If there was one thing that Kryten secretly loved, it was a crisis.

Never was he needed more than when things were going badly. He simply adored the additional responsibility that was invested in him when he smeg had truly hit the fan. He was needed to keep everyone calm, to be a tower of support and reassurance and to perform those mundane but crucial tasks that just simply had to be done, like first aid and the making of the tea.

Having spent the last two hours talking to Charlie through a locked door, he'd finally persuaded her to come out, so he could perform the aforementioned mundane but crucial tasks. The mechanoid gently manoeuvred her into the midsection, where she was deposited into a chair at the table.

"Now, you just sit there and I'll go and make you a nice, hot cup of sweet tea" he patted Charlie's shoulder in a comforting way before he smiled and bustled into the kitchen.

Charlie didn't move. She sat, her back ramrod straight and stared without looking at anything in particular. Though her grief was still raw and bitter, licking at her insides like the flames of an inferno, she felt like she simply couldn't shed any more tears today. She shuddered slightly, wrapping her arms around her cold body; closed her eyes and pretended it was Rimmer's embrace.

Toni, who was sat across from her, gave a sad smile. Cat burst into the midsection holding two suits in his hands, each blessed with his usual stylish flair and striking detail. One was pure and brilliant white with ivory coloured silk cuffs and lapels; the other was deepest, darkest black emblazoned with charcoal coloured sequins.

He frowned, so the edges of his shapely eyebrows nearly rested atop his nose. "You see these!" he yowled at the occupants of the room, none of whom took any real notice. "Take a good long look 'cos I won't get to wear them till someone else decides to die!"

Charlie gave another shudder, frowning in utter repulsion.

Cat sighed mournfully and gazed at the two suits in longing "the black one would've looked great on me…and the white one too. Heck, I'd look fabulous in both!" he scowled and hissed "trust Goalpost Head to ruin my clothing plans!"

"Cat" said Toni, her tone dangerously low.

"I mean" continued Cat, completely undeterred "would it have killed him to stay dead? These suits need to be worn babes, they-"

The words finally sunk into Charlie's conscious, her head snapped up, eyes wide and expectant "what did you say?"

"I said, these suits need to-"

"No, no – before that, the bit about Rimmer staying dead….what d'you mean?"

Cat rolled his eyes so quickly his kohl eyeliner wriggled "Get with the times girl! Mech monster created some form of anty-dotey for Alphabet Head and Garry the Gophers ugly cousin has gone back out to get him."

Charlie leapt to her feet, jostling Kryten's arm away causing hot tea to slop out of the mug onto the floor "why did no-one tell me?" she said,

"We didn't want to say anything till we were sure it'd work" explained Toni.

Fear clouded the jubilance. "Did it work? Is Rimmer okay? Is he normal?"

"He was never normal" sniffed Cat, wondering if he could pull of the funereal look for Sunday dinner.

Kryten made soothing gestures with his hands "The computerised antidote I created did successfully rid Mr Rimmer's hologrammatic mainframe of the corruptive virus, the question is…is…" he trailed off.

"The question is? What?" asked, well rather demanded Charlie

Toni chipped in "Whether Dave and Rimmer can make it back safely – they're still in a zombie infested town and Dave's not exactly at his best at the minute, what with the busted arm and everything."

"Oh god" muttered Charlie "have you heard anything yet?"

"Nothing ma'am, the radios are still down. But if everything has gone according to plan, they should be back any time soon."

"And if things haven't gone to plan?" asked Toni, who was as much on edge as Charlie was. Kryten hastily lowered his optical units to the floor and drummed his cubed fingers on his chest plate. The question hung in the air; it glided about the room like a noxious smoke. Everyone was already fully aware of the price that could be paid for a plan going haywire. The costs were too high.

Cat, noting the despondent expressions shared by Toni and Charlie, carefully placed his suits down on the table. He wrapped a tender arm around each of the girls shoulders, drawing them close. He purred softly "Don't worry" he said gently "I'm sure they're both fine!"

There was a pause.

"And if they are dead, I'll be here to 'comfort' you ladies – all night long if I have to!"

"Cat!" cried Toni and Charlie in unison, pulling away in disgust.

"You've got the tact of a Tax Man y'know that!" snapped Charlie

"Hey" yowled Cat, holding his hands up high "you can't blame a guy for tryin'!"

Toni opened her mouth, presumably to blame Cat for indeed trying but she froze. Footsteps were echoing down the corridor, shuffling closer and closer.

Lister appeared at the doorway, leaning against the frame for support, closing his eyes briefly as if steadying himself.

Charlie felt her legs buckle as a sick realisation crept through her, tears welled in her eyes and her throat became painfully tight.

"I'm sorry…" whispered Lister

Charlie sobbed. Toni covered her mouth with her hand and gave a little whimper; even Cat had the good grace to look vaguely upset.

"Smeghead's back"

Rimmer stepped into the light of midsection, he was beaming. Within seconds Charlie was hung off his shoulders, half laughing, half crying. "I thought I'd lost you" she whispered, punctuating each word with a kiss.

Lister watched for a second or two in bemusement "No accounting for taste is there" he joked.

Toni smiled, gently wrapping her arms around her boyfriends waist and snuggling close "No hard feelings then" she asked "about…" she nodded to Charlie and Rimmer, who had sacrificed the need to talk in favour of fervent kissing.

Lister sighed "Nah, I mean he can't be a complete smeghead if he did that for her, y'know…sacrificing himself" he paused "she must mean the world to him"

Toni grinned and pecked a quick kiss on his cheek "I'm so proud of you". He returned the grin before it slipped into something of a grimace.

"Guys!" he yelled at Charlie and Rimmer, whose passion had escalated to the point where clothes were being discarded. "For smegs sake get a room! We've all seen enough horrors today without needing to watch you two get jiggy!"

Charlie pulled away from Rimmer's lips before practically running up to Lister, her smile a mile wide.

"Oh no" said Lister, backing away "Smeg off, I aint joining in!"

She threw her arms around the scouser's neck and squeezed him tight "thank you" she said, "thank you!"

He grinned.

"And erm, sorry about the er" she pointed to the scratches on his cheek.

"Forget about it" he dismissed "it'll heal – now go to bed quickly, before Rimmer dies of sexual frustration.

Charlie giggled before darting out of the midsection, Rimmer in hot pursuit.

A few short hours later and Kryten was performing his usual nightly round of the ship, checking to see that everything was in order.

Cat was curled up on a pile of towels in the laundry room, snuggled up to the two suits he never got to wear. Making a mental note to iron the suits tomorrow, Kryten crept into Toni and Lister's bedroom. The pair were fast asleep and by the looks on their faces, their dreams were untroubled by the horrors of the day.

The mechanoid silently slipped back into the corridor and up to Rimmer's door. Judging by the noise, he and Charlie were most definitely not asleep. As another resounding cry of "Geronimo" permeated from under the door, Kryten wandered his way down to the midsection.

He set about clearing away all the various paraphernalia that always seemed to work its way around the ship during the course of the day. Whistling merrily to himself as he bustled around the room, he stopped suddenly as he across one of Mr Lister's vids.

"Mutant Flesh Eating Massacre 4" – the cover depicted a green, rotting individual clutching at the screaming face of a pretty, young girl with its withered fingers. Kryten 'tsked' in a disapproving manner. In his opinion, they'd all had quite enough that that for one day thank you very much!

Wrinkling his nasal units in obvious disgust, he picked up the vid and held the offending item between his forefinger and thumb. He crossed the room, over to the waste disposal unit. The door bleeped open and the vid was tossed unceremoniously into the gaping darkness. Without a seconds hesitation Kryten pressed the 'activate' button and flushed the damned thing into space.

The End

Phew, it's over! For the record, I've been officially been in the process of writing this story for 2 years, 6 months, 28 days, or put another way that's 942 days. That's 81,388,800 seconds. Aren't I shameful eh? Anyhow, I'd just like to tie this story off with a huge thank you to any readers that are still around. I thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed my writing.

This is likely to be the end of my original characters Toni and Charlie – so it's kinda unlikely they'll be another sequel, but I've got a few ideas in the bag.

Many thanks once more!

Sunny

XXXX