This Ain't the Golden Years

Chapter 40

Excerpt from Diana's Phone Conversation with Clark Kent:
Time: 7:58 pm

Diana: Clark, what the hell are you doing at the Fortress of Solitude?

Clark:...Uh…

Diana: Are you hiding?

Clark (defensively): No!

Pause

Clark: Maybe

Diana: You know…I think Bruce is right. You're getting too worked up over this.

Clark: No I'm not!

Diana (dryly): Uh huh.

Clark: You sound like Lois.

Diana: At least there're two adults around here.

Clark: (Glaring at his cell phone.)

Diana (gives up): Okay, fine. But as long as you're hiding up there…

Clark: I'm not hiding!

Diana (ignoring him): …you can at least look through the League applications for membership.

Clark:...Fine

Diana (sweetly): Goodnight Clark!

Clark:…Women…

A little later:

Clark: (Looking over membership applications.)

Clark: Who the heck is Zeta?

…………………………………………………

Location: The Batcave
Time: 9:21 pm

Bruce: (Suspicious Glare)

Terry: Now what?

Bruce: You're the one who caused the mess on the Watchtower, aren't you?

Terry (innocent as an angel): No I'm not.

Bruce: (Lifts an eyebrow).

Terry:…

Bruce (warning): McGinnis…I don't appreciate being lied to.

Terry: Yeah…sorry.

Bruce: So?

Terry: What?

Bruce: I know Iris helped you.

Terry: Dammit!

Bruce: The Council wants you suspended.

Terry:…

Bruce (dryly): Don't worry, I haven't told them it was you two. And I won't…so long as you trade me information.

Terry (dryly): That's blackmail.

Bruce: I learn from the best.

Terry: Is that a compliment?

Bruce: Who said I was talking about you?

Terry: Me.

Bruce:…

Terry: What kind of info?

Bruce: What are the two miscreants up to?

Terry: Uh…

Bruce: I have J'onn's number on speed dial.

Terry:…Only if you promise not to tell anyone else.

Bruce: I'll be the judge of that.

Terry: But…

Bruce: J'onn. Speed dial. Angry Martian.

Terry: That's not funny!

Bruce: It's not a joke. Now, what are they doing?

Terry: Nothing.

Bruce: (Glare)

Terry: Really, they're doing nothing. Ollie and Wally just wanted to psyche everyone out.

Bruce:…

Terry: Well?

Bruce: What?

Terry: Are you going to tattle?

Bruce (Glare): Tattle?

Terry: Tattle.

Bruce: I never 'tattle.' I inform people of pressing information.

Terry: Tattle.

Bruce: (Glare)

Terry: Seriously though…

Bruce: No, I'm not. This can be a lesson to the others.

Terry: Don't flip out?

Bruce: I was going to say, 'Never underestimate Green Arrow and the Flash.'

Terry:…

Bruce: But 'Don't flip out' works too.

………………………………………………………

Location: The West home
Time: 10:05 pm

Wally: Yeeessss?

Shayera: (Glare)

Wally: What's that look for?

Shayera: You know what.

Wally: (Innocent)

Shayera: Just so you know, John, Clark, and Vic are having a holy fit.

Wally (slightly disappointed): Only them?

Shayera: (Suspicious glare)

Wally: Come on Shay…isn't anyone else worked up?

Shayera: (Raises an eyebrow)

Shayera: Okay, what are you two really after?

Wally: Two more hours, can't you wait?

Shayera: (Glare)

Wally: Seriously, no one else is scared? What about the Bats?

Shayera:…Well…

Wally: Pleeeaassseee…

Shayera: I think Bruce is worried, but not as much as the others. Clark's hiding at the Fortress of Solitude,…

Wally: Seriously!?

Shayera: John and Rex refuse to step on either the Watchtower or the Metrotower…

Wally: (Laughing)

Shayera:…Vic, Helena informs me, is currently inseparable from his laptop…

Wally: (Still laughing)

Shayera (smirking now): Barda and Orion are keeping their weapons close at hand, Dr. Fate's not answering his phone calls, and Kai-ro's meditating.

Wally: What about Diana?

Shayera: She refuses to run. Currently she and J'onn are watching The Incredibles and are sipping on iced mochas.

Wally: Huh. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Shayera:…You two aren't really doing anything…are you?

Wally: Promise not to tell?

Shayera (smirks): And ruin the fun?

………………………………………..

Excerpt from Roy's Phone Conversation with Ollie:
Time: 10:41 pm

Roy: Come on Ollie…

Ollie: I'm not telling!

Roy: Please?

Ollie: No.

Roy: Pleeaassee?

Ollie: I said no!

Roy: Dammit, it was worth a try.

Ollie: One hour and twenty minutes.

Roy: Come on…I'm on egg shells here!

Ollie: You can wait like everyone else!

Pause

Ollie: Is Supes really hiding at the Fortress?

Roy: That's what I hear.

………………………………..

Location: The Fortress of Solitude
Time: 10:55 pm

Clark: Hmm…I'll have to ask Bruce about this Zeta guy. I remember him mentioning him before. Let's see, who else is on the list…

Clark: Squirrel Girl? What kind of name is that?

Phone rings

Clark: Uh…

Phone rings

Clark: Uh…Lois?

Lois: Clark!

Clark: …What?

Lois: You know what! My husband is not going to spend the night hiding in a cave.

Clark (defensively): It's not a cave.

Lois: I don't care if it's the Taj Mahal! You either come home now or spend the next week sleeping on the couch!

Clark: Yes dear.

………………………………..

Location: The Watchtower
Time: 11:00 pm

Diana: Darn, the movie's over.

J'onn: Should we watch another one?

Diana: I don't know…I'm curious to see what the Terrible Two are going to do.

J'onn: (Smiles)

Diana: Wait a minute…You know!

J'onn: I know many things, please elaborate.

Diana: Stop stalling! You know what they're planning! Admit it!

J'onn: Yes, I did read their minds.

Diana: So…

J'onn: One more hour.

Diana: Damn.

Diana:…

Diana: Want to watch Shrek?

……………………………………….

Location: The Szasz (Sage) home
Time: 11:12 pm

Vic: Helena! Give it back!

Helena: Vic, if you don't go to bed, I'm throwing your laptop out of the window!

Vic: Do you know how much that cost!

Helena: It's not worth as much as my sanity!

Vic: But…

Helena: And believe me, Mister. After being married to you and having three of your children, sanity is a luxury!

Vic: (Sighs)

Helena: I'm waiting…

Vic: Can I have it back?

Helena: I'm thinking.

Vic: I'll help you pull one over on Dinah if let me have it back.

Helena: Hmm…

Vic: Helena?

Helena: All right, but only until midnight. Then we're going to bed.

Vic's inner thought: Wait for it…

Helena: Then we take out that witch.

Vic's inner thought: Works every time.

Vic: Midnight, fine. Stress now, sleep later.

Helena: Now what can I do to that woman this time?

……………………………..

Location: The Kent home
Time: 11:22 pm

Lois: Clark…

Clark: I can't sleep Lois.

Lois: (Sighs)

Lois: Well I can't with you fidgeting like that.

……………………………..

Location: The Stewart home
Time: 11:31 pm

Rex: Aren't you worried Mom?

Shayera: Who? Me?

John: She knows something.

Shayera: Hmm, I think I'll go take a shower.

John: Shayera!

Rex: Mom!

…………………….

Location: The McGinnis home
Time: 11:38 pm

Terry: ZZZzzzzzz…

Matt: (Putting his mother's lipstick on Terry's face)

…………………………….

Location: The Batcave
Time: 11:39 pm

Bruce: (Watching an old Grey Ghost episode.)

Ace: Zzzz…

…………………………..

Location: The Kent home
Time: 11:42 pm

Clark: Damn Wally.

Krypto: Zzzzz…

Clark: Damn Ollie.

Lois: (Rolls her eyes)

………………………….

Location: The Metrotower
Time: 11:47 pm

Orion: (Glaring at everyone)

Barda: (Checking her weapons)

Mr. Miracle: (Ignoring them as he reads a book.)

Barda: You ready?

Orion: (Nods his head)

Mr. Miracle: (Sighs dramatically.)

……………………..

Location: The Stewart home
Time: 11:49 pm

Shayera: La la la…!

John: You can't ignore me forever!

…………………………

Location: The Watchtower
Time: 11:50 pm

Diana: Ten minutes.

J'onn: Indeed.

Diana: We're out of popcorn.

…………………………….

Location: The Metrotower
Time: 11:52 pm

Barda: So on the count of three we'll…

Mr. Miracle:…

………………..

Location: The Batcave
Time: 11:55 pm

Bruce (on the phone): Barbara…shouldn't you be sleeping?

Barbara: Shouldn't you?

Bruce: They're not doing anything, just to let you know.

Barbara: Oh. (Disappointed)

………………………………..

Location: The Grayson home
Time: 11:56 pm

Dick: This is gonna be great!

Starfire: Sure. Great.

………………………

Location: Themyscira
Time: 11:57 pm

Hippolyta: Donna? What are you doing child?

Donna: Three more minutes. Three more minutes…

Hippolyta: (Throws up her hands in defeat.)

Donna: Three more minutes.

…………………………………

Location: The Watchtower
Time: 11:58 pm

Diana: Sniff

J'onn: Are you crying?

Diana: This part always gets me.

J'onn: 'Ogres are like onions'..?

Diana: Sniff. It's so sad.

………………………….

Location: The Kent home
Time: 11:59 pm

Clark: I swear to Heaven, my New Year's resolution to get Ollie and Wally back for all the shit they've pulled on me this year.

……………………………….

Location: The West home
Time: 12:00 am

Wally: Champagne?

Linda: Sure.

…………………..

Location: The Queen home
Time: 12:00 am

Ollie: ZZZzzzz…

Dinah: I can't believe you fell asleep.

…………………………

Location: The Stewart home
Time: 12:01 am

John:…?

Rex: Well…the world didn't blow up.

Shayera: (smiling)

John: Okay Shay…what did they do?

………………………

Location: The Szasz home
Time: 12:02 am

Helena: Well?

Vic:…

Helena: I know you're monitoring the League's security and comm. systems.

Vic: Nothing happened.

Helena: Give it a few more minutes.

Vic: No, if it was something big, we'd be hearing about it by now.

Helena: So…nothing?

Vic: Nothing.

Helena: Nada?

Vic: Nada.

Helena: So you got worked up for nothing?

Vic: It appears so.

Helena:…

Helena: Good night Vic.

Vic: Damn them.

……………………………….

Location: The Kent home
Time: 1:00 am

Lois (tiredly): Give it up Smallville. Nothing's going to happen.

Clark: I can't believe this!

Lois: You sound almost disappointed.

Clark: But I was so sure…

Lois (muttering in her sleep): They pulled one over you.

Clark: But I was a reporter! How could I…

Time: 2:00 am

Clark: That's it. No more Boyscout. This year I'm going to get them back.

…………………

Location: The Metrotower
Time: 3:00 am

Orion: That's it?

Barda: Damn.

Orion: I was hoping for a fight.

Mr. Miracle: Zzzzz….

…………………………………

Author's Chapter Announcement: Happy Belated New Year's. This is the end of this story. I will continue the next chapter in This Ain't the Golden Years II since this one is already at 40 chapters.

Squirrel Girl is a Marvel Character. She probably won't make any kind of cameo, I just couldn't think of another name for Clark to look at besides Zeta.