Several hundred years ago (or thereabouts) I started making limericks for Lord of the Rings Characters.

I also invited requests.
Some of these requests were not fulfilled.
Some of these requests were made elsewhere
Some of these requests I've totally forgotten by whom they were made
Some of these requests I may have forgotten altogether!

Anyway – here is my (possibly) final payment.

RETURN OF THE LIMERICKS – THE FINAL VOLUME
(unless you really want more)

No one asked for Gandalf, but I did him again anyway.

Gandalf the Grey
Gandalf said "I've a notion
That the Balrog will cause a commotion
But if I win the fight
I can move up to White
Which is a not such a bad staff promotion!"

No idea who asked for this, but someone must have!
Haleth son of Háma
Saying, "Haleth son of Háma"
Could give you a very bad stammer
But take a quick look
He's not in the book
So sod the diacritics and grammar!

For Lucy Kay
King Théoden
King Théoden said, "There's some tattle
There's a bloody big war coming that'll
Show off my facelift,
But what's got me miffed,
Is I'll just end up dying in battle!

Also for Lucy Kay
The Oliphaunt
I'm an Oliphaunt that simply intones
A grandeur that no one else owns,
Until that elven punk,
Slid down my trunk,
Just like we were in the Flintstones!

For DarkMagicWhiteLight
Bilbo Baggins – the hero of The Hobbit
Bilbo said, "Though I don't need to work
That job at least had one perk,
I don't mean the gold
Or not growing old
But showing Gandalf I'm not such a berk!"

For Good Queen Vold
Imrahil, Prince of Ithilien
I'm Imrahil, Prince of Ithilien!
Surely, a Prince in a million!
I do quite a lot
To just further the plot,
Although I never had a hobbit ride pillion!

For Inkling3
The Troll's Purse in The Hobbit
I s'pose fings could've bin worse
Than bein' a bloody Troll's purse,
Although all that I do,
Is squeak, "Ere, 'oo are you?"
But at least I got my own verse!

Also For Inkling3
(who asked for Shelob and Pippin's troll together – sorry but it stretched itself into two stanza)
The Four Hobbits
When the hobbits took a quick poll
Of who had done best in their role,
Frodo carried the Ring,
Merry stabbed the WitchKing,
But Pippin got squashed by a troll!

Sam did quite well on the whole
Helping Frodo accomplish his goal,
He did a good job
Fighting Shelob,
But, Pippin got squashed by a TROLL!

For Grey Wonderer
The Fox
A passing fox had definite views
About who should be taking a snooze,
"Why are three hobbits there?
Out in the fresh air,
This will make item one on Fox News!"

Notes:

I think that's the lot – unless you know better! Thank you if you reviewed, and if you didn't, thank you for reading and I hope you laughed at some of these.

In the meantime, I'm pleased to announce that I've actually finished Recaptured and it is now being posted. There are just two chapters to go and a very long epilogue!

Good Queen Vold – I'm not actually Welsh, although I did attempt to learn Welsh when I lived there. Rwyf yn dysgwr (I use this as an OC name in Recaptured BTW). So perhaps I lack the Bardic skill of the esteemed Principality!

I'm sorry you think I can't scan,
I've only done the Wlpan,
So I can't be precise
Dydw i ddim yn Cymraes
But I'm doing the best that I can

Actually, some of the limericks don't scan to perfection, but that is because I write them quickly and they're just meant to be funny. Also it sometimes depends how you stress the first syllable in each line. Glad you liked them anyway!

Heddwch!

Llinos