HURRAH! I GIVE YOU MY HORRIBLE FIRST ATTEMPT AT YAOI!
Odori: It sucks.
QUIET YAMI! NOBODY ASKED YOU!
Odori: Frankly, I don't care.
Gee, thanks a lot.
Odori: Just shut up and do the disclaimer so we don't get sued.
Fine, maybe I will so Nyah!
Disclaimer: No. Just no.
"And we are put on Earth a little space,
that we may learn to bear the beams of love."
-William Blake
I awake, once again, to the sound of something crashing and most likely bursting into to flames.
"RYOU!"
My, what a lucky hikari I am.
"Coming Bakura!" I swear, he's an idiot. You'd think I could teach Mr. I-was-a-great-and-mighty-tomb-robber-who-evaded-the-blasted-pharaohs-traps how to work a bloody microwave, but then, you'd be mistaken.
"RYOU!"
"I said I was coming!"
I finally grope my way to the kitchen (it's 9:30 a.m. And I am not a morning person), and look at the scene in front of me with pure shock and horror.
"The Ra-damned machines blew up on me again!"
Oh yes, you heard right. Machines. Plural. As in the toaster, microwave, and oven, all at the same time.
I think my left eye just twitched.
I slap a hand to my forehead. Don't get me wrong, I love my yami, but really...
"I'll start cleaning this up. There's a spare toaster in the cupboard. Why don't you get it and I'll make you some toast." Resistance is futile.
I watch him as he fetches it. Well, more accurately, I watch his ass as he leaves. What? I can't help it, it's a nice rear end!
I sigh. I suppose it's obvious I used to have a huge crush on my yami. It was probably because all the other yami's and hikari's were getting together. But it's ok now.
I am absolutely, positively, 100 percent over h-
"Boo."
"KYA! Bakura, how long have you been there?" Oh yes, good going Ryou, let out yet another high pitched girly scream.
"Long enough, yadonushi," he says with a smirk, showing off a fang. I frown slightly. He hasn't called me that in a long time...
I then start to realize how close we are. We're almost touching noses.
Oh, Ra, I can feel the heat rising to my face. I blush so easily! And Bakura still hasn't moved!
"Anou... Bakura... is there a reason, anou, why you're not moving..?" Wow that came out retarded. You're an idiot Ryou, an absolute idiot.
"I like it here."
"Anou... anou..." WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT? Gee, that's great? "Anou... the toaster..." That works too. Its equally dumb.
Thankfully, he hands me the toaster and turns away, retreating out of the kitchen. I take this moment to look at my reflection in the metal side of the toaster. Well, my face closely resembles a sunburned tomato, and I think I'm sweating out of gland I didn't know existed, but besides that I'm totally composed. Right.
The toast is done, and I start buttering it when the doorbell rings. I groan. There's only two people that could possibly be.
I trudge over to the door, where Bakura is already waiting.
"Why haven't you opened it?" He gives me a dead pan stare.
"You really think I'm going to open it to those two?"
"Be nice! I thought they were your best friends!"
"They are. Doesn't make them any less insane." He's right.
"Fine. I'll be the courteous-"
"Kura-chan!" A flash of blond zooms past me. And so it begins.
"Malik get off me you psychopath!" Said Egyptian pouts, but removes himself from my darker half's body in any case.
Malik Ishtar, for the most part, is actually relatively sane. He goes about daily life like a normal human being, enjoying the good things, scorning the bad. It's his yami who is completely off his rocker.
Speaking of which...
"Hey Ry-chan!" Oof. I now have a mental platinum blond attached to my stomach, pinning me to the floor.
"Oi! Marik! Get off my hikari you maniac!" Bakura screams, kicking him in the ribs.
"Ow! Kura, you meanie!"
"Don't call me that, damnit!" And so the two darks start bickering.
Sighing, I turn to Malik. "Why are you here so early?"
"We're taking you shopping!" Bakura freezes mid-punch.
"You're what?"
"Taking him shopping Kura-chan! Geez!"
"But Malik," I reason. "It's only a quarter to ten."
"Yep! We're going early to avoid the crowds."
"But... WHY?"
"Because!" he answers as if that's all the explanation I need.
"Ishtar, let him go! ISHTAR!" Alas, I'm already out the door.
"Don't worry Kura-chan! We'll take care of little Ryou."
I'm beginning to fear for my life.
Oi! Oi oi oi oi oi! That was freaking horrible! Worse then i thought it would be! OI!
Odori: It was pretty bad.
Agh! That was the worst thing I've ever written!
I'm sorry for my suckiness everyone. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
Oh, and would you pwease review? Constructive criticism is adored (god knows I need it) but pure flames will be used to slowly roast Anzu on a spit!
Dewa Mata!
Saruwatari