Me and sister wrote this, and it was fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it. It is a one shot so there wont be anymore because I'm busy with my other fanfiction, this is something I decided to do because it is different.
My sister wrote the character Doff parts, and yes she hates ffx-2 so on with the story enjoy!
I stand in a small room with a desk and a guy who is covered in a black cloak from head to toe, who is sitting in one of those I'm the all mighty boss chairs. He spins around in his chair facing me as I walk up to the desk. Oh yeah and also I'm in a black cloak so you can't see me.
"You know why you are here?" questions, well lets call him the big cloak guy, otherwise known as Bob.
"Well… actually no" I said. Bob slaps his head.
"Well you are here because we have heard of your talents" said Bob.
"Okay what is this about?" I asked.
"We are" begins Bob, he presses a red button on his desk but nothing happens.
"Right" I said as I begin to walk out the doors.
"We are the people of Square soft" said Bob.
"I thought you were called Square Enix" I said as I turn around. "And anyway I thought it was some Japanese guy in charge". I said. Bob looks nervous, but I know that there is something going on.
"Okay we are not them, but we stole their script, now do you want to direct this scene or not" said Bob. Okay so this was creepy, but I'm Habbo, I mean who wouldn't jump at the chance to direct something like this.
"Okay" I agreed.
Now lets skip all the boring parts and jump to the scene. I mean we all know what happens, Yuna is goody miss two shoes, Rikku is someone who you can't get away from, she's like a parasite seriously, and Paine has got this don't mess with me look, although maybe I can change that.
It turns out that I got the worst scene ever created, I'm really thinking that Square Enix have gone mad, I think they have got their drinks spiked or something like that.
Anyway now I'm on the upper level of the Cabin with Yuna and Brother is down with Barkeep.
"Okay and action!" I exclaim, Yuna walks to the railing, when Brother speaks.
"Oh I love Yuna, she's got a nice backside" sings Brother.
"Cut what was that!" I exclaim.
"Ha I have read the script, she gets with blondie, if I sing she will come to me" said Brother.
"Okay" I say slowly. I start writing and scribbling on the script. I smile to myself before handing to the crew off the set.
"Okay Brother you can sing" I say smiling to myself. Yuna looks really embarrassed. But yeah the script is fucked up anyway so...
As Brother sings Tidus charges in and starts pounding Brother, lots of school boys and girls come in and chant Fight. Don't ask me where they came from.
Yuna runs down the steps and pulls Tidus away from Brother and starts to make out with him. Rikku then comes into the room and sees the crowd.
"Hey is this a party!" exclaims Rikku as she jumps up and down.
"Nope" I said as I walk down the steps. "There was a fight" I said as me and Rikku look over to Brother to see him bruised and gasping for breath on the stall.
"This was my scene" complains Brother. Everyone ignores him as the school children leave because someone said about those Pokemon things. Mean while Yuna and Tidus are still making out.
Okay after a month of waiting for them to stop, yeah I know me and Rikku fell asleep, but I mean they've only been separated for two years.
They finally break apart.
"I never knew Yuna could get that horny" I said as I wake up because Rikku was poking me.
"Yeah horny Yunie! Horny Yunie!" exclaims Rikku as she dances around.
"Right anyway action!" I exclaim. Sex on the beach plays in the background.
"I want to have sex on the beach, horny Yunie" sings Rikku, Rikku sings with a high pitched voice adding in horny Yunie every so often. But the couple ignore her.
"Where did you go?" asks Yuna. Tidus is handed a piece of paper from a random guy.
"When I dissappeared, I reappeared in the ocean" said Tidus reading the paper. He is handed another one. "Then I got knocked over by a bus, knocking me out cold for two years" said Tidus.
"Psst it's Shoopuff not a bus, sorry that came from another movie" said the random guy.
"Or was it a Shoopuff" said Tidus mysteriously.
"I want to have sex on the beach with Horny Yunie" sings Rikku.
"Okay who spiked Rikku's drink?" asks Habbo. Habbo's sister comes in smiling evilly, she is also in a black cloak. I knew that this would be the end, my sister hates final fantasy, so lets call her D.O.F.F. Meaning Destroyer of final fantasy.
"No I think Rikku is totally sober and she really does wanna have sex on the beach with Yuna" says Doff with a sly smile. "And what sort of fucked up name is Doff!".
"Well you would say that wouldn't you, but the evidence is against you Rikku is holding an empty bottle, anyway what's wrong with DOFF?" asks Habbo as she snatches the bottle from Rikku.
"Hey! Horney Yunie help me, she took my bottle!" exclaims Rikku.
"Right I've had enough of this" says Doff as she pulls out an impressive gun and points it at all the cast "We are gonna do things my way" and as she says that an army of people walk up behind Doff, ready for Doff's commandments.
"Hey did you guys know you've got the wrong show this is Final Fantasy X-2 not the Matrix" says Habbo.
"Oh this isn't a show Habbo. Right, Yuna in this scene you're gonna kill Tidus. Rikku you're gonna smack Habbo and if you don't do that……KA-BOOM!" laughs Doff, while this was going on Rikku and the other Al behd on the ship were toying with everyone's weapons, making sure that they didn't have any ammo or any power. I on the other hand made sure that Paine had entered the scene.
"It's hurt time" said Paine as she began chopping down the army who were defenseless.
"Where's your army now?" I ask.
Paine goes to whack Doff but Doff stops her and throws her to the floor. "Oh Shit I better be off I gotta kill the teletubbies by 3 o'clock. Oh by the way.. Don't forget to read your mail" And with that Doff leaves and makes sure to step on Paine while she leaves.
"I got mail!" exclaims Brother. Rikku starts dancing again.
"I want sex on the beach, horny Yunie" sings Rikku. Paine heals herself using a potion and whacks Rikku over the head so she falls unconscience. I sigh and shake my head. Brother opens the mail to find a letter it reads.
"KA-BOOM!…he he….Luca, Dock 5, Midnight..Tidus and Rikku"
"She loves me!" exclaims Brother hugging the letter.
"Didn't she say Tidus and Rikku?" said Yuna.
"That's code for she loves me!" exclaims Brother.
"Oh boy" said Habbo.
"I'll meet her" said Brother. An evil smile appears on Habbo's face.
"Good luck" said Habbo.
We skip to midnight and Brother is at Luca at Dock 5
Doff comes towards Brother she is in a black travelling cloak and her hood covers her face- the hood is midnight purple.
"Where's Tidus and Rikku!" she sounds furious.
"I love you too!" exclaims Brother as he hugs her legs. At that moment Doff knees Brother in the chest and he keels over.
"A sign of our love" says Brother as he clutches his chest. At that moment I enter.
"Hey that's my job to hurt Brother!" I exclaim.
"Oh great a sister reunion. You do still know I want to extract your eyes from their sockets and shove them in your mouth so you have to swallow them? And I'm going by the way watch your mail" says Doff as she disappears. I know I'm going off track, okay I'm going crazy.
"I'm calling Bob" I announce to no one particular. I get out my mobile and call Bob.
"Yeah Bob… Yeah well I quit!" I exclaim walking off, leaving a Yuna and Tidus who doesn't know how he got here, a singing Rikku, and weird Paine and an even more weird Brother behind.
Now press your review button and tell me what you thought, if you think it's not funny I wont do any more funny stories like this one I'll stick to what I do best fluff and action.