Intro: Hmm... The end part leans a bit towards the graphic side, sorry if it offends anyone, but it had to come that way.
This chapter is focused on a school day with Karin and Yuzu. They're having sex ed today. So, guess who the teacher will be?
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, would I be here writing FANfiction?
Kurosaki Karin, and Kurosaki Yuzu. Who would imagine that they were sisters, let alone twins? The pair of them were as different as one could expect. One was a model daughter, taking over the role of the maternal figure in their departed mother's absence, quiet, calm although slightly clueless, while the other took after her brother, a hardened badboy who had bashed up every guy in her class more than once. But, they were twins, and consequently, were in the same class at school. That was where they were today, sitting in class, awaiting the arrival of their new teacher.
Sex-ed had always been a touchy subject at home, because their father was a medical practioner, (one who belonged in the mental institute, but a doctor nonetheless), and well, he just didn't open up about the subject that much, proclaiming that it was too 'early for his precious daughter and the tomboy to learn of'. That remark had earned him a kick in the face from the 'tomboy'. Still, their school had no problems with enlightening their class to the powerful facts of life. All they needed was parents' permission. This would have been rather simple with most parents, but not with Kurosaki Isshin. Like aforementioned, he belonged in a mental asylum, so it was a bit more problematic to coax his permission out of him. In the end, the required signature was forged by an indifferent orange-haired brother, who really had no idea what his sisters were getting him to sign, heck, he didn't even know what year they were in.
Now, the two sisters were sitting in the room, waiting with bated breath, like their many classmates, for this new teacher to arrive. The previous teacher entrusted with this life-changing subject had taken a year-long holiday, due to 'stress' or some other ridiculous excuse, and a substitute had thankfully been arranged. Rumour had it that he was even bringing a life sized model for the children to learn from.
"Come ON! Stupid bitch. Hurry up, we're 3 seconds late as it is." A squeaky voice, difficult to determine whether it belonged to a man or a woman, was approaching the door. His colourful language sparked the interest of some of the more rebellious members of the class. No teacher who had adorned their sentences with these 'sentence enhancers' had ever proved to be dull. Unfortunately, they had proven to be short-lived, often losing their job for some unknown reason a few weeks after.
The door was flung open, and an abomination walked in. He looked very out of place, with his white shirt, stained with what one would have hoped was blood, but was actually something more sinister. Even stranger was his makeup. If it was a he, which most class members were still trying to figure out. He looked more like a clown, with the majority of his face painted black, and a skeletal white outline around it. Then there was his large, one-sided hat, which stuck out obnoxiously to the right. In his shadow, walked someone who the class was certain was a girl. If she wasn't, then the boys trying to get a glance up her abnormally short skirt would be in for a shock.
"Alright little brats. I'm Kurotsuchi Mayuri and I'm going to be your teacher for this sexual education crap." A few kids were now whispering amongst the rows of tables, sharing their impressions of this lunatic. Mayuri's enhanced ears caught onto every word. "You there! Who just said I looked like a freak, want me to dip you in a pot of acid?" The child in question froze, and paid much more attention than she had before.
"Um... Mayuri-sama, they're just chi-"
"Who the hell asked for your opinion, idiot? Now SHUT UP and don't EVER interrupt me like that again." He backhanded her forcefully across the face, slamming her into the blackboard. A few screams erupted from the class. "Now that goes for all of you little maggots, you hear?"
Mayuri looked at the textbook he was supposed to be teaching out of. Inside were various colourful diagrams, detailed and labelled so that he could teach efficiently. "What is this crap?" He threw the volume at Nemu, who obligingly let it smack into her before getting up and dropping it lightly into the bin. "Okay then, we'll start with the breasts. Because I just felt like doing it there. Nemu, in front of the desk now." As his daughter obediently positioned herself in front of Mayuri's desk, he screeched at her. "Not so that you BLOCK my view you idiot woman!" Nemu moved to the side, bowing and muttering her apologies. Mayuri was about to begin his demonstration when his eyes narrowed on two boys who were looking at something under the table. Mayuri howled, and his hand tugged at his ear, ripping a hook like appendage out. He flung it out, and it landed on the table, skewering the table and the games magazine beneath it. Their screams were drowned out by the teacher's own shouts. "DID I NOT TELL YOU TO PAY ATTENTION, YOU SCUM?!"
Now, everyone in the room was staring at Mayuri, out of fright, their eyes wide open and fearing what he would do next. "Now, the breasts. These come in all sorts of sizes, and strangely enough, shapes as well. Nemu here has a pathetically flat chest, but that's because otherwise she wouldn't be of much use with two watermelons bouncing around on her front. People with large breasts look something like this…" He nodded his head at Nemu, who blushed and hesitated, resting a hand on her chest. Mayuri lost his patience at this point. "Dammit woman! Get your mouth on there and BLOW before I come and do it myself! Stupid bitch." How he HATED his stupid daughter sometimes. It was no big deal, put her goddamn mouth on the hole and blow. He had designed her so that she could inflate her boobs. There had been no real reason behind it, the inventor had just been in the mood when he designed her upper body.
The class gasped and several boys started having nosebleeds as, before their eyes, Nemu's boobs grew, reaching Matsumoto-proportions within about 30 seconds. "Took you long enough, now let that air out before I barf." Okay, now the kids had seen the things, but they needed to be taught about them. "Does anyone know what those things are for then?" No one ventured an answer. "Dumbshits," he spat. "When a man and a woman have screwed each other and not been careful, they get a baby, you know, how each and every one of you maggots was spawned. That little thing needs to feed on something, so it sucks juice out from the breasts. That's basically what you need to know. Don't know why you really need to know though, most of you are still as flat as a surfboard. Hit puberty or something already." Mayuri's grumbling ended here though, as he had just discovered a wonderful testing opportunity. "Actually, for you little maggots, I have a special idea. I developed these artificial breasts some time ago, but haven't managed to test them yet. Easy to slip on, a whole range of sizes, from A to K, even variable, inflatable ones. Softness can vary from cushiony to metallic, and milk content can be customised as well. I'll bring a few in tomorrow or something. And you try them on." He wasn't giving them a choice in the matter. Especially the boys, since they weren't ever going to get them, they might as well invest in artificial ones.
"Um… Mayuri-sama… the lesson…"
"Shut up bitch! You think I don't know?"
"You sure don't act like you know." A deathly silence followed. Karin had stood up, pointing an accusatory finger at Mayuri. "What the HELL is wrong with you, you old freak? You abuse that girl like she's just some stuffed animal, and treat us like we're some sort of lab rats. What sort of a screwed up teacher are you?"
Yuzu tugged at her sister's pants, whispering for her to calm down. "Karin-chan, please calm down. Don't make the crazy man angry."
Mayuri's eyes narrowed, and his robotic arm shot out, grabbing a strand of Karin's hair and placing it in his mouth. "Hmm… Kurosaki… you're that orange headed bastard's sister?" He remarked after the DNA test was complete. "No wonder you're such a pain in the ass." Ignoring the outburst, as if it had never happened, Mayuri returned to his lesson.
"Nemu. Cervix. Now." Nemu climbed onto the table, rather uncomfortable with the situation. The rest of the sexual organs would require… well…
"I said… NOW!" The scientist angrily grabbed a hold of Nemu's skirt, ripping it off to reveal her bare legs and the said region that he was about to study. Members of the class could stare as their teacher examined his fingers, especially the middle finger on his right hand, which had a sinisterly long fingernail on it. Mayuri attached a small device to the fingernail, and then turned the projector in the classroom on. Half the class covered their eyes, the other half screamed when he plunged his middle finger into her body through the said organ. The screen crackled to life as the finger made its way up the system, capturing the insides of Nemu.
Mayuri cackled and began a long winded, horrifically detailed and gruesome report on the parts of the body and what role they had in sexual reproduction. He didn't stop there though. He was, after all, a genius madman. He also went on to explain the differences he had found in organs of different species that he had studied over the years, information that both bored and freaked out the children of the class. After a painful 3 hours, he withdrew his finger, and the class ended. Karin and Yuzu left the room silently at the end of the day, each guessing the other's thoughts. This was one day at school they were not going to forget, no matter how hard they tried.
"Karin-chan, what are we going to tell Daddy when he asks us about our day at school?"
"Nothing. We are not telling that bastard about this bastard."
"Then, we should probably make up something up to tell him shouldn't we?"
"You do it Yuzu, I want to ask Ichi-nii something." The freak and his fingernail had known her brother somehow. Did it have to do with the black robed version of her brother she often saw running around? Was that maniac… somehow connected with her brother? She had to find out.
Ichigo called out lazily when he heard the knock on his door that night. "Who is it?" When the knocker entered, Ichigo raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Karin eh? What do you want?"
Stuff: Well? Comments, suggestions? Wasn't so sure about the ending, so, if it was too stupid, shoot me or something. Also, ideas for who to feature next, and as what, would be nice. Next might be... Byakuya, if I can get around to it.