DISCLAIMER not mine boo hoo!

Tag to defiant one

Sheppard looked up at the sky and shielded his eyes as the second puddle jumper came into view.

"How's that Shield coming along?" he asked Mckay.

"It would be coming along a lot quicker if you didn't keep asking me that every, oh I don't know, three seconds. It will be finished when it's finished," he snapped.

"Who's the one snapping now?" said Sheppard walking over to a rock and lowering himself to sit on it. His side was badly bruised and his cracked ribs protested as he moved to look at his arm. The bullet had gone clean through, and had avoided bone, but it was bleeding profusely and blood had run down the length of his arm and was dripping off his fingers. He probed his mouth with his tongue and could taste metal. He had bit his lip on that last flight down to earth.

"Are you okay?" asked Mckay, a lot quieter than the tirade before.

"I'm fine Mckay. Nothing that hasn't happened to me before," he said grimacing.

Puddle jumper two landed and swirled up a sandstorm as it finally came to rest. Sheppard spat out sand as Ford and Teyla approached him, both harbouring concerned looks.

"I'm fine," he said standing up and answering them before that had a chance to ask.

"You sure?" asked Ford scanning the area with a methodical eye.

"It's gone Ford," he said pulling his 9 mil from his right leg holster and grabbing some ammo from Ford. "But just in case," he said loading it and slipping it back in his holster. "We're having some troubles with our shield, McKay's working on it."

"Shield sir?"

"The wraith managed to bring it up. Damn near broke my nose running into it," he said laughing faintly.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence whilst Teyla and Ford shared a concerned look. Sheppard interrupted their private conversation and took a step forward, "Right Teyla, you stay here with Mckay, help him with anything he needs. Ford, you're with me." He said starting to set off towards the sand dunes.

"Sir, where are we going?" asked Ford trailing besides him.

"Yeah, where are you going?" asked Mckay storming over to them with his scanner in hand and a bunch of wires in another.

"I'm going back to bury Gaul and Abrams." He said stopping and not turning around.

"Major, don't you think you should stay here. What if there are more wraiths? You're injured, you shouldn't aggravate your-"

"If you're injured?" questioned Teyla.

"I'm fine okay, i'm not going to drop de-"he stopped himself and mentally kicked himself. "Gaul and Abrams deserve to be buried." He said beginning to walk again.

"Major!" shouted Mckay.

It wasn't the first time Sheppard was going to walk off and leave him.

Sheppard stopped and turned on his heel, "Mckay, for the second time today. I do not have time to argue with you. Fix the damn shield. We'll be back inside an hour. Keep your radio comms open," and he began to walk off. He held his side as the burning subsided. "Ford!" he shouted, "You coming?" and Ford ran to catch up with him.

-------------------------

As Sheppard and Ford approached the Hive ship, Ford came to a stand still.

"Sir, permission to speak freely?"

"What is it Lt?" asked Sheppard wearily.

"If you don't mind me asking, what the hell was that all about?"

Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck with his good hand and sighed, "Ford, we really don't have time for this. I want to get in and out of that ship as quickly as possible and –"

"Im talking about the way you spoke to Mckay." He stated readjusting his P90.

"Im not angry with Mckay," said Sheppard, beginning to descend the sand dune to the ship.

"Sir I…"

"Ford, I revoke your permission to say what's on your mind." He rubbed his eyes weirly. "Now come and help me bury our men," and with that he walked off towards the ships opening, pulling out his 9mil and a torch.

----------------------------

An hour later and both Abram and Gaul had been buried. Sheppard stood over the two neat graves.

"Are you going to say something?" asked Ford.

"They were good men," he said "Neither deserved to die."

"Im not talking about that sir." The silence spoke volumes but Fordelaborated anyway."I was referring to the bullet in Gauls head."

Sheppard gave Ford a dark look, "This is neither the time nor the place for this, but now that you have bought that up, no i'm not going to mention it."

"Why not?"

"Because likeme, I don't think you honestly believe that Mckay was responsible for it. He still had his 9mil in his hand. That wound looks self inflicted." He said smoothing over one of the graves with his foot. "Gaul wasn't military, he was a scientist."

"Perhaps they shouldn't have been left on their own."

"Don't you think I haven't thought of that already," said Sheppard.

--------------------------

"All finished," said Mckay as the shield around the ship fizzled out. He passed his hand through the area where the shield should have been.

"Very good," said Teyla scanning the landscape for any sign of Sheppard or Ford.

"Anything?" asked Mckay

"Yes see, there," she said smiling.

"Good," said Mckay shifting nervously on his feet.

"Are you okay? you seem very uncomfortable," asked Teyla placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged her off and said, "Of course i'm fine, just peachy," he said, "Why do I look nervous, likely I have something to hide?"

"You just seem on edge," she maintained.

As Sheppard and Ford approached, Mckay picked up his scanner and walked over to the Major, "Im all done, the shield is down and-"

Sheppard held up his finger to Mckay and grumbled; "Hold that thought" walked off a few yards and bent over to throw up. He wretched for a few minutes as the other members of the team glanced at each other and waited for him to straighten up.

When he had finished he wiped a hand across his mouth, kicked sand over the area where he had vomited and shakily made his way back over to the others. "You were saying?" he said resuming as if nothing had happened.

"Are you alright?" asked Mckay

"He's been doing that all the way back here. That's why we took so long," said Ford crinkling his nose.

"Major?" asked Teyla bringing her hand up to his forehead, "You're hot."

"I'm in the desert," he said straightening his back, "Look it's just a touch of sunstroke. I've been running around for the past 15 hours without food or water, im just dehydrated," he said walking over to the ship.

He threw them a cursory look to show he was okay and then very slowly advanced towards the shield, "Its gone right?" he asked Mckay, holding out his hands in front of him and waving them about.

"Its gone."

"Good,because that hurt like hell before," he said stepping inside.

----------------------------------

"Okay Major, we're ready to go," shouted Ford over the hum of the engine.

Sheppard signalled okay with his hand. He had been hit with sickness again as he had settled in the pilot seat and had had to run back outside to empty his meagre stomach contents. Coughing and wiping his mouth he turned back to Ford, "I think that's the-" he held his hand up and placed his hand over his mouth before turning around again.

"He's gonna turn himself inside out," stated Ford.

The outer door closed in Sheppard stumbled back in. He sat down in the pilot seat next to Ford and said weakly, "Im all good."

"Sir you sure you're okay to fly?"

"Im fine," he stated setting the jumper in motion, "I just need to keep focused on flying."

Ford wasn't so sure if that was the case but trusted his superiors judgement.

---------------------

After 7 hours of watching the same set of stars Sheppard yawned and glanced back to Mckay. He was quiet, too quiet and he had yet to see him crack open a power bar, very un-Mckay like.

Teyla was sitting on the opposite side of him, her eyes closed, head resting against the inner hull.

"Perhaps you should let Teyla take a look at that arm of yours," said Ford, adjusting the inertial dampeners on his side.

Sheppard looked down at his arm. Blood had soaked through his field dressing and had slicked the arm rest of his chair, "Don't mess with the controls," said Sheppard, pointing with his good arm. Using the bottom of his black t shirt, he cleaned up the blood on the arm rest and then felt in his vest pocket for another dressing. He was all out. "Teyla, you got any bandages back there," he said without turning around.

"Yes" she stated simply.

"Good, then tape Fords mouth shut," he said turning to the younger man and smiling.

Ford nodded, "Good one, but seriously, you're getting your blood everywhere."

"Point taken," he said, "Teyla I could use one of those bandages."

A few seconds past and then she was at his side, undoing his poor field dressing and placing a new one over it. "It looks badly infected," she said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Its okay," he said looking up to her with weary eyes. His head felt heavy and it was a struggle to keep his eyes open all of a sudden. Licking his lips he realised he wasn't feeling all to well and bought a hand up to wipe a bead of sweat from his forehead, "I've had much worse," he said trying to instil some bravado into his voice.

Teyla nodded and returned to her seat, though she kept a watchful eye on him. His eyes had looked glassy and his pallor had become very pale.

Sheppard inspected his new bandage and returned his gaze to the stars, "Hey Mckay, you alright?" he said.

Mckay didn't answer, "Mckay?"

"Im working, leave me alone," he called out.

"On what?"

"Recalibrating this shield, making it wraith proof," he said and that was the extent of his conversation.

Sheppard massaged his side. It felt as if it was on fire and every movement made him hitch his breath. He knew that at last two of his ribs were broken, he also knew that every movement he was at risk at puncturing a lung or at worst cause internal bleeding. After being on that planet and failing Gaul and Abrams however, he felt it was his responsibility to get his team back in one piece.

Just then he felt his head swim and it was all he could do to stop himself passing out, he blinked, eyelids heavy with exhaustion and pain.

"So Sir, lets say next time any of us goes on a mission we take all the ordinance we need. I mean – Sir?" Ford felt the jumper pitch up and he looked over to the Major. His head was down, chin resting against his chest, eyes closed.

"Teyla, I need some help over here," he said getting up from his seat and grabbing at the controls to set the jumper back on course.

"John, can you hear me, wake up" Sheppard stirred and briefly opened his eyes to mutter something under his breath, but was soon beyond her reach again.

"We need to get him to the back," said Ford, and they both grabbed an arm and hauled him up into a semi standing position. His boots scraped across the floor as they got him to the bench and laid him down.

Ford turned to Mckay and said, "You get in that pilot seat and keep us in a straight line," he said whilst grabbing his water out of his vest.

Mckay got to his feet quickly "Keep us in a straight line, okay I can do that," and proceeded to the front of the ship.

Teyla put her hand on the Majors forehead, " He has a fever" she said resting her hand there.

"Here keep him cool," he said handing her a wet rag.

"Is he okay?" she asked

"I think he's just exhausted," said Ford moving to the front of the ship. "Just keep an eye on him."

----------

Another 7 hours passed and Ford managed to get in touch with Weir, "Hey there Doctor Weir, we'll be back inside an hour."

"Good, is everybody okay? What happened out there?" she stated calmly.

"A wraith had managed to survive, took some fire power to kill that thing, the Major took some fire – he's okay-" he said before she could interject, "We lost Gaul and Abrams mam."

"Im sorry to hear that," said Weir, she was silent for a moment. "You make sure you get back here in one piece. We'll have dinner waiting," she said.

"That would be good," said Ford, "Ford out."

Sheppard opened his eyes and licked his lips, "Hey Teyla," he said in a low voice.

"How are you feeling?" she asked reaching for some water and offering some to him.

Sheppard pushed himself up and hooked his legs over the bench, using one hand to steady himself on the wall he took the water with the other and had a long drink. "Thirsty," he said smiling and handing her the canister back, "How long I been out?"

"7 hours," she said sitting beside him and checking his arm, "We will be back to Atlantis soon."

"That's good to hear," he said pushing himself into a standing position.

"You should sit and rest."

"And give Weir a chance to mother hen me. No way. Im going to walk off this ship when we land," he said and stumbled to the floor as he took a step forward. He laughed and pushed himself back up before Teyla could help him to his feet. "My legs are still asleep," he said pushing her away and walking over to the console. "Rodney, you're in my seat."

Rodney vacated with out another word. "Quiet isn't he?" he said

Ford nodded, "I think the whole experience has shaken him," he said eyeing the Major up carefully.

"I look like shit," said Sheppard,

Ford nodded.

"Im good."

--------------------

The jumper landed smoothly and Weir congratulated them on getting back safely.

As the back door opened the familiar site of Weir and Beckett greeted them.

Sheppard eased himself out of his seat and followed the others off the ship. He turned to Teyla and said, "See walking off this ship," It was at that point he tripped on his united shoe lace and stumbled to the ground at Beckett's feet.

Beckett was immediately on him and calling for a gurney, "Beckett," he called, "Beckett, im fine I just tripped," he said getting to his feet.. He winced.

"Aye, but what's that all about," he said pointing to the Majors arm.

Sheppard held up his hand and walked over to Weir. Digging into his pocket he pulled out Gaul and Abrams uniform patches, "Me and Ford buried them on the planet" he said solemnly, "I thought if we ever got in touch with earth-" he paused.

Weir took the patches from him and smoothed them down in her hands, "I will make sure if we ever do there families will be notified," she looked him up and down, "Get yourself to the infirmary and we'll debrief later."

-----------------------

Sheppard was sat on the infirmary bed, swinging his legs back and forth his arm extended out for Beckett, "What have you been doing Major, rolling around in the sand?" he asked as he inspected the wound.

"As a matter of fact, yes," said Sheppard having a look at his arm. It look red and swollen and blood was still oozing from it.

"Sheppard, what the hell happened out there?" said Weir. She was stood at the end of his bed, arms crossed, brow creased in an expression of anger.

Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck, "We went to the wraith ship and discovered that it was some kind of mass refrigerator. We checked the area for life signs and I split up from Gaul and Abrams and-"

"You left Gaul and Abrams on their own?" asked Weir.

"Yes," he answered exasperated, "I just told you that everything looked clear, we were going to maintain radio contact," he paused, "There was nothing to suggest that a wraith was still there."

"But there was," said Weir sighing as she said it.

"Mckay theorised that a wraith could hibernate and survive by living off the humans," he winced as Beckett fished out a piece of twig out of his wound, "I gave the order to move out of the area immediately and to get back to the puddle jumper." He paused again and took a deep breath, "We weren't quick enough. Abrams was killed instantly and we found Gaul about ten minutes later, he had been left for dead by the wraith."

"So you all stayed in the ship till Ford got there," she said nodding.

"Um, No actually," he swallowed hard, "I left Mckay and Gaul and pursued the wraith."

"What!" Weir threw her arms into the air and shook her head, "I cannot believe you Major. You were under strict instruction before you left not to engage with any hostile life, especially the wraith."

"I didn't. The wraith engaged with us," he shouted back.

"That's besides the point. You should never have left two scientists on their own. Mckay can barely operate in the field and Gaul-," she paused, "He has had no field experience whatsoever. He was never going to be adept to dealing with that kind of situation," she shouted.

"Hey you two, keep it down. Ill have no arguing in my infirmary," said Beckett.

"Doctor Weir," said Sheppard, "I had no choice but to go after that wraith. The puddle jumper had become compromised after he got Gaul's remote and if you didn't want us to come across anything dangerous then you should never have sent me out with men without tactical and field experience on a 15 hour journey. Hell we were jinxing it by going on such a long journey anyway."

Weir took a step forward, "I thought you could handle it," she said

"I can," he said immediately

"Is this what we call handling ourselves Major," she said indicating to his arm.

"Im the CO here," he said, "And I expressed to you my concerns over going on such a long trip with these…….." he paused.

"You were never meant to visit any planets, you assured me you would be fine."

Sheppard stood up and pushed Becketts hand away, "Look, I did what I knew to be best. I kept my men in one undercover area and I drew the wraith to an open expanse so that I would have enough shots at it. I protected Mckay and Gaul as best I could with what I had," he said feeling blood begin to run down his arm. He could feel Beckett tugging at his wrist to sit down and he perched himself back on the bed. He looked down at the floor like a child. "Im used to being in the company of men who have the same experience as me. Men who can fight in battle and hold their own. That trip was a bad idea from the start."

"Im just tired of losing my men to the wraith," said Weir quietly, "Im just….." she looked into his tired eyes, "Tired."

He shared a knowing glance with her and then their attention was turned back to Beckett.

"I don't think the bullets in here, too clean a wound. Its missed bone and arteries, luckily," he said giving Sheppard a dark look, "I'll clean it out and give you a shot of antibiotics to stem off any infection," he began to wash the wound out with saline water, "After that its your standard physical, you're not getting out of it this time."

Sheppard raised his eyebrows, "What are you implying Doc?"

"Teyla said you passed out in the jumper on the way back."

"I was just dehydrated," said Sheppard.

"I'll hook you up to an IV as well, get some much needed fluids into your body," he cleaned up the wound and began applying a clean dressing to his arm, "I want a full report of any injuries you sustained whilst you were out of my sight."

"Yeah well actually-"

Weirs ear piece crackled and she held a finger up as she listened to the voice on the other end.

"Rodney is attempting to take one of the jumpers," she said

"What? Im on it," said Sheppard jumping off the bed

"No major I-"

"I've got it."

"You need to get yourself repaired," she said pushing him towards the bed.

"Oh no you don't," said Beckett grabbing his arm and waving a syringe at him in protest.

"Ill be right back," said Sheppard bringing his hands up in defence, "I have to take this one," he said looking at Weir.

"Why?" she asked crossing her arms again.

"Gaul shot himself in the head in front of Mckay," said Sheppard plainly.

"What?" gasped Weir.

"Just another show of why scientists and war don't mix," he said to her curtly, "Like I said I have to take this one," and with a glance over his shoulder he ran out the door.

-------------------

Rodney was fiddling with the controls of the puddle jumper when the lights dipped and then came back on, "What the hell?" he said angrily hitting one of the consoles.

"Hey don't hit my ship," said Sheppard stalking onto the ship and walking straight up to Rodney. The lights dipped again. "What is that?" asked Sheppard looking upwards.

"Small power outages, I don't know, I don't care, just get off this ship so I can get out of here," he said hitting one of the consoles again.

---------------------------

Weir walked into the control room and approached Grodin who was busying himself on one of the consoles, "Do they know they can be heard all over Atlantis?" she asked

"I would say no," said Grodin smiling, "It appears Atlantis is suffering some minor glitches, including the comms and the secondary systems" he said.

--------------------------

"Where the hell are you going?" shouted Sheppard bringing his arm up and then wincing when he felt a stitch tear at his bicep. He cursed and took a closer step towards Mckay, "Come on we're going to sort this out now."

"Get off me," shouted Mckay pushing him away.

Sheppard stumbled back into one of the consoles and gasped. Rodney had pushed on his broken ribs. Sucking in his breathe, he forced himself into a standing position despite the stars dancing in his eyes and angrily said, "This is about Gaul isn't it?"

"Oh now you ask about it," said Rodney in despair

"I didn't mention it before, because i didn't think it made a difference," said Sheppard holding his protesting side.

"He's dead and its my fault."

"You couldn't have known that he would use that gun on himself. You couldn't have known he would kill himself Rodney," said Sheppard through gritted teeth. He was beginning to shake as a bead of sweat formed on his brow.

"The gun that YOU told me to put in his hand," said Mckay bringing his hands up and scrubbing at his face and eyes, "You left us, all of us on that ship."

"You wanna make this my fault Mckay," said Sheppard bringing his hand up to wipe away a fallen bead of sweat. "I made a decision which was right at the time."

"A decision that cost."

"You're not military, none of you were. I was out there alone trying to save your ass because I know what i'm doing. You have no idea about weapon ordinance, tactics, combat," he said wincing, "If I had taken you with me, you would be dead. I couldn't protect all of you," he said leaning against the wall heavily "-and Gaul got injured when I was there Rodney, he was dying when I left you." he stated solemnly.

"Oh so it is my fault."

"That's not what im saying," he said exasperated, "Your irrational and you're twisting my words."

"And what's this about us not being tactical, I saved your ass out there. If I hadn't turned up when I had to see you flying to the ground after that wraith hit you for the millionth time, you would be dead,"

--------------

"Oh you stupid……." said Beckett as he heard over the airwaves.

----------------------------

"I had it under control."

"You were unconscious on the ground, that wraith was coming straight for you," stated Rodney.

"You came along fired a few shots and then what Rodney, you ran out of ammo and who did you ask for help," he hook a thumb at himself, "Me," he pushed himself straight again and ignored the tug at his side and the heavy feeling he was getting in his gut, "Anyway this isn't what this is about. You're angry with yourself , not me."

"I just wish you would have stayed and tried to keep strong. I couldn't, I failed him. He knew I couldn't promise to get him out of there."

Sheppard hung his head, "Come on lets get out of here."

"No, I need to get away from here."

"You are not leaving."

"Is that an order Major?" shouted Mckay

Sheppard clenched his jaw, "If you want it to be I can make it an order."

---------------------

"Should we stop this?" said Grodin looking up at Elizabeth Weir expectantly.

She was too busy engrossed in the ensuing argument of the Major and Doctor Mckay. He scanned the gateroom and it seemed that everyone else was as well.

--------------------------

"You don't have any kind of authority over me," said Mckay picking up his scanner and putting it in his pocket and he turned to walk away.

"What?" said Sheppard incredulously as he followed Mckay out of the puddle jumper, "You are part of my team."

"Im not your responsibility," said Mckay

"Of course you're my responsibility. Everyone here is my responsibility. That's what being the highest ranking officer means and hey McKay im not even supposed to be that." he followed Mckay breathing heavily with the effort as he continued to walk away from him, "And do you remember why?"

"We don't have to talk about this," said Mckay despondently. He stopped in the corridor.

"Of course we do, because you bought it up" shouted Sheppard, his voice breaking "I killed Sumner, I shot my superior in the heart and hell while were on it, I woke up the wraith, i'm responsible for the deaths of Gaul and Abram's and Decks and I cheated on my English exam at college," he coughed into his hand

Mckay shook his head and the continued walking, "You're unbelievable."

"Yes I am," said Sheppard nodding in agreement"- and you know what? You think I was selfish going after that wraith and leaving you alone. Well better me dead than the guy who can understand and fix Atlantis when its broken," he shouted as they walked through into the control room, entering by the gate.

Weir took a step forward and looked down form the balcony, she knew to keep her distance at a time like this.

"What?" said Rodney turning on his heel. "You honestly think your worth less than me?"

"I think if a dhd or a zpm or a thingamy whatsit goes wrong, you're the guy everyone will run to. I can barely fix a plugfuse and hell I fly fighter jets for a livingso what does that say about me?"

Rodney smiled for the first time since coming back, "I can't operate doors or use the ancient gene as naturally as you, and i'm not so sure that that I wouldn't have done the same as Gaul."

Sheppard didn't answer. He just stood there seemingly mesmerised, his hand on his stomach. It was the first time since they had begun arguing that Mckay realised that Sheppard was not well.

Sheppard suddenly pitched forward and sank down to his knees

"Major what's wrong?" shouted Mckay running over to him and kneeling besides him. "Hey somebody help us down here!" he shouted as a flurry of activity suddenly seemed to burst to life behind him. Weir was running down the stairs, Beckett was being called.

"I haven't finished arguing with you yet," said Sheppard between gasps.

His chest felt as if it was about to explode and he was barely able to keep himself from toppling over. He was in an uncomfortable kneeling position, one hand touching the stone cold floor the other supporting his side.

"Would you shut up for a minute?" said Mckay in a low voice.

"Don't tell me to……shut……" he breathed heavily, his face panicked with the effort.

He bent forward and coughed and a fine spray of blood glossed the floor.

"Oh God," said Mckay putting a hand over his mouth

Beckett ran down the stairs and knelt next to Sheppard

"Tell me what's going on Major?" he said reaching into his bag and pulling out a portable oxygen mask and putting it over his face.

"Cant breathe," rasped Sheppard and he coughed again more blood spraying the inside of the mask.

Beckett reached for his stethoscope and lifted the Majors shirt to listen to his chest front and back.

"Decreased breath sounds on the left" he said shaking his head, "You said he fell?" No answer

"Mckay"

"Wha…?"

"You said the Major fell?" he said putting his hand on Sheppard's shoulder.

"He uh…..he was hit by the wraith.," he said indicating by putting his palm out "In the chest, he told me he had cracked ribs," he stuttered, "Obviously I just broke them when i….."

"Rodney…calm down," he said " The Major should have known better," he said giving Sheppard a look.

He managed to lift his gaze and smile weakly, "Sorry," he rasped and coughed again.

"Okay, lets get him to the infirmary as quickly and as smoothly as possible."

Sheppard tried to hold on for as long as possible as the gurney was lowered but he lost the battle and crumbled to the floor.

-----------------------

Mckay walked into the infirmary but something stopped him at the door. From his vantage point he could see the Major lying on one of the beds. A breathing mask over his face, a machine next to him bleeping. He looked pale and exhausted and knowing he had contributed to his injury made Mckay feel even more responsible.

"You okay there?" asked Beckett coming up beside him. He was drying his hands with a clean towel.

"Is he okay?" asked Mckay taking a tentative step forward.

"I'm just about to take his vitals if you want to come over," he said slapping on a pair of latex gloves.

They approached the bed quietly and Beckett began to take the Majors obs. He gave Mckay a running commentary as he made the checks.

"Blood pressure down, good breath sounds, temperature returning to normal, that means no infection," he said directing that to McKay, "It all looks good," he said taking a penlight out of his pocket and opening the majors eyes to check his pupils.

Sheppard chose that point to snap awake and slapped Beckett across his face with the back of his hand, "Ahh," he said bringing his hands up. The sudden burst of activity making him cough hard into his fist.

"Calm down," said Beckett passing him a glass of water, "Your ribs are bound up pretty tight; I don't want you breaking them again."

Sheppard nodded and grabbed at the glass, missed it and it spilt to the ground.

"Ah sh….sorry,"

"What's wrong with him?" asked Mckay grabbing one of the chairs and sitting down at the end of the bed.

"Drugged up to the eyeballs," said Beckett "Ill leave you too it and grab a mop," he said indicating to the floor.

Sheppard smiled and yawned, "Oops," and then readjusted his seating position, "You got any food around here," he drugged glassed eyes moved lazily as they scanned the room.

"I can get you something," offered Mckay

"No turkey," said Sheppard yawning again, "I don't like turkey."

"Ok," said Mckay going to stand, "Uh, im…im sorry about," he said indicating to his chest

"Oh breaking me," said Sheppard, "Impaling me with my own rib," he nodded, "Thought you might."

"And i'm sorry about earlier…..im going to talk to Heightmeyer about Gaul."

"It will help."

"You were right."

"I was."

"And you'll be okay."

"I will," said Sheppard, his eyes sliding closed.

"We can talk about this later," said Mckay starting to walk away.

"Don't forget my turkey sandwich," said Sheppard eyes still closed

"I thought you said.."

"I changed my mind, what can I say Im fickle."

-----------------

"Uh Major?" Sheppard opened his eyes. When had he fallen asleep? And where was his sandwich? Had he eaten it?

"Doctor Weir," he grumbled.

"How are you feeling?" she asked rubbing his arm.

"Yeah alive," he said attempting to sit up. He pushed a hand through his dark unruly hair, "Mckay saw me earlier," he said.

"Yes I know. I had a little talk with him," She perched on the side of the bed, "He told me what happened out there," She looked down at the floor. "It turns out, I was wrong." She looked up at him, "Can you forgive me?"

"What did he say?" said Sheppard.

"What you said, that you checked in regularly, followed the correct military procedure for protecting civilians, that you were injured for them and that you were the one who managed to kill the damn thing."

"I did do all that," he said with a wry smile.

"Im going to suggest that all members of this base undertake basic weapons and arm combat training."

"Good idea," said Sheppard reaching for his water. "So Mckays going to talk to the shrink?" he asked

"I suggested he do it. I didn't make it an order, but I think he will. Maybe you should," she prompted.

"Neh, Im fine."

"You didn't tell us about your ribs," she said, "You have got to stop playing down your injuries."

"I kind of got distracted here," he said yawning, "I didn't think they were that bad," he lied.

"Yes well next time you might not be so lucky."

"Yes mam," he said sinking down the bed.

"You're tired. You need to get some rest," she stood up, "Ill leave you to it."

"You want my report tomorrow?" asked Sheppard.

"Tomorrow," she nodded, "This time i'll listen to your side of the story Major."