A/N: So, I wrote this as a oneshot, then added a chapter, and now I've revised it. I realized I had MAJOR plot inconsistincies and I needed to fix it up. So, for you who've already read this story, I suggest you reread the first two chapters, because it's a lot better now, hopefully. And for the newbies to this story, enjoy a fully revised edition ofTortures of the Damned.
Dislaimer: The characters in this story are of the great J.K. so, yea. Oh, and the lyrics (in bold and italics) are from the song "Tortures of the Damned" by Bayside and I changed the lyrics the slightest bit (instead of the age of 22, I changed it to 17, so yea…no biggie)
Warnings: cutting, language, attempted suicide, male/male relationship (but like I really had to tell you…)
On with the story!
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Draco Malfoy rushed into his dormitory, flushed in the face, in shock of what he had just done.
I can't believe I did that. I'm so fucking stupid! Telling Harry I loved him and kissing him like that. Of course he shoved me away, what did I expect? I'm such an idiot. I knew he wouldn't return my feelings, so why did I set myself up for such rejection?
Flashback
"Hey, Potter!" a voice cried over the chatter of the hallways. Harry turned around sharply, coming face to face with his school enemy, Draco Malfoy.
"What do you want, Malfoy," Harry asked, obviously very pissed off.
"Well, I wanted to see if we could talk for a minute…I have something to tell you. It's really important…" Draco replied nervously.
"What is it about, Malfoy? Because if it's not absolutely necessary, then I don't want to have to talk to you."
"Why would I talk to you unless if it wasn't absolutely necessary, Potter?" Malfoy easily slipped on his mask, once again taking the role of a complete ass.
"Fine," Harry huffed. Draco pointed to an empty classroom, and Harry rushed in, wanting to get it over as fast as possible. Draco, on the other hand, went into the classroom as slow as possible, trying to put off what was about to happen as much as possible.
As soon as Draco entered the room and closed the door, Harry said coldy, "What is it?"
"Okay, umm, I need you to not talk at all during what I'm about to say. Don't say anything!" Draco added as Harry opened his mouth to fling an insult at him.
"Like I was saying," Draco continued, "Please don't say anything until I'm finished. This is hard enough as it is. Well, here goes. Harry, ever since beginning of fifth year, I've realized something.
"I saw you and instead of feeling the normal spite and hate towards you, I felt something that I wasn't sure what it was, but it was something.
"I knew I never really hated you, but I never let myself truly know until fifth year.
"I also started noticing you more; I saw things that no one else saw. I saw the way you slipped on masks so easily, just to hide from the world.
"I soon could tell when you were showing the real you, or when you hid behind one of your masks. But that's not all I noticed.
"At the start of six year, I started noticing little quirks, too. The way you bite your lip when you're under stress, usually in Potions, because, well everyone knows Snape puts in that little extra to make your day as bad as possible.
"I noticed how you ruffle your hair when you've heard bad news, or the way you look when you truly smile.
"I've noticed how you shuffle your right foot the slightest bit when you're lying, and they way you hold your side when you're trying to contain and hide your feelings.
"I've noticed so many things about you, it'd take hours to tell, but the point is, that, well, quite frankly, I've fallen head over heels in love with you.
"I've woken up in a cold sweat and sobbing frantically after having nightmares of you in pain or dying.
"I feel a twinge of pain when I see you with girls, and unbearable jealousy no doubt. I feel like I've been crushed when I see you upset, and have to fight back the urge to comfort you and do anything to make you happy.
"I love you so much, even though I'm pretty certain you could never feel the same, I had to let you know. I love you, Harry Potter, more than I can bear."
With that said, Draco leaned in and lightly brushed his lips against Harry's. He didn't further the kiss, nor did he pull away, he simply waited. He waited for Harry to deepen the kiss if he so wished.
A few seconds passed when Draco was shoved. Hard. He fell back and hit the wall behind him. Before he could comprehend what was going on, he was punched in the face by his love.
"Don't you ever fucking touch me again, Malfoy. I will never love you. You hold no place in my heart." He was punched again, but didn't care and hardly noticed.
He didn't notice Harry storm away, and definitely didn't notice the look of sorrow and desire in Harry's eyes before he stormed away. He slid down the wall, staying on the floor for who knows how long. His world had crumbled.
End Flashback
Harry's words still ringing through his ears, 'I will never love you. You hold no place in my heart.'
Unable to handle it anymore, Draco finally collapsed. He fell to the ground, sobs racking his body. He cried until he physically couldn't anymore. Then he just laid there for a while, until he knew what he had to do.
I hate myself
More than I ever let on
I'm burnt out at 17
He slowly stood up, making his way to his trunk.
I have lived too fast
And I have loved too much
He opened it up, rummaged around until he pulled out the desired item. His switchblade.
And I'll die too young
He thought back on the last hours. It's all my fault, why did I have to fucking tell him? He popped up the blade.
But I chose this cup
That I drank from
Knew what I was getting into
He cut two deep slits across his right hand. Repeating the same on the other wrist. Slowly, the blood was flowing down his hands, dripping onto the cold cement floor.
But I couldn't let on
What I had to keep in
He remembered all the things he'd done for Harry, and Harry probably didn't even know. The way he was also a spy when becoming a Death Eater.
He fought for the light, Dumbledore and Snape being the only ones knowing, and Draco was still confused as to why Severus didn't tell his father about it. Eventually his father and Voldemort found out. Draco barely made it out alive afterwards.
I'm ashamed of myself
And unspeakable sins
That I've committed and
I've made mistakes
Draco soon grew dizzy, falling to the ground once again. He sat himself up and waited. Waited for his sweet release.
But I'll find my way
There's no explanation for
The things I've failed at before
Just as he was slipping away, his door opened, revealing an emerald-eyed boy. "Draco!" He heard the boy cry his name, but couldn't realize who it was until they were sitting next to him.
But you can't hold my hand
"Harry," Draco rasped out, slowly losing consciousness. "I love you," Draco said again, his eyes fluttering closed.
It just hurts to be a man
"No, Draco! Don't leave me! I love you too much to let you go," Harry cried, fresh tears leaking from his eyes, falling down his face. Draco turned to him, and Harry continued hurriedly.
"I didn't want to admit it, but I love you so much. When you told me, I was sure you were playing a joke on me, and I was mad.
"It was only after what I said, did I realize you must've been telling the truth. I came running here as soon as I realized. I love you too, Draco. I can't imagine life without you, and I don't want to.
"I can't believe you didn't figure it out with all the other things you noticed. Well, I guess the same goes for me. I noticed so many things about you, but didn't even have the suspicion of you liking me.
"But that's unimportant now. The only thing that matters is I love you. I love you!
"Please don't leave me, I love you too fucking much, I can't lose anyone else that matters to me.
"And see," a now hysterical Harry, pulled Draco's hand to his heart, "You feel that? That's my heart. It belongs to you. You don't just have a place in it, you own the whole damn thing." Harry gave a very half-hearted chuckle.
"I love you, Draco Malfoy, so much I can hardly stand it."
Harry then leaned in and gave Draco an innocent kiss on the lips, and after a few moments, pulled away. Draco looked at Harry, smiled his first ever genuine smile, and soon darkness consumed him.
Through the tortures of the damned.