Title: On my own two wings
Author: Quick-demon
Disclaimer: I don't own Jak and characters or make money out of this, I do it for the love of writing... erh, sounds corny doesn't it? How about I do it for the love of torturing the characters?
Rating: Rating K+ (mild language and perhaps mild violence)
Genre: General, a pinch of humor and a splash of romance
Game: Jak 3. After the game
Summery: After a freak accident that causes Jak looses his eyesight, he is forced to face and cope with this harsh reality, if he's ever going to live again.
Author's notes: I got inspired with this idea within the week before the official start of my HSC exams. Funny how my muse happens to pick up in the most inconvenient times. If this is done before I'm sorry, I've been out of the loop for so long... for so long...
Jak woke only for his eyes to open before a sightless world. In a moment he was expecting the morning sun to peak through his window or the alarm clock digits to be glowing in the dim light but that moment passed with the reality check that he wasn't able to see anymore.
Jak sighed and blinked as he listened to the morning traffic background noise outside and felt the cold morning breeze filter the room. He could tell it was morning by these clues so he was glad he didn't wake in the middle of the night, not that it would matter, but he wasn't in the mood for anymore sleep. Since the accident he was surprised that he could pick up details in his other four senses that he never could have picked up before. He guessed it was to make up for his lost sight.
He heard small pattering of footsteps approaching him and he immediately turned to the general direction.
"Jak you're awake" Daxter's voice greeted him. Daxter stopped short, almost sworn that Jak saw him when he turned to him when he approached but his blue eyes weren't showing any recognition to his movement or expression.
He recovered and slipped to his quirky self, "Made ya breakfast buddy"
"You made breakfast?" Jak asked bewildered. Daxter couldn't cook even if he was the main meal.
"Well, uh, no" Daxter admitted, "Keira made it"
"WHAT?" Jak asked surprised. Keira was here? The nerve of her!
"Don't worry, she won't burn anything" Daxter reassured
Jak sighed and turned his head away and growled, "What part of 'I want to be alone' don't you understand?"
"What was that? I don't understand what you're talking about" Daxter quipped
Jak sighed in frustration. It had been a few weeks since the accident that robbed him of his sight. He knew that he wasn't what he was before. He couldn't do the job he was born and loved to do. He couldn't go around and defend the city, save the world or just kill off a bunch of Metal Heads if he couldn't even see where he was going!
When he was outside, he could feel people stares as he walked about with his cane or visual stick. Pity or mockery it was just the same, he no longer was apart of the world anymore. Not that he wasn't use to be looked at because he was a freak or the known hero but this time it felt different. He felt strangely alienated. He didn't want to be with anyone or talk to anyone, every time he did he felt their carefulness with their words and their pitying eyes. He felt weak, vulnerable and dependant and that was something he wasn't prepared to accept. That was partly he didn't want Keira here, he didn't need anyone, he can cook his own breakfast. He didn't know how but he would. The other part runs far more deeper.
"Tell her to leave" Jak muttered, "I don't want her here"
"Jaaaak! She's cooking bacon and eggs and I love bacon and eggs!" Daxter whined, "Why are you such a spoilt sport about this? As I recall last night you criticized my Yakow beef and noodle surprise. So I thought to bring in some help unless you want to taste my cooking again"
Jak sighed, Daxter was impossible sometimes. Jak felt for his cane and grabbed it. He got up and used it to feel his way towards the exit of his room.
"Coming on your shoulder" Daxter warned before he jumped and landed on Jak's left shoulder
Daxter had to learned to adapt with Jak too, like it or not. He was like a visual aid to Jak in the way of 'grounding' him. Creating a picture of surroundings in his head and warning him if he was about to do something to him. Daxter also had to make sure everything was tidy and in place so Jak can always find what he wanted without the help of Daxter. Daxter wasn't too happy about the lifestyle change himself but if he could help his friend through it then he would, Jak saved his life on plenty of occasions and the least he could do was stop thinking about himself.
Easier said than done.
Jak could smell the rich aromas of bacon from the kitchen as he made his way towards it. He could hear Daxter pant with hunger and anticipation. Jak stopped as he entered the kitchen, he at least had the blueprint of his apartment home in his head.
"Hi Jak" Keira greeted a few meters away
"What are you doing here?" Jak demanded a little harshly
"Making you a decent meal" she replied
"I can make it myself" he snapped
Keira sighed, "No Jak you can't"
Jak frowned and snarled, "I can if I want to and no one is going to tell me different! Especially you!"
Daxter jumped down from Jak's shoulder as Jak moved off to the adjoining living room to sit down.
"Sheesh someone rose up on the wrong side of the bed" Daxter complained, "Oh well more for us"
Keira shrank back like a wounded puppy but she was determined and moved from behind the stove and approached Jak. Jak moved slowly using his cane to find the living room couch. She came from behind him and lightly touch his elbow. He tensed at her touch.
"Go away! I can find it myself! Why are you even here?"
"Jak, just let me please?" she said exasperated before continuing, "Move to your left three steps then sit"
Jak did what she had said and sat on the couch then relaxed into it. Jak felt a bit better after that. He heard Keira move away then do some fumbling in the kitchen with clattering of plates and cutlery before propping the plates on T.V dinner trays and sitting on the seat next to him.
Jak sighed as he felt and picked up the fork and found a bacon piece. His food was often cut up in pieces to eliminate the problem of cutting the food himself. He knew it was done for safety reasons but he hated the fact that it was cut up as if he was a small child unable to do things for himself.
He chewed at the bacon, tasteless and salty. Either Hip Hog meat was getting worse in this city or he wasn't interested in eating anymore. He could smell the food aromas and delicate spices in a dish but when it came to eat, there was nothing to see and so nothing to get incredibly excited about, it just got boring.
Silence was in the room except for the clattering of metal cutlery against ceramic plate. He can feel that Keira was forcing herself here, he was just giving her the cold shoulder. He just wanted her to go away.
"You want to come to my Garage today?" she asked
"What for?" Jak asked bitterly, "Its not like I can see or anything"
Keira winced at the harsh bitterness and put forth lamely, "I need your help"
"What to feel your tools or parts for you?"
"Jak..."
"Got another 'surprise' for me huh?"
"Jak!" Daxter had to admonish for Jak's downright rudeness with no mercy or restraint. Even Daxter, dare say it, had his limitations.
"I'm not going back. No thanks Keira, I'm just fine here"
"You've been in this apartment for weeks! You've got to get out"
Jak laughed as if she was crazy, "I've got to get out and with you? Come on! If you haven't noticed I'm blind! What's the point to go out if I can't see a thing? What use can I be when I have to depend on others for everything? And if you haven't noticed I don't really like you right now"
Keira looked down at her plate almost brought to tears by his latest sting but she was determined to get through to him. If she can't then she didn't know who else would bother. Jak heard her quiet sobs. He drew back his anger and sighed before laying down his fork on his hardly eaten food.
"Sorry" he apologized, "This isn't a good time, you should know that most of all"
"No time is a good for you" Daxter muttered
Keira leaned over and touched the top of his hand, "I would really like your company" she said quietly
Jak felt her warm delicate hand on his and heard the worried tone in her voice. Even if he couldn't see her, he could feel her nervousness and her fear. He didn't know why she came or why in Haven City she was doing this. She obviously is doing it for a reason and if that was to mend what happened then he wasn't in the mood at the moment.
"Please... give me a chance" he heard her sob
He knew he can't be angry at Keira forever. He finally faltered to his feelings or remorse for his earlier rudeness and decided to stuff his bitterness, anger and depression for an hour or two.
"Fine" he agreed grudgingly
"You finished?" she asked gesturing to his plate then realizing he couldn't see her but luckily he knew what she meant
"Yeah"
"Great, lets go" she stood up and moved the trays out of the way so she could get to Jak without tipping over everything.
"What? And you leave all this food here?" Daxter exclaimed as if they were insane
"Eat the rest Dax" Jak waved his hand
Daxter didn't have to be told twice. He leaped at Jak's plate and stuffed the food down his scrawny throat. Jak heard his excitement and shook his head. Some things never change.
He felt Keira's hand at his elbow again but he didn't tense or grew snappy. He suddenly found himself 'grounded' to his surroundings, he wasn't floating around in nothingness anymore. He was even more surprised that Keira didn't attempt to drag him towards his destination but offer a support and a guide to where he needed to go. With the use of his cane and Keira's picturing instructions he could work out where he needed to go and he felt, at least, he wasn't completely dependant on someone.
"Bye!" Daxter said between chews, "See you two later!"
Daxter paused remembering what he accidentally said. Saying 'look at that' or 'see' was like a taboo to say to Jak. Expecting for Jak to snap or say something, like he had many times before, an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Jak stopped as did Keira but to Daxter's surprise Jak replied.
"See you later"
Jak felt stupid and uncomfortable sitting in his chair. He didn't know why he agreed to come here in the first place. He was in Keira's garage but her garage was a new auto parts shop that opened in the new 'water slum' district. The city was rebuilding still. Clearing out so much debris and building new facilities took a lot of time. It has been a year since he saved the world from total annihilation from the manic hands of robot Errol and the city still had a lot of things to do since half the population was wiped out by the war.
Jak still wondered why he was here, he didn't know what part of the shop he was in. He never got a good look at it since it opened a week before the accident and he was here on that day... He could hear Keira as she talked to co-workers about different parts and components and other mechanical jargon that he had no hope of ever understanding.
He could feel people's stares as they walked past and suddenly he felt conscious about his position. Everyone could see him for who he is, the hero of the world, crippled by blindness. He couldn't even leave, he didn't know his way around the shop and can easily knock something over. Who knows? He could cause further damage to himself, his eyes are already dead. He wanted to save that humiliation for someone else but he also felt humiliated by sitting here.
A soft hand touched his arm.
"Sorry Jak for bringing you here. I know you don't like it here or me especially since the... accident" Keira murmured, "But I've organized for a friend of mine to take you"
"What?" Jak asked surprised. Where did this come from? Why is she leaving me with someone I don't even know?
"Before you start, she's a teacher and she's helped many people with blindness Jak"
"Hello Jak" another stronger voice came in his field and it was female
He could feel her presence was strong but nice. There was a small silence after that. Jak moved his head up expecting the faces would be in those positions. Since he went blind he found interacting with sighted people was a little difficult. Things he took for granted like body language was no longer available to him. While he could give body language he couldn't read other peoples so a raised of the eyebrow, a smile, a mocking glance did go unnoticed by him since he couldn't respond to them. In early days and even now he found it hard to keep up in conversations since he couldn't see facial expressions or hand gestures, add that with background noise, he found it hard to rely on hearing.
An old but warm hand was placed on his shoulder. He was surprised at the gesture because he knew it wasn't Keira's and he knew strangers wouldn't go and touch anyone.
"I am Josan. I am a teacher from the children's primary school before the war but after I'm a rehabilitation teacher for people who have disabilities" he voice was old but sweet
"What a career change" Jak muttered
"I'm here to help you with your blindness" she continued
"I don't need your help!" Jak snapped
"You need help coping with it"
"I can cope just fine!" Jak snapped again
"Jak" Keira hissed embarrassingly telling him to be nice but he wasn't in the mood for it
"If you dragged me down here Keira, so I can get help from a teacher who wants to be a shrink, no thanks. I don't need help and I don't want any"
"Jak-" she was cut off
The older woman's hand squeezed his shoulder slightly, "Jak I am not telling you have to deal and face with your blindness. You will do that in your own time. I'm here to help you get your life back on track again"
Jak laughed mockingly, "My life? Back on track? Listen, for the past six years, if you skip time travel, I've been the one in action running around and saving this world's ass from total destruction! This needs me to have full eye sight so I can see where the hell I'm going and where to aim my gun to shoot the Metal Heads. Now you're saying if you can get me back on the field while still being blind, which I highly doubt it, then help me but if you can't do that then don't even bother"
"I may not get your job back Jak but I can help you be more independent of yourself and learn to reconnect with the world"
"I'm independent and I don't want to 'reconnect' with this damn world. I hate it as much as it hates me and I'm not going out of my way just to-" he suddenly stopped and turned to Keira, "Keira why did you trick me so I can meet this old bird?"
"For the past few weeks you've been feeling that everyone laughs at you and pity you because of your injury" the woman's tone was spoken more strongly, "Your dependence on others takes away your self worth, dignity and pride. Jak you are not your job, what you do in the field isn't who you are. You're lost and I'm here to help you get back in touch with the world. That doesn't mean to give in to it but to help you to live with your condition more sufficiently. From there you can build your life and find your own way. All I am here to do is to give you tools and not to dictate what you should or shouldn't do"
Jak finally gave in. This Josan lady was making sense and suddenly Jak felt emotionally tired. His bitter and angry defenses was finally put down. For the past few weeks he had them up and wouldn't have cared if the whole city burnt to the ground or he walked right off a cliff. He kept to himself and in his apartment, even Daxter didn't talk to him often because he drove him and all of them away.
"Fine" he reluctantly agreed with a sigh
Keira smiled when Jak finally caved to Josan's persuasion. Even if he couldn't see it, she was happy that he was taking that step to do something. Her putting up with his earlier behavior was worth it for this moment. For the past few weeks Jak withdrew into himself and from others because of her, because of the accident, and she wanted to help him through it but he wouldn't have any of it.
"Good" Josan smiled, her hazel eyes lighting up with delight, "We shall begin straight away"
Jak said dryly, "It's not like I'm doing anything useful around here"
Jak rose to his feet with the cane in hand.
Keira touched Jak's arm, "Thanks Jak. Good luck"
With that she stepped back as Josan took his arm and guided him to the exit of the shop. Jak saw that Josan guided him though his way like Keira did, never dragging him around but telling him his surroundings so he would get a better picture. Jak realized that Keira had known this woman for a while because the woman was acting the same way Keira was when she directed him out of his apartment. Josan had to have advised her on what to do with him.
This means Keira had planned this meeting, meaning she wanted this all along and that he had fallen into the trap that she had set up. While he hated being tricked like that he came to realize that someone at least didn't count him as useless but he should have expected that from Keira. His initial anger to Keira stopped him from seeing that.
Jak and Josan left the shop and entering the big city outside.
To be continued...
Hmmm... what's gonna happen to Jak now? Can Jak ever cope with this tragedy? And what is with his anger towards Keira? Can he find his way and reconnect with people that care about him most? Is there any hope for Jak's sight? Can Daxter ever learn to cook?
Please review. Express your thoughts and opinions here. I would appreciate it :)