Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits basket, or the song by the black eye pea's, I just think the songs funny and really stupid.
Shigure stood up in the school gym in which they were using to host a singing contest aka "Karaoke time." What started this all…well…We try not to ask. Maybe it was because Ritsu came over one day singing some odd song and that started a whole conversation about who can sing better, maybe it was because Shigure got tired of his house being destroyed so he decided to have them settle their differences a different way. Who knows and who really wants to know? All we need to know is that how they're all in the school gym, which they paid to use, singing to see who's the best…Let the Karaoke BEGIN!
Shigure looked at everyone in the gym, "Everyone settle down, we're now starting our competition. Lets meet the judges."
"Damn it we already know the judges!" Kyo yelled from his place on the bleachers.
"Shut up orange-top let the man talk!" Uo shouted back.
"Who invited you?"
"Does it matter," Hana asked glaring at Kyo. He shut up after that. Tohru looked back and forth between the two confused.
Shigure looks at them, "Ok anyways now to introduce the judges Hatori Sohma, Kureno Sohma, and Kazuma Sohma."
"Why did you say each of their last names, they're all the same!" Kyo screamed.
"Shut up you stupid cat."
"Oh you wanna go you damn rat."
"Umm…Lets begin. Our first singer is Ritsu singing…..Ritsu, are you serious!" Looks at Ritsu as he nods, "Oh Kami, My humps, by the Black Eye Peas."
Ritsu walked out on stage and smiled as the music came on. He was wearing his usual feminine Kimono, basically looking like a chick. He took a deep breathe and began to sing.
"What you gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)"
Ritsu started to dance along with the music. He moved to the beat perfectly and even did some moves that dealt with the song.
"I drive these scrubbers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karen, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin'
Fly gear but I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass 'n,
Se7en Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't fakin'
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating."
Everyone stared at Ritsu their mouths hanging open. Why, in gods name, was Ritsu singing this song…Nobody knew but it sure was creepy.
"My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me."
"What you gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gonna do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cause of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)"
At the next part Ritsu's voice turned more masculine. He was acting like a girl and a guy at the same time. Doing both the male and female parts with different tones.
"I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight."
His voice went back to feminine and he started dance in a pretty disturbing way, since Ritsu can't dance that, well, made it worse.
"They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
you can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump"
"My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (x3)
In the back and in the front.
My lovin' got you,
She's got me spendin'. (Oh)
Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me"
"What you gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gonna do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gonna do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me."
Ritsu finished his song and stood on stage. The crowd was dead silent. Did Ritsu really just sing and dance to that song? After about a minute of silence Ritsu starting getting worried.
"Oh my god you hated it, I'm such a failure! I'm not fit to sing on stage in front of you all. I feel so ashamed." Ritsu screamed.
"No no its alright Ritsu," Shigure stated trying to comfort the boy, "It was so beautiful everyone is stunned speechless."
"Really? That's great!" Ritsu said running off of the stage. Shigure looked at the judges. Points: Hatori: 3, Kazuma: 2, Kureno: What was that! I mean 1"
"Ok Ritsu gets a total of 6 points out of 30.…"
"Damn, that sucked!" Kyo finally yelled.
"Just for that Kyo is the next one to sing."
"No, I'm NOT!"
"We'll sing!" The Yuki fan club girls ran on stage.
"Who invited them?"
What did you think? Good, bad? I don't like flames though constructive criticism is welcomed! Oh dont give be shiton what i want to write about! I dont want to hear it.