Disclaimer: I own nothing. I really don't. Isn't that sad? pity me Any random characters you've never heard of… yeah, you could say I "own" them.

A/N: This and another story I've posted on this site are my first Janet Evanovich fanfics so please don't be too cruel in your merciless mocking. Oh yes, and if you're going to insult my writing ability (or lack thereof) please take the time to spell check first!

Chapter 1:
All I Could Think About

My name is Stephanie Plum. Around Trenton, New Jersey I'm a bit famous for all the wrong reasons. Everywhere I go I hear "I saw your picture in the paper, you blew up that funeral home". Well, if it helps my case at all, it really just wasn't my fault. Not entirely, anyway.

Currently, I'm working as a bounty hunter for my cousin, Vinnie, at his bail bonds company. I have been for quite a while, now, and I've been shot at, stalked, chased, kidnapped, and any other awful thing that may come to mind. Somehow, I keep coming back to this job. Maybe it's because I need to pay the rent. Mostly I think it's because you can never have too many Tastykakes.

I have two big headaches in my life. One is in the form of Joe Morelli, sexy cop extraordinaire. He's that slightly rugged, raw sex god that most people only dream about being with. I've got him, sometimes, but most of the time we're both confused as to what the hell we've got. Now happens to be one of those times.

My second headache is much more mysterious. Ranger Manoso, the incognito Latino that makes my loins tingle at the sound of his voice. I'm pretty sure he knows it, I'm pretty sure he thinks its funny, and I'm pretty sure that should qualify him as a jerk, but he's much too muscular for a title like that. He makes us mere mortals quiver in his wake.

"Any FTAs for me, today?" I asked Connie, the big-breasted and slightly mustached secretary to my cousin, Vinnie. Her clothes are always too tight, but guys don't complain because her cleavage makes the Grand Canyon look like just a crack in the ground.

"A couple, neither of them is all that impressive." I took the files from her. One was Mooner, a friend of mine that I would take down to the station whenever I decided to make my way over to his house for some pizza. He was a frequent customer here.

The other was Mike Friolli, an old guy who liked to try to rob convenience stories with different rubber farm animals. I spotted that this time it was a rubber cow.

That meant there was little to no chance of me getting shot at or raped while picking them up. Yes. I like not getting mutilated, it makes my day easy to handle.

From the glazed, slightly gaping look on Connie's face I new either Lula had walked in with donuts or Ranger had arrived. Turning around, I saw that both were true. Ranger walked in and I saw Lula fanning herself with her hand from behind him, holding a bag of donuts in the other. I held back a smile and Ranger said, "Yo."

I gave him a nod, not really sure if I opened my mouth anything but carbon dioxide and saliva would come out. Recently, Ranger gave me a job at his company, Rangeman, for "my own protection" and all that, but I refused to give up my job as a bounty hunter completely. It kept my life interesting.

Connie handed Ranger a few files. Those were the files I shuddered to think about. The ones with the scary murders and rapists in them. The ones Vinnie knew better than to give to me. I'd either find dead bodies (I was rather good at that) or I'd die in the process. Neither of those things is any good for anyone, really. Except those poor decaying bodies.

"I need to talk to you, outside," Ranger said, after he'd flipped through the files in his hand. His eyes met mine and for a moment I forgot to breathe. I nodded and, grabbing a donut from the now open bag on the desk, followed him outside. Lula gave me a wink and then stared most obviously at Ranger's butt as he walked out.

Ranger walked over to his shiny, black car and he leaned against it, staring at me with dark, impenetrable eyes. His gaze made me feel very much like I wasn't wearing any panties. I swallowed hard and tried to keep a straight face. "Are you still planning on working at Rangeman?"

"If I can, yes." As much as I hated to admit it, it was comforting to know that Ranger was protecting me. If there were something out there that wanted to kill me that was big and bad enough to get through Ranger, I'd be up at the great Bingo game in the sky with my Grandpa Mazur. However, I wasn't sure there was anything that indestructible. I had the distinct thought that Big Blue would fail me before Ranger would.

"You've got a job, but the apartment you'd been staying at is no longer available." This statement reminded me of a certain not-so-PG rated dream I'd had the other night. I shook those thoughts out of my head before I let them progress any further than necessary.

"I can stay at my apartment, that's sort of why I pay rent there." I shook my head with a smile. The fact I pay the rent there is why I was so desperate for a job in the first place. I like my apartment.

"I want you to have a place to stay at Rangeman. You can always stay in my apartment with me." I couldn't hide the uncomfortable feeling that settled somewhere near my liver. It made me kind of want to puke. Honestly, though, the heavy-duty surveillance was something that I had grown to love. Screw my pride; I felt that, at this point, I needed the protection. Just not the "I'll go out and have a life and you stay here and sit on your butt for hours on end or I'll have one of my men taser you" kind of protection. That protection was bull. Not protection at all. I am not a pet. Though I do have a pet, Rex. He's my hamster and my best non-humanoid friend.

"I could live there full-time?" Mental headslap. I hate it when I open my mouth and crap falls out before I can retrieve it, beat it, and throw it out.

Ranger seemed to be toying with the idea of a smile. Instead he just raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I suppose you could."

"Yes. That would be great." Is my brain even connected to my mouth anymore? My brain whimpered and wanted to kick my mouth and I'm not sure, but I think it tried.

"Ella will be glad to hear it," Ranger said and gave me a set of keys. I wanted to ask how he was so sure I'd agree to stay with him but I bit my tongue. Flipping through the keys, I recognized the keys to get into the office building and a few car keys that were bound to be from expensive, black cars of unknown origin. Ranger seemed to have an abundance of new cars that would make most people around these parts want to wet themselves.

"I miss Ella's cooking." Ranger smiled just slightly at that. "I miss your shower gel." He shook his head slowly from side to side. "You have orgasmic shower gel!"

He pulled me close to him and said in a deep whisper into my ear, "Is it the shower gel or the fact it reminds you of me?" I had the distinct urge to run. Or kiss him. Or have an orgasm on the spot. Most of all, I got the feeling that I had no idea what I was getting into.

--

Later that day I made my way to Ranger's seventh floor apartment in a sleepy, pizza-filled daze. Mooner had quite willingly made his contribution to my rent check by going in without a fight. Of course, we sat down and watched some TV first. And what is TV without pizza? And who is to judge whether or not beer enhances the taste of pizza? We decided we'd rather be safe than sorry.

I unlocked the door and went in. I'd forgotten what this place looked like. It was roomy and well decorated. It smelled of Ranger and it had been my home away from home a while ago, so I knew where everything was. I tossed my keys into the holder and threw my coat over the back of the chair.

Yawning widely, I made my way to the bedroom and walked in. "Hey Ranger," I said, seeing his frame standing by the dresser. It took me a few beats to realize he was only in a towel. I felt my heart start beating out of my chest but I tried to keep my cool. I suck at trying to keep my cool.

"Babe," he said, giving me a nod.

I closed my eyes so I couldn't see him anymore and felt my way past him using the bed. I finally reached the bathroom to take a quick shower. I could hear him laughing from the next room and I felt slightly angry that he found me so entertaining. However, going in there to say something to him would require seeing him nearly nude and I wasn't sure my poor heart was ready for that.

I did the shower thing with the incredibly sexy body wash (okay, so I have no will power, can you blame me? The stuff smells of a sexy, muscular Latino) and toweled my hair dry. I was much too lazy to actually do anything with it.

Walking into the bedroom in a towel seemed like the last thing I wanted to do, but I was not about to put my same clothes back on if I could help it. I swallowed the orange that seemed to have settled in my throat.

Ranger was lying on the bed, reading something but I couldn't focus my vision enough to figure out just what it was. His eyes flickered to mine and then made their way slowly down my body. Just being eyed up by Ranger was a sexual experience.

"I don't have any non work clothes to change into," I said, trying to ignore the pounding his gaze caused in the lower half of my body.

"Is that such a bad thing?" the tiniest hint of a smile played on his lips before he spoke again. "You can borrow some of my clothes until I have someone bring yours up."

The odd question of me not having any clean panties would have to be addressed tomorrow, too, because I couldn't bring myself to speak anymore. Turning around to face his dresser I opened the correct drawers to find myself a shirt and, hoping he may not notice even though I felt his gaze on me, I opened the top drawer to find that one silk pair of boxers lay folded there. I mumbled something and rushed off to the bathroom to change.

Pulling on his shirt and his boxers, I had time to think. Ranger had looked really good, hair tied back in a ponytail, chiseled muscles crying out for my touch. I shook my head. I had to stop letting him do this to me. I had some self-control, dammit. I think.

I stared at myself in the mirror. Damp curls hung down all around my face and my eyes made me look nearly as tired as I was. I gave myself a weak smile and turned to leave the bathroom.

Strolling into the bedroom, I realized that I really liked the feel of the silk boxers against my skin, the elastic of them sitting on my hips comfortably. He looked up again and smiled. "I like you in my clothes."

I offered a smile and turned back to the bathroom to grab my dirty laundry. I quickly walked out to put my things next to my jacket; I covered them up with it so as to avoid drawing any unwanted attention to my undergarments.

I made my way back to the bedroom around the bed, to my side of it. My side? I had a side? Oh Lord. Having a side of the bed was almost like commitment. Wait. Commitment… with Ranger? Who was I kidding?

I slipped under the covers and stared over at Ranger whose gaze was already meeting mine. I swallowed hard. He set down the folder he'd been reading absent-mindedly and kissed my forehead before turning over on his side, away from me. A kiss on the forehead?

"You didn't even yell at me for wearing your silk boxers," I said, feeling the need to talk to him. I didn't talk to all that many people lately and I was in need of some companionship. My hamster was still at Joe's and I was much too stubborn to go pick him up.

Ranger turned back around, a smile evident on his face. "Why are you wearing my silk boxers?"

Urm. To tell the truth or not to tell the truth? "I… urr. I don't have any clean clothes." I decided to be subtle. It's not as horrible to say to him that way. I blushed a deep shade of crimson and he smiled full on this time. His hands reached out for my hips under the covers and pulled me close to him. He kissed me full on the lips and I, being female and all that, couldn't stop myself from kissing him back. He pulled away and I mentally kicked myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stop that.

"You can wear my clothes any time you want," he said in a husky voice. I gazed into his eyes and felt the lust building inside me. So maybe I have no self-control but his half-naked body was looking incredibly delicious.

However, he turned back over. I let out a tiny whimper, mentally begging him to turn back over. I said nothing. I just stared at him.

Nothing else happened after he turned over. We both knew why, too. All I could think about was Joe.