Author's Notes: This is the Destiny version. Again, non-yaoi, spur-of-the-moment, plot-less, and another result of my bout with insomnia. Does anyone have a cure?
I apologize as early as now if you get offended by some comments.
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Hot-head Commander and The Other Subordinate
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Yzak and Shiho,
Sitting in a tree…
…
…
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Athrun: (curious) So… what are they doing there?
Dearka: (shrug) I don't know. Shiho doesn't talk.
Yzak: (smug look) Just because she doesn't talk doesn't mean that she doesn't do anything either.
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Foul-mouthed Protagonist and Butt-kicking Female Pilot
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Shinn and Luna,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Rey: (frowns) I don't think so.
Vino: (smirk) Why? Because you like Lunamaria? Or Shinn?
Rey: (flatly) Because I saw them kissing in space.
Youlant: Woah! Really?
Shinn and Luna: (blushing madly) Rey!
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Foul-mouthed Protagonist and Dazed Extended
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Shinn and Stellar,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
First comes love!
Second comes marriage!
Third comes a baby in a baby carriage!
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Stellar: Where do babies come from?
Shinn: (hiding from Luna)
Luna: (dryly) Isn't Stellar supposed to be dead?
Stellar: (shocked) Dead! Dying! It's bad! It's scary!
Neo: Quick! Get the shots!
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Foul-mouthed Protagonist and Princess Prime Minister
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Shinn and Cagalli,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Shinn: (yelling) Are you a fucking moron? Why the hell would I kiss her? I might as well kiss Rey!
Rey: (slaps hand into forehead) Don't encourage the fan-girls, Shinn.
Cagalli: It's not like I would want to kiss you either, jerk! (slaps Shinn)
Gilbert: (thoughtful look) You know, that's something that she should've done in the series.
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Foul-mouthed Protagonist and Dead Sister
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Shinn and Mayu,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Shinn: (horrified) You sick, sick bastards! That's incest!
Rau: (muttering) Not to mention necrophilia…
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Leader Extended and …?
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Sting and…
…
…
Just who is suitable for him, anyway?
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Sting: (sulking) Thanks a lot!
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Cocky Momma's Boy Extended and Dazed Extended
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Auel and Stellar,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Auel: (blushing) Why would I kiss a moron!
Stellar: Sting… (confused) What does K-I-S-S-I-N-G read?
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Purple-haired Freak and Princess Prime Minister
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Jona and Cagalli,
Standing up in stage!
W-E-D-D-I-N-G!
First comes Athrun,
Second comes Justice,
Third comes Jona in a blasted coffin!
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Jona: (defensive) Hey! That's not what happened in the series!
Cagalli: Not like you were any better there, scaredy-cat! (throws a shoe at Jona)
Kira: Did you know that Athrun spent all night composing that?
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Purple-haired Freak and a GOUF
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Jona and a blue GOUF,
In the middle of the runway,
R-U-N-N-I-N-G!
First, comes an 'oof!'
Down goes the blue GOUF
And there goes Jona's squished body parts!
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Cagalli: Don't tell me…
Kira: (nodding) Yup. Athrun did that as well.
Yzak: I always knew Athrun had a violent side…
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Everyone's Favorite Cloned Clone and Butt-kicking Female Pilot
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Rey and Luna,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Jibril: What a cute couple. A blond girl and a red-haired male!
Rey: (hops inside Legend, activates its DRAGOONS and aims it at Jibril) Déjà vu.
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Evil Chairman and Everyone's Favorite Cloned Clone
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Gilbert and Rey,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Rey: (screams bloody murder) THAT IS IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS STUPID GAME! I COULD TOLERATE BEING PAIRED WITH SHINN OR BEING CALLED A GIRL, BUT BEING PAIRED WITH GIL? THAT IS JUST SICK! HE'S PRACTICALLY MY FATHER! (goes Rau-like and goes on a killing rampage)
Gilbert: I never knew he felt that strongly about it.
Rau: (sneer) I told him to cut his hair… but did he listen to me? NOOOOOOoooo… Teenagers these days.
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Knight in Red and Minerva CIC Girl
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Athrun and Meyrin,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Meyrin: (blushing) I-it's n-not like that! It's just an innocent crush!
Cagalli: Crush… That's a coincidence! (death glare) Because I'd like to crush Athrun now!
Athrun: (hiding…somewhere) Gulp!
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Knight in Red and Butt-kicking Female Pilot
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Athrun and Luna,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Athrun: (slaps his forehead) Whoever the singer is… You're trying to get me killed!
Luna: (looking at Cagalli nervously) Me, too! I've got Shinn, for crying out loud!
Stellar: …but I thought Shinn liked Stellar…?
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Knight in Red and Bouncy Songstress
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Athrun and Meer,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
First comes a Haro!
Second comes a shotgun!
Third comes a coffin carrying Meer's dead body!
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Meer: (pouting) That's mean!
Kira: (shrug) Guess who wrote that?
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Knight in Red and Princess Prime Minister
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Athrun and Cagalli,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Cagalli: (calm now) I thought Lacus said you couldn't climb a tree?
Athrun: (shyly) For you, I'd learn how to.
AC fan-girls: Awwwwww!
Gilbert: (shaking his head) And the scriptwriter said they never had a thing for each other…
Talia: (nods) Friends don't kiss or hug like that.
Rau: (smirk) What about you two? You had sex.
Talia: Whoever said anything about Gilbert and me being 'just friends'?
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Knight in Red and Foul-mouthed Protagonist
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Athrun and Shinn…
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Athrun: (finally explodes) ARGH! AS IF IT WASN'T ENOUGH BEING PAIRED WITH THREE MORE GIRLS! (joins Rey on his killing rampage)
Shinn: Just what is it with Athrun that makes him so pair-able with other characters? You could pair practically anyone with him!
ATHRUN: I AM NOT A M(bleeeeeeeeeep)ING W(bleep!)E!
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Coffee Freak and Archangel Captain
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Andrew and Murrue,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Andrew: (laughs) As if I could climb a tree with a missing arm and leg!
Murrue: (giggles)
Neo: (confused) Makes me wonder even more if they had a relationship…
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Masked Man Version 2.0 and Archangel Captain
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Neo and Murrue,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Murrue: I'm not gonna do that!
Neo: (crushed) Why not?
Murrue: You have to regain your memories first. Until then, only hugs are allowed.
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Evil Chairman and Everyone's Favorite Clone
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Gilbert and Rau,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Gilbert: (amused smile) Why, Rau! You never told me you felt that way!
Rau: (sarcastic) Oh, you know. I was too busy plotting to kill everyone that I didn't have time for love.
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Evil Chairman and Minerva Captain
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Gilbert and Talia,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Rau: (sneer) That's not the only thing happening there.
Gilbert: I'd pick a more suitable place…Like the captain's cabin, for example.
Talia: (nodding) True, true.
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Invincible Pilot and Bouncy Songstress
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Kira and Meer,
Sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
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Lacus: (teary-eyed) How could you!
Kira: Huh? I can explain! If ever that would happen, it would all be a case of mistaken identity!
Lacus: MISTAKEN? Take a long look at our chests and tell me if it's mistaken identity!
Kira: I didn't notice it! Honest! (getting desperate) Please, Lacus…
-Everyone starts laughing-
Kira: Wha-?
Lacus-who-turned-out-to-be-Meer: Ah! Sorry, Kira! Lacus-sama put me up to it! (apologetic look)
Lacus-the-REAL-one: (steps out of hiding place, giggling) You look so cute when you're groveling for forgiveness!
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Author's Notes: Thank you very much to everyone who reviewed. Now that I've gotten this out of my system, I could go back to writing 'Salute!' in peace…
If you're wondering why the dead characters are in there, we paid for the services of a spirit medium to channel their spirits. And who is the blasted, annoying singer anyway? Answer: Who knows? It's a mystery and no one knows. :D
Flame me if you're prepared for the full-scale war that will follow. I haven't slept a wink in three friggin' days so I might be a little cranky. :)