuck
"Just follow me," shouted Merry
"I'll show you the way to the ferry,
If it's too far to walk
Hitch a ride on an orc,
It's cheap – though the service does vary."

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Peregrin Took
Pippin said, "it's not really devotion,
I just took this job on a notion!
Now I'm stood all day long
To just sing the odd song,
For crap pay with no chance of promotion."

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Gandalf the Grey
Gandalf said, "I'm not really surprised,
Saruman's just one of those guys,
Who acts really cool,
Like he knows it all,
But it's really a big pack of lies!"

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Aragorn son of Arathorn
Aragorn said, "There'll be trouble
If Arwen bursts Éowyn's bubble
But perhaps they'll behave
If I don't have a shave,
Birds all like a bloke with some stubble!

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Boromir of Gondor
Boromir said, "here's the thing,
It's not that I want to be King
But it would be a pity
To lose the White City
So just give us a loan of your Ring."

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Prince Legolas of Mirkwood
Said Legolas, "to stay in good health
You have to look after yourself,
But if you're relying
On being undying,
You won't make it, unless you're an elf."

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Gimli son of Gloin
Gimli said, "I'm not one to moan,
Though my cousin went off on his own
To live in a mine,
which is all well and fine,
But he could at least pick up the phone!"

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Author's Notes
If you found these perverse,
Or need a character summed up in verse,
Then leave your request
And I'll give it my best,
After all, it can only get worse!

Llinos