Disclaimer: I don't own anything
AN: My beta, Krow x, and I, thought that the first chapter should be more angsty. So he fixed it up and this version, in my eyes, is way better. Enjoy!
The lazy morning sun shone brightly through a small battered window onto the small form of a sleeping boy. Uzumaki Naruto cracked open one eye and looked sadly around his small sunlit apartment. 'Why should I even bother getting up?'
Lately the pressure of simply existing was becoming too much and his cheerful façade had started to slip. After all his team hated him, his sensei was indifferent to his presence and certainly the village hated him and never held back from making sure he knew that.
With a sigh he got out of bed and crossed over to the tiny bathroom sink. Looking at his reflection in the mirror above he searched his face, it was the face of a much older person who had endured too much and his eyes, usually a vibrant blue and full of life were dull and missing their sparkle. The bags and dark shadows beneath his eyes a testament to the nightmares that had plagued him since he was tiny.
"I hate you"
His reflection just repeated the words to him silently as a single tear slid down a whisker marked cheek. It didn't matter how hard he tried no-one but Iruka seemed to care if he was around.
'Maybe they're right………maybe I really am nothing and never will be'. With a depressed sigh he went through his normal morning routine but paused at the slim battered wardrobe.
'Orange always orange, I hate orange but they were cheap and no-one cares what a demon wears anyway' sadly donning the usual orange jumpsuit he went to his small kitchen area to make breakfast.
'Damn, to think no-one even notices that I only eat Ramen because it's all I can afford' he laughed hollowly at that though 'of course they don't notice, that's why you've hidden it all this time dobe, you didn't want their pity or charity'. Naruto knew he had a larger than normal appetite (unless you were an Akimichi) probably due to the damn fox sealed in his navel, but there was no way he could afford three steak dinners a night so he made do with an overabundance of Ramen.
He dragged his feet out the front door not bothering to lock it and carefully put his cheerful mask in place. Today it seemed harder than ever to push the hurt and depression down past his knees and into his feet.
Grin in place he made his way through the village trying to ignore the insults, the hateful glares and avoiding the occasional gob of spit or other projectile sent his way he arrived at the bridge where Team 7 met every morning. Each glare and insult caused a tiny crack in today's mask and he was fighting hard with himself to keep it from crumbling altogether.
"Hey Sakura-chan!...Sasuke-teme"
'Well they're obviously pleased to see me' another larger crack in the mask as his team-mates ignored his presence completely.
Sighing bitterly he steeled himself, grin on full power and walked over to his pink-haired team-mate who was talking to an obviously bored Sasuke.
"Hey Sakura-chan, lets go get some Ramen, Kakashi-sensei probably won't be here for hours yet."
Sakura turned slowly to glare at Naruto who stood there grinning stupidly, hands on hips.
"Naruto why can't you just go away, Sasuke-kun and I are talking and we don't need your stupid comments."
She emphasized the word stupid as Sasuke smirked at him, before turning to look at the water running beneath the bridge.
'Yeah that's a great conversation you're having Sakura, the ice prince is hanging off your every word' Naruto's mask cracked a little more, again he gathered himself together but it was so hard now. Drawing a deep breath he took a confident stance and pointed at his raven haired rival.
"Sasuke! I challenge you……come fight me"
Sasuke turned to look at him and sneered.
"Why should I waste my time on a dead-last loser like you? You're too weak to be a challenge"
"WHAT!...bastard I'll be Hokage someday and then-"
"You…..Hokage…..Tch you'll never be Hokage, you've always been a dead last who'll never be anything but a loudmouth pain in the ass"
Nodding at each of Sasuke's comments Sakura continued to glare at Naruto before adding her own tirade.
"Yeah, Sasuke-kun's right, no-one likes you, you don't have any friends and I'm surprised you even graduated the academy now go away"
Naruto's careful mask shattered irretrievably into tiny pieces and to Sasuke and Sakura's surprise Naruto's scowl and loud behaviour suddenly disappeared.
"You're right" Naruto murmured sadly before turning and running off back towards his apartment building leaving a slightly shocked pair of genin on the bridge.
It didn't take long before Sakura turned her attention back to her beloved Sasuke but, a tiny quiet part of each of them was slightly worried at their loud team-mate's out of character behaviour moments ago. Had they finally gone too far?
Naruto stopped running when he got to his roof. He stood there for a while staring up at the faces on the Hokage monument, particularly that of the Fourth.
'To think all these years I've been wasting my time thinking I could measure up to you. Well I've had it with these people I can't take it anymore…'
"No more……..it's time to end the cycle" he said clearly speaking to the Fourth, two teardrops slowly creeping down his whiskered cheeks.
Dropping down into his window taking a length of rope which was coiled in a corner of the roof, with him he'd made his decision.
Meanwhile at the bridge…….
"YO!" Kakashi poofed onto the bridge one hand raised in apology "Sorry I'm l-" he trailed off as he noticed only Sakura was screaming 'Liar' at him. "where's Naruto?" it wasn't like him not to be there, even if he was ill he'd be there. Naruto took being a ninja very seriously.
Sasuke just grunted and continued to look bored.
"Who cares" Sakura replied keeping her eyes fixed on Sasuke "we had an argument and he ran off towards home"
Kakashi sighed, he wished these two would cut Naruto a little slack and that Naruto wouldn't keep antagonising them.
"Well we need him we can't do missions without the whole team so let's go get him"
The two genin rolled their eyes before following their sensei towards Naruto's apartment block.
Naruto carefully knotted the rope making sure to copy one particular knot that a villager had threatened him with in the past.
'I guess I'm just a mistake and if I die everyone will be happy, no more Kyuubi. Iruka will probably be sad, but he'll soon forget about me and he won't have to waste his money buying me Ramen anymore'.
He looped one end of the rope over a hook in the ceiling that he usually hung some of his training equipment on before climbing onto his wooden chair and putting the rope around his neck.
'This is it …..goodbye' and he kicked the chair away from under his feet.
"This is it." Kakashi stopped in front of a door.
"Let's just get the dobe and go, we're wasting time." Sasuke said as Kakashi opened the unlocked door. As the door opened the first thing they saw was Naruto...hanging.
"NARUTO!" Kakashi rushed forward with a kunai and cut the rope. Naruto fell to the floor gasping, tears streaming down his face as he slowly got up to his knee's.
"WHY?...YOU SHOULD'VE LEFT ME TO DIE" Naruto's voice was hoarse and cracked on the last word.
Sakura had tears in her eyes, shocked and unable to comprehend why Naruto would do something like this. How could he be in so much pain that he'd try and kill himself? He was the most cheerful upbeat person she knew.
Sasuke's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Did Naruto suffer that much? Why? How? He too couldn't understand.
Kakashi was hurt, deeply hurt to know that one of his own students, one of his now precious people, that he thought he knew, didn't want to live.
"Go away, leave me here. I can't stand it anymore, you don't know how it feels to have everyone DESPISE you" Naruto screamed as tears continued to blur his vision. 'I can't live, I have to end it now'
Naruto grabbed the kunai from Kakashi's limp grasp and was about to stab himself in the heart something the Kyuubi wouldn't be able to heal fast enough if his aim was true.
Recovering from the shock, Kakashi quickly chopped Naruto on the back of his neck knocking him out.
"Go home……. now." Kakashi snapped at Sasuke and Sakura who stood speechless as he picked up Naruto and disappeared.
Sasuke and Sakura only had one thought going through their mind as they turned and walked down the dirty hallway.
'I was wrong...'
Hope you liked it. I did.