Classic

Chapter 12

He knew it was wrong but he had to know. It was killing him the sharp pains that were stabbing his heart. He would even go as far as to say he was ashamed of what he was doing but that didn't stop him form crouching near a window he had cracked open slightly to hear the conversation going on outside. He just had to know.

She had her arms wrapped around her small frame shielding herself from the harsh winter. "What are you doing here, Sean?" she asked. Logan noticed she was keeping a safe distance away from him. It gave him some hope.

Sean looked uncomfortable. He was wearing dishevelled clothes and he kept running his hands through his already tousled hair. "Last night after you left, I couldn't sleep," he admitted. "I want to, no, I need to apologise. We went too fast. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I need you to believe that I hadn't planned on that happening."

"Sean," Rory said, she didn't sound angry to Logan, it was quite the contrary, actually, she sounded almost sympathetic.

"No, Rory," he said. "Let e get this out."

Rory nodded and said nothing but waited from Sean to continue.

"Last night I honestly had no intention of even trying to seduce you, really I didn't" he told her sounding sincere but his comment made Logan's blood boiled. He was able to figure out what had happened during the date.

"I mean," Sean, continued, "it was our first date. I didn't want to rush anything. I know you aren't that kind of girl. I like that about you. And when it happened and you said it was a mistake, I freaked." Logan couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, his first grin in a long time.

"Look, Sean," Rory said, "you're a nice guy but—"

"I want to make it up to you, Rory," Sean was now saying. "Some place casual, this time, no alcohol. Maybe for our first date we should have just stuck to coffee, huh?" he said with a sheepish smile.

Rory gave a small laugh. "Yeah, maybe we should have."

"So," he said, "is there any possibility of me getting a second shot?"

Logan froze. He stopped breathing. He was visibly shaking. It was the moment of truth. Rory opened her mouth and—

"Hem hem," someone cleared their throat and Logan jumped.

Colin was standing behind him with his arms crossed. "Its not nice to eavesdrop, Logan" Colin said casually.

Logan felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Right," he said quickly and moved away from the window and sat at the kitchen table.

Logan remained silent as they sat waiting. He was straining his ears to hear what was going on outside. He could hear the occasional mumble but he couldn't make out an actual word. His mind was able to come up with a few scenarios that could be playing out. Each made his head hurt worse than it already did.

It was a few minutes that felt excruciatingly long to Logan before Rory walked through the front door a small smile on her face.

She walked straight into the kitchen without even glancing at Logan not even to flash him a dirty look. It was enough to make any man squirm. As she moved about the kitchen Logan kept his gaze on the table in front of him only to look up when a plate of toast was placed in front of him with a bottle of water and some Aspirin.

She kept her voice low as not to startle him as she inquired, "you feeling any better this morning?"

He nodded. He couldn't help but think the lack of hostility towards him was a good sign. "Thank you," he said softly.

She looked at him quizzically for a moment before she replied with, "you're welcome."

"You know," Colin, said, "I think I'm going to go home."

"Are you sure Colin?" Rory asked ever the polite one. "You're more than welcome to stay."

Colin shot her a smile. "I think you have your hands full enough with Finn and Logan to watch over. Anyway, I have a class soon."

Panic suddenly filled Rory's eyes. "Oh crap!" she said. "Its Monday!"

Colin laughed. "Why, yes Rory it is. I knew if you put your mind to it you could finally learn the days of the week."

"Stop confusing me with Finn, Colin."

Colin laughed. "Later, Reporter Girl."

"Bye, Col," she said to his retreating back.

Logan watched the exchange with interest. It still amazed him how well she interacted with his friends. She had captured their hearts as well as his.

Rory moved back into the kitchen and started to brew coffee. Logan's eyes followed her every move as she opened a cabinet and reached to pull out a mug. The dress she was wearing lifted slightly to reveal a piece of the porcelain skin of her thigh. He swallowed.

"Logan!"

His head snapped up from her thighs to her face. "Sorry."

"You spaced out," she told him. "I was just asking if you wanted a coffee." She pointed towards the now ready coffee.

He shook his head slowly. "No, thank you."

Apparently she hadn't noticed where his eyes had been staring.

She took her cup of coffee and sat across from him. Her gaze was piercing but it wasn't judging. She looked almost concerned.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I got drunk," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"I know you, Logan," she said. "You never drink that much. Something must have happened. Was it your father?"

He shook his head. He didn't want to tell her but he knew she would find a way to get it out of him She always knew.

"Is it school?" she probed.

Again he shook his head.

"Okay," she said. "So it wasn't your father or school. Are you fighting with Finn or Colin? Is that why Colin left?"

Once again all he gave was a shake of his head.

"Eat your toast, Logan," she instructed. "You threw up a lot last night. You need to get something in your stomach."

He nodded and ripped a small piece of toast off and put it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, almost experimentally. He swallowed almost expecting to make a mad dash to the bathroom. It didn't come.

"Is everything alright with Honor? Your mother?" She asked.

He nodded.

"You really scared me last night, Logan," she admitted to him. "I had never seen you like that before and I never want to see you like that again."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Just don't do that to me again."

"No," he said, his voice was more confident now. "I'm sorry."

He was no longer talking about last night's incident and he knew she knew that.

"Not now, Logan," she said. Her tone was final. "What happened last night?"

"Are you going to see him again?" He didn't know what possessed him to ask her that. He bit his tongue. Shit.

"Ah," she said knowingly. "Is that what it was about?"

He couldn't meet her eye.

"You broke up with me," she said slowly. "I'm allowed to date now."

"Did you have sex with him?" he asked. He needed to know. Maybe he had misinterpreted the conversation he heard.

"Logan…" she said clearly not wanting to have this discussion.

"Did you?" he asked again.

"Why are you being like this?" she asked, she shook her head in dismay. "You've been dating other people and sleeping with them. Why can't I?"

He knew she had a point and he knew he was being a hypocrite but it was still hurting him.

"You don't understand," he tried.

"You're right," she said. She was getting angry, he knew. "Maybe, we should get Honor over here and have her explain it to me?"

He sucked in a breath. "Ouch," he said quietly. "I guess I deserve that."

"You guess?"

"Okay," he consented. "I deserved that."

"Yes," she said. "You did. That was low, even for you."

He knew she was right. When he had told Honor they had broken up he was still angry but now that he though about it he wasn't sure if he was angry with her or himself.

"Why does it make you so angry that I started to date again," she asked after a moment's silence.

He shrugged.

"Logan," she cautioned.

"Because," he said heavily, "it means that I don't have a chance anymore."

"And whose fault it that?"

"I know its mine."

"Especially since you started to date again right after our break up."

He looked at her hoping the regret he felt would show on his face. "I didn't know what else to do."

"So you started to shack up with every girl on campus again? I'm sure they were all ecstatic you were back on the market, weren't they?"

"Rory…" he pleaded. He knew he screwed up he didn't need her to remind him. He knew.

"Why did you act like you did the night Jess came?" she asked. The question stumped him. He didn't think she would ask about that. He hoped she wouldn't. "That wasn't you that night."

He nodded, agreeing. He had been upset that night. And drunk. Two things that didn't mix well with Logan already but sprinkle on the raging jealously he had felt, it was enough to cause disaster. Logan knew that if he ever wanted another chance with Rory he had to be honest, brutally honest. He needed to confess.

"Remember how I told you 'come June, my life is over'?" he asked.

She nodded. "How could I forget?"

He ignored her jibe. "In June," he said. "Right after I graduate, my dad is sending me to work at one of his papers for a year."

Rory frowned. "You always knew he would make you work for him. Why would it start to bother you now?"

"In London," he finished as though she hadn't interrupted him.

"Ontario?" she asked hopefully.

"England. As in three thousand miles away from home, away from you."

"Oh."

"When I saw you with Jason"

"Jess."

"When I saw you with Jess I had already been beyond angry," he confessed, "add your ex-boyfriend, jealously and one too many drinks and well…this happens. I was faced with losing you then to Jess or in June to my father. When Honor and I spoke at Thanksgiving I was still beyond angry. I told her we broke up and honestly after that blow up we had at the pub that night I figured I had already lost you. At that point I thought it would be best if we didn't see each other. I thought it would be easier. You weren't at Yale so I didn't have to see you everyday. I thought it would help me forget you so that when I got shipped overseas it wouldn't be as bad. I was wrong, Rory."

He looked over her face trying to find out what she was thinking but her face was impassive.

"When I found out you were coming back to Yale I started to see the other girls. I thought if I could distract myself with them I wouldn't think about you. Once again, I was wrong. I thought about you constantly. I can't forget you Rory. I can't and I won't. There is no way I'd let myself."

"Rory, that day, when my father told me about the plans for London, the only thing I could think about was leaving you for a whole year. What was I supposed to do with my Ace? I still don't know. Look at me Rory! Look what I've already been reduced to and its all my fault, I know that, but it doesn't change the fact that without you I'm nothing. Worthess. Just another rich kid. I guess you were right about me all along, huh?" He tried to let out a chuckle.

"It took you three months to tell me this." It wasn't a question, she was just stating a fact but it was still a shard of glass right through his heart.

"I know I don't deserve it and if I were you I wouldn't but I want a second chance. I need it. I need to prove to you that I can be the guy for you. That I can treat you right, because I can. I just need a chance to." He knew he was begging and he knew if he needed to he would be crawling on his knee in an instant. "If you have any fond feelings for me left at all, you'll give me a chance. Please, Ace."

She bit her lip.

"One more chance, Ace. Dinner, coffee, ice cream even though its winter. Anything. Just let me have the chance. One chance. If it goes bad I'll leave you alone. I promise just give me the chance."

There was a determined glint in her eyes now.

"Pouring your heart out now still doesn't make up for your behaviour," she told him sternly.

"I know it doesn't," he assured her. "And I'll make it up to you. I will. I promise you, I will."

"You have no idea how much you've hurt me do you?" she asked.

"Does it feel like there is a great big gapping void where your heart used to be?" he asked. "'Cause I know how that feels like."

"I don't know," she said, "I really don't know if I can give you another chance."

He didn't say anything.

"There is always the possibility that if I give you another shot you will just shatter my heart again."

So there was a possibility that she wanted to give him another chance.

"I won't hurt you."

"You might."

"No," he said adamantly, "I couldn't hurt you. Not again. I would never forgive myself."

She shook her head but he could see her barriers weakening.

"You don't have to make your decision now, Ace. Just promise you will think about it."

She looked at him. Her expression no longer wanted to make him go hide and punish himself.

She nodded.

-

"Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking."

"You'll never believe the night I had," Rory, said not even bothering with a proper greeting.

-

A/N: So it only took twelve chapters but Logan and Rory finally had a chat. Progress, I think.