The Graduates

By Somebody's Angel

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

……………………

Seth and Summer laid the wreckage of the box which had contained Summer's graduation gift. Though it had seemed huge when they were both standing over it, the damn thing was by no means big enough for two, let alone two people intent on celebrating their love. Seth had pushed the bottom of the box out with his head, so the cardboard collapsed over the two of them, then Summer had ripped the side when she arched against Seth's tongue on her body.

Slowly the couple came back down from their endorphin high, their heart rates decelerating and body temperatures returning to normal, mingled sweat cooling on their skin. Summer sought Seth's right hand in her left and laced her fingers between his. He grinned and slowly opened his eyes, turning his head to look over at her. Her eyes were still closed but a small lazy smile played at the corners of her mouth.

"That was amazing Jay," he said quietly, his voice rough due to the strain his shouts of pleasure had caused minutes earlier.

She hummed softly in agreement and rolled towards him, throwing her leg over his hips and draping her arm across his chest. "Cohen, the woman that taught you how to do that-" she gestured with her hand in reference to what they had just done, "-deserves a medal. A Nobel prize even," she finished earnestly, nuzzling his neck.

Seth barked out laughter. "Um, I don't think they have a category for something quite like that Jay," he drawled, dropping a kiss on the top of her head, his hand moving back and forth on her thigh, the other still holding hers between them.

"Well, they should," she replied adamantly, her fingers lightly scratching the 'treasure' trail of hair below his bellybutton and kissed his jaw. "Trust me."

"You just want an award," he murmured, smiling into her hair; the silky strands tickled his nose and its sweet scent tickled his senses.

"I'm a great teacher, aren't I?" she replied rolling onto him, causing him to emit an exaggerated grunt. She heard it and shot him a glare. "Oh, come on! I'm not that heavy."

He rolled his eyes. "No, you're not heavy at all," he agreed, tracing her pouting lips. "You have really pointy hip bones."

She feigned shock at his words and tickled his ribs. He giggled like a little boy and squirmed to get away but found he was trapped underneath her. He tried to pull off her assaulting hands but Summer was too fast and avoided him easily.

"S-Summer, s-s-stop," he begged, turning a cute shade of pink and trying now to roll her off but she wouldn't give.

"Stop what?" she asked innocently, loving the sound of his giggles. She let up briefly then went in again.

"No, don't!" he managed now howling laughter that caused tears to spring in his eyes. "D-don't! Ssstop!"

"'Don't stop'? Okay!"

"No Summer, stop it please! Uncle!" he gasped out.

She finally slid her hands up to rest on his pecs. "Alright, but only if I can have a kiss," she grinned, her chin on hands.

He nodded and smiled, panting to catch his breath. Holding her face in his hands he raised his head to meet her lips. "You're cruel."

She giggled against his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Yeah, but you love it, and you know it."

"Yeah," he agreed quietly with a fond smile, laying his head back using her forearms like a pillow and tucked her hair behind her ear.

Their lips met again in a slow and sensuous kiss this time. He suckled her lower lip, biting it tenderly then soothed the bite with his tongue. Summer sighed and deepened the kiss, angling her head so she could further probe into Seth's mouth. He moaned softly and ran the tip of his tongue over her front teeth before tangling his tongue with hers and gently sucking it. Her fingers pushed into his thick hair, tugging lightly and her hips started to grind into him. His hands slid over her body, his fingertips delicately brushing from her upper arms to her shoulders, all the way down her back then he cupped her butt in his palms.

Keeping one hand on her butt and moving the other to the back of her neck, Seth rolled the two of them over so he was on top, never breaking the kiss.

"Ow! Something's poking me." Summer broke it, however, and pushed him off her, reaching behind her to extract her jeans from their place between the floor and her back.

Seth looked at her strangely, wondering how clothing could poke her; as far as he was aware, jeans didn't have any hard or sharp edges.

Summer ran her hands over the fabric until she found the source of the discomfort – the box in the pocket of her jeans. She'd taken it out of her purse when they arrived back at the Cohen house, because she wanted to have it with her wherever they ended up. Looking up at her boyfriend, she attempted to wipe the smirk off his face by throwing his own jeans at him.

Seth simply pulled the pants off his head as he shook it, still smirking at her.

"Get dressed."

Sure, enough, the sharp command was more than enough to erase the grin from Seth's face, as he wondered what he had done wrong to disallow him more 'naked action'. "What-why?"

"Because a) your parents are home and we left the door unlocked and b) I want to give you something, but I refuse to do it while we're both naked." She already had her bra and jeans on, and was searching the room with her eyes in an attempt to find her top.

"How about I stay naked, and you get dressed?" Seth asked, making no move to put on any of the clothing Summer was piling in his lap, "It's more fun to undress you anyway."

"No. We both need to be dressed." She replied shortly, finally spotting her shirt on top of the life-size Little Miss Vixen cut-out standing in the corner. "You know, getting dressed would be a lot easier if you didn't throw my clothes across the room."

Seth smiled and stood up to pull on his jeans. "Yeah, but then I wouldn't get to watch you walk around naked looking for them."

"Oh, so it's purely for your own enjoyment," She stated knowingly.

"Yup. But then again, it wasn't me who got my boxers tangled in the light fixture that one time, was it?"

Summer blushed as she finished tying the bows that held her top on her shoulders. She had no answer for that one. While it was fun sorting their clothes from the pile they formed by stripping slowly, it was so much more enjoyable watching a bare-assed Seth search for his clothes all over the room – unlike Summer, Seth insisted on having all his clothing together before he started getting dressed.

"Okay, Miss Roberts, I'm dressed." Seth did up his fly and button with a flourish, then plopped down on the bed next to his girlfriend. "So what do you have to give me?"

"Your graduation present." She handed over the object that had jabbed her in the back.

Seth took it hesitantly – it looked suspiciously like a ring box – and looked into her eyes. "This isn't…you don't want to…already?"

Summer just rolled her eyes at his ramblings, though she understood him perfectly. "No, it's not an engagement ring – you are so doing your own damn proposing. It's a commitment ring."

She opened the box and handed it back to him, exposing the platinum band. There were two stones embedded into the metal; a bright blue turquoise and a lime green peridot. "Our birthstones," Seth breathed, the words barely audible, but both occupants of the room heard them.

"Look inside," she murmured, and he tilted the ring to see the inscription; 'undeniable'.

"Omigod Summer, it's amazing."

"I know we've talked about not knowing what's in store for us in the future and all that, but I just wanted you to know that I'm committed to figuring out whatever we have together. And it's going to be hard over the next few months when we're separated, but I believe we can get through it if we're both dedicated to one another." Summer wasn't normally one for the big speeches about feelings and plans, but she needed to let him know exactly how she felt about their future.

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

"Summer I…" Seth was speechless for a few seconds; unable to fathom how the girl of his dreams had come up with the exact promise he had been wracking his brain with, trying to figure out a way to bring it up without freaking her out. "…I love you…so much."

He leaned in and kissed her, a soft, sweet kiss that simply screamed 'romantic and loving'.

"I have something for you also," Seth said when he broke the kiss, leaning over her to open the top drawer of his bedside table.

Enclosed in the maroon velvet pouch was the final charm for her charm bracelet; a tiny silver tiara, complete with miniscule diamond.

"It represents our two proms; junior and senior." Seth explained, twisting her wrist to find the perfect spot to hang the charm. "Both of them started with heartache and ended with us back together again, so I reckon they're pretty important in our relationship." He finally found the space he was looking for; in between the cup that signalled their coffee cart rendezvous and the horse that represented their mutual love for the plastic horses that had been their companions through their early years. He affixed the charm and slowly counted the platinum ornaments, until he reached twelve; the interlinked hearts that occupied pride of place over Summer's pulse point.

"I love it, and I love you." She said, trapping the charm between their index fingers before moving her hand further up to encircle his wrist. She pulled him down on top of her, linking her hands behind his neck as she brought his head down to hers.

Before they could get too into it, however, a knock on the door pulled them apart. "Seth? Summer?" Sandy's voice was more serious than Seth had heard in a long time, and he instantly sat up, bringing his girlfriend with him.

"Yeah dad?"

Sandy didn't wait for an invitation in, opening the door as soon as he received acknowledgment that the two teens were inside the room. His face was as grave as his tone, and the fact that Kirsten accompanied him told Seth and Summer that the news was bad.

"What is it?" Seth's voice was low and soft; in fact he almost whispered the words, he was so afraid of the answer they would receive.

Summer had never personally experienced the Kirsten-Sandy double-team, yet the expressions on their faces were similar to the one that had adorned her father's face when he had told her her mother was gone for good. Her grip on Seth's hand tightened when Sandy took a visibly calming breath before he started speaking.

"There was…an accident. The car was…went off the road…" Sandy stumbled over the explanation, unsure exactly how to say it.

"Ryan? And Marissa, are they OK?" Seth asked, moving a hand to join his other one and Summer's two in her lap.

"Ryan's OK. A couple broken ribs, a concussion, some cuts and bruises. Marissa…"

Kirsten stepped in when her husband trailed off, her voice steady despite the tears filling her eyes. "She didn't make it, honey."

For a second Seth was confused about who his mother had called 'honey' – him or Summer. He felt Summer crumple beside him at the same time as the rest of her words hit him. Marissa was gone…dead. He turned to his girlfriend but saw that his mother had beaten him to the punch, and the two women were crying in one another's arms. Keeping a hand on Summer's back to reassure her that he was still there, he turned his attention to his father, "Does Ryan know? Where is he?"

"She was gone before the ambulance arrived. Ryan pulled her out of the car and held her in his arms. He's still at the hospital. They want to keep him overnight for observation; concussions are tricky, apparently."

Seth nodded solemnly, still unable to fathom how everything could have gone so wrong so quickly. Just two hours ago the four of them had been laughing and reminiscing about when Ryan had first come to town. They were all four headed their separate ways, but secure in the knowledge that Newport would always bring them back together. Now everything had changed.

The shrill ring of a cellphone cut into the moment, and Sandy answered a phone Seth recognised as his mother's. The fog enveloping his head prevented Seth fro hearing the conversation, but when Sandy came back into sight a few minutes late his face was apologetic.

"It's Julie," the older man announced to the room, "She's hysterical."

Summer clung to Seth as Kirsten extracted herself from the teen's embrace, her face also remorseful.

"She's my best friend, Cohen." Summer murmured as Seth's parents exited the room.

"I know." His voice was just as quiet as hers, and he didn't attempt to offer any insincere platitudes about how she still had him – they both knew the bond they shared was entirely different to that they shared with their respective best friends. Seth didn't even try to understand how she was feeling, knowing that words couldn't express any of the pain she was currently experiencing.

They sat side by side on the bed, hands clasped tightly in between them, allowing the news to sink in properly.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

Suddenly tears appeared in Summer's eyes again, and she pushed Seth onto his back, straddling his hips. "Please Cohen. I need you to take it away. You need to take the pain away." She lowered her lips to his, and he kissed her for a moment before pulling back.

"No Summer, not like this." He tried to sit up, but her little hands on his chest forced him to remain flat on his back.

"Please Seth," her voice dropped to a whisper, "I've never felt as peaceful as I do when you make love to me."

He kissed her without another protest; she had never before used those words to describe it, and he knew that she was telling the truth.

He rolled them over gently, refusing any attempt to speed things up; she wanted lovemaking, she would get it.

The tears stayed in her eyes but, mercifully, none escaped her lashes while he was above her, and it was only when he collapsed on top of her that she allowed them to fall once again; the brilliance of her orgasm removing all her self-control. She clung to him as if he would leave her like her best friend did, leaving deep nail marks that would serve as a reminder of this dreadful day for weeks to come.

When she finally allowed him to move his weight off her and take her into his arms, she released no more sobs. Her tears still fell, dampening his chest and the sheets underneath them, but these were silent.

"I love you Seth, so much." Her voice was barely audible, and though her words said she was speaking to him, the tone of her voice said she was speaking to herself. "Don't ever leave me." She finally succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep, the emotional and physical exertion more than her body could handle.

Seth whispered reassurances into her hair, more for his own benefit than for hers. "I won't ever leave you Summer, I promise." Each new breath he took hurt a little more and he knew he couldn't keep the stoic façade up much longer. Marissa was his friend too, and although he was nowhere near as close to her as either his girlfriend or his best friend, he felt the loss as well.

Finally the dam broke, and Seth's own tears cascaded down his cheeks.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. The summer after they graduated was supposed to be happy; it was supposed to be filled with laughter and jubilation. He had seen it somewhere in his mind's eye: he and Summer and Marissa and Ryan would smile and laugh and Summer would whoop and kiss him again and again, tell him to concentrate on the here and now and forget about the future. Ryan and Marissa would agree that they loved one another, and that almost-forgotten look of absolute happiness would wash across Ryan's face.

All that happiness was gone now.

Seth cried for Marissa; for the pain her death had caused the two most important people in his life; for the future sadness he knew they would all face on such days as her birthday; for Summer, who had lost the most consistent person of her whole life; for Ryan, who had lost the woman he loved, for Julie and Kaitlin who had lost their daughter, sister. He tried to understand what Ryan was feeling by imagining how he would have felt if the person lost was Summer, but the pain that stabbed through his heart quickly ended that comparison. He imagined how he would have felt if it was his best friend who had died, but the thought of losing Ryan was almost as heart-wrenching as losing Summer.

He cried himself to sleep, knowing that in the morning he would need to be strong for Ryan and Summer, allow them to lean on him while they dealt with pain that he couldn't imagine.

……………………

The next morning both Seth and Summer were awoken by the sun streaming through the uncovered window. Summer smiled at the wall, and snuggled further into Seth's warmth. It was only when she went to close her eyes that she felt the itchiness which resulted from falling asleep crying.

Dread crept up her throat as she raised her eyes to meet Seth's. His chocolate orbs were also red rimmed, and from the sorrow in his eyes she knew that it hadn't been a dream – her best friend really was gone. She pulled away from him abruptly, sitting straight up as tears filled her eyes once again.

Seth's heart broke as he observed Summer fall apart for the third time; and this time she refused his efforts to pull her back into his arms. He recognised Independent Summer immediately, but his heart wouldn't allow him to simply sit there and watch her in agony. He offered as much comfort as he could through his expression, even as he held out his arms once more.

She turned away and got out of bed, almost tripping over the box in the middle of the room in her haste to get to the bathroom. He remained stationary, deciding to allow her the space of showering alone; he believed she would come to him when she was ready to accept his consolation.

He contemplated going downstairs to get some breakfast for the two of them; he knew Summer wouldn't want to be submitted to the pity that would no doubt be in his parents' eyes, yet neither did he want to leave her alone knowing the fragile state she was currently in. A knock on the door brought him out of the deliberation, and his mother solved his dilemma by appearing in the doorway bearing a tray with bagels and coffee.

Thankfully Kirsten didn't try to engage him in conversation before she left the room; it turned out grief was a really effective way to shut Seth Cohen up. He had absolutely nothing to say; no joke would lighten in the situation, and no wisecrack was appropriate. His entire consciousness was focused on the running water in his ensuite and the grieving woman standing under it.

He drank his coffee and stared at the food; he wasn't hungry either. Moving miniscule crumbs around with a forefinger, he wondered how he was going to help Summer and Ryan get through this. No doubt Ryan would barricade himself from the world, blaming everyone but Marissa and speaking in grunts and Looks. Summer's reaction was a quandary; he hadn't been in her life when her mother left, and he had no other basis of comparison to how she would respond to such a loss. Seth was unsure whether she would shut down or flare up – her rage issues provided a strong case for the latter, but her reluctance to voice her feelings led him to believe she might shut everyone out. And he was clueless how to help them; if they pushed him away how would he show them that he still cared? On the other hand, would he be able to handle it if Summer latched onto him, for fear of losing him as well? Not that she would ever lose him, but he of all people knew how irrational she could become when she was emotional – 'irrational' and 'emotional' were pretty synonymous when it came to most women.

The shower continued to run in the background, and Seth became concerned – though she always took forever to get ready, Summer didn't really spend a lot of time actually in the shower when alone, preferring to take a bath when she wanted to relax. It was unusual for her to spend more than half an hour with the water running, so when the clock ticked over 45 minutes Seth followed her into the bathroom.

She hadn't even progressed to stripping off her clothes.

If Seth's heart had broken at the sight of her anguish before, it shattered when he saw her sitting on the floor of the shower, fully clothed, wracked with sobs.

He immediately joined her, enveloping her shivering form in his arms. "Geez it's freezing!" He exclaimed when feeling the water soak through his clothes and into his skin. Reaching up and turning on the hot water, Seth moved Summer's limp form into his lap, rubbing her arms to bring the pink back into her skin.

There were no words spoken – nothing Seth could have said would make her feel any better, so he used his better judgement and stayed quiet. Summer clutched him to her, taking the comfort that he offered.

With the water running over them as cover, Seth couldn't help but let his tears fall once again, in an attempt to rid himself of as much of his own sorrow as he could, so he would be better able to help Summer and Ryan with theirs later in the day.

Despite the hot water, Summer noticed that the streaks cascading down Seth's face were eerily similar to her own, and she took solace in the fact that he too was feeling the loss. Obviously she didn't expect him to feel as she felt, but the knowledge that he would also miss her was a great solace.

………………

A week later Summer still hadn't said a word. Not to Seth, not to Ryan, not to anyone.

She functioned…barely.

She ate when Seth put food in front of her, but she never cleaned her plate. She dressed in the clothes Seth laid out for her, but she didn't accessorise and only put on minimal makeup. She joined the Cohens for meals, but she didn't make eye contact with anyone but Seth. She lay next to him in his bed every night, but she rarely slept.

He was her lifeline. Her only link to Life Before.

He kissed her lips morning and night (there was nothing good about any days any more), but otherwise did not touch her intimately. He was by her side every second of the day except for the thirty minutes she had in the shower every morning.

However she seemed to draw comfort from touch; hugs were dispensed with alarming regularity. Summer had never been a touchy-feely person, but now she hugged people instead of saying hello or goodbye.

She cried sometimes, but only tears, no more sobs.

She had barely left the house in a week, hyperventilating whenever she heard a car being turned on. She and Seth went to her house once, to pick up some more clothes, but she freaked out in the driveway, and they had to call Taylor to do the actual collection.

Along with the clothes, Taylor also brought two other important possessions of Summer's back to the Cohens'; her punching bag and Princess Sparkle. Seth would brush Princess Sparkle's hair while Summer pounded the bag again and again, letting out all her frustrations except the verbal ones.

Taylor had come home from Korea as soon as Seth told her the news, and it was she who had gotten Ryan to utter his first word since coming home from the hospital. However she had no luck getting Summer to talk.

Ryan shut down, as predicted, blaming himself and Volchok and Heather and everyone except Marissa. He didn't talk to anyone for two days after the police took his statement, but finally yelled at Taylor to leave after she babbled at him for two hours. He spoke now, but only when it was absolutely necessary.

The Cohens got the full story from the police, not Ryan; that Volchok had caused the car to run off the road, and that Marissa hadn't been wearing her seatbelt when the crash occurred. Now everyone double-checked their seatbelts before the car was started.

Seth and Taylor tried everything they could think of to get Summer to speak, talking and talking at her in the hope she would say something back. Seth dispensed with the lewd jokes after two days when even the most obvious double entendres didn't garner a reaction, not even rolled eyes.

Summer's father had attempted to comfort his daughter, but when she wouldn't meet his eyes or speak to him either he gave up, kissing his only daughter on the forehead and telling Seth to take care of her. Seth didn't really blame the man – he had enough on his plate to deal with in Julie, and besides Summer had plenty of other people who were willing to take care of her.

Julie, after having to be sedated when she found out of her daughter's death, now acted very strangely – she would be hyperactive in the morning, bubbling around making breakfast and doing chores until someone forced her to sit still and watch TV. But then when the show finished she would sit staring at the blank TV for hours, until someone urged her to move from the living room to the bedroom, where she would stare at the ceiling, unable to sleep. She had come to the Cohens' a couple of times, crying with Summer and grinding teeth with Ryan, but sadness emanated off her in waves, and it only served to make the other two worse.

………………

The day of the funeral, Taylor came over to help Summer get ready. She ushered Seth out of the bathroom, insisting that Summer would be fine without him for an hour, even as Summer's brown eyes pleaded with him not to leave her. In a compromise they left the bathroom door open so Summer could still see Seth even though he was barred from crossing the threshold into the blue-tiled room.

When the two girls exited the bathroom Seth was knocked speechless by the transformation of his girlfriend. She looked like the 'old' Summer; hair perfect, makeup immaculate and dress stunning. The sorrow in her eyes was the only outward sign that not all was well.

However the sight of Seth gobsmacked produced a smile from Summer. Yes it was only a slight twitch of the corners of her mouth, but it was more of a smile than had been seen in the past week, and Seth rejoiced inside – maybe they would make it through this after all.

The funeral was a parade of old friends, come to say goodbye to the most naïve princess of Newport. Luke, Holly, Teresa, Zach and DJ were all there, as was Alex, whose heartache visibly mimicked that of Summer and Ryan. Anna met them at the chapel door, and Summer hugged her so tightly Seth had to rescue the blonde teen before she suffocated. She and Seth sat either side of Summer, hands tightly clasped with the distraught brunette's. When Ryan refused to come to the funeral, and asked Seth to read his eulogy for him it was Anna who prevented Summer from following Seth to the podium. On his way back to his seat, Seth saw Taylor staring jealously at the two women in the pew in front of her, and he had to sympathise with the girl. Here she had spent the entire year and previous week showing what a good friend she could be to Summer, and yet Summer chose to fall apart in the arms of a girl she had accused of stealing her boyfriend mere months ago. But Taylor didn't know the dynamics of Summer and Anna's relationship; brought together because of a mutual brief hatred of Seth and a love of the Golden Girls, Anna would always be the type of girl Summer believed best for Seth and yet Anna knew he could love no other than Summer.

As they watched the casket being lowered into the ground, Summer's tears started for the first time in the entire day. When it was her turn to throw a flower – yellow roses – into the grave, Summer approached the hole and spoke her first words in ten days.

"Goodbye Coop."

She let go of the rose and watched as it slowly descended into the dirt, until it landed softly on the rosewood coffin. For a moment she simply stared into the grave, unable to fathom that inside the polished wood was her best friend in the entire world. She blinked back more tears, then turned and walked away.

She continued walking past the rest of the spectators, through the graveyard until she reached the black limo that had transported them from the Cohens' house.

At the Cohen house afterwards, for the wake, Summer pushed Seth away from her. "You shouldn't bother with me any more, Cohen, I'm too screwed up to love you the way you deserve to be loved."

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Seth, shocked that she was finally shutting him out after leaning so heavily on him over the past week and a half, tried to reason with her from five feet away – the closest she would allow him to get. "I'm not leaving you Summer. Remember what you told me when you gave me this?" he indicated the platinum band on his right ring finger, "You told me you believed we could get through anything if we were both dedicated to one another. Do you doubt that dedication now? I know it's gonna be hard, but I want to help you through this." His voice rose with every syllable, until they were full-on yelling at one another.

She shook her head, crying now – why can't he see that he is better off without me? Being with me will only bring him pain, and I can't stand to cause him any more pain. She had seen his heartbreak every time she cried, and wouldn't allow herself to torture him further while she was dealing with her grief. "I won't let you ruin your life for me, Cohen!"

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

"Now you know how I felt when I told you I didn't get into Brown! You told me you could make your own decisions regarding your life, and now you wanna make my decisions for me? Why can't you see that you are my life? I've never been as happy as I am when we're together, and apart neither one of us will ever be OK again! We have to get through Marissa's…we have to get through this together!"

"You can't even say the words! She's fucking dead Cohen! As in never coming back! She's never going to be able to love anyone ever again!"

"So that's what this is about." His voice dropped to its normal volume instantly. "You think you shouldn't be happy because she's never going to be happy? Because she won't be able to do any of the things you've planned for the future? Do you really think she would want her best friend to give up her life just because she won't be able to fulfil her own?"

For a moment they just stared at one another, oblivious to the curious glances from other people at the wake. They were the only people in the entire world, and the hurt emanating from both of them was palpable.

Finally Summer turned and ran out of the room.

When Seth made to follow her he was stopped by Taylor and Anna, who were both adamant that he leave her alone for a little while. They could see that he needed some space as well, having been around her constantly since that fateful night.

So Seth reluctantly rejoined the throng outside, squirming uncomfortably at the stares of people who had seen and heard his fight with his girlfriend.

Summer ran through the Cohen house blinded by tears. She didn't know where she was going, and it was only when she smelled the familiar scent of Seth that she realise she had escaped to his room. She sat down heavily on the bed and let out a loud sigh. He just didn't understand, it wasn't fair for Summer to continue living as if nothing had happened when her best friend was no longer able to experience all the things they had looked forward to in their future. It would be better for him, for their relationship, if they just called it quits now before she hurt him irreparably. She couldn't stand it if he ended up hating her, and so as much as it broke her heart she had to let him go.

When finally given permission to search for his girlfriend two hours later, Seth scoured the entire house with no success. He checked every inch of his room, but there was no note to be found, and her cell went straight to voicemail. And idea hit him and he checked the driveway; sure enough, Summer's silver BMW was missing from its spot in front of the garage. The convertible had been in the exact same spot ever since the night when they came home from the new model home, Summer barely able to get into a car let alone drive.

His frantic proclamations that Summer had disappeared were met with scepticism from his friends – they assured him that she was probably at home sleeping off the tough day. They didn't understand that Seth knew she wasn't ready to go back to that house, and it was even less likely that she would be sleeping in the room right next door to where Marissa had spent her last night. Despite this, Taylor assured him that they had to allow Summer space to deal with recent events, and if that meant she was uncontactable for a few hours, then so be it.

……………………

Three days later there was still no sign of Summer.

Her car had been discovered at South Coast Plaza the day after Marissa's funeral, where she had extracted $1000 from her father's credit card. She had spent the night at The Mermaid, paying cash for the room. Then it seemed she had simply disappeared into thin air.

Seth was beside himself with worry, not having wanted to allow her the space in the first place. He blamed himself for her disappearance, fretting that she had been kidnapped, or robbed, or hurt.

The police were called, but it seemed Summer had been watching the crime network lately; they could find no trace of her having used any of her credit cards other than the one withdrawal in Newport, and though her cell phone was missing it remained off, so there was no way to track it. Her car yielded no clues as to where she had gone, and no-one at the bus station or airport recognised the photos they were shown.

Then on the fourth day Seth received a phone call. From Anna. Except it wasn't Anna's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hey Cohen."

"Summer?"

Seth was on the next flight to Pittsburgh.

……………………

Anna and Summer met him at the airport, and he ran over to them as fast as he could while also dragging a wheelie bag. "Omigod we thought you had been kidnapped." He proclaimed, enfolding his girlfriend in his arms and hugging her like it had been years since he'd last seen her, instead of only a few days.

When Seth finally released Summer, Anna was looking at him strangely. "What? Kidnapped?" Comprehension dawned on her, and she turned to Summer accusingly, "You told me they knew you were here!"

Summer just shrugged, clasping Seth's hand in the two of hers, "I needed a break from Newport. And I didn't want anyone else following me." She turned to Seth, "But I'm glad I called you."

Anna shook her head, unable to comprehend the absurdity of the situation. Everyone in Newport was looking for Summer, had worried she might have been kidnapped and yet the girl was living it up in Pittsburgh visiting a friend.

The three of them went back to Anna's house, and Seth left his bag in the guest room Summer was occupying.

Anna's parents were really nice and very apologetic for the whole misunderstanding – it seemed Summer had led them to believe this visit was planned. They were surprisingly OK with Seth and Summer sharing a room – while the three teens knew that nothing untoward would be going on, the adults didn't understand the full effect of Marissa's death on Summer. Swifty, Anna's Maltese terrier, took an immediate liking to Seth, and kept jumping at him asking for playtime.

After letting his parents and Neil Roberts know that Summer was found and physically fine, Seth garnered permission to stay with Anna for a few days.

A few days turned into a week, and a week turned into a few weeks, and before they knew it it had been a month since It happened.

Summer was better, but she was nowhere near back to her old self yet. She talked, but never unnecessarily, and she still had trouble sleeping. Seth was slowly easing back into showing her more affection; quick pecks morning and night were also given whenever either one left the house or arrived home, which then escalated to more passionate exchanges until finally they exchanged their first French kiss since That Night.

However when things finally escalated to removing clothes, Summer would still pull back. Seth, never one to coerce her into doing anything, didn't push the issue, but he did ask her about it. She ignored or changed the subject the first few times, until he finally forced her to answer him directly.

"I just…we were having sex while she was dying by the side of the road. And now she can't ever experience this again…and I just can't. It's not you, I love you, and I so want you, but I just can't."

It was the first time she'd said 'I love you' since Marissa's death, and Seth couldn't blame her for any of the other stuff – could barely comprehend the other stuff, as she pressed her lips to his the minute she finished talking.

But then everything went downhill on the one month anniversary of The Accident. Summer stopped eating and sleeping altogether. She would take catnaps during the day, but lay wide awake next to Seth all night. She picked at her food and moved it around on her plate but essentially ate nothing. Anna explained the issue to her parents, who only offered more support for the three teens.

Finally Seth had had enough. It had been a whole week, and she hadn't eaten anything more than a handful of raisins and a pack of corn nuts. Anna was grocery shopping with her parents, which left them the entire house to themselves. Summer had recently taken to hiding in the loft, which was done up like a photography studio as Anna's mother was a keen amateur photographer.

He would allow her all the space she needed, he didn't mind that. But he wasn't just going to stand by and watch her waste away. The pizza he'd just ordered would be there any minute and he began to eye the stairs contemptuously. If he didn't think it absolutely necessary to go up there and try to talk her into eating something, he wouldn't have considered facing a probable rage blackout when he disturbed her peace.

When he got to the top of the stairs, having stopped on every other stair to contemplate leaving her along for just one more day, Summer wasn't anywhere in sight. He took a few steps into the room and saw her huddled behind a stack of boxes against the wall.

Her knees were drawn up to her chest and she didn't even look up when his shadow fell over her as he appeared above. The toe of his shoe was right in front of her foot, millimeters away from touching her bare big toe and she withdrew her legs tighter into herself.

"Jay," he began, using his nickname for her to get her attention, "I ordered a pizza a little while ago. Should be here any minute. Come down stairs for a bit." He extended his hand to help her up and she peeled her face off her knees and gave him a mixed expression. He tried to read it, but she dropped her head before he could decipher anything. His hand dropped back to his side as her head dropped back to her knees.

Seth clenched his jaw and looked up toward the ceiling with closed eyes, trying to maintain his patience. That was when Summer spoke.

"I have no one," she muttered without looking up.

"What?" he replied, hoping there was some other meaning to her words than what they sounded like. Tell me you did not just say that…

"I lost the one person who supported me, no matter what, the one person who understood me…"

All he could do was start to walk away before she finished to prevent the angry hurt in his gut from forcing him to say something he would really regret. How could she say something like that? It was a brutal slap to the face to have his concern for her completely disregarded. He didn't care how distraught she was at the moment, her words were cold. It felt like she had shunned and mocked his every effort to make sure she was okay, had everything she needed, and had someone to talk to, and a shoulder to cry on. He felt rejected. And he didn't deal with rejection very well.

"Seth, wait," Summer called after him in a panic, scrambling to her feet. Seth stopped and turned slightly toward her approaching form. He didn't look at her until she appeared in his line of sight with the floor.

"I didn't mean it like that," she whispered pleadingly and bravely rested a hand on the white-knuckled fist that coiled around the door handle.

"Then how did you mean it?" he hissed bitterly.

"I meant that Marissa knew me better than anyone else. And I lost the one person who knew every aspect about my mind and how I handle situations and without her…" she stammered to explain herself, but eventually caved to the tears building up in here eyes and the knot caught in her throat.

Seth suddenly stamped his foot against the floor, causing her to jump and whip her hand away from his.

"Damn it, Summer!" he yelled, his temper having gotten the best of him, "If you're so alone now, then why am I standing right fucking here, in front of you? If you're lacking support, then what the hell have I been doing holding you nearly every night for the last six weeks to make sure you feel safe even if you can't sleep? Why the hell have I been asking you if you're okay or if you need something? If I'm not understanding you, then please, illuminate me! If we're not that close, then maybe you can explain to me why we can finish each other's sentences."

His mocha eyes were frozen over with malice as he speared her with his stare until he lowered his lids and sighed. Summer could tell he wasn't done talking and knew it best to wait until he was done before saying or doing anything. He spoke again, this time with less spite in his tone.

"I am right here. I've been here the whole time. You know those arms you love having around you so much in bed? Mine. And that guy whose shoulder you cry on; not that he minds…Me. I have been right by your side this entire time and you, of all people, should know I don't exactly offer to actually listen and comfort to just anybody. I'm sticking by your side and I don't plan on going anywhere, either…even if you don't want me right next to you, I'll always be there for you, in whatever capacity you wish," he added with a stony expression, absolutely serious about every word he had just uttered.

Summer stood like an abashed little girl without saying anything. She felt like a selfish brat for not thinking about anyone but herself and her loss. Ryan had lost someone he loved, and Seth had lost a friend too. And to disregard his efforts made her feel like an even bigger jackass. Her face contorted into a mask of merciless pain, apology, and self-loathing.

Seth took in her expression and the corners of his mouth drooped into a little frown as his brows came together with remorse. He slowly extended his arm toward her and curved his fingers delicately around her waist. She looked so small and frail and couldn't have weighed more than a hundred pounds now. He began to ease her closer to him until her head was against his chest and he could rest his chin on her head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered through hushed sobs while clinging to his t-shirt in desperation. He shook his head as if to tell her 'don't be.'

"I'm not mad. I was just…I…" He was struggling horribly with what he wanted to admit, for fear of running his mouth and saying entirely the wrong thing, and he let out an exasperated sigh at himself. "It hurt that you didn't trust me enough."

Her arms shifted so that they were no longer grabbing the front of his shirt and she wrapped them around him completely. "I'm scared," she muttered, "…of losing you." She'd felt that way for a while, but never could admit it to him until that moment.

"Why?" he pressed.

"Because everyone I've ever been this close to is gone, either physically or emotionally." At her words Seth once again cursed her absent parents – first her mother had physically left and then her father emotionally removed himself from her life.

"That's what this is about? Everyone dies at some point," Seth admonished. He regretted the words because the inevitable follow-up statement was something straight out of a Chicken Soup for the Soul book, and he knew she hated cookie-cutter reassurances. "I'll try not to die anytime soon."

An hour or so later, he was pleased that Summer had eaten three pieces of greasy, unhealthy, straight-to-the-hips-and-butt pieces of pizza.

THE END

So this is the end. The final chapter of Third Time Around – and the longest too, at 8,200 words – each of the others averages 3000. I had intended to get this up before Thursday's episode, but fell asleep writing the night before, and then I actually had to do work when I went to work the next day, so I couldn't finish it. But here is an early Christmas present for you all.

I think it fits in pretty well with the new season – my idea was that Summer hadn't gone inside her old house since Marissa died, and she would have gone to Brown straight from Pittsburgh, if I could have been bothered to write that far. IMHO that tied in with her unwillingness to go home in The Avengers. I also tried to address the awkwardness between her and Seth – It is my belief that they hadn't had sex since their 'box adventure' until that time in The Metamorphosis (that fateful time, for anyone who has seen The Earth Girls Are Easy).

I haven't yet decided if this will be continued into the new season…the issue is that many of the SS moments so far have been pretty angsty, and a lot has also about them while they're apart – which means I'd have to focus on one of them – think my chapter for The Pot Stirrer, as I believe a lot of the earlier S4 episodes would have to be similar to this. My other issue is that anything I write with Summer's feelings would inevitably tilt towards her feelings about Marissa's death, which a) is not the SS stuff I love to write and b) would be incredibly difficult for me, as I the only person I've ever known who died is my great grandmother, who died when I was only 6 – I don't understand what people go through, and I doubt I would be able to do it justice. That was partly what kept me from finishing this chap – I had a hard time figuring out how to portray Summer's grief. I also wanted to make sure to show that Seth did feel the loss, even though he doesn't seem to be dealing with any residual issues in the show.

My other reason for now getting this up sooner is one we all love to hate – technical difficulties. Believe it or not, I had three-quarters of this chapter written when the computer hard drive completely died. We got a new hard drive, but lost everything off the old one – including 80GB worth of videos! That's right, every single episode of The OC, House, and CSI New York, plus all the new episodes of each series. Slowly we're re-downloading everything again, but so far only have the new episodes. Anyway (lol I'm so much like Seth with the going off on tangents) stupid me hadn't backed up my new chaps and so I lost everything (yes, that was new chapters, I lost half of the new chap of Seceding Link as well). Now that this series is finished, I'm working on the new (and also last) chap of Seceding Link – like this one it will be the longest of the series. I know I said it would definitely be up before Christmas, and barring the hard drive burnout it would have. Unfortunately I've literally had to start from the beginning, so it won't be up for a while yet.

Songs used were Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol (at beginning, and during the first scene) and I'm Not Okay by My Chemical Romance (during the fight at the wake).

So please let me know what you think! I wanna know your fav line in the chapter, as always, but since this is the final chapter, please also let me know the answer (and reasons) to the following:

fav chapter/episode

least favourite chapter/episode – just to help me figure out my stronger writing style

whether you think I should continue the series into the new season – go back and read my reasons for being hesitant, and also know that the breaks between chapters will likely be as lengthy as the one for this story – then answer

Finally, an enormous thank you to everyone who has reviewed – I love you all. As you will see from my user profile, I've been writing a long time, and the OC ff community is by far the most responsive I've ever had – over 50,000 hits and 380 reviews for this story alone! The number of reviews I've received from the OC community is more than for all of my other stories combined – and I've only written 4 OC stories!

To those who have faithfully reviewed every single chapter (a feat I've never personally achieved) – June.Louise, kursk and polar-ice-cubes – thank you so much, your input and feedback was much appreciated.

Also Doves30, adambrody10, RA4Evah, Wherefore L'amour, PrincessRachel13, and the many others who reviewed almost every chapter – your support is amazing, thank you.