Pairing: Mark/Roger
Rating: R(ish) for sexual content/Mature Audiences Only
Summary: Mark and Roger need eachother like this.
Like This
It goes like this:Roger, he hates being unloved. He thrives off attention and adoration and glory. That's why he performs. On stage every one loves you and wants you and is watching you. Roger, he needs to feel wanted, and when that's taken away he crashes. The only one who can ever save him is Mark.
It happens after their band gets trashed talked, after April leaves the first time, after her death.
It's all teeth and heat and moans and sweat. It's all bite marks and hard and offbeat thrusting.
When Roger's self confidence gets shredded he goes to Mark, pinning him to a wall, throwing him down on the bed, slamming him against the table. He growls, hands already down Mark's pants and teeth sinking into pale skin.
"You want this Mark," he says, voice low and rough and demanding. Mark doesn't have a choice, when Roger gets like this. Roger, he needs to feel in control. He need Mark to want him. "You want me to fuck you?"
Mark, he always gives the same answer. What else can he say with Roger's fist around his cock and his legs pushed open? With Roger clawing at his clothes and pinning his wrist above him and teeth buried in his skin. It's all, "Yes, please," and "God, Roger," and "Need you... Please... Roger... More." When Roger gets hurt, Mark gets fuck fast and hard and until neither can move any more.
This is Mark's way of showing Roger that he will always be there. He will always be a fan and a friend. This is Mark's way of reminding Roger not to give up, that he is not alone. That he can find that glory.
It goes like this:
Mark, he hates feeling. It seems like every time he gets attached to anything the whole world goes out of its way to destroy it, to take it from Mark. He hides behind his camera saying he loves his work and all he needs is his work and he wants to change the world with his work. Really, the only thing Mark wants to change is himself.
It happens after his film crashes, after Maureen leaves, after Angel dies.
It's all "take me" and "have me" and "own me". It's all hands and slow and torture.
When Mark can't take the feelings anymore, he sits on Roger's bed, naked and legs spread and waiting until Roger comes and finds him. Roger knows just what to do. How to push Mark against the back wall. How to tie his hands to the bedpost.
"More," Mark whimpers, low and sad and needy. Roger, he knows how to draw it out when Mark gets like this. When Mark needs to stop thinking. He needs Roger to own him. "Please, Roger? More?"
Roger knows how to feel for Mark. How to lick and kiss every inch of him but his lips. How to tease and frustrate Mark, taking his mind off of everything but the here and now and this. It's all, "You like that?" and "Not yet," and "So hot... So fucking hot and slutty and wanton, aren't you?" When Mark gets hurt, Roger spends all night teasing his cock until both boys come hard enough to pass out.
This is Roger's way of showing Mark it's okay to feel. Mark can always be strong and silent and untouchable behind his camera, and still needy in Roger's arms. This is Roger's way of reminding Mark not to loose himself. That there are some things you just can't get from the film.
It goes like this:
Sex is like anything else in life. Addictive. Roger, he's never been good with addictions. He falls quick and hard for any drugs he can get his hands on.
Mark is no difference.
Suddenly, it's not just the big things. It's a fight with Mimi, it's a bad gig, it's anything that gives him an excuse to get Mark against the wall with his legs wrapped around Roger's waist and Roger thrusting into him hot and ready. Roger, he wants to taste every inch of Mark. He wants to make Mark beg.
It goes like this:
Love isn't like anything else in the world. With almost anything you can find patterns, meanings, something to explain what is happening. With love, all you get a warning. And that's if you're lucky.
Mark doesn't want to fall in love with Roger. He didn't give love his permission. He didn't sign any contracts or submit a request. It just happened.
Suddenly, it's not just the big things. It's getting angry over a shot, it's being disappointed with the weather, it's anything that gives him an excuse to get into Roger's bed with his cock already against his stomach and his hands against the bedpost. Mark, he wants Roger to fill him. He wants to make Roger love him.
It goes like this:
Mark and Roger, they hate sleeping alone. Roger loves having some one beside him, someone he can hold, and Mark will cuddle with anything put next to him: a pillow, a blanket, a best friend. It makes sense, then, that they'd sleep together. Even if they promise themselves it means nothing. Even if the sex and the touching and the whispers aren't any more special then they were before, it just makes sense for them to spend the night in each other's arms.
Roger doesn't complain when they stop being so rough with each other. When it goes from "Please" to "Yes". From "Slut" to "Mark."
Mark doesn't complain when they get more caring. From bites to kisses. From neck to lips.
This is their way of being next to someone, of staying together. It's hard to find closeness when the world keeps falling a part on you. Mark and Roger, they're just trying to keep themselves whole.
It goes like this.